Siblings could be considered a blessing…or not. There are times that siblings become the best of best friends; however, there are times that they become the mortal enemies of each other. No matter how many fights siblings have, at the end of the day, they know that their bond is special because they are related by blood. Well, they don’t have choice, anyway.
Sibling fights may start even before the younger sibling is born. It progresses as they age. Fights varies from different reasons, but mostly because one child wanted to gain attention, but more attention was given to other one. Also, there may be a problem if all of the siblings were not given equal or reasonable presents or treats. From the simple things to complicated matters, even when they grow as adults, conflicts are inevitable.
Kids may hurt their siblings either physically or emotionally. It may be because of their changing needs when they are going through different developmental stages of life. This affects their identities and how they relate to their siblings. Another reason may be their different level of temperaments. Some kids are moody, but some are easy to get along with. Now, kids with temperament differences will clash when joined together.
Listed below is a list of true moments shared by parents when their kids tried to hurt their sibling. Some are funny and cute stories, while some are serious. Parents deal differently when their children fight. Usually, their fights are making their parents worried and frustrated. However, every parent must be educated and know how to deal with their kids’ issues.
15 Out Of The Blue
A mom spoke about a problem with her son as he hits his 9-month-old sister. His attacks are always unexpected. For example, he was carrying his sister and was caressing her carefully. He seemed to be giving her sister gentle strokes and playing with her. Suddenly, he pushed her and/or started to hit her. There were no warning signs that he would hurt his sister.
The mom is usually off guard whenever her son tries to hurt his sister. She stated that there are no outward signs of anger to give her a clue that her son is going to have one of these outbursts. She feels it’s crazy to tell her son that he looks angry when he doesn’t look as if he is. She can’t confront her son before something bad happens. She thought that the son seems to be hurting his sister for the fun of doing it — out of the blue. It’s like the son covers up his feelings of jealousy or anger, and is conflicted because on one hand he adores his sister, but on the other, he is angry that he is not the only child who gets his parents’ attention anymore. The mom should encourage him to express his feelings through verbalization and definitely explain to him that mom and dad don’t love him any less because he has a sibling.
14 Who Wins Daddy?
It is funny when kids fight over little things. They argue about who gets to unlock the car door, who gets the first or the last of anything, color blue or color red, who's hot cocoa is hotter, who will NOT have to do the dishes, anything based on their own opinion, and even anything based on real fact. They might even fight who loves Mom or Dad the most. They just argue about everything.
There is a story about 2 kids who were 5-years old and 2-years old. They fought mostly about who gets their dad’s attention the most. Their fight caused a lot of silly arguments inside their house. What the 2 kids are fighting for usually was who’s going to ride their dad’s shoulders, who their dad’s going to bathe first, or who’s going to sit on their dad’s lap. Poor mom, she’s probably feeling a bit left out.
13 Fighting Over Something Not Even Real
It’s really fun playing imaginary games with kids. For example, there would be a lava floor where the kid should only step on items that will save their feet from the hot lava; shark in the sea (still the floor) where the bed is the boat; electric fan that acts as a machine gun, and other crazy stuff. This may be fun even for adults playing with kids, however, problems arise when kids take things too seriously.
A mom shared a story about her kids one time her kids were fighting. She found her kids running around the room chasing each other, apparently fighting over something. Soon she realized the younger kid was crying, and she continued for about 10 minutes. The mom learned that they were chasing each other because they were fighting over a plate of cookies, which was imaginary. The older kid had pretended to eat the cookies, which made the younger sibling cry because she didn’t get any cookies .
12 Who Gets The Deep End Of The Tub
Kids fight over irrational things. Although siblings may seem to be close and be BFF’s (best friend forever) sometimes, parents shouldn’t be fooled because the normal thing is that siblings will find something to fight about. It’s alright, though, because as they grow older, hopefully, they will learn to overcome the small fights. They will laugh about the little things that they used to fight over.
A mom confessed that when the family went on vacation she put her three small kids in the bathtub together, seeming that all the kids had gotten along well and done everything together all day. However, it turned into a huge battle once all the kids were in the tub and the fighting continued throughout that and several other vacations. The battles were about who was going to get the deepest end of the tub. Wet bodies, bathtubs and fights don’t go very well together.
11 Don’t Even Look At My Toy
Older sisters may always have a special resentment towards her younger sister. This is actually a universal rule — it applies to boy-girl and boy-boy siblings. As long as there is an older sibling, he or she will always end up being a bully to their younger siblings somewhere along the line. If the sibling relationship goes well, this will be overcome in their life later.
There is a story of a girl of 4 years of age who would bully her sister, 2-years old. The older one had a toy and was really possessive of it. This child saw that her younger sibling was looking at her toy. Her possessive and bully senses started tingling and she went hysterical and started to fight with her younger sister and claimed her sister was playing with it. She was apparently taking preemptive action to make sure her sister had no more thoughts of coveting the toy.
10 That Elsa Cup And Plate, Please
Who doesn't love Disney? There are many people who love Disney characters, even the manufacturers do. There is Disney stuff everywhere — clothes, pillows, blankets, coloring books, notebooks, pens, tables, chairs, and more! Kids love it so much. Sometimes, even adults do. What a beautiful life it is to do the activities of daily living while involving one’s favorite characters!
One parent writes about ongoing fights between girls who were quarrelling over their Disney cups and plates. The mom bought a lot of cups and plates with different Disney characters embedded or printed on them. So this mom has two girls who fight over who will use what Disney-character cup and plate when they eat. There seems to be an unending argument about the matter every mealtime. Of course, as children will, as soon as one says they want a particular character, suddenly the other child has to have it. The mom just brought these things because she knew that her daughters would love them; however, after the arguments ensued, she probably thinks it was a big mistake.
9 Work It Out On Your Own
There is a mom who got tired of dealing with her little boys and their arguments. There came a time when her husband was out of town leaving her alone with the boys. She wanted to try something new for the week, and she finally decided that she would let her boys fight and work things out on their own to teach them a lesson. Of course, she was supervising in case of an emergency.
After a while however, she found her one son with a bloody lip. He was a bit wounded. The mom couldn’t figure out exactly what happened or who was at fault because they were blaming each other, but she didn’t interfere. She just cleaned up the boy’s wound and watched them. The experiment continued for the week, and a lot of fights happened. At the end of the week, she asked her children about the experience. The older one said that they weren’t really fighting. They were cool. They are brothers. The younger one said that he feels that his mom let the older one be mean to him. The mom realized that no matter how much they fight, they still find their way to love each other. However, it seemed that the boys didn’t learn anything from the experience.
8 Hit Him Until He’s Dead
A parent reported that he asked a doctor about the behavior of his older child. This parent tried to educate himself about being prepared for the possible rivalry between the older and the younger one. When the wife gave birth to the second child, the couple thought that everything’s okay and the older one seemed to accept his brother. There was no jealousy issue that is arising in the older brother.
However, when the younger one became almost 2-years old, things started to change. The older boy began to be rude physically and hurting his brother. For example, when the younger one held a book of the older one, and accidentally dropped it, the older one would get angry and start hitting his brother. He told his parents that he won’t stop hitting his brother until he’s dead. There were times that he seemed to be hugging the younger one, but he was actually squeezing him to hurt him. This raised concerns for the parents, and the doctor advised that the parents should have a good talk with their 4-year-old child about being accepting of his younger sibling and not hurting people.
7 He Wants Another Mom
Jealousy issues must be strong with this one. As soon as the baby girl came home, the little boy’s attitude became extremely jealous. His mom finds it hard to handle anymore. Many times, he would throw away his sister’s toys and would shout at her. Besides being rude to the little girl, he also talks impolitely with his mom. The mom is afraid that if she can’t correct his attitude now, he will grow to have bad attitudes even to relatives and others.
The mom wanted to let the boy feel he still has a place in the family, so she spent one-on-one moments every night with him at bedtime. However, nothing improved. It came to the point when the boy told his mom that he wanted a different mother. When the boy said this, the mom’s heart broke. She is so frustrated with the little boy’s attitude. She hates it when he doesn’t speak nicely to her and hurts his baby sister; however, this mom also doesn’t want to be a yelling mom. She’s confused about how to deal with this behavior and obviously needs to seek psychological counselling for the child.
6 That Bite Mark
A concerned mom wrote about her 3-year-old son hurting her 9-month-old daughter. Once, when she was washing the dishes, she heard a loud cry from both of her children. She was confused and didn’t know what had happened because both of them were hysterical. Her daughter scratched her son’s face, and that made the son cry, which in turn made the daughter cry…that’s what she thought. However, when she looked closer at the situation, she found out that there was a bite mark on her daughter’s shoulder.
The mom tried her best to talk with the son about being nice to his sister. She was pleading with him not to scare his sister off. Yet, most of the time, when he is not being nice to his sister, he cries as if he’s the one who is hurt. The sister, however, likes her brother. She follows him around, and her face lights up when she sees her brother. Likewise, the son likes his sister. He gives her hugs and kisses. It’s just most of the time he hurts her. By the way, the mom mentioned that the son has oral fixation issues that he likes putting things in his mouth and biting things.
5 How About Choking?
One mom shared her experience with the issues with her 5-year-old daughter against her 1-year-old daughter. The moment the younger child was brought home, the older child got jealous. When the older child was attending school her attention was kind of diverted. However, after school ended, the older child got more and more jealous. The mom thought that with her older child being at home, she realized that a lot of attention was being given to the younger one.
This became a concern to the mom when the older child choked her sister not once, not twice, but thrice. She also began to lie to her mom about it. The mom knew that during the first incident, the older child was aggravated by the younger one. However, for the second and third time, the mom knew that there was no reason. She asked her child about the reason for doing it, and she answered that the younger one makes her mad and that it was fun doing it. The mom is very worried and rightly so.
4 Face On The Floor
Here is another story about jealousy over a newborn baby. One mother states that ever since her little sister has been born, the older child has been very difficult to deal with. She seeks attention from her parents. Whenever the baby is carried around by her mom, she’s asking her to put her down and hug her. Everything was not going well. One day, the mom went out of the room to do something, leaving the older kid with the baby. When she came back, she saw the baby’s face on the floor. The older kid admitted that she tipped her sister’s chair and apologized.
No matter that she admitted her behavior was wrong, nothing seemed to change in her attitude. She’s still has the attention-seeking and rude attitude towards her sister and her parents. Outside, with the other people or in her school, she’s acts alright. The mom has never received a report about her daughter having a bad behavior in school. It’s just with her family. The mom isn’t sure what to do and feels like a total failure as a mom.
3 Warring Twins
This mom stated her experience with raising twins. She had fraternal boy-girl twins, which are currently teenagers. During the times when they were little, the mom did her best to discipline them. There were moments when they had to be separated because they fought so much. She didn’t want them to hit each other, but if they did, she would implement time out.
Usually, the fight between the twins would occur during mealtime or naptime. Eventually, the mom just had enough. She created a “toy jail,” which may sound funny, but she began to use it to discipline the children. Whenever the twins would fight over a toy, she would place the toy inside the toy jail. It would stay there for the whole day, and no one was allowed to take it out. With that, the twins learned to share their toys or easily take turns. The funny idea worked like a charm! What a smart mom!
2 Identical Twins
Sibling fights often continue through the years. One mom talks about her identical twins that are already in their 20s. The mom mentioned that her boys were the most horrible twins she has ever known. Before having them, she thought that twins were kind to each other and love one another; however, her boys seemed to be the opposite. Instead, it seemed they were trying to kill each other since age 5. When they got older, they were involved in so a lot of fist fights and didn’t seem to help each other during fights.
She considers her sons “bipolar,” which she admits is rude of her to think. After many years, still, there were no changes in their relationship, and this mom is frustrated. Before, she tried to help her sons to love each other, but nothing seemed to work out. She is in desperate need for someone to help her sons.
1 Asperger’s Syndrome
This situation is shared by a mom with her son who hurts his sibling. This child has a condition called Asperger’s syndrome. Asperger syndrome is a lifetime condition and cannot be cured. It is related to autism. With this, people affected will have a different view of the world. They have mental health issues. The majority have average or above average intelligence, but they apparently suffer from a kind of sensory overload that causes them to withdraw from their surroundings.
A mom shared her experience about dealing with her son who has this condition. He is 10-years old and hurts the younger daughter most every day. This is quite unusual and she hasn’t found a reason for his behavior. People with Asperger’s are very rarely aggressive. That’s why she is wondering why her son bullies his younger sister whenever given the opportunity and was looking for other moms in similar situation.