Life with a toddler can be unpredictable, to say the least! Their boundary-testing knows no limits, which can lead to situations that are equal parts hilarious and maddening. Toddlers don’t seem to understand what makes something gross—probably because they can’t grasp the concept of “germs.”
Personal safety? What’s that? They are willing to take on any challenge without any fear of danger. Not to mention bodily functions—and most people think baby spit up is gross? Wait until the pee and poop of the toilet-training toddler years! Plus, as any parent can attest to, toddlers say the funniest things.
And the messes. Oh, the messes.
But it turns out, there are biological reasons toddlers are the way they are. Toddlers aren’t trying to create chaos, but they are trying to explore their world. Sometimes that means they wonder, “Hm, what will happen if I run around with this bag over my head,” or, “I’m curious, what will it look like if I crack this egg on the floor?”
So the origin of their craziness might not be as diabolical as you think, even when they’re acting like little devils.
Still, that doesn’t make it any easier when they’re tearing the room apart or running amok in public. But if mom lets her tiny terrorist get under her skin and drive her up the wall, she’ll never make it through a day without sobbing in the the bathroom (probably while her kid is drawing on the wall in the other room). The solution? Mom has to laugh about it, just like these moms did.
15 Toddler Plays With Ball Of Cat Poop
You know that feeling when you realize your toddler is being a little too quiet? That’s when you have to worry. Mom Kortnee found that our the hard way! “So this ‘ball’ is what my daughter played with for two hours, before the momma realized what it was made of,” she wrote on Facebook.
“She had taken the pooper scooper, scooped the bottom of the litter box, and made herself a ‘ball,’ which was mainly comprised of cat litter and cat urine!” Eww, that is really disgusting! But to a kid, it was just like Play-doh!
“Needless to say, this is the best litter I've ever bought, because that urine/litter ball held together for over two hours and had the consistency of a super bouncy ball!” Kornee says. So she actually bounced it on the ground—that means the whole house is contaminated. Yuck! Stock up on the super-litter, Kortnee—just don’t let your daughter get a hold of it again!
14 Kid Pees Wherever He Wants
The joys of toilet training. It seems like it should be easy to teach kids how to use the potty, but the problem is that toddlers can’t grasp the concept of where is OK to go—and where isn’t, as mom April learned. “When I told my kid, ‘The world is your oyster,’ he heard, ‘The world is your toilet,’” she wrote on her blog, First Time Mom and Dad.
“If we are outside, in the backyard, the park, the zoo...The kid will whip his little fire hose out and announce he has to pee, then does it!” OMG, that is not just gross but embarrassing to boot! Public urination is never a good idea.
So how did this start? “You let your kid pee in the backyard one time, and he thinks peeing outside is the greatest thing, ever!” April says. “I'm going to have to thank [hid dad] for this one. I suppose I should be happy he didn't let Ollie crap in the backyard. Yet.” Not surprisingly, dads are often the ones encouraging their children to be gross—men can be like children themselves, amirite?
13 Toddler Cracks Eggs On The Floor
Kids try to be so helpful. You want to encourage them, but it’s hard when every other cry of “I do it!” leads to a big mess. For mom Laura, her son’s fascination with food led to a picture-worthy moment. “One of his favorite places to help is in the kitchen,” she wrote on her blog, Modern Piioneer Mom.
“He’s been ‘helping’ me with cooking since he was tiny. Fortunately, now he knows how to crack eggs without making the mess that he made here at age two and a half!” That’s good, because this huge mess is just perfect for spreading salmonella!
Cleaning up after this would definitely involve a bath, a load of laundry, mopping the floor and washing the rug—all to let him explore his interest in cooking. But maybe it paid off? “He invented a little game called ‘Recipes,’” Laura says. “He comes up with meal ideas that sound yummy (interesting food combinations!) and we discuss the ideas…but we don’t often actually cook them!” That’s probably for the best!
12 Toddler Mocks Nanny’s Road Rage
File this one under “kids say the darndest things”! What toddler hasn’t climbed into the front seat of a parked car and pretended to drive? That in itself is a cute, Facebook-worthy moment. But for mom Darcy and dad David, they got some road rage to go along with the pretend driving.
“Tucker climbs into the driver’s seat and pretends to ‘drive,’” Darcy wrote on her blog, So Then...Stories. “He waves to us and says, ‘Look everybody! I’m Remy!’ (our nanny). And with that, he puts one hand on the steering wheel, beeps the horn loudly, and shouts in a Hispanic accent, ‘Hey, HEY, STUPIDO!”’ Then he collapses into giggles.
David and I look at each other…pause…then burst into laughter.
It’s the kind of thing where you know you shouldn’t laugh, but you can’t help it! “We are equal parts delighted that our toddler’s already doing comedic impressions at such a young age—and equal parts horrified that our nanny’s roadside manner is not as courteous as we had thought,” Darcy says.
“When hiring our bilingual nanny, whom we adore because she’s awesome—we had hoped she might teach our son some Spanish words…but, uh…this isn’t exactly what we had in mind!”
11 Toddler With Bag Over Head Runs Into Chair
I know yall are prob tired of us for the night but this just happened and it's so wrong but hilarious at the same time. She just learned hide and seek so she's always begging someone to count.... wonder if she'll do it again after tonight 😂😂😂 She was completely fine btw. And why didn't Camden help her? 😡 #Siblings #Toddlers #ToddlersDoingTheMost #ToddlerMishaps #HideAndSeek
Kids universally love hide and seek—for some reason, they just can’t get enough of this game. What else do toddlers like to do? Put things on their head. One adorable tot decided to combine the two and “hide” by putting a bag over her head! If that weren’t silly enough, once her mom finishes counting to ten, she lifts up the bag to reveal herself, then puts it back over her eyes and starts running away!
Her mom warns her, “You can’t see where you’re going!” but it’s too late. She runs into a chair and falls to the ground as her brother looks on.
“It’s so wrong but hilarious at the same time,” mom Fantasia wrote on Instagram. “She just learned hide and seek so she's always begging someone to count....Wonder if she'll do it again after tonight. She was completely fine btw. And why didn't Camden help her?” Older brothers!
10 Working Out With Toddler = Extra Resistance
Moms know there is just no getting a workout in when your toddler is around. Why is it that as soon as you start exercising, your little one decides it’s the perfect time to hang all over you? Although, you could think of it as extra resistance to make your workout harder.
Not getting a workout in can be especially frustrating when you are just trying to lose the extra weight this kid made you gain when you were pregnant. Fitness expert Victoria Schwambach can totally relate, so she decided to go ahead and work out in her toddler’s bedroom.
“And sometimes you lock your kid on his room with you with a snack and toys while you try to bust out your 30 minute workout,” she posted on Facebook. So how’d it go? “Hey, it worked! This was the best workout I've gotten done EVER while TJ was awake. Besides when he was an infant...that doesn't count!” It was definitely easier before they could move around.
9 Toddler Peels All The Bananas
Another thing that can drive you nuts about toddlers is all the wasting of food! “It’s not hilarious yet but I'm sure some day we will laugh our butts off,” mom Elizabeth wrote online. “Our two-year-old daughter came into the living room pushing her baby stroller with her favorite stuffed animal in it.
My husband looked over at the bottom of the stroller and let out a big sigh, ‘OHHHH LEAH!!’ to which I replied, ‘What? Why does it smell like bananas in here?' I looked over at the stroller and she had patiently unpeeled every banana in the house—which was six of them—and laid them neatly side by side on the bottom of the stroller.” Wonder where she left all the peels?
And ugh, what a waste! But Elizabeth made the best of it “We made banana raisin bran muffins,” she says. Hope they were yummy!
8 Socks On Trampoline: This Is Why Mom Can’t Do Laundry With Her Toddler
This is exactly why it’s next to impossible to get any housework done when toddlers are around. If you’re putting clothes in the washer, they’re taking them out. If you’re folding clothes, they’re unfolding them. Everything takes twice as long! Of course they want to help, and as parents we should encourage that, but sometimes you just want to get something done.
Mom Christina learned this firsthand when she tried to have a productive Sunday doing laundry. After managing to get the clothes folded, she asked her daughter to help put them away. “‘Daniela, lets put all the socks in the draw,’” she wrote on Facebook. How did her daughter answer? “‘No mommy, they go on the trampoline!’”
But instead of getting mad, Christina just decided to roll with it. “LOL, OK sure, I guess I will just have a showcase of socks in her room!” she says. That’s a good way to look at it!
7 Toddler Mistakenly Curses
One thing you learn with a toddler is you have to watch your language around them, because they will repeat everything you say—and that especially includes swear words. But sometimes, they can curse without even meaning to! “One day I noticed my 21-month-old son spinning in circles going, ‘asses, asses,’” one mom wrote online.
“I was concerned and told my husband, ‘I think he's learning bad language somewhere but I have no idea where.’”
Can you guess what he was meaning to say? “I then saw him do this circle spinning saying the same thing another time and he ended by falling down. It wasn't until then that I realized he was doing ‘Ring Around the Rosie’ and saying ‘ashes, ashes,’ and then falling down!” So funny—because toddlers are still learning to talk, they can’t pronounce certain sounds like “sh” very well, so “ashes” becomes “asses”!
6 Toddler Calls 911
Toddlers love the phone—even if you get a toy one, guaranteed they will still want to play with the real one! But that can lead to some unexpected consequences if they actually manage to call someone. “A few weeks ago I was making lunch, and someone knocked on the door,” one mom posted online.
“I just thought it was the mailman dropping off an expected package. I was quite surprised when I opened the door to see a policeman. He said, ‘Someone called 911 from this house. The operator said it sounded like a baby on the phone.’ Sure enough, the cordless was off the hook and laying on the ground, where my son had been playing earlier.” Whoops!
Thankfully the policeman wasn’t mad, even though it was a total waste of his time. “Needless to say, we don’t let our son play with the phone anymore!” she says. Good idea!
5 Why Sleep On A Bed When The Floor Is So Comfortable?
I can totally relate to this story. We have a toddler bed for my son complete with dinosaur comforter, soft pillows and stuffed animals. But does he sleep there? Of course not! Well, he starts out the night in his bed, but somewhere around midnight he gets up and goes to sit in his anywhere chair, where he sleeps the rest of the night.
The chair is soft foam, but still, why? Who knows. He won’t answer when you ask him.
So, mom Abigail’s story is familiar. “Sometime after I put Samantha to bed, she decided that she wanted to sleep on the floor,” she says. “She actually spread a blanket out on the floor, put her stuffed animals on it, took another blanket out of the closet, and covered herself with it.”
That is determination! It boggles the mind how sleeping on the floor or in a chair can possibly be comfortable, but toddlers make up their own rules.
4 Toddler In The Toilet
Sometimes the gross parts of toilet training don’t even include pee or poop. Toddlers just don’t have a sense of why things are germy. To them, toilet water is just water—they don’t think about what’s been in there before! Mom Karen found this out when she came across her son fully in the bowl.
“My 18-month-old son went missing in the house,” she says on YouTube. “I asked his two-year-old sister, ‘Where’s your brother?” She responded, ‘He’s in the bathroom.’ I went to the bathroom and this is what I found!”
In the video, the tot says, “I’m taking a shower!” Too funny! After posting it online, Karen took some flack for recording her son instead of helping him out, but she says it was all in good fun. While this was a harmless situation, toilets can be a drowning hazard if a toddler goes in head-first, so if you’re little one is prone to the porcelain throne, keep the seat down and get a toilet lock.
3 Toddler Climbs Fridge To Get To Snack
Although this doesn’t look exactly safe, one dad couldn’t resist recording his daughter’s climbing maneuvers. “I’ve been told that she’s like a ‘mini-Spiderman,’” he wrote on YouTube. “She did this all by herself this afternoon.” Super impressive! Her goal? Some snacks that were on top of the fridge.
While you can’t help but be amazed by this girl’s skills, is this the kind of behavior a parent should encourage? It’s a fine line—in some respects, you want your child to be fearless and ambitious, to see a goal and do whatever it takes to reach it. Who knows, maybe she’ll be a future Olympian. On the other hand, eek!
Fridges aren’t meant to be climbed, and she could have fallen—but then again, she could have fallen from the top of a jungle gym, too. Fridges are probably too heavy to tip over, but if you have a monkey, make sure your climbable furniture is bolted to the wall.
2 Toddler Sneaks Into Elevator, Mom Gets Hurt Running Upstairs To Catch Her
This story is a doozy! It’s every parent’s worst nightmare to be unintentionally separated from their child. “We were in line waiting for the elevator when my daughter decides to pull away and run into the elevator at the last second,” one mom wrote online.
“I'm moving as fast as I can to get in or get her out, but the door closes before I get there. Immediate panic happens. This is it, she's going to get kidnapped, or we're going to have some weird Home Alone office edition going on where my toddler wanders around this office building.”
“I figure my best chance to get back to her is to run upstairs before the elevator can get to the second floor, and push the button or hope it stops there,” she says. “I am sprinting up the stairs full speed. I didn't notice the small puddle of water on the stairs until my foot slips and I fall all the way down the stairs."
"I'm hurt, but my baby is somewhere in this building without me. So I go back up the stairs holding my arm (which hurts a ton) until I make it to the second floor. I'm lucky, some lady had see my panic-stricken face and waited for me with my toddler on the second floor.”
But that’s not the end of the story! “When I approach the lady with my baby her eyes get really wide. She asks me if I'm OK. She’s staring at my face, which feels really hot. I touch my forehead, and there is blood. Blood makes me feel sick, so I throw up on my own shoes! When I lean over to throw up, I get light headed and pass out.” No way!
“I come to and the lady is calling the police,” she says. “I have to leave with my daughter in an ambulance because I have a minor concussion, a bleeding head wound, and apparently a broken wrist.” That is the craziest story ever, all because a toddler decided to take an unaccompanied elevator ride!
1 Toddler Covers Brother In Peanut Butter
Once in a while, a story is so hilarious it just goes viral, which was the case with the “peanut butter baby.” Mom Gina explains how it all happened while she was out of the room for a few minutes. “I used the downstairs bathroom to do my hair and makeup that day so I could be closer to my two toddlers as they played,” she wrote on her blog, Happy Accidents.
“I could hear them laughing, no worries! Then, I walked into the kitchen to get them ready. To my shock and surprise, those two were sitting on the table and Ethan was covered in peanut butter. I had never seen anything like it!”
What’s a mom to do besides record it? “It was a mess, but I knew I wanted to remember it. How else would I accurately describe this picture of my day to my husband?” she says. After cleaning her son up, “we arrived late and poor Ethan still had a little peanut butter goop in his eye. After class, my friend was concerned that Ethan might have pink eye.
I laughed, told her it was just peanut butter!” After she shared the video on Facebook, it went viral!