Dads, is the wife really a bad mom or does she just need a break? We all need a place to vent, and Whisper is a cathartic place to do it with no repercussions and no real solutions.
Do dads feel heard after posting on Whisper? Or is it the release that they really need? Are they like a little Catholic school boy, kneeling with his fingers crossed in prayer position, hoping that their confessions will make everything right in the world?
Or are they just out there on the internet looking for someone to connect with because they feel disconnected?
I don’t know what the answer is but I can guarantee that if dads feel disconnected so does their wife. She may be trying her best to keep things running smoothly but she is not superwoman.
If dads think their partner sucks as a mom than you are part of the problem. Men, love your women even when they may not be at their best. If you are keen enough to see an area where she needs improvement, offer her support in that area.
These guys reveal their perceptions of their wife’s weaknesses but maybe they are the ones who need to take a good long hard look in the mirror.
20 Playing With Fire
Did your wife really let the 9-year-old play with the lighter because she didn’t want to deal with him? The answer to that question we will never know.
Did the 9-year-old get his hands on the lighter while his mother was off doing something other than supervising him? That seems more like it. As for the carpet getting burned, that’s sad. It’s obviously punishment worthy.
The wife may not admit to any wrongdoing but if she’s lying about how her son got the lighter, why stop there. Sounds like this woman has had it and needs a break. Send her to a spa, get her the deluxe package, get off her back for not watching the kid like a hawk 24/7 and use this as a teachable moment for your child.
No one is perfect and mistakes are made. If she ultimately did give the kid the lighter, then psychological help and a nanny are encouraged.
19 Hungry Babies
Everyone has a different parenting styles but the whole “cry it out” method is not my cup of tea.
If a baby is screaming for 3 hours something is obviously wrong. Way to go to this Dad who is listening to his intuition, standing his ground, and doing what’s right for his babies. “Undermining her as a mother?” Nope.
Sounds like you are stepping up to the plate and loving your babies while your wife is neglecting them. Talking to your pediatrician about these crying spells and how to deal with them may be beneficial for both. So, schedule a family doctor appointment for the little rug rats and hash it out with a professional.
18 Using The Kids As A Shield
More and more I hear about parents of young children having their kids sleep in the bed with them.
It’s just easier to take care of them that way when they are young. Some men who aren’t assisting with the nightly feedings and changings might not realize this. Safety precautions need to be made so that no one rolls on top of baby and smothers her though.
All I can say is that there is more than one time you can have sex. You don’t need to wait until bedtime. You could sneak off for a quickie while the girls are occupied with Peppa the Pig. There are also other places besides the bedroom where couples can get it on.
Wait until the girls fall asleep then pick a private location where you can be intimate. Get up early and take care of the morning wood. Ultimately, where there’s a will, there’s a way.
17 When Mom Can't Handle The Stress
Your wife is not cut out to be a mother well too bad. She is not only a mother but the mother of your children.
I bet one thing that’s not helping her handle the stress is your degrading criticism. Sure, being a mother is stressful and newsflash Daddy many, many, many of us moms are stressed and lose our composure sometimes and yell at our kids.
If your wife upsets you, try finding ways to help her destress and decompress. A little S&M in the bedroom maybe? As mothers we are in charge of a lot all of the time so some of us find a little consensual S&M to be a fun way to let go. This gives women the chance to totally surrender in the moment and let go.
If she’s truly doing that bad of a job raising the kids maybe you should talk to her about socializing the children at daycare. The idea that you want to stay home and raise the kids and are bashing your wife screams out jealousy. If you want to stay at home with the kids, make it happen.
16 The Good And The Bad
Seriously, each parent takes their roles.
You are obviously more of a disciplinarian than your wife is or else she would be the more dominant parent. We naturally step up where our strengths lie. If your kid hates baths let him skip them for a few nights until his butt starts itching because it’s filthy then let him make the decision to take a bath. Just Kidding.
Try some creative new approaches. Bath tube art is a fun one. Another good time is the animals stuffed into the capsules that expand in water. How about those wash clothes that are packaged up in super tiny shapes and the unfold when they are left in water for a while?
If you think you are a bad Dad, that’s on you. Bath time can be a great bonding time if you make it fun. Discipline sure isn’t fun but it can also be an opportunity to bring you and your child closer depending on how you handle it.
15 The Social Media Facade
Ah yes, the good old, “my ex is such a horrible person.”
How many times do we hear divorced men talk about their crazy ex and how she is horrible because she doesn’t act the way he wants her to? If she is treating your kids horribly, my apologies.
If it’s that bad, call Children and Youth Services. If she is your ex, she is most likely spending time with the kids independent of you so how would you know she treats your children terribly.
Even if she used to treat your kids in a way that you found terrible when you were together it doesn’t mean that she still acts that way now. Are you relying on the reports of the children? Maybe they feel bad for you and are telling you what you want to hear.
Yeah, I bet she makes everything look happy go lucky on Facebook…who doesn’t?
14 Right From Wrong
What a betrayal of the vows you took the day you got married.
Did you not vow to love and honor this woman forever? Is calling her a horrible mother your way of thanking her for carrying your children inside of her body, pushing them out of her vagina, and putting her heart and soul into raising them? Does she yell at the kids when they are doing the chores wrong?
Maybe that’s how she was taught. Maybe she needs you to teach her by example. Why don’t you step in and show the kids how to do things right next time there is a conflict? Give your wife a break and tell her, “I’ve got this one babe.” I’m sure she’d be grateful for the break.
13 The Stay At Home Dad
That’s cool that you are expressing your needs for attention and love on Whisper.
Now, let’s dig down deep and find that courage to express these needs to the person who can actually provide them for you. You wish your wife could make more time to love you?
When we are in love we love each other all of the time, whether they are with us or at work while we are at home. Is it truly more love that you desire or is it something else, like intimacy? Have you ever thought about the fact that if you weren’t staying at home maybe your wife wouldn’t have to work so much?
There are also many work from home opportunities that are popping up left and right. Finally, if you have a penis and testicles hanging in between your legs you will never know how women feel.
12 When Privacy Goes Out The Window
What kind of twisty perverts would do this?
So, you think your wife’s a bad parent because she lets your kid watch you have sex. Yeah that makes you both bad parents. There are jail cells with your names on them just waiting for the day when your daughter spills the beans and gets to start a normal life with a family who understands the word privacy.
It’s not like these people are living in a little village where multiple people share a room because they have to, and oops once in a while someone may get caught. These are two consenting adults teaching their daughter that sexually violating a minor is okay.
Yuck! I feel for that poor daughter and all of the children out there who are exposed to such filth.
11 How To Deal
Screaming and snapping… let’s stop with all the hate because it’s getting us nowhere.
This dad should listen to himself hard, “I hate how my wife deals with the kids”… is the mom (your partner) "dealing" with the kids or raising them?
If you don’t like the screaming and snapping than why doesn't he just tell her? Offer a suggestion for a better way to "deal" with the children. Offer an alternative parenting method. Be her rock.
When she loses her cool remind her that she’s still got it. When she screams remind her screaming is saved strictly for the bedroom. Don’t let her get to the point of snapping. Isn’t this why we pair up anyway?
10 The Weaker One
If you think your wife is week as a mother why don’t you fill in, in the areas that you feel she has weaknesses?
We all have our strengths and weaknesses and isn’t marriage about finding someone you love, who will accept your weaknesses, and balance you out? Worry does no good and helps no one. If your children grow up and don’t respect you then it’s not fair to put that lack of respect on your wife.
We can’t control anyone’s feelings except our own so if gaining and maintaining your children’s respect is important to you then maybe you should make it a priority to raise your kids to be respectful. You can lead by example.
9 No Girly Things Allowed
Yeah I agree with this guy.
Kids like what they like and as long as it is age appropriate there’s no harm in supporting their likes and dislikes. Your wife might need a gentle reminder that kids want what they can’t have. If she really doesn’t want her daughter to be girly she should make her life pinkatastic like Pinkalicious.
One day she will get burnt out on all the girly and find a healthy middle ground. If she’s just a girly girl than she will feel loved and accepted for who she is and what she likes. Kids are who they are whether or not you let them have the girly things. Not accepting our children’s interest’s is not accepting them.
As far as this wife’s opposition to the girly stuff maybe the motivation behind that needs to be explored. We all want to be accepted for who we are. Acceptance and tolerance for others starts in the home.
8 When The Kids Don't Want To Go
That's funny that this guy's wife forced him to go to church. That’s funny that this guy’s wife forced him to go to church. Grow a pair fella.
This guy wasn’t forced to go to church. What did his wife do, drug him, drag him into the house of the Lord, then set him next to her on the pew? This whole topic of religion needs to be discussed before the wedding because later in life it often becomes an important part of people’s lives.
I was raised Catholic and I remember having to go to church every morning until I was 16. I loathed it. The reason I got to stop going was because I learned how to drive and said I was going to church while I actually went to a park or visited my grandparents instead.
7 The Cheating Wife
NOOOOOOOO! DO NOT LET YOUR WIFE INFECT YOU WITH HER STD’S.
Your health is one of the most important things in your life because if you are not healthy it affects all other areas of your life.
Sounds like you and your son got the short end of the stick here. It sucks that your wife is cheating and you are the only one who can decide whether or not you will tolerate it. Think about the life you want your son to have and figure out if your vision will be possible under your current circumstances.
Should you leave her? That’s up to you but if you do want to leave her consult a child and family law attorney so that you can make sure your son gets the loving time and attention from his father that he deserves.
6 The Single Dad
Are you her husband or her worst enemy?
If you are her husband skip the judgement pal and try working with her to create the co-parenting relationship that you want. Our kids don’t come with manuals.
As parents we listen to others, we read books, but mostly we just make this stuff up as we go. We do our best. You know what helps us to do our best? Is to have someone who has our back. If you feel like a single Dad take matters into your own hands.
You are not single so stop wallowing in pity feeling bad for yourself and find a way to connect with wife. Stop drawing away. Draw her in. Do your part in making your family complete.
5 It's Not Always His Fault
Being a mother is just too over whelming for some women.
During pregnancy we go through so many changes and this is just the tip of the iceberg. If we have already decided to have the tot, we know that we can’t jump ship until the baby is born. We are all different and who knows why this woman left her man and her newborn but she may not have felt a connection with the baby.
Maybe she fell out of love with the child’s father. She could have resented the baby for changing the dynamic of the relationship between the Mom and Dad. Or maybe she just knew in her heart of hearts that she didn’t have what it takes to be a mom. Some women are not cut out to be mothers. Some women don’t want to give up their freedom.
Sometimes the mother messes up.
4 Mom Keeps The Pain Going
This dad confessed he is deeply saddened that his wife "doesn't care" about him or their children, and asks the internet why he lets this woman hurt him so much.
Well, first off, it's understandable that he is affected by his wife's actions. She is his wife after all AND the mother of his children. If he was indifferent, I'd be a bit concerned. But, if he's true in his claims that she doesn't care for the children, then it's his duty as a father to either confront her about her actions or change his children's environment.
This would make both mommy and daddy "bad" parents. Mom for not caring and dad for allowing the kids to be exposed to such treatment.
3 Sad For The Kids
This dad seems heartbroken, confessing to the world that he is sad his wife wont fix their problems and would rather walk away and let their marriage die.
Of course, anyone can understand the pain he must be feeling, and no doubt it will be sad for the kids who will have to live through their parent's divorce BUT if mom is done well... she's done.
You can't stop a pipe leak with tape, and sometimes it's better mom and dad to live apart.
It would probably be a lot worse for the kids if they had to live in a household where their parents were constantly fighting. This would be a hostile environment no child should have to grow up in.
This dad might think his wife is a bad mom for this but in the future, if she does end up leaving him, he'll come to realize it was the best decision she could have made.
2 Bad Mommy
Wow! Does this dad have a video surveillance system set up at their home so that he can monitor his wife’s mothering and parenting methods during the day?
If you are not there you have no clue how well she is parenting the children during the day. By the time you get back from work she is probably completely exhausted but she keeps on going.
If you don’t think that your kids are being raised to your standards why don’t you help with the child rearing instead of moaning and groaning that your stay at home wife isn’t living up to your expectations.
1 Away From Their Father
This dad seems real pissed off, but who can blame him when his ex wife takes their sons and moves them away? And we can assume without his full consent.
Although this woman's actions doesn't necessarily mean she treats her kids like garbage (or has questionable parenting ethics), the fact that she would move her kids away and raise them without a father figure is questionable in itself.
Regardless of what happened in their relationship, if the this man isn't mentally or verbally abusive, and is sane enough for her to have married him, then she doesn't have the right to force this dad out of his sons' life.
Why punish the children for the problems a husband causes in the relationship?