Ask any parent and they will tell you that they deal with loads of crap coming from their children. We aren’t just talking teenagers here, with all the talking back, "borrowing" of cars, and nonstop begging for cash. This fun filled never-ending flow of crap starts very early on. Those sweet, super cute babies can have some major septic situations. From the blowouts, to the spills and leaks, not to mention the variety of colors and smells, it’s got to have some people wondering how these companies have the nerve to make the designs on the diapers so cute? Its false advertisement in its finest. Thomas the Train would never take a ride where those tracks are headed. Mickey and Minnie Mouse would not be dancing the night away and smiling so brightly if they knew what was hiding on the other side of that Pullup. And let's really get "Honest" here, all the flowers in the world couldn’t cover up the stink waiting inside those eco-friendly beauties.
Poop happens, it stinks, and it can get ugly and there is not one parent out there that can say they have never been surprised by what they found waiting inside, or sometimes even outside (yikes) of their child’s diaper. From newborn diapers filled with meconium, black gooey looking stuff, to the mustard seed grainy poop of a breastfed baby, diapers have no glory, it’s all gut. Here are 15 Diaper Disasters that will make you gag!
*(The names and identities of the babies have been changed to protect them from the fact that one day they will be older and their friends will have internet access).
15 Early A.M. Blowout (We Aren't Talking Hair...)
"My sweet daughter, *Ava, is only 4 months old, strictly breastfed, and pleasantly plump. She recently developed this terrible habit. Well, it’s really been going on for about 2 months now. At first it was on and off but now it’s like every day when I go into her room in the early morning hours she has made this terrible mess. There is poop everywhere. She poops so much that not only is her diaper filled but she always requires new clothes and even her sheets have to be changed. I have tried going in earlier but it’s like she's got me on video surveillance, because she's always finishing up when I enter her room. I even went up from a size 2 to 3 to try and contain the mess but it explodes out no matter what I do. I’ll be glad when this phase is over." -Madison
14 Hippie-Mom Vs. Cloth Diapers
“I consider myself a hippie-mom. I’m a vegan, baby wearing, breastfeeding, attachment bonding, co-sleeping momma. And recently I switched over to cloth diapers because even the eco-friendly ones seem wasteful to me. The first few days my son, Sky*, didn’t really poop, so it was kind of cool just taking out the little inserts and throwing everything in the wash. But then he pooped, big time, he filled two of those things in 35 minutes and I had to soak, then SCRAPE, then SCRUB, the disgusting mess off over the toilet. It was the worst. But I’m still not going back, although I do feel awful about all the rubber gloves I had to buy…” Janie
13 That’s Not Chocolate…
“I am a stay at home mom, I’m always super busy with the kids, and I never do anything for myself. So, when this new spa opened down the street I had to go. I asked my husband to watch the kids for like an hour, ok? I had such a blast finally having someone take care of me. When I got home my husband and my oldest son were playing video games, and my baby, *Tyler, was on the living room floor playing with his back to me. I was surprised he didn’t waddle right over to me like he usually does. As I got closer, I could see he was covered in what looked like chocolate. It was all over his hands and mouth and his shirt. That’s when I noticed his diaper was off and I got a whiff of the real deal. I screamed at my husband because how could he not notice our ‘chocolate covered’ baby sitting at his feet?!?” -Chelsea
“My daughter Heather* is about as regular as the Sunday paper when it comes to bowel movements. Every morning like clockwork, Heather wakes up, downs her bottle, eats a little ‘breakfast’ and poops. One morning as I finished my coffee I noticed she wasn’t making the usual scrunch red faced grunting, but I took her upstairs anyway to check. All I saw was one tiny turd. As I reached for the wipes, I joked around and covered my face with a clean diaper and leaned down and shouted peek-a-boo. She didn’t laugh so I tried harder. I covered my face with the diaper and as I removed it and leaned down to shout peek-a-boo, her bottom exploded with runny poop all over my face. It even got in my eyes. I have never scrubbed my skin so hard in a shower so hot in my life!” -Jackie
11 Like Something Out Of A Harry Potter Movie!
“I was so excited to become a dad. I promised my wife to help with everything. Getting up at night to feed Tanner*. Helping change his diapers. I was going to do it all. So, the second night at the hospital after he was born I had my chance to change my very first diaper. I was so scared because Tanner was so tiny and the diapers were so little. But I picked him up gently and laid him down and got ready. I kept one hand on his belly while I grabbed my supplies. So, when I opened his diaper, I was beyond shocked to see meconium (I guess) dribbling out of his bum. It was this black and bubbly tar looking goo. It didn’t seem like it should come out of my precious son, more like something ominous in a Harry Potter movie…” -Terrance
10 Bad Diaper Genie!
“I absolutely love my diaper genie! It makes our lives so much cleaner and better smelling. I have twin girls and they poop a lot. So, one day when I got back from a coffee run I noticed the door to the nursery was cracked open. Which is odd, because I always keep it shut. I have this crazy Jack Russell Terrier and I don’t want him tearing up the girls' room. Well, my worst nightmare had come true. My dog, Charlie* had not only destroyed their room, he somehow knocked over the diaper genie and had shredded dirty diapers and wipes everywhere. He also pooped and peep in several places too. I guess he figured if the girls could do their business in there then so could he. I searched the internet for a hazmat suit to clean the disgusting feces littered room but ended having my husband clean it in his painting clothes. Yuck, how gross to not know which species’ poop you are dealing with!” -Debra
9 Don't Lie To Me, Dad!
“All I wanted was a girl’s night out. I hadn’t really left the house in several months since I became a mom, because I didn’t really trust my husband to care for our daughter on his own. But finally, I gave in when he promised me he would take her to his mother’s for most of the night. I went out with my girls and we had such a fun time. When I got home, I was so happy to see my daughter was safe AND sound asleep. And she slept all night which was so not normal. I asked my husband what she ate and he said some baby food and a lot of milk. What a joke! I changed her huge poopy diaper later and found a bit more than Gerber’s. I saw raisins, his mother’s famous corn casserole, even whole edamame! The worst part was that it was all tinted light blue. I presented my husband with the evidence and he admitted his guilt, and even confessed he gave her a few sips of his Gatorade, at least that explains the blue…” -Courtney
8 Pretty In Pink
“I have three boys, so you can’t blame me for going all in when I finally had the girl I‘d been praying for. I never let her leave the house without a fabulous outfit and even bought us a couple of matching sets. So, one day, I had her totally decked out in a bedazzled pink getup. She was sporting a sparkly pink bow on her one lock of hair, a little pink vest over a pink little polka-dot dress, and even fleece lined pink tights! As we headed to my friends for a playdate I smelled the usual nastiness that meant she’d gone number two. When we arrived at our destination, I got her out of her car seat and noticed she had these weird lumps in the back of her tights. She'd had a major blowout and it leaked all down her legs with nowhere to go. She ended up taking a bath at her friends and wearing boy clothes the rest of the day…” -Naomi
7 Carpool Drowning
“I desperately wanted to be a bigger part in my stepdaughter Lilia’s* life, because ever since I had my son Evan* I hadn’t been able to spend much time with her as I had before. So, I was all over it when I heard her Ballet class’ carpool needed a new driver. I was so glad for my new minivan and thrilled to pack all the little beauties into the car alongside my baby boy on the first day. So as we headed off towards rehearsal everyone was in such a good mood. It was weird because at first the girls were all cooing and making faces at Lilia’s brother and then it turned into screams all at once. I eased the minivan off the highway and parked at a gas station. It turns out that Evan’s diaper had come undone in his shorts and a large amount of poop had dripped out of his diaper and down the side of his car seat onto one of the little girl’s legs. Her leotard and tights had splotches of muddy brown poop all over the front. Needless to say, we were a little late that day…” -Kaylie
6 Perfect Preparation Prevents Panic...
“I know I am not a perfect mom. But I aim to be prepared. I have three children all under 4 years old. So, I try to keep our baby bag filled with snacks, drinks, wipes, and various sizes of diapers and changes of clothes. One day, me and my brood were at the local library and the older kids asked me to read them a book. I pulled my littlest into my lap and began to read until I smelled a stinky nappy. So, I hustled everyone up, placed the baby in the carrier on my chest and I hurried toward the bathroom to see which one of my children was the culprit. I checked them all starting with the oldest. To my chagrin, it was the littlest and last one. He’d suffered a blowout which also explained why my chest had been feeling unusually warm. My blouse and even the top of my pants were splattered with 'baby loose juice.' So, after all that prep work, I’d forgotten the most important extra-set of clothes…Mine!” -Margie
5 He’s Choking!
“My sons are the best of buddies, even this early on. Conner* is two and a half, and Colton* is 18 months. They don’t mind sharing toys or snacks, and if one is in time-out the other will sit and wait! So, one day they were playing in their totally childproofed room while I was cleaning the kitchen. And Conner runs to tell me that his brother is choking. I run around the corner to see that Colton actually does seem to have something caught in his throat but that he is breathing. I gave him a second to work it out and sure enough after a moment he spits out a round little pebble. I am wondering where in the heck they found some rocks when I notice a tiny pile near their bookshelf. Conner who was potty training at the time has pooped and his brother was choking on his &#!@!” -Beth
4 Two For One
“Isaac* was not acting like his normal self. He'd just learned how to crawl and would usually be all over the house and the dog but this day was different. He was kind of just sitting around and wouldn’t even take a bottle. I knew he was sick when he pushed away from my breast too! I also noticed he felt warm, so I ran a luke-warm bath to try and cool him off. I avoid medications unless I can’t figure out another way to make him feel better. So, as I am letting him chill out in the tub, he starts to giggle and wiggle like normal and I figure the bath worked. I pick him up and go to grab his little duckie bath robe and I feel this wetness and warmth pouring all down my t-shirt in the back and the front. It turns out Isaac has pooped and vomited all over me at the very same time.” -Anna
3 It's Getting Hot In Here!
“The first time my son got ill I got really nervous because he had never been sick before. I put my hand to his head and it felt hot as a preheated oven. I immediately phoned the doctor's office and the nurse told me to check his temperature to see if he needed to come in right away or maybe wait it out and see. She told me I should check his temperature rectally to get the best reading and call back if needed, so as soon as hung up, I ran to the kitchen to grab the thermometer. I removed his diaper and as soon as I stuck the tip of the thermometer in his you-know-what thick brownish yellow poop came pouring out covering my fingers and the most of the thermometer. His temperature turned out to be lower than I expected but I had to clean off the screen before I could read it.” -Hannah
2 Umm...That’s Not Supposed To Happen...
“When our son was about 13 weeks old he quit popping. It was as if he went on a poop strike. I tried not to worry, but still scheduled an appointment for my son about day 11 of the strike. That same night I rubbed my sons back and belly, and rotated his fat little legs as if he was on a bicycle. Sure enough, poop began to flow. I called my husband in for back up because I had not expected so much to come out. My husband ran in and it continued to gush out our son. My husband who has a weak stomach looked terrified which I guess caused our son to laugh and well, some of the "commotion" flew up onto my husband’s lip. I tried not laugh and all I could say was 'this doesn't usually happen'. So, basically that's why my husband quit helping change diapers when my son was only 3 months old and I don't really didn’t blame him" -Carol
1 5 Karat... Gold?
This disgusting poop story makes it to number three on our list and the baby isn’t even real. Were you aware that there is a doll, that people actually buy, for their children that poops magical jewelry? No, seriously! For the unbelievably low price of 130 bucks you and your child can feed this odd doll a variety of special softened clay-like food, turn a dial on it's back, push a button on its belly and then after it sits on the potty (that comes with purchase) you lift it up, and surprise! There’s a colorful piece of poop "jewelry." I don’t know about you, but many of us are already dealing with enough poop as it is. The kid's poop, the dog's poop, our own poop, sometimes even the husband's poop if he's sick... That's enough. We don't need anymore crap, literally.
Source: Healthy Children