Ah, yes, kids and their curiosity. This is a classic trait of children, which can absolutely be adorable and terrifying at the same time. Do note that, as parents and guardians of our adorable tots, we must also be aware of the fact that when their innate inquisitiveness is at a peak, we play a crucial role in shaping their young minds
So, do your best to pay attention to your kids’ arduous questions, especially if they’re ALL about the birds and the bees. Here are 15 different ways to talk to your child about grown up stuff, like the dreaded word: SEX!
“Mommy, Daddy, how do people make babies?” is just about one of the most dreaded questions that most of us parents hope and pray our kids won’t bring up until they’re old enough. Unfortunately, this situation is unavoidable, and kids these days simply won’t stop asking until they get some answers.
Do you know the best way to answer your children’s early questions about sex? By not being nervous, awkward or embarrassed. Be cool, calm and composed, even if you’re screaming on the inside.
Depending on the age of your child, your answer could be something like, “A part of Daddy and Mommy got together and became a baby,” as a precursor to what private parts are, how they work and how sex is done. Remember, you gain your kids’ trust effortlessly if they know that they can talk to you about anything.
Never ever dismiss this conversation as something silly or inconsequential. By doing so, you might become the very reason that could send your kid’s knowledge of sex (up until their adulthood) right out the window. Hang in there and take time to address your child’s queries, no matter how uncomfortable they are. Don’t know how to do that? Read on!
Take good note of this if you want to raise good, bright and clever kids. Always do your best to address and give much importance to each and every one of your kids’ questions, no matter how uncomfortable they may make you. We must be all-ears. This is a challenging role that parents have to take seriously, irrespective of our personal feelings and thoughts about the issue at hand.
Keep aside whatever work you’re doing and give your child your 100% attention. There’s absolutely no other way of going about it.
Fact is that children are constantly mad-curious about the world. However, if we're inattentive and not careful with how we attend to our child’s curiosity, it can be quite more damaging, especially since your neglect of their curious questions could send a wrong message to them.
Before we know it, they will have already grown up to be the kind of people who have been led to believe that asking questions about sex is a silly, stupid thing to do. Such negligence can sometimes become irreparable when impressed early onto a child’s mind, affecting them emotionally.
You don’t have to encourage questions on sex, but that doesn’t mean you have to outright discourage them either.
Every answer should be well-thought-out. This is a no-brainer since a child’s mind is like a sponge and we can’t afford to let our kids take in rubbish ideas which would soon serve to them as facts, to which they’ll most likely live by for the rest of their lives! *gasp*
We wouldn’t want to be responsible for that, would we? No, of course not. Don’t wait for the very second your child asks those questions. Be smart, do some research (books, Google, other parents) and find out how others deal with their children’s questions. Be prepared so you aren’t caught off-guard.
We can never deny the fact that we were once the same curious age, too. Sticks were once wands and toilet bowls were evil lairs that could suck you in if you’ve been naughty. This is just enough reason why you, of all people, should know better about how your child would feel if you responded to their curiosity in such a way that could humiliate them, make them feel dim-witted or even hurt their feelings.
If they go asking, don’t forget to place yourself in their shoes before answering in a child-like manner. Be creative. For example, you can say, “Well, son, it’s kind of magical, you see? You sprouted from Mummy’s tummy because of Mum and Dad’s love for each other!”
Sometimes, there are certain factors which can negatively affect our response to our children. Many of us might simply snap at our kids for being so annoying for asking about sex at the worst time possible. However, we must remember to always gauge our response to our kids’ curiosity, especially when it comes to intricate topics like sex.
One shouting-match from your side could forever discourage them from ever asking you about sex.
What do you do if your kids ask you about sex and you’re in a very bad mood? Consider, “Honey, I promise we’ll talk about ‘that’ as soon as I get some good rest, alright?” as more of a risk-free response rather than “Where in world did you hear about ‘that,’ young lady?”
While you’re at it (this might sound cliché, but) a good hug will do. Counteract the bad/awkward vibes with the good ones. When you feel more prepared, then that would be the best time to try to get back to your child’s queries.
You read that right. Go “UP” to their level of thinking. You’ll be surprised how witty these kids can be today. The idea that kids are too young to handle facts about sex is plain stereotyping, and unfair to these youngsters.
The best possible way to have a meaningful conversation is to never think of yourself higher/better/more informed than the ones you’re having a conversation with. Even as grown-ups, our children can really surprise us with their knowledge. Try it and maybe you’ll find yourself chuckling over the topic of sex, realizing it isn’t that serious a subject.
When your kids throw questions at you about sex, throw it back at them. Let them figure it out wherever possible. Not only can this approach build your child’s thinking abilities, this can also build up their confidence and self-worth.
Of course, they wouldn’t really know the answers and may even give you silly ones, but there’s actually more to it than that. You’re sending them a message that you trust them enough and that they're capable to discover the answers to their own questions by themselves.
When answering your kids’ queries about sex, don’t just answer them like you’re reading out from a textbook. Say it with passion and sincerity. That’s the best possible way to grab your child’s attention.
Emphasize the fact that they’re created from and out of love. There’s a greater chance that this answer will suffice them, if only for some time. Mean what you say, no matter how silly their questions are.
If passion and sincerity are not something you’re comfortable with, then answer your children’s queries with humor, but remember to laugh with them and not at them. Avoiding questions is not a good option (which has already been explained). Answering your kid’s queries is important. And when humor is involved, everything becomes a lot less awkward and a lot more comfortable for both the parties involved.
We only have this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to spend our time with our kids while they are young. Grasp your chance to become a part of your kid’s wonderful childhood by imparting to them the wisest pieces of advice you can share.
Make vibrant conversations with them, not just about sex, but about more of the world’s wonders. Your answers will be more than just words to them – they’ll be the ultimate truth. They will be your children’s principles in life, their sources of strength and inspiration to a happy life.
At one point, a lot us may think that we can just simply send our kids to a well-off school (and maybe even brag about it) so as to simply escape answering the dreaded questions about sex. We hate to burst your bubble, but this really isn’t how things work in a good parent’s world.
It’s better they get the correct info from the right source than wrong info from the wrong source (friends, teachers, internet etc). Which brings us to our next point...
There’s no denying the fact that genuine education starts right in the comfort of your own home, you being your kids’ first teachers and they, your students. Educating your children at home is such a good foundation in addressing their curiosity.
Why? Because there’s no better teacher-student relationship than the one that is already established in love and trust. Most importantly, you’ll feel less worried about how your children will respond to the subject the next time they encounter it at school or elsewhere.
All in all, keeping up with our child’s curiosity about sex will pay off eventually. Just hang in there and enjoy it while it lasts. And remember, it matters that they become aware about sex as early as possible in order to prepare them for a better informed future.