Being a mom sometimes means having no shame.
You do what you have to do to keep the sanity from slipping through your fingertips. Do you agree?
I thought you would! Mothering one or even a herd of kids can zap all the life out of you and leave you exhausted. It can also leave you incredibly satisfied with your life. AND it can leave you in stitches! The saying that kids say the darnedest things is true. WE can even add to that and say that kids do the darnedest things. This is why we've fallen in love with them.
Now, let's talk about these crazy little beasts that we mothers have fallen in love with. These are the same dear offspring who also embarrass us until there are no more shades of red for our face to turn.
Before you became a parent you may have envisioned or even fantasized about what amazing children you would have. How their sweet faces would look up at you as if to say, "I love you, mom." How their tiny fingers would wrap around yours letting you know that you are their everything.
This is true even now as you erase marker off the wall for the 12th time this month. Your little devils are precious, but life with them is probably not all that your fantasy portrayed. No, it's a little more wild and crazy than that. Kids are blunt, honest, and life is simple to them. This simplicity, of course, entertains our adult world to no end.
Here are 15 embarrassing moments these moms will never get over. Enjoy!
15 The Forgotten Canvas
Kim from Jonesboro, AR
"I am a piece of art. Did you know that? Well, at least I was for one afternoon. Maybe I wasn't so much art as I was a walking and talking human canvas.
It happened like this: earlier that day I was trying to organize all the cards and pieces from our board games. They'd gotten all jumbled up into one glorious mess. My three-year-old wasn't entirely thrilled with the amount of focus I was directly towards the cards and such.
As you can imagine, all attention needs to be directed at every three-year-old 150% of the time. These are toddler rules...or so it seems.
Well, I came up with the genius idea to put on a white t-shirt and let her use my back as an art canvas. So, she did. She drew and drew. I organized and organized. No worries, right? I ran errands later that day wearing the same shirt. Apparently she'd been in the mood for drawing bodily functions, because she attempted to draw a person pooping. Not only is that awesome, but it explains all the weird looks."
14 The Trouble With Leakage
Tiffany from Dallas, TX
"I'm not alone in my red-faced embarrassment. My husband was right by my side as it happened. He might as well have been wearing a t-shirt that said, "I'm with leaky boobs!" I'm really not sure that a t-shirt of this caliber has been made yet. There's an idea!
My husband and I were on a grocery shopping trip when my breasts had a little let-down moment. It's quite common for this to happen during the first few months after baby is born. Basically, your boobs have a life and a mind of their own. The girls and baby run the show!
We were almost done with our entire shopping list before we noticed that I had two big saucer-sized milk spots drenching my shirt. I was absolutely mortified! It was a hot day and I really didn't have anything to cover up with, so we just finished our trip and jetted home for a dry shirt."
13 Taking The Blame
Joan from Lynchburg, VA
"My son is going through a stage where he is infatuated by farts and farting. I guesstimate that this stage will last another 25 years, but that has yet to be determined.
My embarrassing moment happened while in the waiting room at the doctor. Joining my son and I in that waiting room was a new mother and her small baby. The baby couldn't have been more than a few weeks old.
At one point, the little baby let out a gigantic fart. you know how little babies can fart like grown men sometimes? Well, this was one of those times. My son looks at me with this crazy look on his face and says, "Oh my gosh Mom, you farted so loud!"
I didn't want to be that person who pointed a blaming finger at an innocence baby, although guilty in this situation. I just shook my head at him and smiled sweetly at the new mother."
12 Scream For The Guests
Rhonda from Boise, ID
"Jayden was about three weeks old when my out-of-town friends were able to make it for a visit. They lived in Colorado, so it was a hefty journey on which to embark. I'd gone to college with one of them and the other one was a friend of the family's who moved out there after high school. It was sort of a happenstance kind of meeting, but we're all good friends.
I was so excited to see them and to introduce them to Jayden. He, on the other hand, was not very happy about it.
During the entire visit, which was all of four hours that day, he screamed bloody murder. I did everything I could think of to try to call him down. He absolutely would not settle. I was so embarrassed. My sweet friends still stayed for several hours and we were able to reconnect even through the screaming. Still, c'mon Jayden!"
11 Breastfeeding Gone Wrong
Nancy from Sweetwater, TN
"I will forever be known as Nancy Nip-slip. Yep, that's my name now. Isn't it awesome? And I'm not even a celebrity!
I am a breastfeeding mom. My breasts and I don't always agree on when the best time is to come out and visit. No, my girls like to just pop out whenever they please.
We were standing in line at a fast food restaurant when my young daughter must have unbutton my nursing top. It was one of those spaghetti strap ones with the little snap on the strap. I didn't even know she could do that yet. Honestly, I don't think she even knew how. It just sort of happened for her.
Without noticing, one side of my tank top fell down below my breast as if I were about to breastfeed. Thankfully, the cashier about to take our order was also a female and notified me of the little visitor. I have never been so embarrassed in all my life!"
10 When Are You Due?
Mackenzie from Indianapolis, IN
"During my second pregnancy I got huge. Granted, I was really mostly belly, but still I looked like I was carrying a small army in there. So a few weeks after delivery, I was still rather large as my body returned to normal.
During this time, I had a distant friend approach me while out and about. We weren't all BFF or anything, obviously, but she was a nice person and I enjoyed our small random chats.
She asked me when I was due. Dear Lord, bless her heart, she really did. I had given birth to my son three weeks before, which is also when I was due. I told her the truth and I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, me or her!
You know all those articles and memes about what not to ask a pregnant lady, yeah, she didn't read any of those."
9 It's A Valid Question
Tamara from Newark, NJ
"I really must take my son out in public more often. It's just that when I do, these sort of embarrassing things happen. I try to keep our outings to a minimum if you know what I mean. It takes a little time to recover from one!
My three and a half-year-old desperately needed new shoes, so off to the mall we went. Actually, the day went fairly well. We were able to get the shoes we needed along with a few more items on my list.
During a bathroom break, he was in the stall with me. He was overly concerned with what everyone else was doing in there. He kept pointing out the different shoes people were wearing and asking if the person wearing those shoes went pee or poop.
I don't know if you know toddlers, but there is nothing quiet about them. Nothing. So, each inquiry was well-heard by all the inhabitants of that particular bathroom. Ugh!"
8 And The Award Goes To...
Michelle from Newport, Rhode Island
"My co-workers will never let me live this down. Memes have been created in my "honor" and spread around the office. Granted, they're funny as all get out, but still.
I had just returned from maternity leave when my office held its annual meeting. During this meeting, our regional manager came to hand out awards for this and that. It just so happened that I'd won an award that year and I was going to be given the award and introduced.
This was all good and well, except that in addition to just coming out of maternity leave, I was also still breastfeeding. My right breast evidently got so excited over receiving my award that it started a serious leakage problem. My right side was dripping with breastmilk by the time I got back to my seat. How embarrassing!"
7 Too Much Adult Language
Kayla from Ogden, UT
"I'm totally going to blame this one on my boyfriend. Not that I'm perfect, but I don't usually incorporate expletives into my everyday language. He, on the other hand, absolutely does.
It was nice weather that particular day, so I decided to take our young daughter to the public park. There were many other kids there, so she got to interact with lots of cool people and seemed to be having a good time.
At one point, though, she witnessed another kid take a pretty hard spill. He basically face planted from the slide to the ground. After it happened, she loudly said, "Oh s***!"
Yeah, we left the park after that."
6 The Accidental Exposure
Anne from Rockford, IL
"I know it was bound to happen. Other breastfeeding moms have told me that I'd get to the point where I couldn't care less if other people saw my breasts or not. I guess this is true, but only when I authorize it.
While my son was still breastfeeding, I was out running errands with him. My errands were taking a little longer than usual, so he was beginning to get cranky. He found a solution to the problem, though.
While picking up some stamps at the post office, my young son grabbed my shirt color and yanked it down. When he did that, my nursing bra popped open and out came Miss Lefty.
I was seriously so embarrassed I could have barfed!"
5 Weddings And Spit-Up
Lorraine from Milwaukee, WI
"Gracie was about three months old when my good friend got married. Thankfully, I was still able to fit into my bridesmaid dress even though it had only been a few months after delivery her. I'm not celebrity, so my real-life body is recovering slowly.
The dress was a gorgeous color of champaign and I looked pretty darn good in it. I wanted to nurse her right before the wedding started so that she would sleep through most of it and not be "that" crying baby. There's one at every wedding, right!
After I nursed her, I gave her to my mom to hold and she slept soundly through the entire ceremony. It wasn't until after it was all said and done that I noticed I had a big stream of spit-up going down the right side of my beautiful dress. I had walked down the aisle like I was the s***, so I was doubly embarrassed!"
4 Mommy Went Poop
Mandy from Lexington, KY
"My children are lovely...lovely little boogers, that is. They often get things mixed up. Mostly, it's just my four-year-old son. And I'm not so sure it's an actual mix-up so much as it is on purpose.
For instance, when he burps he excuses me. But when I bump into him he apologizes. So, there are funny little things that get mixed up.
Anyway, we were at the grocery store doing our weekly shopping trip when he had a bathroom urge. He's not too keen on using public restrooms, so I went with him while my husband continued shopping with the other kiddos.
My son actually had to poop and did a great job...all but the announcement. When we met up with the rest of the family, he shouted with great pride that mommy went poop. Thank you dear son, thank you."
3 The Mass Burp
Cyndi from Keene, NH
"Do you remember the movie Elf with Will Ferrell? Okay, now think back to the part where he burbs for like forever and a day after drinking an entire 2 liter bottle of Coca-Cola. Then after the burp he says, "Did you hear that?"
Yeah, that was basically what my four-month-old son did...during mass. Seriously, he had just taken a bottle when I brought him out into the congregation. For some reason, this seemed like a great idea.
It was then that he channeled Buddy the Elf in the most embarrassing few seconds of my life. Although, it seemed like an hour, I think it was really only a few seconds long. Still, that's pretty long burp for a little baby.
2 New Fashion Statement
Miranda from Seattle, WA
"This is a story of how I thought I was so cool, but as it turns out, I'm totally not. You see, I actually really like fashion. I'm not into having mountains of clothes in my closet, but I do like the capsule wardrobe idea and having good quality pieces of clothing.
When I gave birth to my daughter, my priorities changed a bit, but after I got the hang of being a mom, I tried to focus on my fashion a little bit more.
One chilly day, I was planning to drop my daughter Lexi off at my mother's house while I went to run some errands. Before I left my mom's, I changed Lexi and took a few things out of the diaper bag. I must have done it then, because I walked around with an unused disposable diaper stuck to my scarf the biggest part of the afternoon. Epic mom-fashion fail!"
1 Mom's Favorite Things
Becky from Youngstown, OH
"I didn't actually get to witness it, but my husband came home to tell me the story so that I could relive it. He and our son Jake were at the farm store getting food for the dogs when Jake spotted the toiletries aisle. This was a part of any store he knew well since he usually shopped with me.
For one reason or another, my husband decided to grab some toothpaste while they were there, so down the toiletries aisle they went. Jake was ever so pleased. While they were gallivanting around, Jake saw a package of maxi pads.
This was where the fun started. He got so excited and demanded that his dad buy them for me. In Jake's words, "They are mamas favorite and I want to give to her!" rNeedless to say, I got a complimentary package of maxi pads with the dog food that trip."