Pregnancy often forms the crux of a woman’s lifetime, she will never be the same person afterward. During pregnancy, women have to deal with sudden mood swings, among other super annoying things like constantly feeling nauseous, horrible morning sickness, loss of bladder control and the likes.
Most people would think that after the baby’s birth mom some relief, but that's as far from the truth as it gets.
Mom's body experiences an array of bizarre changes starting from increased hair loss, swollen and sensitized chest, pain and discharge from the unmentionables, and swollen feet to a plethora of emotional outbursts that no one warns the mom-to-be about. Sounds fun, right?
Pregnancy has often wrongly been portrayed as a merry carnival of sorts, when in reality it's a literal pain in the backside. Apart from the various physical changes, it can feel as if mom is going through an infinite number of emotions all at once. This is inevitable.
After pregnancy, a woman has a constant wailing and fussy infant companion who demands every bit of her attention. As if the disastrous state of mom’s body wasn't enough, her new infant is completely dependant on her physiologically and emotionally.
That sir, is indeed a lot of pressure, especially after carrying the baby inside mom's womb for months on end. It's not wrong for moms to demand attention and sympathy.
Out of the various emotions that a new mother experiences, some are more prominent than others. Here's what new mom's feel the most:
15 A Feeling Of Accomplishment
The pressure is ON once a woman finds out about her pregnancy. To successfully carry an extra being inside of mom’s womb is not in any way as easy as it sounds. There are perhaps a hundred restrictions and tons of procedures to follow.
Simple tasks like going to the loo and picking things up from the floor start seeming herculean.
Then there are these irrational and very strong urges to eat everything in sight. Seriously, this can range from chocolates to chalk. Expectant women have eaten some really strange things.
After all of this struggle is followed by the nightmare that labor is, childbirth seems like a miraculous feat. Labor pain has been classified as the worst sort of pain, not to mention that it lies well beyond the threshold of pain that can be tolerated by an average human.
So obviously, after going through a crap ton of trouble, to hold your newborn in your arms is the ultimate feeling of accomplishment that any woman can experience, we're willing to wager.
Oh, how must it feel to take that last breath before she gives the final push! She puts every ounce of her remaining strength into it and then to finally be rewarded by the cries of her newborn. After months of extreme discomfort, to witnessing what all that effort amounted to. If that isn’t pure euphoria, then what is?
Not to mention the fact that there are innumerable complications and catastrophes that can readily happen during pregnancy. To come across all of them and emerge OK is a spectacular feat in itself. Mom probably feels like she's floating above herself watching another woman below her.
Now that the worries of carrying the baby inside are a thing of the past, the mother enjoys every moment with her baby. The realization that she has this little bundle of joy all for herself often becomes a cause of celebration, which in turn makes a lot of mothers euphoric.
Let’s face it. Having a baby is scary as hell. Parents are often portrayed as super humans that basically have an answer for any question and a solution to every problem. Actually, it's quite the opposite for a new mother.
Parenting is scary because it's incredibly scary to be given another life that you're responsible for. Most parents don't feel qualified to make any concrete decisions for their baby.
The fear is real because parents know that each decision has implications that might affect their baby for a lifetime. Additionally, there's an array of all sorts of advice coming at parents from everyone in their social circle, and while they do not want to blindly follow, new parents often don’t trust their instincts either.
The realization of being responsible for a helpless wee baby alone is difficult and daunting indeed. Especially for first time mothers.
Do you know that sinking feeling a person gets before a very important event, the second thoughts that attack during the eleventh hour? It's cold feet and unlike having cold feet at a wedding, pregnancy isn't something that exceptant mothers can walk away from.
They can feel the event even after it's all done and over with.
Why do mothers feel uncertain, though? It doesn't come from the constant demands of their baby and all the effort they will have to put into bringing the baby up. It rises because parents, especially mothers, are unsure about their own selves.
They begin questioning their ability to birth the baby and their ability to parent successfully. But let’s be honest – almost every new mum on the planet has felt uncertain whether or not she’ll be a good mom. Uncertainty is not a rare emotion.
Every parent at some point or the other has found themselves incapable of this huge responsibility. So don’t feel guilty if ya’ll are having second thoughts about the baby and parenting.
In this one scene in Shrek 3, Shrek is having nightmares about having a ton of very gross ogre babies. He then addresses his wife, Fiona, and asks if she’s seen the babies. And after knowing they’re okay, Shrek remarks that all they do is eat and poop and cry and repeat.
This, my friend, is not an incorrect statement.
Most of the stress people have about babies is the same as they have about pets. What about all that poop? How will it be trained? How many diapers and poopy clothes before it finally stops?
Because when the baby poops, it won't clean itself, neither does it clean all the places that it dirtied either. It’s all usually mommy’s job, and mommy sure as hell hates this job.
A lot of first time mothers take a LOT of time coming to terms with the gravity of their situation. And when this “crappy” realization hits them hard, no matter how much they deny it with everybody else, on the inside every mother accepts this is a bloody disgusting job to be doing.
10 Feeling Insecure
During pregnancy, a lot of bodily changes occur. These changes only intensify and keep getting worse throughout the gestation period. After childbirth, the body remains extremely stressed, which stresses mommy out!
Stretch marks become visible all over the tummy and the downstairs is all mixed up. Breasts are tender and sore, and the feet are swollen. Mom’s morale is down because she feel horrible and thinks her body is in the worst imaginable physical condition.
Needless to say, women tend to lose confidence during this time. They busy themselves with their babies and often use that as an excuse to avoid any sort of intimate interactions with their partners. Why? Because simply put, they feel out of shape and insecure.
Essentially, most women gain weight and lose all their motivation to take care of themselves.
There are thousands of examples of ladies who made spectacular recoveries after pregnancy and are still rocking their post pregnancy bodies. It doesn’t have to be all dull and gloomy!
It's pretty legitimate for mom to throw herself a pity party when all day long all she's seeing is poop and baby vomit, and all she hears is a constant stream of cries and wails.Add to that the fact that all she's eaten all day is the meager nibbles of crackers from the cupboard. Before long mom manages to quickly eat while handling her baby.
But her sense of freedom is lost somewhere in between the baby's nap and the frozen dinners she makes. The constant attention the baby demands (along with all the expectations that society in general puts on mom) is really a LOT to deal with emotionally.
There's hardly any time to relax because the mother’s focus is on the baby all the time.Mom probably wonders how other women manage to raise their babies so effortlessly. Especially if the new mommy has no help whatsoever raising the baby.
When left to herself, self pity is one of the first emotions she’ll feel, because hey, we don’t see anybody else pitying her. Not that she needs it, but the attention by itself makes her feel good.
New parents never consider themselves good enough parents for their babies. There always is something better that could be done, something better that could be served, some better game or some better activity that they could have done with their baby.
The self doubt only induces anxiety, which makes it more difficult to deal with their baby.
During such times, it is important to understand that as parents they always try and do their best. Being a parent does not grant one any super powers automatically. Even the best of parents became the best by trial and error, practice and experience.
Nobody’s born a perfect parent! We all are only human, and even in the face of a wrong decision can choose to overcome it with a smile over brooding over the loss for days.
The truth is, most of us are confused. But we all get over it. We always do.
7 Crushing Anxiety
For those who don’t know, anxiety is experienced in a state of extreme stress when the body does not know how to cope with the overwhelming emotions. There are certain symptoms of anxiety that are as clear as day when it comes to identifying them.
For example, heavy breathing, high blood pressure, fidgety behavior, lashing out at random people etc are all obvious signs of anxiety.
It is absolutely legitimate for new mothers to be experiencing anxiety. Not only for the baby, but for themselves as well. A lot of mothers will agree that the easiest way for them to get restless is as soon as their baby gets out of their sight.
That’s mostly because after personally taking care of every need of the little one, it is difficult to entrust someone else with the same responsibilities.
Anxiety can be difficult, but one must remember that there is no situation that does not eventually pass, so holding on to this feeling is not going to do anyone any good
6 Amusement And Happiness
Not all emotions are negative! We can now step talk about a happy emotion. Babies are an endless source of amusement and happiness.
The way they tilt their face and extend their arms to welcome their mommy, the cutest little yawns they do, the way their little fingers curl hug the finger of anyone they momentarily like, and of course their adorable babbling.
Parents usually strut around with their baby in the baby strollers, filled with pride to be with their own little ball of happiness, happily answering any and all questions. “What’s her name?”, “Can I hold her?”, and the likes.
Ladies especially love to show their baby off as they meet the neighborhood mommies and talk about parenting and baby care. Seriously. What can be cuter than a baby? Nothing much, especially when babies are complimented on how cute they are, especially by complete strangers! Which brings us to our next emotion…….
A mother has every reason to be proud of herself. Pregnancy and parenting can rightly be called the two most challenging tasks that a woman can ever face. After successfully giving birth, fighting the stress, anxiety and indecision to do what's best for the baby, proud is what a woman should feel.
Because let’s face it - no one prepares a woman for the nightmarish conditions pregnancy and baby rearing can land her in.
And after mom is done with the horrible bodily changes (and emotional trauma) that she undergoes during pregnancy, comes the task of raising the baby itself. And the best part of raising the baby? When others acknowledge all the hard work that the mother put into her baby.
Having other people tell you that you're doing a good job and complimenting the baby makes mom's heart swell. We should build new moms up more, there should be a culture of instilling mothers with an unparalleled sense of pride.
And now dear readers, we know you're thinking,” but everybody’s stressed! Being stressed is a part of everyday life.” However, stress increases tenfold for the mother of a baby. Especially when the baby is an adventure freak who likes exploring and performing feats like falling off places and tumbling around here and there. Adventurous tikes are a constant source of worry amongst all mothers.
The real test is when the baby is left alone for the first time with a sitter. While a part of the mother’s mind would want to celebrate its heart out for being able to go out and have fun. But the other part of her heart will not let her do anything, worry till her baby returns home and makes her feel guilty about her decision.
Not to mention a million other irrational reasons for stress. Baby bumps their head, mom assumes she's the worst mother ever. The baby’s hands are dirty, now they've caught the plague. Baby’s coughing, rush him to the ER!
All mothers feel this, but they think they're the only ones experiencing it. Mothers tend to blame themselves for everything. They take on the stress of caring for their family and carry that burden heavily on their shoulders. They're never sure if what they're doing is their best and wonder what if their best isn't good enough.
This type of negative thinking can fill a mom with guilt. Once she heads down guilt trip road, it can be hard to turn around. Especially if she feels like everything is confirming that she's not a good mom. Here's where compliments and support help mom come out of her guilt complex.
Listen up mothers everywhere, if your kids have food in their belly, a roof over their head and most importantly, love in their heart. You are doing a great job. And even of some of these are missing, the love is the most important part here.
2 Tolerance And Patience
It can be difficult to deal with a baby. Really and truly difficult. But mothers master it effortlessly in no time at all. The truth is that the most important emotion of them all while raising a baby is patience, without a doubt.
It is important because babies need the attention of the mother at all times in order to develop emotionally and physiologically. Babies want to feel safe above all, and they feel safe just by being loved. Moms love their baby by patiently handling their baby when they cry and fuss, moms always give their babies their total attention, and deal with sleepless nights and crazy antics while their babies are growing up.
Then comes the other recipient of the mother’s patience – her partner. The sheer amount of patience it requires to look interested and attentive after a long day of ‘being a good mom’ while her partner talks about his day at the office. Something she’s probably heard hundreds of times. And for this, mom deserves a medal.
This hope covers so much of mom's life. The hope of a day when the mother can be free from catering to all the whims and fancies of her baby, to be able to grab an alcoholic drink and let her hair down. Hope that her baby will continue to grow healthy and strong, hope that every decision she makes is the right decision.
These hopes mom has inside carry her through the tough times and make her happy when she sees these hopes and dreams becoming a reality. And as her child grows, so do her hopes, with each year brings a new hope for the future and her family.
A mom without hope is a mom who's given up, a woman defeated, but she can get her hope back, she just needs some love and encouragement. If you do anything in the coming year, be sure to lift up another woman and mother. It'll make her day and your year!