Pregnancy can be quite a struggle with the sickness, pain, sleep deprivation and the sheer weight of the little human weighing the body down for nine months. It can feel as though pregnancy will go on forever and the wait for either a baby boy or a baby girl will never end. But of course it will and that is exactly what keeps pregnant ladies trucking on during the entire 40 weeks, with that light at the end of the tunnel being the delivery day that they get to meet their tiny bundle of joy on the delivery day.
There are so many expectations others and ourselves as women carrying a child have for our labor, d-day and birth experience a lot of which never happen or are not what you thought they would be.
From the birth plan not going quite to plan to not announcing the birth of your little one for well over a week there are things you say you will do that you don't and things you thought would happen that just don't work out but whatever happens as long as you have a healthy baby boy or girl at the end that is what matters most.
So to prepare those expectant mothers out there reading for what may not go to plan and for experiences mothers to relate to here is: 15 Expectations Moms Hope For On D-Day That Never Happen.
15 Feeling Like A Different Person
You often hear Mothers talk about how becoming a Mom changed not only their lives but the person they are as a persona and this is all well and true as time passes but moments after birth more often than not this is rarely the case.
Moms-to-be often think as soon as that baby is put into their arms and they are then officially a Mother that every single thing about them will change and they will feel like this new woman. Although yes your role has changed as you are now a Mother and are given the responsibility to look after a little life you rarely feel like a new person and more like the person you already were but you have been placed in a very new and unfamiliar environment/situation. This feeling can often be unsettling when you were expecting something else. As time passes however you will feel that you have changed as a person through Motherhood but it is not an instant feeling of switched personality.
14 It Being Beautiful
The perfect birth shown in the films and TV shows that are of course not real or if it is a reality show for example they will be highly edited and cut to show the 'good' parts of labor and delivery thus leaving a bit of a false image of how beautiful your birth experience will be when the time comes for you to have your little one.
Of course the miracle that is pregnancy and giving birth is a beautiful thing in general but what you don't see in the films and TV shows is the gore, the length of time it can take, the tears, the sickness, the complications and more, the list goes on. So when you are finally in the position to give birth a lot of the experience may shock you and that calm, beautiful and quick birth experience where you automatically are smiling after and cuddling your baby is rarely what you get.
13 No Pain Relief
Now do not get me wrong, it is 100% possible to have a natural birth with no pain relief. Women have done it in the past when there were not so many options for pain relief and women do it now avoiding/refusing pain relief but sometimes you go in with the mindset of having a completely natural birth with no drugs being involved and the total opposite happens.
To give you a personal example, I was determined to have a natural labor and delivery. I wanted to give birth in a calm environment, in a birthing pool with no pain relief and I was even considering the thought of having a home birth to which life said no way and I ended up with the complete opposite. I was overdue which meant I ended up getting induced (that's already goodbye to the natural part) and I did manage to labor on gas and air for a good 10 hours but then my daughters heart-rate dropped and we were rushed to into surgery for an emergency cesarean section where I obviously received many drugs. Sometimes these things happen and you don't get what you prepared for.
12 The 'Firsts'
As well as planning the birth and imagining what it will be like as an expectant Mom you also imagine those first moments with your little one and wonder what it will be like to feed them for the first time, dress them for the first time, change their nappy for the first time and so on and so forth.
Often not all of those firsts you are dreaming of through pregnancy you get to do. You most likely get to do it second or third but not always the first time your baby needs something you get to do. Sometimes the baby is given to your partner first, sometimes you are unable to move (for example after a c-section) so you cannot change your little one's nappy for the first time and sometimes your baby needs special care and it is likely a nurse will feed them. This can be very upsetting for many Mothers because they want to do those things that they have been thinking about for so long but try remember that you will get to do all these things many a time in your baby's life so don't be too discouraged.
11 Using Everything In The Hospital Bag
You have gotten to the third trimester or pregnancy and you are ready to pack your hospital bag. You watch videos, read lists and ask friends and family what they think you should take then it is time to pack your bag all in anticipation for your baby boy or girls arrival. When packing your bag especially for the first time most moms-to-be tend to over pack taking everything but the kitchen sink-sometimes they may even take that too!
You think you will use every single thing in that bag from the matching outfits for the way home to the massive make up bag you brought but most likely you will only reach for what you seriously need and will prefer to stay in your pj's for as long as possible same goes for your little one. The bare necessities is all you need.
10 Everything Going As Planned
Everyone from strangers to doctors tell you to write a birth plan and of course this is a very smart idea as it lets all the medical staff know exactly what you want to happen in your labor and delivery and can help things run a bit smoother but baby's and their birth's are unpredictable so sometimes what you put on that birth plan is not what happens in the end and the whole thing can be chucked out the window in order for your little bundle of joy to be delivered safe and sound into the world.
So if your birth goes the way you planned that's great but if like many other Mothers that birth plan has to be forgotten for the sake of you and the baby then don't fret, as long as you and baby are healthy and happy that is what matters most.
9 Looking Stunning In Those First Pictures
Many women love being dolled up and having their make up perfect as they feel more confident and beautiful that way so when it comes to the first pictures with your little one you want to look your best. These pictures you will treasure for the rest of your life and most likely have them framed or in photo albums so of course you expect you will have your hair and make up done before the birth or some expect they will be able to do it during the labor.
Well don't let this woman above fool you because most likely there will be no make-up and your hair will be all over the place because during the pain you will go through this will be the last thing on your mind. It may not be the way you feel most confident but this pure moment where you are in the most natural state many would say this is true beauty.
8 Experiencing That 'My Water-Broke' Moment
Something else we have seen in movies and TV shows that all moms-to-be tend to expect for delivery day is the 'my water-broke moment' where you have a shocked look on your face- and so do others if there are other people around you- and there is a puddle directly under you at this point you get ready and rush to hospital.
This of course has and will happen to some pregnant women but for others the 'water-breaking moment' is not so sudden and shocking in fact it is sometimes missed by mistake and for others they may need emergency surgery or to have their water artificially broken in hospital. All births are different and the way that is usually seen on the big screen is not always what happens.
7 Being Incredibly Happy
When you speak to people with children you often hear them say that the day their child or children was born was the best or happiest day of their lives and although I am sure they are telling the truth- I mean I say this about the day my daughter was born- I will bet you that they were not entirely happy on the day their baby was born and other emotions were also in play.
Many expectant Mothers think that when they finally have their baby in their arms they will be the happiest person in the world and of course there is that moment on euphoria but after that the hormones, exhaustion and pain kick in and a mixture of feelings start which can lead to the Mother feeling guilty over not feel super happy. However there is no need to feel any guilt because all these emotions are only natural and you are not alone in the way you are feeling.
6 Getting To Rest After
You have just been through this very painful and exhausting experience in order to bring your little one into the world of course you deserve some sleep and to rest but Motherhood means sleepless nights and that starts right away!
Despite knowing this many Mothers to be still hope or assume they will get at least an hours rest after because newborns do sleep a lot but due doctor checks and the Mum insomnia (feeling the need to watch your baby while they sleep meaning you can't get to sleep) you often do not get that desired rest. Even if you do manage to get a small amount you know that new born will need you soon, this is however what you signed up for and the sleepless nights won't last forever so although it is hard it will all be worth it.
5 No Complications
Of course every expectant Mother hopes and prays for a no complications and straight-forward delivery. We as moms-to-be get our hopes up and almost expect the whole birth to go exactly how we planned with no interference or complications but that does not always happen and in fact it is rare nowadays that you will have every bit of the experience the way you want- the little one decides at the end of the day.
Some pregnant women who want a natural birth end up with an emergency c-section, some babies are born premature and need to be taken to special care, some Mothers are severely ill after and so on. Birth is unpredictable and all you can do is hope for a happy healthy baby and Mother at the end of it all even if you have to endure some complications.
4 Posting To Social Media Instantly
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, MySpace and all the social media accounts you can have, have become a big part of many peoples lives over the years and it is now the way they most people keep in touch with friends, family and nowadays even strangers online. Keeping people up to date on what is happening in yours and your family's life and sharing happy news such as of course the birth of a little baby.
Many pregnant women, especially those who are very active on social media, assume they will be grabbing their phones as soon as their baby is out so they can snap a picture and share, share, share but in reality you are in no hurry to get your Facebook fix and the posting on social media comes a lot later if at all.
3 Baby Bump Disappearing
You are pregnant one minute then lots of pain and a screaming baby boy or girl later you are now a mother but no longer pregnant, you go straight back to the way you looked before getting pregnant right? No baby bump? Wrong, it can take a very long time for that bump to go away and you are left with what many people refer to as a 'mum tum'.
Parents.com states that 'it takes 6-10 weeks for a woman's uterus to go back to its original size after birth but the skin can take much longer periods of time'. For many women that stretched skin never completely goes back to the way it was before but don't be disheartened, this 'mum tum' is something to be proud of you created life.
2 Getting Home Quickly
No one likes being in hospital for whatever reason you may be in there so of course this includes pregnant women, new mothers and their babies. Many women now opt for a home birth so that they are home from the start and do not even have to set foot in the hospital. For those pregnant women who do want a hospital labor and delivery it is often expected that their stay will be short and they will be able to return to there home with their little one quite quickly but as the other entries on this list state, that is not always the case.
Complications can arise and you may need to stay in for medical reasons, you may be discharged from hospital but your baby has to stay in longer or you may decide you are not prepared to leave the hospital and need some more time to recover. The stay could potentially last for up to a week or longer.
1 Everything Coming To You Naturally
You have heard it before that the maternal instinct is natural and from this many moms-to-be envision that when their baby boy or girl arrive they will just automatically be overcome with nature and know exactly what to do and how to deal with their newborn even if you have had little to no experience with babies or children before. It is a shock to the system when not everything does come naturally and things like breastfeeding or even bonding with this new life you have brought into the world can be quite hard.
This is completely normal as it is a big life adjustment so please do not feel guilty or discouraged. Yes, you carried your little one for 9 months but ultimately they are still a stranger to you when they are born and like any relationship it takes a while to get into the swing of things so just cut yourself some slack. You're doing great Mama.