To create long-lasting memories that will stick in our children’s mind, we need to be there in their present life from infancy to adulthood. When it comes to estranged relationships and, sometimes, single parenting, the ones who get the short ends of the stick are the kids involved.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will be remembered as one of the most talked about couples in Hollywood. Unfortunately, when Tom and Katie's relationship hit a rough patch, and ultimately ended in divorce, it was Suri who suffered the most. There could be many reasons why the once celebrated relationship didn't last long. There are certain facts which obviously had a huge impact on their relationship - ones we will be discussing below.
It is not a secret that Tom Cruise is a well-known figure in the Church of Scientology since the late 1980s. Tom Cruise seems to be an ardent follower and gives the church the full credit for helping him overcome his dyslexia.
Katie Holmes who conceived Suri during the first months of their dating was very clear about her duties towards Suri. Here is a look at fifteen different things that Katie Holmes never revealed about Tom Cruise’s parenting.
14 Tom Didn’t Contact Suri For Nearly 1,000 Days
An article in the June 2016 issue of In Touch Weekly reported that he then 53-year-old Top Gun star has not 'seen or spoken to Suri in 1,000 days.'
According to the same article, "Tom's adherence to Scientology was pointed out as the reason for the severance of ties with his only biological child."
Post-split, Tom did not pick up his phone even to say a ‘Hi’ to his daughter for a very small period. A small period of 1000 days! 1000 days means almost two and a half years! It seems he was occupied with his film commitments. Interesting enough, post-split he had managed to make at least one film every year until 2015!
The bizarre ‘disconnection’ policy by the Scientology church could also be the reason for his deliberate distance. Katie cannot introduce her boyfriends To Suri - a post-divorce settlement clause by Tom. I have always felt that divorce is not only the separation between parents, it is also the separation of kids from parents, it is the breaking up of a family. In a divorce always the affected party are kids no matter what their age is.
13 ‘Scientology-Approved’ Baby Formula
According to the US magazine, as an infant, little Suri was fed a mixture of barley water, milk and corn syrup instead of formula or breast milk, as prescribed by founder L. Ron Hubbard.
Breastfeeding the baby is not a mother’s wish. It is the baby’s birthright, as of we all know and experience. But, kids whose parents believe in Scientology never get the taste of their mother’s milk. They are allowed to have only "Hubbard's baby formula”. This was only what Suri had all those years!
The people reported that Scientology spokesperson Karin Pouw said: "while breastfeeding is fine, church founder L. Ron Hubbard personally developed a recipe consisting of barley water, milk and corn syrup that he recommended for infants." Hubbard recommended it as “a healthy, natural alternative to store-bought ‘formulas. ”
12 He Never Told Suri 'No'
Prior to Katie Holmes with Tom Cruise's breakup, Suri was the child of celebrity billionaire parents.
As her nannies revealed to Star Magazine, Suri's whole world waited on her hand and foot.
Personal bodyguards and drivers had been appointed to escort her to NYC’s FAO Schwarz toy store for shopping sprees. She was just a toddler at that time but was treated like a little princess! As the daughter of famous Hollywood parents, Suri was bound to be spoiled, no doubt.
A nanny and family insiders told the 'Star' that her parents bought her a $25,000 tiara. This was after she had flushed a pair of diamond earrings down the toilet! Poor thing didn't know the difference between the original diamond and plastic gems.
11 Tom Bought A Personal Sonogram Machine
Sonograms are the most useful way to see the growing fetus inside mom's belly. The person who conducts the ultrasound, however, is usually by a medical professional who received proper training of at least 18 months.
According to people.com, Tom Cruise revealed to Barbara Walters’ annual show on the ‘Year’s Most Fascinating Couple’ that he had personally purchased an ultrasound machine to track the movements and the heartbeat of his unborn daughter, Suri.
Afterward, the American College of Radiology (ACR) had to issue a release stating that fetal ultrasounds should only be performed for medical purposes and not for these kinds of fancy ideas!
Cruise had obtained the machine and paid for it to monitor his daughter’s heartbeat and movement months before most couples are even booked in to have their baby’s first scan.
10 He Also Insisted Katie Give Birth To Suri ‘In Silence’
It has been widely reported that Tom Cruise insisted that Katie have a 'silent birth.' This means, no screaming during the labor.
Cruise told GQ Magazine that "making a noise had a negative spiritual effect on someone giving birth." He then went on to state that the-then 27-year-old Katie would be allowed to scream but cryptically that “it is really is about respecting the woman. It’s not about her screaming. And scientifically it is proven. Now there are medical research papers that say when a woman’s giving birth everyone should be quiet.”
According to CBS News, in Scientology, "words - even loving ones - spoken during birth and other painful times are recorded by the "reactive mind," or subconscious. Those memories, adherents feel, can eventually trigger problems for mother and child."
9 Treats The Kids Like Adults
The world’s most famous Scientologist, Tom Cruise, had his own parenting rules based on his theories of the church. One among them was to treat the kids as adults. In a post about Scientology kids on mikerindersblog, Mike writes "In Scientology, children are treated as “old thetans in small bodies” – meaning they are capable of pretty much anything an adult is able to do, only limited by their physical size and ability."
That is perfectly fine, but not always. We should always remember in the back of our mind that kids are just kids. They may not be able to reciprocate in the same way when we behave like adults to them.
Some nannies revealed to tStar magazine that while Tom was busy appointing nannies one after the other to take care of Suri, appointing drivers to make sure of her transport, personal attendants to satisfy her needs as if she were a queen, it was really very difficult for Holmes to put her foot down. Katie Holmes struggled to employ any discipline as a mother. Because of this, in the early years of Suri’s life, it constantly made Holmes out of the team.
8 Letting Suri Cry-It-Out
TomKat wedding was held in a 15th-century castle in one of the medieval Italian towns. The lavish affair had a three-day itinerary, a five-tiered cake the size of Cruise, and Holmes donning a veil which took 70 hours to create!
According to The Daily Mail, Leah Remini revealed in her book 'Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology," that Suri (who was seven months old at the time) could be heard wailing throughout the star-studded dinner. Apparently, she was not being taken care of properly.
Baby Suri’s loud cries were audible enough outside and it was reported that her caretakers, including Tom’s sister and his assistant, let Suri cry it out on the floor as they tried to shush the yells.
Katie reportedly didn't try to calm the situation.
7 No Real Friends
The dailymail.co.uk reported that by just 4 years old, little Suri Cruise had owned $2-million wardrobe and her own stylist, thanks to her high profile father! There was an incident reported when Suri threw a crying fit when Holmes refused to buy her a puppy at the pet store.
A source told the Star Magazine that whenever the family hits the road they set up a makeshift playroom for Suri wherever they go.
This would be filled with several toys and a couple of dolls from her wide collection of dolls to play with! Tom believed that his princess needed a castle fit for a queen, no wonder Suri had a $100,000 Disney castle-themed playroom in Mommy and Daddy’s $30.5 million Beverly Hills home!
The hardest part behind all these rich scenes was that Suri never had a chance to make real friends! Living a royal life, she had to find friends in her parents’ employees! But post-split, Katie had managed to put her in an NYC school, where she started has started to make real-life friends.
6 Strict Homeschooling
US Magazine stated that during the time of TomKat's divorce, Holmes didn't want her daughter raised in Scientology and homeschooled by church teachers. "She wanted Suri to go to a normal school with regular kids."
Scientology has always been the part of Tom Cruise’s life since his early twenties. During his second marriage to Nicole Kidman, they had two adopted kids together, Isabella and Connor Cruise.
Tom had enrolled them both in a strict Scientology-style homeschooling.
Business Insider pointed to a passage in Leah Remini’s Scientology tell-all, Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology, in which Remini was riding in a car with Isabella and Connor after Cruise’s 2006 wedding to Katie Holmes and asked the children if they’d seen their mom recently.
According to Remini, Isabella replied, “Our mom is a [...] SP.” That’s Scientology-speak for “suppressive person,” which means someone who does not support Scientology and who the church demands followers cut all ties with.
Though Holmes was a follower in the beginning, towards the end of their relationship, she herself stopped attending Scientology classes.
5 The High-Speed Car Chase
6-year-old Suri and her dad, Tom Cruise, were chased through the streets of Manhattan by paparazzi, which the media described as a “high-speed car chase”.
As per the reports in the New York Daily News, Tom and Suri (after leaving their hotel room) were taken by a black SUV to a heliport. Unfortunately, they were chased by photographers the whole way there. Though Tom and Suri are a famous father and daughter duo, this was the period of Tom's marriage struggles, so that paparazzi were all over the story. They were going on a high speed of 55-65 mph on the West Side Highway, where the speed limit is only 25 mph. Just imagine!
Though no one was hurt in the chase, this indeed gives us a quick flashback of Princess Diana. This would have risked both their lives! From the snaps, it is quite clear that how the 6-year-old fared it! She seemed to cling tight to her father shutting her face away from the cameras. She must have been really scared! It is obvious that Katie never wants anything to harm her child whatever celebrity she is!
4 Katie Had To Use Private Phones
Intruding privacy- no one likes. When it is in the midst of a ferocious divorce settlement, definitely everyone hates it. That is what Katie Holmes had to deal with when she was splitting from Tom Cruise.
The Los Angeles Times reported that Katie Holmes used a disposable cell phone to arrange her divorce from Tom Cruise. She is believed to have been so intent to keep conversations with her attorneys private she contacted them via throwaway phones given to her by a close friend. Katie intended to keep her divorce plans from Tom, 50, and his staff until her June 29 announcement.
The usage of the undetectable private phone shows the extent to which Katie had to go to make sure that both she and her daughter would be safe and sound after separation! The aid of her father and the private phone had eventually helped her to win the primary custody of Suri.
3 Raising Nicole Kidman's Kids
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were married for more than one decade and then out of blue, out came a ferocious divorce battle. While the world wondered what happened to the happy couple, it seems Scientology was part of the reason.
The couple had adopted two children, Isabella and Connor. Both were undergoing strict homeschooling under Scientology theory and believe you me, they both were taught to identify Kidman as a “Suppressive Person”. Definitely, he wanted Suri to be on the same line, but unfortunately or fortunately that did not happen.
In Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief, Alex Gibney’s 2015 documentary, Marty Rathbun, a former high-ranking Scientologist, confesses that he was assigned to sabotage Cruise’s marriage: “I was to facilitate the breakup with Nicole Kidman. Rathbun elaborated that this campaign included spying on Kidman, “auditing” Cruise, and “re-educating” the couple’s adopted children, Connor and Isabella."
This all culminated in 2001 when Cruise divorced Kidman.
2 Following The Same Rules And Traditions
The most celebrated Scientologist in the Hollywood Tom Cruise wanted his daughter to be an exact replica of his! He wanted his child to be strictly brought up in Scientology rules and traditions. Hollywoodreporter.com commented that "in filing for divorce from Tom Cruise - and apparently blindsiding him - amid indications she doesn’t want her daughter raised a Scientologist and is seeking sole custody, Katie Holmes has made it clear that she is taking a very different tack from Nicole Kidman, who split up with Cruise in 2001."
The fact is that, if any of the members don’t wish to follow the rules or want to move away from this belief, then the Scientology family used to disown their family member. Katie herself being a believer might have been open to the thought of raising Suri in the Scientology belief, but the more she was closer to it, the more she might have been frightened.
The Daily Mail Online revealed that Katie Holmes broke up with Tom Cruise because she feared she would end up like Nicole Kidman.
1 Is Katie A Suppressor?
How far do your beliefs take you in your life? Yes, that is what drives us, but there comes a time when you realize that your beliefs are becoming the cause of losing some valuable things in your life. At this juncture, some may still cling to their beliefs while others take a self-check and make a recourse. Well, Tom Cruise belongs to the first category and another famous Scientologist actress Leah Remini belongs to the second.
There are deep-rooted beliefs Tom is tied with. When a relationship fails among the family, the church steps in for the rescue. The one who is the ardent follower would be the righteous one and the other would be named as the wrong one or the “Suppressive Person”, as per the Scientology terminology.
In this case, sadly Katie was considered an SP. Now, since Suri has to be with her mom, she would also be considered a “Potential Trouble Source or PTS”. Tom is a strict follower and looks forward to spiritual growth. Katie being the suppressive person and Suri being the Potential Trouble source, it is well explained why Tom might not a part of their life anymore.