New parents enter motherhood and fatherhood having a glimmer of an idea of the challenges ahead. Most couples, and more so parents, argue over money and new responsibilities.  After all, it's obvious that going through a real major overhaul in how life works will require some extra funds. But the time, pressures, the insecurities, the upside down schedule and the new stressors all contribute to more than the anticipated arguments.

You may find yourself at some point glaring over your cold cup of coffee at your mate, wondering how your child could be so wonderful when the darling is genetically half from that person! Hopefully, that mood won't persist, but you get the picture. A 2013 study published in Psychological Science concluded that frequent exposure to loud arguing among parents influenced baby's brain functioning and how they processed emotion and stress.

So while we may think baby is too young to be affected; think again. The answer of course is not to swallow anger, but there are things we can do to decrease stress and build up the partnership. Amie Gordon, Ph D, gives this advice in a 2016 issue of Psychology Today: make sleep a priority; give the other the benefit of the doubt; learn a new hobby together to build that bond; and don't forget to show appreciation for each other.

15 Agreeing On A Babysitter

While it's unlikely to be the first fight a new parenting couple experiences, it is relatively common. One reason is due to those "I just assumed," moments. You grew up one way and he another, and it's so basic a belief that how you were raised is how most people were, it can be a surprise that you differ strongly. When I was a kid by the time you were a preschooler, you likely had a teen girl sitter from church or from around the neighborhood. My man grew up differently; if you weren't family, you weren't left alone with the kids. Period. These are sources of arguments for many couples. In these cases, it's pretty much a given that the more anxious parent will win. It's simply not worth it to go out and have your mate staring at the phone the whole time.

14 Spoiling Policy

Before baby arrives, you may have an idea of how ridiculous some family members may get. There are hints at the baby shower, when their present is beyond off the chart. Like instead of a carseat, they've purchased an Escalade Power Wheels. But once baby is actually here, things can get crazy really quickly. And if you and your mate don't agree on boundaries, fur will eventually fly. For instance, if grandparents want to buy Junior a stuffed animal for the nursery, cool. If they want to buy a stuffed animal that is as big as the nursery, not so much. But maybe your spouse got spoiled like that himself, and sees no issue. You'll have to do some talking and be willing to compromise to work out something livable.

13 You Don't Appreciate Me!

As experts warn, feeling unappreciated can be the true root of many new parent fights. It may start out as, "Did you forget to take out the trash again?" But it's really, haven't you noticed I did all the shopping WITH the baby, did your laundry, picked up your drycleaning and dropped the baby at the daycare while you did what exactly?? And not a thanks or even a smile. This stuff can be toxic quickly so find a space in the week to talk about feelings in a calm, not stressed moment. Express your appreciation of your mate, as well. When you feel like gritting your teeth about it, you need to dig deeper and find things to appreciate. And then, let him know you appreciate it. He needs it same as you do!

12 That's Not How We Do It!

Criticizing how the mate does something related to baby or household chores is kindling for conflict. Our typical fallback position is, "That's not how we do it!" But here's the thing; we is not the same we you grew up with. This is a new family, and maybe you'll do some things differently now in this family. And here's another morsel to chew upon; maybe your way isn't the superior way, after all! Shocking, isn't it? And supposing it actually is a measurably better way, ask yourself this--"Does it really matter?" Does it matter if he changes baby's diaper on a mat on the floor, or on top of the expensive changing table as long as he gets baby clean and the new diaper stays on?? Control freaks (you know who you are), time to relinquish that iron grip or forever fight!

11 When Are We Ever Going To Do It?

Yes, this is something we have all heard that new couples have conflict over, but many of us assume we will be the exception. After all, we never had issues before. We'll adjust after baby. Yes, you probably will adjust but during the adjustment, there are most likely going to be bumps in the path. Fatigue is a major factor. Throw in breastfeeding, and it does impact romance at times. But that is only part of the problem.

Many couples let walls build up during those early parenting months, and resentment is a love life killer. Resist any urge to use sex as a weapon or as currency in your marriage. He didn't say thank you for my picking up his chores this week, so no yummy time for him! Or she was so mean this week, I'll give her the cold shoulder and show her how it feels. Communication is key to sex in a relationship. Work on yours!

10 Baby's Wardrobe

While you may be expecting to have this argument say when your child starts maybe middle school, don't be so sure. Today there are all kinds of crazy get ups out there that make baby look like a trucker, biker or mini-pole dancer. Are you comfortable with that? How about your mate? This can be a source of arguments among new parents, as one parent may feel like a child should dress like a child, while the other may think it's adorable to dress a baby like a miniature adult. How will you resolve such a conflict? Are there areas you can agree on, and boundaries both will adhere to? Compromise may be required, and be prepared to explain your position, but aim to do so in a calm manner.

9 Is It Grandma Smith Or Grammy Kate?

Hard to believe this could be fodder for fights, but yes, it may be. It's not often something we talk about while pregnant, and suddenly the grandparents are coming over and you say to baby, "Are you going to see Grandma Katie today?" and your husband whirls around to look at you, as if you had two heads. "It's Nana Kitty!" he spews. Wow! Didn't know it mattered. But what if BOTH grandmothers want to be called Nana, and what if one absolutely won't be called by her first name.

This is something you guys must work out before baby has a break down trying to address his relatives. Another related issue: what do you call older people? In my partner's family, anyone old enough to be your parent MUST be addressed as Miss, Ms or Mr and never by a first name. That's just disrespectful! Find out and work out your differences so you teach baby one consistent thing.

8 In-laws And Inhumanity

OK, so maybe you've heard some in-law horror stories. You probably have met his folks by now, so you know their quirks and issues. But you've not known them as your child's grandparents before. New ball game! And your spouse is likely to say the same thing about your parents. Grandparents can be combative over grandkids, and they may compete with each other over who got kid the best presents, who gets the most time with them, or who is the favorite.

Honestly, these are adults but you'll likely strain to see it at times. It's up to the two of you to set ground rules TOGETHER and be a unified team, otherwise you'll be divided and conquered by the in-laws. It won't work to have only one partner deal firmly with the folks; both have to back the other up to the grandparents and extended family.

7 We Never Go Out!

Look, being a parent necessarily changes lives. No more keggers! (If there ever were any!) No more leisurely shopping for hours, aimlessly. Nope! But it is important to get out together as a couple sometimes. Of course, that will require finding a sitter you both can agree on. Even if you're nursing, you can manage an hour here or there for your loved one! I didn't do this with my first two, but later I learned that yes, it was worthwhile to pump even though I didn't work outside home just for the purpose of being untethered for a few hours at times.

It made me refocus on life and feel recharged. Couples desperately need this during new parenthood. If one or both neglect this, expect more arguments to crop up due to being stir crazy, if nothing else.

6 First Birthday Bash

Sometimes someone you've known for years changes before your eyes into an out of control diva or control freak. The cause? A child's party. It could begin with the first birthday party, and then heaven help everyone by the sweet 16! Experts recommend no more than a handful of kids or only familiar people for a baby's first birthday party. That's what is appropriate for a toddling little person.

He doesn't want celebrities, a guest list that extends into the dozens or elaborate celebrations. A little unwrapping, loving familiar people and some tasty cake; that's what a 1-year-old would be thrilled to receive. If you and your spouse are out of step on this, sit down and think about what is best for baby. If your mate wants an over the top party, make it a separate affair to avoid overstimulating or freaking out baby or arguments are sure to ensue!

5 Baby Dos And Don'ts

Discipline sounds like a harsh word, but discipline is about shaping and guiding a child's behavior, and that starts early. For instance, when baby slaps at Daddy's face, what will the response be? No, of course harsh punishments have no place in disciplining those in diapers. But a stern voice and holding baby's hand from striking a person is appropriate. Or what if when baby understands the concept and word no, but doesn't heed it and grabs the cup off the table and it crashes to the floor.

If you don't get on the same page with what's OK and what's not, and even more importantly, what to do when the limits are crossed, fighting will be certain. You also don't want to set up the good cop/bad cop duo as parents. Kids learn to play you against each other almost innately.

4 Conflicting Parenting Styles

If you don't figure this out early, truly the arguments will never, ever end! Firstly, many people don't realize there are such different parenting approaches. For example, you may expect baby to sleep in a crib in his own room, while your spouse may think it's best to have kids in the same room as the parents for months, maybe even years! You may think it's important to comfort a crying child, while your partner believes in "crying it out." This basic clash of styles happens to lots of families, and finding areas of compromise is crucial. Talk about things in an unstressed time, and find common ground to start. The sooner you solve your differences in styles the better!

3 Do We Bend Around Baby?

I'm not criticizing the royals here, but explaining there are two main parenting approaches: one is you adapt your lifestyle to baby, and the other is to teach baby to adapt to yours. For instance, will you give up hiking until baby is much older, or will you pack up gear and baby and find a way to continue your hobby with baby in tow? Will you still have weekly poker parties, but turn on the white noise machine in babies room, and insist visitor's smoke outdoors? This is not a right/wrong issue, but just a team-centered answer. What will we as a couple do? Take a new path as a family with our free time, or teach baby to love our pass times? Have the conversation and decide how you feel about your pre and post baby lifestyle choices to eliminate future conflicts.

2 Health Choices

One major area of potential difficulty between parents is health. Hopefully you both agree on the importance of immunizations to keep baby safe. However, there are plenty of other issues in this arena, such as is baby sick enough to call the pediatrician, or should I rush to the ER? Would you be the parent to give Tylenol for teething, while he says to just give baby a cold cloth to suck on? These issues will definitely crop up.

Even though my partner and I have a blended family of his and mine, we have to deal with this even with older kids. Having conversations early on, instead of in the heat of the moment will make it less likely to blow up into bickering. Of course, you both want your child to be healthy and safe, so play fair and don't accuse the other of not caring. Find areas of agreement and build from there.

1 Timing Is Everything

Yes, timing is indeed everything. And if you disagree on important event timing with your spouse, life can be hard indeed. For example, if you disagree on when to wean the baby, you'll have boob issues. If you disagree on when baby should sleep in her own room, you'll have sleep conflicts. If you disagree on when you should toilet train, you'll be poop outta luck when it comes to getting along. You get the point. Deciding when key events will occur takes time to talk and more importantly, listen to one another. You can't mesh perfectly on everything, but you will need to come to some compromise on important timing issues. Arguing is part of learning and growing together, as long as you keep communicating and don't shut it all down.

Sources: ScienceDaily.com, PsychologyToday.com