Not many people will argue that men and women are vastly different. I mean, where else would John Gray think of his bestseller Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus?
No matter what your stance on men versus women, a few things have been scientifically proven about the genders. For on, men have a higher pain threshold than women. Here's the kicker, women can cope better with pain than men.
So, the question remains of which gender really is tougher? What good does it do men to have a higher pain threshold if they don't know how to cope with the pain anyway? And women can typically cope better, but can't take as much pain in their bodies. So, it's quite the conundrum.
I think that most women who have given birth are pretty proud of their bodies for doing what they do. Men can only imagine wha giving birth is like. Obviously they can't go through it themselves. Also, it doesn't do any good to describe menstrual pain to them because they can't relate to that either.
Now, there are a few medical facilities with labor simulators. The simulators tend to get the job done of answering men's "what's birth like" question.
Otherwise, most men are left guessing or trying to find things they can liken to birth. Good luck boys!
I guess they give it a good shot. Here are 15 guys attempting to describe what childbirth actually feels like. enjoy!
15 A Backwards Dry Heave
Some men just don't have the ability to grasp what birth is actually like. Okay, most men don't possess this ability. I guess we shouldn't blame them. We women are the ones with the bits and pieces to make babies enter the world.
One man described his own take on birth as a backwards dry heave. Here's Dane talking about his daughter's birth:
"I had no idea what to expect when my wife gave birth to my daughter. It was awesome and horrible all at the same time, if that makes any sense. All I could see was my wife experience some sort of internal upheaval. Honestly, birth seemed like a backwards dry heave. No, it was the dry heave of all dry heaves and when it was over, my wife had dry heaved a baby out her body."
14 An Alien Eating It's Way Out Of You
Many men....MANY men describe birth in alien terminology, so it's not surprise that one of the points on this list is alien in nature. Granted, not a lot of people think of birth as the wretched alien trying to burst its way out of Sigourney Weaver like in Alien.
Danny did get a taste of the alien life when he was by his wife's side during childbirth. Here's the scoop:
"Katie was a total champ. I can't belittle anything that beautiful woman did while giving birth. As much as I'd like to think of my sweet baby girl as the perfect little angel, I swear she looked like an alien when her head was out, but my wife hadn't pushed the rest of her out.
Her squinty little eyes were tightly shut and she was all scrunched up like she was really ticked off. A thought flashed through my mind - that I didn't express - that my baby was really an alien eating its way out of my wife. Horrid, I know, but after so many hours of laboring with Katie I think my brain was fried!"
13 Shark Bite In The Gut
As you know, the medical world has advanced in so many different ways. Regarding childbirth, one way is that C-sections are incredibly common. While men can hardly find the words to describe a vaginal birth, they have a tougher time with a cesarean birth.
This was the case with Tim and his wife Gretchen during the birth of their son. Read on for the full description:
"Gretchen's labor was progressing more slowly than we and the doctor felt that it should. It came to the point where our baby Jayden was experiencing a lot of stress. The doctor opted for a C-section and we were all for it by then.
As my wife laid there on the operating table, I secretly wanted to look while they performed the C-section, but I waited for their cue. I watched them basically pull my son out of my wife's body, leaving a gaping hole where he had been. I just kept thinking that this way worse than a shark bite in the gut. She was nearly sawed in half - okay, that might be little exaggerated, but..."
12 A Full-Body Spasm
Like mentioned before, men don't always realize that birth doesn't just involved our genitals. Everything has to align on the inside of a woman's body for it all to progress properly. This involves a woman's entire body.
Birth is such a full-body experience, as Ryan would soon come to find out.
"Julianna wanted very much to have a non-medicated birth in a birthing center. I supported her decision, but didn't quite grasp all that childbirth would entail.
Birth, to me, seemed like Julianna was having a full-body spasm...over and over and over until a baby came out. She was totally okay with breathing through the contractions, changing positions, and all of that stuff. I was the one sort of having a panic attack.
Watching your wife go through spasm after spasm isn't the greatest thing and I can't even imagine experiencing it for myself."
11 Injury To The Family Jewels
Most men try to relate to birth by imagining what it would feel like for a baby to come out of their private parts. This is a little hard to do because nothing is technically supposed to come out of their parts. But, they can understand how it feels to get injured in that delicate region.
Apparently, this seemed to help Reggie understand what his girlfriend went through during birth.
"Tammy is way to tough for me to mess with. I saw the women push a baby out her hoo ha and didn't even cry. I cried when a frisbee hit me in the nuts last weekend during a game of Ultimate Frisbee.
All these special lady parts expand and accommodate this huge-headed baby then you ladies just go paint your nails or something. OMG! I could never take that kind of injury then just walk it off. You the champs, 'nuff said!"
10 Breaking A Bone
While it's true that a woman's pelvic region and hip bones have to widen to fit a baby through, it's much less dramatic than it sounds. Our bodies are made to do that. All those delightful hormones even make that region loosey goosey so they move correctly when it's baby time.
Zane had hard time grasping the fact that his wife what sort of made for this baby having business because of the bone thing.
"Delaney has the most beautiful and feminine figure. I love her curves and her hips are oh so delicious. I thought delivering a baby would break her bones, though. At least below her belly button.
To this day, I swear that giving birth is like breaking all the bones in your lower quadrant. How can they move like that? Babies have ginormous heads! I know our baby did. Delaney was like, 'babe, my hips open up for the baby,' but I still think birth is bone crushing."
9 Being Ripped In Half
Episiotomies have been fairly popular for quite some time now. Some people are for them while others think they're the devil. No matter which way you fall, it's true that giving birth does cause tearing sometimes.
Rodney could only see stars when his wife gave birth. Well, really he was picturing the Greek gods as they've been portrayed to give birth...and that's some serious tearing.
"Kim is a very small lady and I had no idea how she was going to get that baby out. I was prepared for a C-section or forceps or whatever, because it truly seemed impossible to me.
When she was fully dilated and our son started to crown, I nearly passed out. All I could picture was my wife ripping in half like those pictures of deities from Greek mythology who would give birth in dramatic ways.
She didn't need any help at all. Maybe she is a goddess herself!"
8 The Flu X 100
Some of us women would like to believe that men are such extreme wimps that they really can never relate to what we go through with labor and delivery. Even menstrual pain and the full-body discomfort we feel during out cycle is far too foreign for them to understand.
But what they can relate to is illness. Trever and Jeanie's story proves this:
"I've never seen my wife like that before. She was shaking all over with this look of both determination and horror in her face. The drugs were helping her pain level, but were making her body react pretty crazy.
I'm not sure what to think of birth, but it seems to me that the whole process is like a seriously bad case of the flu. You know the kind where you feel like you're going to die, but then you get better - only in birth, the getting better is getting to hold your baby."
7 Relentless Waves Of Torture
Remember the simulator machines that some men voluntarily hook themselves up to in order to experience what labor feels like? Yes, well we have a story about that. Darnell wanted to prove to his wife that he was tough enough to give birth just like she was, so off he went to try a simulator.
"Gracie kept telling me about how she'd given birth and she was tough and this and that. Of course, she told me these things when I would complain about a head cold or whatever.
When I actually tried the simulator, I thought I was going to die. Seriously, it wasn't just one bout of pain, it was wave upon wave. I guess that's how the electricity in the simulator machines work and I guess that's how muscles work during labor, too.
It wasn't labor, it was torture. I guarantee that I'm going to complain about my dang head colds, but I will never again say that I am tougher than that woman!"
6 Unbelievably Exhausting
One thing we can all agree on about childbirth is that is it undeniably exhausting. Even men can see that plain as day. Men and women alike believe that exhaustion plays a huge role in how a person react to discomfort, especially during labor.
Robbie describes his experience with childbirth and exhaustion.
"Dedra had been awake all night in discomfort. I'd managed to stay awake for some of it, but mostly it was her and Netflix. Come to find out, she was in labor. Her labor lasted for what seemed like forever! She was such a trooper, though.
I just think it's the most awful thing how exhausting pregnancy is then labor is even more exhausting, and then a woman has to do the very hardest part when she's nearly depleted of all energy. It's insane! I don't know how you women do it. I don't know how Dedra did it, but I can't imagine the fatigue she faced all those hours.
But, in the end she had this amazing burst of energy that seemed to make up it all. I don't know. Nature is nuts!"
5 Hit By A Train, Bus, Or Any Moving Vehicle
Some women enter into the labor and delivery roomed with a full face of makeup and designer clothes. Most of the time, their perfect face is running with sweat and there is at least three types of fluid drenching their designer clothing. In other words, they look as if they've been hit by a train.
Aaron and Kathy shared their own train wreck story.
"I think having a baby is a lot like getting hit by a train, or a bus, or any violently moving vehicle. Not kidding.
I entered into that delivery room thinking I knew what to expect. I was a good husband and read all the books, but I honestly thought the action only happened down yonder. I never thought it would be such a full-body experience for Kathy.
It took every single muscle she had to survive labor and push that baby out. She looked like a doll going in and a hot mess after it was all said and done. I'll never tell her that, though."
4 Being Stabbed
As you know, there are fabulous simulators so that men can experience what birth is like for us women. Maybe men who subject themselves to this are just naive or the partners who encourage it are sadists. Either way, our next fellow Dave wants to experience the "shock" of birth as it stabs him in the gut.
"When Lucy was having contractions, she would double over like someone was stabbing her or something. It was such a shock to her muscles that it seemed she wasn't in control of her own body.
I'm going to be honest, I'd like to experience what she felt during those contractions because someone could have photoshopped a knife in a picture of her and it would have seemed realistic."
3 A Huge Number Two
You've probably heard both men and women say something about pooping out a baby. Well, it's true that as a baby descends down the birth canal the head puts pressure on the same nerves as a bowel movement does. This doesn't necessarily mean that you "poop out a baby," of course.
Daniel grasped on to this comparison 150% in attempts to try to understand birthing pangs.
"When Rebekah was in labor, she kept saying that she had to poop. I thought it was such a weird time to go sit on the toilet because what if the baby fell out?
Yeah, apparently there is no 'falling out' when you have babies. Anyway, she was pretty adamant about the whole pooping thing, but the nurse assured us that this was normal the further the baby got down in the birth canal.
So, a few days after our daughter arrived into this world, I - and this is gross - had a huge deuce. It was pretty difficult to get out. I told Bekah that I kind of know how she felt. She just gave me the death stare, so I guess I'm way off with the pooping thing."
2 Pain From Out Of This World
Only super humans like heroes and demigods are supposed to be able to endure such extreme levels of pain. Well, men find out during childbirth that women also fall under this category of super human.
Nate and Lexi saw the light together as they experienced the birth of their son.
"I'm not going to lie, I think childbirth is a straight up curse for women! I love that my girl is so strong and that my baby is here in this world, but wow!
When Lexi was having contractions, I thought that was as bad as it got. Then bigger and longer contractions started and then she had to do all of that pushing. Everything went as planned, but it just seemed like she would come to her limit then more would be asked of her. I feel like you'd have to have super powers to endure the kind of birthing pain that's out-of-this-world."
1 Someone Kicking You Repeatedly In The Stomach
Getting kicked in the stomach seemed like such a trivial way to explain birth, but for men who take this kind of beating on the regular, it might not seem so silly. For instance, boxers have to take enormous punches to many areas of their body. The stomach is one of the most popular places to aim for in the ring.
Joe tells us how he relates his punches to birth.
"I don't know how crazy this is, but I think birth is a lot like the boxing ring. I'm a boxer and I've been trapped in that corner getting hit repeatedly. You either have to fight your way out or wait for the bell.
Giving birth is more like being trapped in the corner enduring repeated belly blows with NO bell to be heard. You just have to suck it up and take it. Not even men do that. We look for a way out of the corner. You women just look at that other boxer straight in the face and say, bring it!'"
Sources: www.reddit.com, www, www.cosmopolitan.com, www.redbookmag.com