All parents have days when they feel like the worst mom or dad in the world. The day their little one falls over nothing at all and hurts their knee, parents will blame themselves. That first time mom and dad utter the words they'd swore they’d never say “Because I said so” or the afternoon they won't believe their kid is sick and then they throw up all over the floor.
The thing is, we all have days like that when we get it wrong, when we make mistakes when we take shortcuts and make a mess of things. Any parent who claims they haven’t had days like that is either a liar or is too stupid to realize that they have made a mess of things.
When you are feeling bad about yourself, it is always therapeutic to take a look at how other people are doing and see that you are not such a trainwreck after all. So to cheer you up on an “I am the world's worst parent” day, here are some photographs of genuinely terrible parenting that will make you feel like a parenting rock star. Unless of course, it is you in one of the photos, in which case, you suck.
15Hang On I'll Just Grab The Camera
Children are designed to shock you by hanging in inexplicable positions from places you find difficult to believe. I suspect this little one had opened up the drawer and climbed in an attempt to get to the top or peer into another drawer.
Obviously, she was not very good at this and fell backward into this worryingly “I think my daughter might have snapped her shin in half” position.
Of course, this in itself is not bad parenting. I myself have found our children in the most bizarre place, but did you really need to go and grab the camera for a shot of this moment while your child hung there by her leg? Maybe you might have wanted to think about helping her out of the drawer while her leg was still intact? Just a thought.
14Mommy, Why Are They Doing That?
One of the benefits of being a parent is sometimes being able to get your child the toys you always wanted when you were a kid. The danger in doing this is that often your children are not interested in playing with your childhood dream toy, or even worse, they do want to play with it and exclude you.
However, if the occasion arises that you are sitting happily on the floor playing with the Lego set you had longed for, make sure your kiddo isn’t accessing something they shouldn’t on the computer right behind you.
Either that or you and whoever else in the house who watches adult content on the internet must learn to clear their web browsers or use the incognito tab, or at the very least remember to exit the page before your preschooler learns a lot more anatomy than they need to.
13Sister, What Sister?
Once you have more than one child, making sure they play nicely together can be a trying task. If you are lucky, all siblings will get along, want to play the same game at the same time and take it in turns to go first.
In reality, when you put three or more children together in a room you never know if you are going to get giggles or screams, or even worse, silence. When the noises stop it is essential to go and investigate what they are doing, and anything else is irresponsible.
Like on this occasion when the two older children obviously convinced their youngest sibling that she should stand still while they built a fun wall all around her. Alternatively, do we really know it was the older kids? Perhaps mom was just trying to keep one of them in one place for a moment.
12Sorry, He's Always Been A Slob
Something you have to give up for a while when you have a child, or you will lose your sanity is the desire to have a spotless home. Once you have a toddler in the house, you will realize that vacuuming up after them every 10 seconds is futile and you might as well wait until the end of the day and do it all in one fell swoop.
However, you might want to think twice before letting your little one empty out the nacho cheese Doritos onto their lap while sitting on the sofa. Not only are you looking at bad nutritional choices but really, you want your kid to think it is perfectly ok to sit and eat like this?
If nothing else think of the partner he is going to have in the future and imagine how pissed off they are going to be if they have to unslob them!
11Toddler 1, Daddy 0
Oh, the joys of potty training. Those first heady moments when you stick your child in a pair of knickers and hover around them asking every 10 minutes if they want to pee in the potty. The novelty of this wears off in about 39 minutes, and you will quickly become too distracted at the exact moment your child's bladder reaches its tipping point, and an unfeasibly large puddle of wee appears on the floor.
It seems that this father made the rookie mistake of either sitting an unpotty trained child wearing underwear on his lap or he got too close to the infant fountain. We also know that daddy must have added this to the chart because it has a cross face. If mom had of drawn the face, it would have no doubt been laughing.
10Do You Have The Number Of A Good Plumber?
Never, ever, under any circumstances leave anything in the bathroom that could be used by a terrible toddler to fill the toilet. Sometimes this will not be enough, and you will have like I did, a child who would stuff anything they could get their hands on into the toilet bowl. In this case, you just have to put a lock on the outside of the door and wait for their fascination with putting things in the toilet wears off.
This parent failed on two counts. Not only did they have a plentiful supply of toilet cloggers right there in the bathroom, but they also left the little tornado out of their sight for 3.5 seconds. As every parent knows this is plenty long enough for a two-year-old to wreak havoc on across the entire floor of a house.
9Stuff Just Got Real
Next time you discover your ungrateful demon of a child has made a mess while you were making their sandwich, remember this picture and remember it could always be worse. Much, much, worse.
One thing worse than this is when they undo the zip on one of those giant bean bags that you thought were a great idea. Let me save you some trouble. They seem like something the kids will love, and they will for about a day and a half. Then they will ignore them, and you will always be picking it up and moving it about, wondering why you bought the thing in the first place. Then, about seven months later when you are least expecting it, they undo the zip and let out all of the tiny polystyrene beads.
Those beads will clog up your vacuum, and you’ll still be finding them in the carpet years later.
8Just Shoot Me Now
“I know,” said Grandma, “We’ll buy him that Spider-Man thingy he keeps pointing out in the store. He’d like that for his birthday.”
“I don’t think that's a good idea” you will say “It might get a bit messy, it shoots silly string you know.”
“Don't be ridiculous?” says Grandma feeling like it’s perfectly ok to overrule you because she had children before you and so obviously she knows better “He can just play with it in the garden.”
Grandma buys said Spiderman web shooting silly string thingamajig despite your protests and sneaks it to him just before getting out of the car.
You are driving down the highway when suddenly 9342 feet off silly string explodes from your son's wrist and sticks to every surface in your vehicle. Much hilarity ensues. Not.
7Always Be Prepared
It is always good to teach your child life skills. Better than buying them the ingredients to make cookies, find a recipe together, have them make a list, shop together and bake. This basic organizational skill of making a list can be applied in many ways, I just never imagined being used in the way it has been in the photo above.
Ten out of ten for this child in planning. Apparently, she doesn't want to be caught in a situation where she doesn’t know what to do. If I were her parent, I would be both impressed and horrified at the same time.
I particularly like the way Hello Kitty is looking down from the corner of the note and am impressed by the use of the correct “their’s” in her second to the last point. Proper spelling and grammar are important for a future evil genius.
There are so many troubling things about this photo. Why is the shade on the upright lamp at a slightly odd angle? Who has come in and stolen all of the furniture? Why is the photographer in this case lurking outside the room taking pictures instead of going into the room and stopping the potential ritual murder?
Sometimes it is fun to sneak up behind your kids and watch what they are up to without them knowing you are there. It is usually slightly less fun when one child is laying flat on the floor while the other one stands above them wielding an axe.
Not only that, if he were to chop into his sister right there it would make a terrible mess on that pale carpet. Any responsible parent would get him to do it outside or at least provide a nice thick tarp to protect the shagpile.
5It's Not Your Color Darling
There is time when you just need a little “me time.” When, if only for 15 minutes you would like to veg out and zone out and do what you want to do without the kids begging for yet another ounce of your soul.
This dad thinks he has got the perfect solution and indeed, at first glance it looks like he has got the situation nailed. He gets to sit and play X-Box as long as he offers up his feet for his daughter to paint his toes. Dad’s happy, daughter’s happy, result right?
Wrong. What dad doesn’t know at this point is that there isn’t a drop of nail polish remover in the house and he’s going to forget about his painted nails until he starts getting funny looks from his mates in the changing room at the gym.
Remember, there is no “me time” without consequence, you always pay.
4I Am Fighting Nice And Clean
Earlier on we mentioned that once you have two or more children be prepared for the occasional skirmish. The trouble with that is that it puts you in an awkward position. You can tell your daughter to stop, teaching her kindness, compassion and such. You can also go outside, comfort your crying son letting him know mommy is there for him when he is upset, or you can grab a camera.
The benefit of the third option is that you get a great picture to post on your social media channels and don’t have to get wet by giving your child a hug or joining in the game and getting soaked by your daughter. It is a win for everyone. Except maybe your son who will grow up with a mysterious, irrational fear of girls in polka dot dresses holding water guns.
3Dangerous? Why Ever Would You Think That
This jolly family outing puts “What the F*ck were you thinking” right up there alongside “Are your frigging kidding me?” “How stupid can you be?” and “some people are just too stupid to be allowed to have kids.”
It is hard to know where to start picking apart all of the things that are wrong with this. The fact that they have a baby in a bicycle trailer, behind a moped on the freaking highway just goes to show that just when you think you have seen every last example of people being too damn stupid to live, let alone be responsible for another human being another comes along and shows they are worse.
Just keep your fingers crossed nobody crashes into them because in those circumstances it is usually the innocent child that comes out worse off and not the idiots that put them in a dangerous position.
2Some Things You Should Never McGyver
All responsible parents take the time to ensure their most precious little bundle of joy is safely transported at all times in a government approved, made for the job, baby seat, correctly fitted to your car or bicycle.
Other parents choose instead, to jerry-rig an old bike child seat on the front of their ATV so they can swing by the gas station with both of the children along for the ride.
When you feel stupid or feel bad about yourself because you inadvertently put your child in danger, think back to this photo and be secure in the knowledge that nothing you consciously do could ever be as ludicrous as this.
Nowhere, in any corner of a sane person's mind, would this ever come up as an appropriate solution to a problem. Unless the problem was “How to do I out two of my children in a ridiculous amount of danger at the same time?”
1Just What Where You Thinking?
Rarely do words fail me. I can always think of a funny or snarky comment about most things. When I was looking for the photographs featured in this article, I saw many, many ridiculous pictures but at least I could kind of see where the parent was going with the images.
This one, not so much. A baby, in a carcass. Why?
The next time you plonk your child down on the sofa and tell them to stay there, or if you ever claim that this cardboard box is fun to play in so that you can keep the little bugger in one place do not feel any guilt about your choices.
There is nothing in the universe you could do that could ever rival placing your prettily dressed daughter inside the dead body of an animal hanging from your roof.
StrangeBeaver.com, Buzzfeed.com, Parenting Fails, Mental Floss, Bored Panda
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