Sometimes moms need a good laugh. When pregnant and going through all those body changes (among everything else!) it can feel good to just, well, laugh about it. After all, they do say that laughter is the best medicine! Laughing at something funny can make anyone feel good inside and possibly change one's mood for the better for the rest of the day.
Pregnancy can often be anything but funny. Your aches and pains, and just overall can't-wait-for-this-to-be-over feeling, can make you not even want to crack a smile. Yet, once you have your baby and the pregnancy is said and done, there is nothing quite like looking back and laughing about it all!
Pregnancy can take over our lives. It is a fact. When you are pregnant, well, that is what you are! You will likely go through everything that most expecting mamas experience, such as emotional outbursts, food cravings, gaining weight, having a baby shower, and much more. And when baby is born, you have other things to worry about such as breastfeeding, giving your child siblings, and much more.
Read on for some downright hilarious jokes about pregnancy, childbirth, and more! If you are pregnant, you may need to run to the bathroom (perhaps more than once!) after reading some of these jokes. If you are cradling your newborn baby or yelling at your toddler, these jokes may either make you want more kids or make you want to close up shop for good! Enjoy and remember, laughter is the best medicine!
15 Pregnancy Cravings
What are the most common pregnancy cravings? Pregnancy women crave all kinds of things. We have all heard the common craving of pickles and ice cream. But the list goes on and on when it comes to cravings that moms-to-be desire.
The answer is: For men to be the ones who get pregnant! Come on, you must have laughed at that one. When pregnancy is getting the best of you, when you are experiencing morning sickness, sleep exhaustion, and just uncomfortableness everywhere, your partner may say, it's going to be alright. That might make you angry, if only he knew how you really felt! Unfortunately, us women are the strong ones, and the ones who have to go through pregnancy. Our ultimate craving will likely never be indulged!
14 Homegrown Terror
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a terrorist? Okay, you may be thinking, what kind of joke is this?! But really think about it. What is the main difference between a woman about to have a baby, who is totally uncomfortable and ready for it to be over with, and a person who wishes to commit an act of terror??
The answer is: You can negotiate with a terrorist! There are all kinds of specialized police units and FBI agents who deal with terrorist negotiations on a constant basis. But when it comes to a pregnant woman. Yep, she is not going to negotiate. Good luck even trying to attempt any type of negotiation, no matter how big or how small. It is her way or the highway!
13 Boy Or Girl?
What is the best and more reliable way to determine a baby's gender? One big question on every parent-to-be's mind is whether the baby will be a boy or a girl. People love to guess which gender the baby will be based on all kinds of things, such as how the mom to be is carrying the baby, if she had morning sickness, and more.
Answer: Childbirth! How true and funny is this?! There is no better way to determine the gender of the baby than to wait for him or her to be born. There are lots of parents to be who do wish to wait until birth, whereas others try blood tests, special ultra sounds, and more to find out the gender the moment after they pee on the stick!
12 Worse Than Childbirth
How is being pregnant like being a child again? Does this joke have you stumped? Are you wondering how in the world being pregnant can be like turning back into a child?! After all, you are growing a baby- a child- so it seems strange to think of yourself like a child again, in any way, shape, or form.
Answer: Someone is always telling you what to do. Come on, you must agree with this, and have a good laugh about it, too! When a woman is pregnant, it seems like people treat her like she is incapable of so many things. People really seem to enjoy telling pregnant women what she can and can't do, what she can and can't drink, and so on.
11 Oddest Stage Of Pregnancy
What's the strangest and oddest stage of pregnancy? Think long and hard about this one. Which stage in your pregnancy is the oddest? Which one makes people wonder or scratch their heads? Of course, no stage is really odd, but it can definitely feel that way sometimes!
Answer: That stage where people are unsure whether they should say, Congratulations! Or whether they should buy you a gym membership. Pregnant ladies everywhere know this stage well! It is typically during that first trimester or into the second trimester. People cannot really tell you are pregnant but also notice you are gaining a little bit of weight. You might get that little pouch- but it's a baby in there! Have a good laugh about it, because we all know how true it is.
10 Toddler Time
How is a pregnant woman like a toddler? Can it really be true that a pregnant woman can be compared to a toddler?! Try to think long and hard about this one. If you already have a toddler at home, you may be able to guess. There is something pretty unique to toddlers and pregnant women, that they both have in common- and it's funny!
Answer: She outgrows her clothes every week! Are you nodding your head in agreement? Toddlers are notorious for outgrowing their clothes in the blink of an eye. And, well, so are pregnant women! Expecting mamas go from wearing a bigger size in regular clothes to maternity outfits, and then, who knows! At the very end of pregnancy, many moms to be find it hard to fit into just about anything.
9 Natural Disaster
Will I feel pain during childbirth? For those who have never been through the experience of childbirth, many questions will be asked about the process. For most of us, we want to know how much it hurts! Is it painful? And if so, just how painful will it be? Will you be able to handle it?
Answer: No it is just pressure. Just like a tornado is an air current! Sometimes family members and friends, and even doctors and nurses, will tell expecting women that it is not actually pain you feel during childbirth, it is simply pressure. Yeah, right! Ask any woman who has been through childbirth, those contractions freaking hurt! Nobody calls a tornado an air current, right?! A tornado is a tornado, just like childbirth often can be painful (yet, totally worth it!).
8 Be Prepared
What do you give a new mom so that she is prepared for anything? We need to arm our brand new mamas with all that they will need to care for their newborn babies. What could we give them that will make their transition into motherhood that much easier?
Answer: A diaper bag of tricks! Haha! All new moms certainly need a diaper bag of tricks. In fact, moms need an arsenal of supplies, let's face it! From loads of diapers, wipes, toys that make noise, change of outfits, blankets, burp cloths, and so much more, new moms might need a little something extra to get them through those first days and weeks. What would you put in a diaper bag of tricks for a new mom??
7 Remembering The Birth Canal
Doctor speaking to the dad to be... have you ever been present at a childbirth before? Your partner may have lots of questions or concerns regarding the impending birth of his baby. He may feel confident all will go well, or he may be more of a nervous wreck than you are! Sometimes it can be hard to gauge what he is thinking or feeling.
The answer is: Yes, just once. It was very dark... then it was very bright! Haha! Did you get that one? The doctor asks the dad-to-be if he has been present at a childbirth, and well, everyone has- their own! Of course, it is all in fun, nobody actually remembers being born. But imagine if we did remember?!
6 Time To Move
When will my baby move? So many pregnant women wonder this very thing, when will the baby move? It is amazing that we are able to grow babies inside our bellies, and then care for them once they have been born. It is truly a miracle!
Answer: Hopefully by the time they head off for college! We got you there. It is a miracle, that is for sure, if your child moves out of the house by the time they are ready for college! So if you are wondering when baby will move.... it may be in about 18-20 years, or longer. As for in the womb, enjoy those movements while you can. It may be really hard getting them to do any type of movement, especially once they hit the teenage years.
5 Weight Gain
How much weight have you gained? Let's face it, pregnant women everywhere get bombarded with this question. At no other time in your life will people think it is socially acceptable to ask a loved one or a complete stranger about their weight gain! Yet, expecting moms get asked this on a regular basis. Time to come up with a good answer!
Answer: Enough to make your life pretty miserable if I sit on you. Pregnant women are supposed to gain weight, you are growing a baby inside of you! It is no ones business how much or how little weight you have gained while carrying that baby around. So give them a good answer, especially if you are close to your due date and huge- they will not know what to say!
4 Baby Shower
Do I have to have a baby shower? Baby showers seem to go hand in hand with pregnancy. Many expecting moms-to-be have one, often hosted by their dear friends or family members. It is usually reserved for just the women in the pregnant lady's life. Is that what we are saying in regards to a baby shower??
Answer: Not if you change the baby's diaper really quickly! We tried to warn you! Sure, we got you thinking it was the baby shower where you are showered with love and gifts for your soon-to-be bundle of joy, but in this case, we mean after the baby is born when you are changing the diaper! If you are having a little boy, watch out for those showers!
3 Kids After 35
Should I have a baby after 35? The question on the minds of many women is whether or not to have a baby after 35. Should you? Is it safe? What are the risks to you and the baby? It is something many of us struggle with and wonder about what is the right decision.
Answer: No, 35 children is really enough kids! Did you see that one coming?! While you were thinking about the age of 35, we were talking about the number of kids! Certainly 35 kids is pure insanity. Can you even imagine?! So if you think you should have more kids after 35 of them... good luck with that, and now please go and have a good laugh, you deserve it.
2 No Soda For You
All pregnant women love (that is, sarcastically) when someone comes up to them to tell them, You know you aren't supposed to drink soda, right? People love to share their thoughts, and for some reason, tons of people feel comfortable doing so to a pregnant woman. We're not sure why that is. But wherever you go, you are bound to be on the receiving end of suggestions you don't need.
So if you get asked that soda question (and let's face it, a little soda never hurt anyone!), come up with a witty reply... Well, then, what should I mix my Jack Daniels with? Haha! That will get them. Sure, soda isn't great, but alcohol is a definite no-no! The look on their face, whether a family member, friend, or stranger, will be so worth it.
1 Time For The Epidural
When is the best time to get an epidural? This is on everyone's mind, the mom-to-be and the expecting father. Is an epidural necessary? What does it feel like? When it the best time to get one? Epidurals are often a lifesaver for many parents to be, it makes everyone feel better!
Answer: Right after you find out your girlfriend/wife is pregnant! Oh, you thought we were talking about the expecting mother, huh? Nope! Dad-to-be should get his own epidural once he discovers his lady love is expecting a baby. Of course, we are only joking, but we can all be pretty sure any man would get an epidural to deal with his wife's nine long months of pregnancy if he could!!