Revenge is a dish best served by... mom... or at least in these 15 cases. Breastmilk is the holy grail of nutrient rich beverages, but people don’t necessarily want to down a bottle of it on a regular basis or pour it all over their cereal in the morning - well maybe some do, but that’s a different article for another day!
Besides being a deliciously beneficial drink for babies, it’s also a tasty tame way to get revenge on someone who wronged you, and most of the time that’s hubby! Sorry hubbies, but you’re easy targets! Breastmilk has certainly been a topic of debate amongst couples, does it taste good or does it taste yucky? You may deny ever having tasted your own breastmilk, but we all know you have, after all curiosity is a powerful thing and no one’s judging!
The 15 stories you’re about to read today are hilarious ways women came up with a way to utilize breastmilk to get the perfect payback on someone who stole from them, pranked them, taunted them, or just plain told them breastmilk was gross! Hey if it’s good enough for babies, it’s good enough for adults, right? Right?
15 Office Thief - Got What Was Comin' To 'Em
I would like to think we live in a world where people don't steal other people's stuff from the office fridge, but unfortunately putting your name on an item doesn't guarantee its protection. This one woman's coffee creamer continued to be stolen, and it got to a point where enough was enough! This breastfeeding mom took matters into her own hands and decided to fill the next coffee creamer up with, yup, you guessed it, some good old mother's milk!
Tired of running out of her favourite coffee creamer in the office, mom stuck a note to it addressed to the office sneak who simply stole the creamer without ever asking, the note said “surprise! You’ve been drinking my breast milk.” Now it can’t be proven if it was or wasn’t and I’m sure she’ll never know who actually took it, but I’m sure whoever it was won’t be stealing creamer again!
14 Breakfast Of Champions
Breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day, so why not start with a bowlful of breastmilk? This one mommy sure had a hankering for torturing dear old dad, not sure what he did to deserve this prank, but he certainly didn't handle it well! Daddy is just eating his cereal while holding baby, he should have been suspicious when baby tried to steal the bowl!
Mommy comes in the room asking how his cereal is and he knows something is up! She claims it's payback for when he threw the fake baby down during prenatal class, and dad just can't believe she would go so far as to feed him breast milk over that! He immediately barfs and heads to the washroom to continue barfing.
Watch full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK21zDAZnKw
13 This Is A Suspicious Salad...
If anyone ever offers you a creamy apple salad, politely decline, firstly because it sounds kind of gross and secondly because it may contain breastmilk! This mom decided to prank her husband not so stealthily with her breast milk infused dessert. A bowl of cereal or ice cream might have masked the prank better, but I’ll give her points for creativity with offering up an apple salad.
Hubby seems skeptical and observes the bowl for a moment, he says it “looks good and smells good” and then he goes for it. Mom stares on with an evil grin on her face which makes it all the more hilarious as dad begins to sweat a bit. This is payback for all the strange hidden ingredients dad has placed in Jello before! Despite his reservations, dad decides to be a good sport and takes a bite, turns out the secret ingredient isn’t so bad.
Watch full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZkbF0ROmPc
12 Never Ending Prank Wars
Prank wars can go on and on forever, especially for prankmasters who refuse to lose! This woman was doused with flour by her partner and it took her awhile to get it out of her hair, so what does she decide as the perfect payback for his crime? She asks her breastfeeding pal to donate some milk to feed him! Before he arrives home she pours the breast milk into a glass and mixes it with some real milk to mask the taste a bit. He’s already suspicious of the colour and unsure about drinking it, saying it looks yellow and that the colour reminds him of dish soap.
She convinces him it’s just soy milk and off he goes to finish the glass of what he believes to be a cold refreshing drink. He drinks it but doesn’t like the flavour, when she confesses it’s her friends breastmilk, he loses his mind!
Watch full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-ApVleSXr0
11 Very Rich Chocolate Milk
After expressing some milk this mom decides to fool her husband with a special mix of her very own breastmilk and some choco-milk powder. To be honest I think it would taste pretty good, but dad’s reaction says otherwise. After a single sip he gags and spits it out onto the floor unable to drink it at all!
He immediately asks if the concoction is breastmilk and although she doesn't answer right away, her giggles are a clear sign that that was no ordinary chocolate milk. He tells her it tastes salty and nasty and mom just can't stop laughing, telling him that if it’s good enough for their son, Grayson, then it should be good enough for him! I don’t know what daddy did, but he better get back on mommy’s good side or breastmilk might start making it into all his beverages!
Watch full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqmKiMzuTXY
10 Andy Cohen Does Dare
Andy Cohen got a taste of his own medicine when he was quick to judge Amber Tamblyn’s husband for enjoying the flavour of his wife’s breast milk. Hubby David Cross had been quoted as saying that the flavour of the milk is like a dessert, to which Andy found to be a little gross and impossible. Amber’s reply? Well Andy, would you like to try some fresh breastmilk I just so happened to pump before arriving to the studio? She even offered to use the breastmilk to create a cocktail of sorts.
Andy declined to try the cocktail but he did say he’d taste the pumped milk just to see what all the hype was about. He took a tiny sip and admitted it wasn’t too bad and it actually was very sweet. The audience taunts him with the words “chug, chug, chug” and Andy finishes a little more than half the bottle!
9 Kardashians Share Everything
A dare is a dare, and Khloe Kardashian is clearly not one to back down when she’s been challenged! Scott Disick offered Khloe $100 bucks to drink her sister Kourtney’s breastmilk, which was probably Kourtney’s idea in the first place since she seems to love a good prank - especially on one of her sisters.
Scott offers her $100 but Khloe is quick to negotiate more money, asking for $500 to take a sip. Scott tries to haggle her down to $400 for a chug of the breastmilk, but Khloe flat out refuses, so a sip for$500 it is! Khloe drives a hard bargain! This isn’t the first time a Kardashian has utilized a little boob milk on screen. Kourtney has used her breast milk to treat sister Kim’s psoriasis!
8 Sixteen Years Of Payback
This is definitely one way to torment your teenagers and potentially give them nightmares for years, but I’m sure it’s worth the hours of laughter you’ll get, as well as the sweet satisfaction of payback for all the hours of worrying that your teens put you through! This one mom decided to get back at her daughter by feeding her a spoonful of her breastmilk but passing it off as a new protein shake she’s trying out.
Her daughter tries it, but the look on her face immediately says, don’t invest in this shake, its nasty! As soon as she makes the face, mom confesses her little fib and her daughter is in complete shock about what she has just ingested. She gags and storms off towards the bathroom.
Watch full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QhWS1u-ocM
7 Tea Time? More Like Breastmilk Time
British television host Saira Khan admitted on live television that she put some of her breast milk into her husband’s tea. You may be asking, well, what did he do to deserve that sneaky switch? Saira admits that he did nothing, it was 50% pure curiosity on her part and the other 50% was to do with the fact that they had run out of milk. So she thought, well why not use what I’ve got? She doesn’t regret it for a second! In fact she seems quite proud of her little deception. She admits her husband had no clue that he was drinking breast milk and that it simply seemed lost in the drink, he asked if there was any milk in it at all to which she replied, “yeah, loads!” but that it was breast milk and not so potent in tea.
6 Surprise! You Like Breastmilk!
In an attempt to erase the stigma that breast milk is just a disgusting body fluid, these moms decided to put the debate out there in the form of a taste test of sorts. They wanted to prove that breast milk is not only nutritious but also delicious by feeding it to unsuspecting volunteers.
The little experiment is masked as an eating competition at first, and then they took to placing it in cereal and then passing it off as a milk substitute. The result? No one seemed to mind the flavour at all!
Some say it tasted different but no one said the milk tasted bad. They later reveal the fact that they were feeding them pumped breast milk and no one was really disgusted by that fact, some actually giggled and said so what, it’s good!
Watch full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2nPASb3bJ8
5 Tastes Familiar, Doesn't It?
I’m not sure that a breastmilk lollipop would taste like very much, it strikes me that the taste would be very subtle, thus making it pretty easy to prank someone into thinking it was just a regular lollipop with nothing too special about it. The experiment involved a number of willing individuals being asked to select a lollipop from a pile of lollipops, stating that the colours were all the same but the flavours were potentially different.
People sniff it and also notice a different texture but what they can’t do is describe what flavour they tasted when asked to identify it. One person says it’s a bit milky, one says it tastes like butter and cheese, and they’re not that far off. Once told what they were tasting, the census was that it tasted fine but still felt gross to ingest.
Watch full video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tMoeADHQ2I
4 My Secret Ingredient
I may never look at a brownie the same way again after writing this article. I've heard of special brownies but nothing like these ones! A mom reveals she used some of her breast milk as an ingredient for the brownies she donated to a school's bake sale. I have a feeling this mom either isn’t too fond of the school or perhaps not too fond of the PTA parents. This whole kerfuffle feels a lot like payback for something.
The mom posted on Facebook, telling the tale of using her breastmilk to finish off her recipe that called for milk. Mom explains that she was all out of milk and didn’t see any harm in using a small amount of breastmilk to complete the recipe. The post also added that other parents found out and were freaking out, she asked the internet their opinion, was it really that big a deal? Some answers were hilarious while others were flat out horrified.
3 Scram Or I'll Squirt
Mom shamers be warned, some moms will not only spit back at your judgments, they'll full on squirt you! While out with her baby and husband, a woman noticed a mother breastfeeding her baby in a public park, nothing illegal about that, but this mother found it offensive as it was a public space and her husband was easily distracted by the sight.
She walked up to the breast feeding mom about finding a private space to feed, essentially shaming her for an act that is legally acceptable. The breastfeeding mom told her where to go and even squirted milk in her general direction. We often hear stories of men taking issue with public breastfeeding, but being shamed by another woman..? The offended mom took to Facebook to shame her further, but the internet wasn't here for it!
2 Seductive Milk Selfie
I think most mom's will agree that breastfeeding doesn't make them feel very sexy, I mean some mothers have even said it feels a lot like being a cow, being constantly milked, essentially a food source for another, smaller, human being. What makes us feel even less sexy is the inevitable milk barf. It's like something out of the Exorcist! This one dad certainly picked the wrong night to request a sexy selfie from his exhausted breast feeding wife; she replied back with the photo above, an entire chest full of sexy milk barf! Ha!
This first time mom had one barfer of a baby, stating that she would have to change baby 3 times a day and 3 times a night! She also mentioned baby never barfed on dad, so with a bit of spite, mom sent another sexy selfie of her chest, this time with a bra full of baby barf!
1 April Fools
As a self-professed ice-cream-a-holic, I’m not sure I’d appreciate anyone messing with my ice cream, but I have to admit this is an extremely hilarious prank. On April Fools a new ice cream was introduced by a company called Mama Moo, claiming that they were the first company to create and provide breastmilk infused ice cream!
It was supposed to be hilarious and bring attention to the importance of breastmilk for babies but it backfired as people really just thought it was real, which got a lot of backlash as just another weird concoction people are trying to sell in the name of “good health.” The joke might have missed the mark on the internet, but it sure isn’t lost on me, “Double-D Dark Chocolate” and “Vanilla Boo-Berry” are pretty hilarious and creative.
Sources: BeingAMom.life, TheSun.co.uk, DailyMail.co.uk, DeathAndTaxesMag.com, FoxNews.com, food.blog.austin360.com, YouTube.com