Children are born and raised under the influence of their parents. The examples a parent sets is what gives the child their core values. Most parents want to raise their kids to be independent and responsible. But although both parents can influence their child, there is one who has more influence than the other. The mother’s relationship with the child is a bit different than that of the father’s.
A mother’s connection with her child is something that can’t be explained easily in words. She loves her child unconditionally. She raises them, cares for them, and does everything she can to help them when she can. Her love and care is the primary foundation for the child. However, what happens when that love becomes too intimate?
A mother who coddles her child too much creates an unhealthy co-dependency in her child. It also can create an unnatural bond between a mother and son. These unhealthy habits can grow over time and even into adulthood. It can affect both the mother and son’s relationships. If the unhealthy habits are not recognized, they can become intimacy issues the older the son becomes. In these 15 stories, we examine the unhealthy habit of both the mother and the son.
15 Twenty Years Old And Still A Baby
It’s not uncommon to see a mother and son who are still close even though the child is an adult. It happens more and more with each generation. This unhealthy relationship not only hinders the son, but also the mother. And if a boundary is not formed, this will cause issues with the son’s future relationships. It is also unhealthy for the mother since she is focusing her energy on the son and not her own life.
The reasoning behind a mother who cannot let go could have something to do with her marital status or a trauma that may have happened. The key to breaking this habit is to address the real issues. This can be easier said than done. Still, no matter the cause, it is not healthy for either the mother or son. The son will continue to be dependent on the mother, thus feeding both of their unhealthy habits.
14 Is This Healthy?
After four years, many things can come between a relationship. A mother coming between a relationship can be the number one reason. The mother can often add her own opinions and try to influence what happens like when the couple should get married, when to start thinking about having children, etc. There are an array of topics a mother will try to impose on a relationship.
As this girl has addressed, it is driving her crazy. The question one has to ask themselves: is it healthy or not? Is the girlfriend looking for any excuse to get out of the relationship or does she envy the mother and son relationship? This can sometimes be the case. However, there are times when the son’s relationship with his mother is too intense for the relationship. The best thing for the son to do is stand up for his girlfriend if he truly cares for her, not the mother.
13 Let's Just Get Married
There is no case by case question about this one. It’s strange and way out of the comfortable mother/son zone. Experts often refer to this as confusion or misconstrued emotions. However, this goes beyond confusion and emotion. Anyone in their right mind would know it’s not appropriate to marry their child. How about the fact that it is illegal?
A mother and son who decide it is okay to get married are too close for comfort. They need to have some deep therapy and break this bad bond of attachment. The term "unhealthy" doesn’t seem a strong enough word to describe a situation such as this one. No mother should be this desperate to keep her child in her life. The one in this situation who needs sympathy is the son. He was conditioned his whole life by a mom who deemed it okay to eventually get married to her son.
12 His Mom Still Buying His PJs
Again, like the decorating complaint, this one could be a topic up for debate. There are many occasions in which a mother might buy her son a set of pajamas: his birthday, Christmas, or a clearance sale. It seems perfectly acceptable to purchase pajamas for such an occasion, no matter the age. People do it all the time, especially during the holidays.
However, there are a few people who think this is not normal. They believe it is an intimate garment and shouldn’t be bought by family. A case in which this may become true is when the son asks the mother to buy him some pajamas on a regular day instead of going to get them himself. This is when the son is referring back to his mother and leaning on her instead of being independent. If the son is in need of some new pajamas, he should be more than capable of going to get them himself.
11 His Mom Buys His Food
If you are starting a relationship only to discover your 25-year old boyfriend still has his mom buy his groceries, you may want to analyze your relationship before it goes any further. This unhealthy relationship sign between a mother and son does not offer promising prospects. The first question you want to ask yourself, is he worth the struggle? The next step, making him realize how insane it is to have his mother buying his groceries at his age. Open his eyes.
Yes, there are circumstances in which a person may need a little help: hard work load, traveling, or sickness. On occasion, there is nothing wrong with asking for some help. Life happens and sometimes the best of us need some help. But to have your mother get your groceries for you on a regular basis is not healthy. It is not independent. Someone will have to push him to become a big boy.
10 Let's Make A Baby
Call it whatever title fits your fancy, but incest is incest. There is no other way to describe it. However, this woman claims to have Genetic Sexual Attraction toward her son, who she had given up for adoption 30 years ago. Her son, who is soon to be her husband, sent her a letter in England once he tracked her down in his thirties. The two met and the mother claims it sparked at first touch.
Now, the couple is looking into ways to fight the system and have a child of their own. That is, after the son divorces his wife. Then, the mother and son couple are going to find and fight for a legal way to be together and to be parents together. This story is by far, hands down, the creepiest of moms and sons who are too close for comfort.
9 Son And Mother-In-Law Fall In Love
It’s not uncommon for a soon to be mother-in-law to notice her soon to be son-in-law. Then, once the marriage is done and they are now family, the mother and son-in-law are now around one another more. It’s easy to get comfortable, joke, and make one another smile. The downside: this can lead to a slippery slope that’s full of heartache.
One expert says, “It’s common for middle-aged women to reach a point of noticing young men and craving attention. It’s also common for young men to seek the maturity of a woman, such as a middle-aged woman.” In this scenario, keep it a fantasy and let the feelings fade. It will save the whole family a lot of heartache. If you're unhappy in your marriage, going to your mother-in-law for some relief is not the right answer.
8 Mom Still Decorating His Room
This girlfriend claimed her boyfriend was too close to his mother because he let her decorate his room. However, her facts are lacking. We don’t know the age of the boyfriend, for one. That is a big factor when it comes to allowing a mother to decorate her son’s room. If he is 14 and still living at home, no problem. If he’s 18 and getting ready to move into his college dorm, there needs to be limits. Women have been cleaning and storing things for decades. She could offer him tips on how to save space while letting him decide where his favorite music poster goes.
If he is 30 and has his own apartment, big problem. It’s time to cut those strings and let the boy move on. A situation such as this has mommy issues written all over it. It’s best to walk away and let someone else handle that nightmare.
7 It Was Love At First Sight
Although strange or maybe even repulsive at first, this concept does happen between moms and stepsons, especially if the mom comes into the family during the boy's younger teens. In this Is It Normal question, one teen asks, “Is it normal for me to get feelings for my stepmom?” Several comments were made about the situation, most of which were, “I went through the same thing when my dad married my stepmom. You’ll get over it.”
It may not be advisable to strike up an intimate relationship with your stepmom. There have been cases in which mothers were arrested due to the age of their stepson. It also causes pain and confusion for so many and for the rest of their lives. If questioned, let the feelings pass and continue on with your life. A relationship, no matter how odd, is hard to come out of if it turns bad.
6 It's Always Mom First
In this Whisper Confession, a woman asks, “At what point, if at all, does a woman become a priority to a man over his mother? We’re engaged but he always calls his mother first.” It can be tough to decide what to do when the person you love is putting someone else first, even if it is his mother. Sometimes, the best advice is to be honest. No unhealthy relationship was mended with silence.
Some would call this woman petty; it’s his mother after all that he is calling. However, there comes a point in every adult’s life when we need to let go of our mothers and find a person to share our lives with, even phone calls. This guy hasn’t quite gotten there yet. The best thing this girl can do is confront him about the situation and kill this unhealthy relationship. He doesn't have to stop calling his mother - he just needs to call his fiancee first.
5 Crossing All The Lines With Her Stepson
Having sex is a big commitment, one this stepmom should have thought through before she had sex with her stepson. In fact, in her Whisper Confession, she claims she would like to do it again. No more facts were given about age or marital status, but one has to wonder about that situation. I wonder how daddy dearest would take hearing this news.
But this is just the surface; we are only seeing a two line secret. There are other cases in which the stepson and mother bonded after the dad’s death, became close, and then were in a relationship. However, it’s not how you would picture it. This ‘stepson’ was 39 when he made the move on his stepmom, who was 40. This mother had married a man who was almost 20 years her senior. When the dad died, he left these two to lean on one another, which eventually led to them falling for one another. It all varies on a case by case basis.
4 Mom And Son Consumate
This son was raised in a house where he repeatedly watched his mother get beaten and abused. This created a mix of emotions in the boy, with the need to protect his mother. At the age of 19, the son decides he’s going to move back in with his mother, protect her and his siblings, and everything would be okay. Months later, the mother and son were arrested for their incestual relationship.
Confusion can spark the strongest of emotions, ones we don’t understand but drive us forward. This son is a good example of this. In his statement, the son can be saying he had to protect his mother. That sense of needing to protect her escalated into something more that the son did not understand. This happens on more occasions than most people would realize. The best thing to do when experiencing strong emotions is to stop and question why.
3 Together Forever
In this Whisper Confession, we have a son and mother who refuse to let go. The son states, “I’ve become such an introvert that my mother hates it. But I can’t trust anyone.” This son only trusts his mother. His unhealthy bond with her has prevented him from moving on with his life. Now, he doesn’t want to do anything but live with his mother and let the world go by without him.
While it is stated that the mother hates her son being an introvert, she still feeds his unhealthy nature. This is a two-way road. The son is supposed to help the mother, just as much as she helps him. And while the mother may hate that her son is an introvert, she’s not doing anything to help push him out of the nest because he still lives there. If she pushed, he may end up flying.
2 Calls His Mom Every Day
Sometimes a guy can take his phone conversations with his mother a little too far and a little too often. One guy became so freaked out by his friend's constant phone calls to his mother that he took to the internet to ask, “Is that normal behavior or is something wrong with him?” The guy’s friend told him he called his mother every day, sometimes just to say good morning.
Is there anything wrong with this? Well, this seems to be a personal debate. While some people find it weird for the guy to call his mother every day, others thought it was endearing. After all, think of all the things your mother did for you. Why not give her a phone call to let her know you remember her?
When does it become unhealthy? This behavior can be quite thoughtful and normal, but when it begins to interrupt a routine or tasks, it’s a problem. If a guy gets a call from his mother while on a date and he takes the call, it’s a problem.
1 So This Is What Happens In The Bedroom
There’s a point in the relationship where the couple decides to become intimate. This is meant to be a private matter between the couple. This is their private time to be together. While the deed is done privately, though, it can become known to others, say your friends or your mother.
When a man is close enough to tell his mother details about his sex life, this may be a time to question their relationship. Not too many men are comfortable enough to openly talk about sex with their mother, and if they do, they could be too close to mommy dear. The first way to handle this would be to mention it to him and tell him it’s not appropriate. If that doesn’t work, could it be time to say adios?