Not every woman loves being a mom; as awful as that is to think about. Sometimes motherhood is not what mom expects, or sometimes she suffers from postpartum depression and other mental health issues. Whatever the reason, there is never an excuse to be a bad mom.
Luckily, most of the shocking secrets moms keep don’t turn into harmful actions towards the baby or family. Sometimes, though, mom puts her desires first or lets her regrets get the best of her, and the consequences can be tragic.
Some women confess their secrets on anonymous websites, and sometimes they tell them to their closest friends. The worst secrets are usually the ones that don’t come out until severe harm is done to the baby.
You hear quite frequently on the news about moms who take their child’s life or do drastic things that no one saw coming. Usually, the action starts off as just a thought in the back of mom’s mind. Exploring why these things happen and how we can help identify struggling moms should be the starting point for preventing these worst-case scenarios from happening. Now, read on to find out these 15 Moms Most Darkest Secrets.
15Regret Having A Baby
For the majority of women, having a baby is a joyful experience filled with all the love and happiness mom could ever imagine. If all goes right, mom bonds with the baby in a way that is deeper than words could ever express, and she feels as if her heart is now outside of her body.
Most regrets that come with having a baby are things like wishing you had a baby younger (or older), wishing you had the baby with a more supportive partner, or wishing you had more money before you had the baby.
Shockingly, some moms regret having the baby. One mom confesses, “I think all the time about how I shouldn’t have had her. I used to have a life, used to go out and have fun and have sex with my partner. Now, I spend my days changing diapers and wiping up drool. It’s a thankless job.”
14Selfishly Refusing To Breastfeed
There is nothing sexual about breastfeeding the baby. Well, not for most moms. One mom of 5, however, confessed she never even considered breastfeeding because, “It’s just [expletive] weird to me. Why would I want my baby sucking on the same thing my husband plays with during our time? That’s [expletive] gross.”
Obviously, she had a different frame of mind than most moms, who understand the value of breast milk and don’t ever have the thought that there will be strange feelings in that department.
Usually, it’s the husband who might have mixed emotions about milky time, perhaps subconsciously harboring jealousy that baby gets to be close to mom 24/7.
That’s why it’s important to have open lines of communication and make time for each other as a couple, whenever you can manage.
13Endangering The Health Of The Fetus
To many people, one of the most upsetting things to hear about is a mother who drank during pregnancy, despite the fact that there is absolutely no safe established dose of alcohol while pregnant. The word dose is crucial here because ALCOHOL IS A DRUG. It’s a drug that can cause irreversible harm to the fetus, and mom won’t know until it’s too late.
One mom confesses, “I drank all during pregnancy. A couple glasses of wine is perfectly fine. My baby turned perfectly normal and very smart.” It doesn’t matter if there are a handful of doctors who say it’s okay. It doesn’t matter if all of Europe says it’s ok. It doesn’t matter if Aunt Millie says it’s okay… the fact is that fetal alcohol syndrome and permanent damage/delays are not difficult to inflict on the baby if you drink while pregnant. Why take that risk?!
12Who's The Daddy?
Most women dream about getting married and having kids from the time they’re little girls. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting those things, but what is hard is having a baby and not knowing anything about the dad or ever wanting to see him again.
One mom confesses, “We went on one date, if you even want to call it that. When I got pregnant, I was shocked and scared. I didn’t think I could get pregnant, let alone that it would happen with a total stranger. And this is not someone I ever wanted to see again. I will be raising the baby alone and not telling him about it.” Can you even imagine going through this? I know I can’t. I wish I could give that woman a hug right now.
We all know there are certain prescriptions that aren’t safe or ideal to take when pregnant. Sometimes, though, the person has to stay on the meds because going off them will seemingly result in disaster or total loss of the ability to cope.
One mom had a baby with severe issues thanks to the anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants she was on all through pregnancy. Her doctor never warned her that she should try to lower her dose or go off of them because he was more afraid she would not be able to cope with the pregnancy. Her child will have problems for the rest of her life and probably never be able to function or take care of herself without help. That is the reality of many pharmaceuticals; beware.
A mom confesses, “I knew my boyfriend didn’t want kids and wasn’t ready to settle down, but I felt my biological clock ticking. I told him I was taking my birth control but I stopped taking it a few months into our relationship. I got pregnant quickly and he was freaked out. I am just praying we can make it together as parents, because things aren’t looking great.”
You have to feel sorry for children who are born as a result of situations like this. Babies deserve to have loving parents who are on board with everything and prepared for them, and it’s easy to see how things could go south here. Trickery is never the way to get what you want! All you can do is wish this pair the best and hope the baby brings them together.
9Resenting The Baby's Looks
When one mom married her husband, she was madly in love and couldn’t imagine ever leaving him. “I wanted our babies to have dark hair and dark eyes like dad, with his beautiful olive skin. I have blonde hair and blue eyes so the odds were in his favor. Now that we have our first child and he looks exactly like him, I wish it wasn’t the case. We split up last year and every day is a reminder of our failed relationship.”
There’s something really profound and haunting about having to face reminders of your ex every day when you have gone your separate ways. While we have almost no say what our babies look like (unless we decide to play God), all we can do is hope the relationship will work out or that the baby will look like mama.
8Ditching The Baby
One of the most awful confessions was from a mom who decided a late night booty call was more important than the baby’s safety and wellbeing. “My little girl was sleeping and I got a text that [my guy] was nearby. She is a pretty good sleeper so I snuck outside and ‘hung out’ with him in his Jeep. When I went back inside, I saw she had been up for a while and had ripped all the sheets off her crib and had a really full diaper. I felt like a POS but I really didn’t plan to be gone more than a minute.”
We shouldn’t have to tell you this AGAIN, but leaving a baby alone in the house is a really messed up thing to do. It doesn’t matter if they’re fast asleep, accidents and fires can happen. Your “needs” can wait.
7Putting The Assets First
“Ever since I entered high school, my boobs were the best thing about me. I have really full C-cups and no matter how much weight I gain or loose or how I feel about myself, they’ll always be the one thing that make me feel more confident. When I found out I was expecting, I decided never to breastfeed because I’ve heard it can ruin the girls. Call me selfish but formula is just as good.”
Well, I don’t have to give you a speech about the benefits of breastfeeding if you’re physically able to, it’s the vanity here that really makes this confession so terrible. When you become a mom, there are lots of sacrifices you’ll have to make. This is just one of those things where you take a gamble. You might not have any physical changes once you recover from pregnancy and birth, so don’t let other people discourage you.
6Lying About The Big Moment
There is no shame in how you give birth, as long as you do what is best for you and the baby, given your circumstances. Moms should never feel the need to lie about how the birth went down, but that’s exactly what this mom did.
“In my circle of friends, everyone brags about natural birth and not needing an epidural or a C-section. These are really crunchy moms, the kind who would slap you for taking your kid to McDonald’s. Anyway, the second I was admitted to the hospital, I demanded an epidural and had a C-section so I could stay the same ‘down there.’ I told everyone I did it all natural to avoid being shamed.”
Moms, please don’t be that person. If you feel the need to lie to your friends, maybe get new friends. What you do with your body is your choice and not to be shamed by anyone.
5Choosing The Night Life
In a perfect world, every mom is prepared to have the baby and has a partner she is excited about raising the baby with. That wasn’t the case for one mom who admitted she gave the dad full custody because she wasn’t ready to give up going out late every night and doing whatever she pleased.
“I couldn’t imagine being stuck home with [a baby]. I told his baby daddy that since he wanted him so bad, he could have full custody. I see him when I make time, but since I work a lot and everything, that’s usually about every other weekend for a day.” It goes without saying that the baby should be the most important thing in mom’s life, but you can’t make someone grow up faster than they’re ready. Maybe the baby is better off with a parent who actually cares.
4Two Baby Daddies?!
“I was seeing two different guys when I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t want to be with either of them long term but they both were pretty well off and had stable lives. I picked the better-looking guy who seemed more of the dad type and told him we were having a baby. It’s going well, so far. We have been raising him together for about 3 years.”
OH EM GEE, can you ever imagine being in her shoes (or the boyfriend’s shoes, for that matter?) Not only is there the chance that the kid won’t know the real father, the “dad” is basically living a life that’s a lie. I feel like the mom could at least get a DNA test done, but she obviously doesn’t care enough to do that. Face palm.
“When I was pregnant, I dreamed I was having a little girl. The dreams were so vivid and real. I ever wore pink all the time and told everyone I was having a little girl. We didn’t bother talking about boy’s names because I was convinced. When the gender ultrasound was done and the tech told me it was a boy, I cried. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.”
As a mom, I get having certain hopes when you’re pregnant, but most moms can agree that, at the end of the day, they just want a healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes. I felt sad and shocked reading this mom’s confession - hopefully she treats the baby just as lovingly as if he were a girl.
2Hating The Husband's Choice
“My husband and I had an agreement that he would get to name the first son and I’d get to name the first daughter. He has good taste in general, so I didn’t think this would be a problem. When baby boy was born, he announces the name he carefully chose - Edwin. I literally can’t call him by his full name, I call him ‘Eddie’ and even that makes me cringe. Maybe we can change the name one day soon…”
I felt so bad for this mom. Every mom wants a say in the baby’s name - I mean, she carried the child in her womb for 9 months; it’s kind of a big deal. I don’t even know what to say about this one except maybe they should think about changing it or coming up with a better nickname. Oy.
1Having A Baby To Fix Things
One mom confesses, “After being married for 10 years, my husband and I hit a slump. We stopped having sex, we stopped saying “I love you,” we stopped wanting to spend time together. One of my girlfriends told me that having another kid brought back the man she loved so much, the man her husband used to be. My husband agreed that a baby would bring more love into the house, and 9 months later, baby was born.”
I can’t emphasize enough that having a baby to fix a marriage is like slapping a band-aid on a gun shot wound; it’s a terrible idea and probably won't fix anything. Sometimes, this “solution” can actually make things much worse. Think about couple’s counseling before you think about bringing another life into a miserable marriage.
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