Oh, the beloved yoga pants. Every mom loves them, and in today’s world they’ve become more ‘everyday wear’ than even jeans are. But, is that fact a blessing or a curse? Not every mom looks stellar in super tight stretchy material, no matter how much that spandex sucks it all in, and it can sometimes hurt our little eyeballs to see moms wearing these pants. It’s not always mean to be honest, folks.
Celebrities are totally into yoga pants, as well. Just like the rest of us however, not every celebrity looks bangin’ in these popular casual wear pants. Some do, but some of them wear their pants a little too tight, some wear them a little too loose, and some just don’t quite have the right body type to pull them off.
So you think I’m body shaming them, do you? Not at all! It’s sometimes okay to just call it like you see it, you know. Not everything people wear is appropriate, and they need to know about it. Also, wearing clothes that actually fit you and/or work with your body type is an important skill to learn. Just like those fashion magazines that have been around forever, we are just here to educate. No one is perfect, and we must all learn what body parts to accent, and which ones are meant to be, well, private.
Go ahead and run through these 15 moms who should’ve never worn yoga pants, because they clearly don’t belong in this type of casual wear. Trade in the yoga pants for…any other kind of pants!
15 Blac Chyna's Bangin' Pants
There is no denying the growing trend towards the bodacious booty, and we're not here to stop this trend, but we are here to comment on it. There is nothing wrong with a curvy rear, in fact it's bootylicious, but there is a way to dress for a bangin' behind...and this is not it. Translucent fabric leaves nothing to the imagination, and we do mean nothing, but what can you expect from a former stripper, I guess? Blac Chyna is likely used to baring it all in public, so for her this is probably conservative apparel. She is super hot, and I'm sure the men are going slack-jawed and googgly-eyed when she steps out in her stretchy workout attire. The rest of us are raising brows and shaking our heads over here, because when it ain't right—it ain't right. Nobody has any business wearing see-through yoga pants, y’all. Surprised I have to even say it!
14 Anne Hathaway's Breathless Blue Crotch
Ahhhh, who doesn't love the color blue? The color of summer skies and baby eyes...
I love me some Anne Hathaway, folks. From The Princess Diaries to her wonderful performance in Les Misérables to her appearances on Sesame Street (how I wish I didn't know this), this woman is an amazing actress and she totally deserves her fame. Still, there is one thing that is probably not such a fan of Anne Hathaway, and that would be her own vagina.
"Hey there! Yes, you up there. I can't breath down here. No, like, I literally can't breath. You don't want to get a UTI, do you? Do you? Then cut me a hole or something, because it's seriously hot and sweaty in here." That was Anne's vagina talking to her, if you didn't catch that. When your vagina is talking to you...there might be a problem. Talking animal? Cool. But nobody—nobody—likes a talking vagina.
13 Jennifer Love Hewitt LOVES Her Pants Tight
Who doesn't love them some Love Hewitt? I loved her in that teenybopper movie Can’t Hardly Wait. I think I was that teenybopper at the time, so that explains why I related to her so much. However, I think my favorite of her many gigs is the creepy Ghost Whisperer show. Even with all that supernatural talent with ghosts, that doesn't mean she needs to wear barely there yoga pants as well. “Now you see my bum...now you don't...” And my goodness are those pants tight. Didn't your mama tell you if you wear your pants too tight they would flatten your butt cheeks? No? Just mine then. Hey...wait a second. Maybe my mom was just saying that so that I wouldn’t wear such tight— No. I have to believe mama on this one. Your butt cheeks are gonna be flatter than pancakes if you keep forcing them into pants like these. Don't do it Jennifer, my girl. Those balls need room to bounce!
12 Kim K's Crushed Coochey Coo
I think Kim K. has a thing for tight clothes, so her yoga pants wouldn't be any different than her other ensembles. Some people just have a lot of confidence in showing off their bodies, and we do mean showing off all of their body parts. She did make a sex tape after all—oh wait—that's why she's famous in the first place! It would follow that she would continue to focus on her looks for further attention seeking, and wearing tight yoga pants is probably the least of her many fashion faux pas in the name of head-turning. These Kardashians will do just about anything for attention, and they will put their bodies through a lot to get the attention they seek, such as plastic surgery and more. Apparently, they will even put their vaginas under tight pressure to get what they want. The vag needs to pull its weight—or open its flaps?—or something, because it's part of team Kardashian. There's no vag in team, okay?
11 Lil Kim's Vivid Purple Pooch
Oh Lil Kim... You are not known for your fashion sense and you know what—that’s okay. Not everyone can be fashionista of the year, but there is still no excuse for a celebrity wearing this outfit. You can't dress up yoga pants, I don't care what color they are, or how much glitz you try to coat them with. I really love the color purple, it's my favorite in fact, but you just made me consider changing my favorite color to blind, because I wish I could unsee these yoga pants. I don't know if it's all the gold glitter, or if it's the pants themselves, but you have highlighted an area of your body that is supposed to be concealed. Yes. Concealed. The definition of concealed by my pal Merriam is: to prevent disclosure or recognition of. Er—I'm pretty sure we can recognize your lady bits a mile away. Do better, Lil Kim. Do better.
10 Nicole Kidman's Long Legs And Long Labia Majora
Nicole Kidman is a tall woman, so why would we think her vagina would be any different? She has a long-legged body and long-labiaed lady bits...kind of goes hand in hand, or crotch to navel as is the case here. But you know, Nicole dear, we didn't actually need to know about, ahem, that part of you. We can't help discovering this lengthy side of you, because here you are, strutting that knowledge for all the world's education/disgust. Please girl, don't ever wear yoga pants again. Yes, we've all heard of a wedgie and we've all seen one riding up someone's backside, but it's usually the pants getting stuck in the back crack, not the pants getting stuck in the front...folds. If you have a long vagina, that is nothing to be ashamed of. But you don't have to announce it to the world. We all know those men who brag about their length, but I don’t think I’ve ever met women who brag about theirs.
9 A Transparent Look At Myleene Klass's Lumpy Bum
Myleene Klass is a British celebrity. She is a killer pianist and was in a band, but she is mostly known for her bangin' body, especially when she's struttin' her stuff in a bikini. Even though she is uber hot and the men love her bikini pics, I've noticed that none of those pics feature her rear end. Conspiracy? I'm thinking there is a reason they don't focus on the junk in her trunk, and that's because she clearly has a rather lumpy bum. Listen, we all have areas of our body that we would like to hide, even if we are considered attractive. Getting the behind to have great tone is not an easy thing to do. The bum naturally seems to have a fatty, lumpy appearance. Still, if that's your 'bad area', you might not want to go showing it off in transparent athletic-wear. Best to cover that thing up like the rest of us do.
8 Melanie Griffith's Griffin Is Showing
Oh my. Where to begin? Sometimes when you get older, after you have children, the pooch begins to form. For some women it's inevitable, it's just a part of getting older. Some moms will work out tirelessly to avoid this situation, but if you do happen to have the dreaded pooch, you might not want to wear yoga pants. It's just one of those things that you have to accept as no longer something you can wear. I long ago accepted that I can no longer wear booty shorts. Not gonna happen. But, if you do have the pooch and you simply must wear yoga pants, maybe wear a long shirt to cover that sitch-e-ation? I know, I know. ‘Life isn't fair’, ‘I want to wear what I want to’, and ‘who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?’ You can do whatever you want, but I'm just saying people's eyeballs are gonna hurt lookin' at that mess.
7 Kris Jenner's Front Butt Is Frightening The Children
Kris Jenner is a lovely woman, but she is 61 years old (sorry Kris!) and there are things that an older woman just shouldn't be wearing. Yoga pants are one of those things. Now, in her defense, Kris is clearly wearing a long shirt to cover up the front butt she's got happening underneath the shirt. It's hardly her fault that a particularly gusty wind decided to blow just as she was probably thinking about picking her front wedgie. I mean, that wedgie really looks painful. I'm pretty sure that after she was finished talking to this dude she was going to find a bathroom to handle business. Some pants just have a tendency to ride up those cracks, but that's why she probably shouldn't be wearing such tight clothes in the first place. Rethink the yoga pants, Kris my dear. You are not your daughters, no matter how much you might wish to be.
6 Reese Witherspoon's Tight Pants Are Making Her Awfully Happy...
My goodness, doesn't Reese Witherspoon look just a little too happy about her tight yoga pants? I'm guessing the material is pressing and rubbing in just the right spot and she's having a particularly pleasant moment... I hope my editor doesn't kill me for saying so, but I wish we could all have pants that made us this happy every day. I would definitely wear yoga pants everywhere I went, if I could have these happy-making pants. Hmmm, that's a great name for them. I'm happy just thinking about them. Anyway, Reese, there's a time and a place for everything, and your personal sexual pleasure moments probably should be reserved for private spaces, like your house or bedroom, and not enjoyed while walking down the street. Come on; keep it in your pants! Errr—wait a minute… Maybe I'm just hatin’ because I really want a pair of those pants you're wearing. Shut up.
5 Ali Larter's Vulva Wants To Be Seen Too
I've heard of the peep toe pump but have you heard of the peep cameltoe? I suppose some women's lady bits just want to be seen, and if you put on skin-tight yoga pants those lady bits are going to get their wish. I'm not sure if Ali Larter is aware, but cameltoe is not considered a good look. If she wants to show off other areas of her body she could try showing a little cleavage or perhaps wearing a cute belly shirt. I do realize that sometimes we put on pants and don't realize how much of ourselves those pants are revealing to the world. I once walked around in public with my pants split in the back and had no idea. I was very em-bare-assed to say the least, but sometimes we don't always realize that we are not public-ready. I don't think Ali should wear yoga pants anymore. Her camel is just WAY too friendly.
4 Sofia Vergara's Bum Isn't Very Good At Hide-And-Seek
No question about it, Sofia Vergara is smokin' hot. Men LOVE her, and for good reason. She has an amazing curvy body, and that exotic accent gives her even more sex appeal. However, no matter how sexy you are, there are still certain conventions that you have to adhere to in public, especially with regards to clothing. Unless you live in a nudist colony it's still not appropriate to be naked in public. Maybe some day it will be, but until that happy (or not so happy) day, you still have to wear clothes that actually hide your private parts. Sofia doesn't have this concept down. I mean, why even put on pants at all if they don't leave anything to the imagination. These yoga pants may as well be sheer tights for how much they cover up. I’m sure the men are begging for more of these pants, but we’re just over here thinking, “Why bother getting dressed at all?”
3 Hilary Duff's Pants Are Screaming For Attention
Whoa! And we thought Lil Kim's purple pants were shocking...check out these glaring green beauties on one of our fave actresses, Hilary Duff. I feel like these pants are brighter than Vegas and if you’ve ever been, you’ll know that’s saying something. If you are trying to capture attention, I suppose this is the way to do it. Clearly, Hilary Duff has zero fashion sense if this is the workout ensemble she goes with. She needs to take some style tips from Kate Hudson. Kate’s fabletics line is awesome… and I bet you never see her camel peeping at the world. Anyhoo, fluorescent green doesn't look good on anyone, at anytime of the year, and under any circumstances. All fashion designers take note of this fact! Don't ever use neon colors in any apparel. It isn't attractive for anyone. But you don’t have to take my word for it. It is known.
2 Calista Flockhart's Pants Look Like They Need A Xanax
Well, sometimes you just don't feel like getting all dolled up, and it could be that Calista was just having a bad day, but I have to say this outfit is making me depressed. This woman is in almost all black, and she is so thin she looks a bit like a skeleton. Yoga pants don't look particularly appealing on people with zero curves, and that seems to be the case here. This woman also looks so sad that I'm afraid her pants are feeling the effects of her sadness. Quick! Give those pants a happy pill! I think if Artax had been around these yoga pants (instead of stuck in the Swamp of Sadness), he would have drowned even faster. Calista, darling, please put on some clothes that make you feel good about yourself, because I'm worried about you. Shoot, I'm worried about me and I'm only looking at this outfit.
1 Amber Rose's Pants Are Hanging On For Dear Life
Just like Blac Chyna and Nicki Minaj, Amber Rose has got a ginormous backside. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact it seems to truly be on the rise as a very desirable quality. There are even people willing to go out and get butt implants to increase the size of their badonkadonks. That's super, but I still will always be a firm (no pun intended) believer in dressing for your body type. These yoga pants are not working for Amber, simply because they make others bite their nails and pull out their hair for anxiety. How can you look at this picture and not get a zit worrying that this woman is going to burst out of her clothes? I have a mental picture right now of that seam popping open and those beach balls bouncing down to the ground. Gawd! Don't do this to us! It’s so stressful…