Becoming a mother changes a lot of things. When a woman has a child her body changes. Her schedule may change. Her habits may change. However, simply becoming a parent does not change everything about a person and several women struggle to make the adjustment to motherhood. Ever heard of the baby blues? It is literally a psychological disorder where the mom may not even like the child, or want to be around it. Most women succumb to the changes of motherhood because (maybe unknown to them) there are actual chemical changes in the wiring of their brains to help them be better at mothering. While others fight against nature with all their might.
When a woman has a child her job is basic, its instinctive: care for her young, keep them alive, and ready them to be able to live without her. All animals live by this same narrative, but humans are the only ones that seem to be able to screw it up so terrifically. Some moms have babies and continue right on with their bad habits. Some moms raise their children with little regard for their safety or well-being. To put it simply: some moms do awful things. Shameful things they would never admit out loud or want to be caught doing. Some moms do things with or to or around their children that can even be considered illegal. Keeping in mind that most moms love and care for their children above all else and would never do even close to what is mentioned on this list, here are 15 things moms are too ashamed to admit they’ve done:
Remember the scene in the movie The Neighbors where the parents go next door to party and leave the baby at home sleeping? It was hilarious because the mom had to keep jumping around (as she danced) to keep the reception clear on her baby monitor so she could hear her daughter if she woke up. Here’s where it’s not so funny: when this happens in real life. Even less hilarious: people use technology to babysit their kids all the time! One mom admits that she uses her cell to monitor her sleeping toddlers while she hangs out at the neighbors. She calls her phone from her neighbor’s phone then places her phone in the kid’s nursery on speaker phone and keeps her friends phone on speaker phone while she has a few beers next door.
She justified this action by saying “it’s a duplex, I’m literally on the other side of the wall.” Another couple admitted that while vacationing in Paris, they left their children upstairs with their high-tech monitor and went downstairs to the lobby bar for drinks. Here’s the kicker, the international outlet blew out the plugs for the monitor AND THEY STILL WENT!
Of course every mom wants their children to sleep through the night, and of course every mom knows that is rarely the case for younger kids, especially babies. So what to do about it? Some moms choose to medicate their children in tough situations. We have all heard of the mom that might slip her child a little Benadryl for a long car trip or super long flight. Some moms even give a little Benadryl at night at the first sign of a cold, to help her children sleep while congested. But there are some moms who dope up their kids every single night just for a little peace and quiet.
One mom anonymously admitted to giving her daughter Benadryl and Tylenol every night, and that her daughter loved the taste of it so much, she would beg for it. Certainly, people can understand a mother’s desire for a good night sleep, or a little calmness around the house at night, but there are dangers when administering unnecessary medication. Benadryl can have the opposite effect on some children causing them to become super hyper! It is also very easy to overdose younger children on medication that is not recommended for their age.
Go on admit it. Some of us are a little jealous of how easy it seems that dads have it. Think about it. Women carry the babies for months before pushing them out (or having major surgery!). Then they are the ones who feed the child, whether or not the mom breastfeeds, she is still the one who does the majority of feeding. She deals with the spit up, and worries why the baby won't eat or if the baby has eaten too much. She frets over whether to have a glass of wine with dinner while the dad gulps down a six pack while watching the 50th playoff game of whatever sport is on during that part of the year.
Moms bear the brunt of parenthood, and no smart man would deny this. So, sometimes momma hates on daddy. One women admits to flushing the toilet in the guest bathroom when her husband is showering because she resents him for the quiet alone time he gets. When she flushes the toilet, her husband gets a shot of cold water and he screams. And it makes her smile!
Who can focus on anything these days with so many distractions? There are TV shows that can be paused, rewinded, recorded. There are watches that can get text messages, be used as phones, and take pictures. There are cell phones that are as advanced as older models of computers. It is becoming impossible to be able to focus on anything without some sort of device alerting us about something. Someone calling or texting, a breaking news announcement, or an event reminder are just a few of the reasons that trigger dings, buzzes, and rings.
One mom almost lost her daughter because of a ding. One woman admitted to leaving her three year old daughter in the tub to check her iPad that had alerted her to an email in another room. Her daughter was unusually tired at bath time and the warm water must have soothed her right to sleep. The woman was barley gone two minutes when she returned to find her daughter slumped on the side of the tub. Thank God the three year old feel asleep sitting up, or she would have easily been underwater.
Once a women has a baby, she has the perfect excuse to get out of any situation she wants to avoid. The baby, the child itself is the easiest thing to introduce as a reason to miss any event. Too hot to go to a wedding outside in the middle of July? She can say the babysitter cancelled and kick it at home in the air conditioning. Ladies night out, but she just doesn’t want to go, or gossip, or spend 15 bucks on a cocktail? She can say the baby is feeling warm, might have a fever, and needs her to stay home for TLC. No matter what the event, the baby can trash it. Some moms secretly admit to missing tons of stuff just because they did not want to go, or did not feel up to going, but nonetheless blamed the baby. In a recent survey almost 50% of the moms secretly admitted to using their children to get out of obligations at least once a month!
Getting nooky after baby is tough for any new mom. Most of the time, some moms are not even remotely interested in hooking up with dad, and if it’s before the six weeks, she isn’t really supposed to anyway. However, when mom does get that carnal “itch”, she needs to get it scratched right away. There is also the possibility that she can no longer avoid her horny husband. Whatever the case may be, some moms end up getting busy with baby very close by. Several moms admit to being intimate with the baby asleep in the crib in the same room. Fewer admit to doing the deed when the baby (in the crib in the same room) is awake. Believe it or not a couple moms admitted to getting intimate when the baby was in the bed with them, sleeping of course, at the same time. Hey, maybe the bed rocking is a soothing way to keep them asleep!
One thing most moms will tell you they worry about when breastfeeding is having a drink. As much as mommy may want to have a glass a wine, she has to plan it totally around the baby because nobody wants the baby to ingest too much alcohol since the amount of alcohol that the baby receives is directly related to the mother. How much the mother weighs and how much she drinks figures directly into how much alcohol is consumed by her breastfeeding baby. Most women that are nursing are very careful, rarely drinking, and even when they do consume only small amounts and making sure to eat and drink plenty of water. Therefore, most of the time the babies are fine.
What happens when moms cross the line? The police were called to a woman’s home in North Dakota because of a unrelated domestic disturbance, when they arrived they found the mom intoxicated. While they were there, the mom began to feed her 6-month-old baby. The police, after learning from the local hospital, that breastfeeding under the influence of alcohol was not good for the child, arrested the mom, and charged her with child neglect. Excessive alcohol ingested by infants leads to drowsiness, decreased eating, deep sleep, weakness, and decreased linear growth, and the possibility of death.
There is no easy way to put this, moms desperately need to get away from their children from time to time. The constant neediness, the pulling on her ankles, the stretching of her clothing, the never-ending stains and messes, and constant need of a snack. Kids can drive even the most loving mother up the wall. So, no wonder babysitters are in high demand. There are million dollar websites that make their money just by finding people the perfect sitter. They literally don’t do a thing except help connect families to child care providers.
So why would mom mistreat her sitter? Several moms secretly admitted during a recent survey that they often come home way later than they told their babysitters they would be. Most reporting staying out an extra hour to an hour and a half. One mom even said she was four hours late one night, and did not even call or text because she did not want to deal with the angry sitter. She claimed she knew it would be fine when she got home because she was “going to pay extra and it’s not like the girl would leave the kids alone!” Shame on you mommy!
A lot of moms sleep in the bed with their babies. The babies are perfectly fine. It is easier for many moms to just keep their breastfeeding babies in the bed with them rather than jump up every time the baby cries wanting to be fed. Regardless of the warnings from doctors, relatives, and many others, lots of women sleep with their babies and small children, anyway. The reason doctors warn mothers against sleeping with their children is the possibility of the mother accidentally rolling over onto the baby, thus suffocating the child.
Most doctors preface this warning by acknowledging that a lot of moms do sleep with their children but they should never do it after drinking or taking anything that could cause them to be in a deep sleep. One mom learned this lesson the hard way. She was arrested after calling 911 to report that her almost two-month-old son was not breathing. When the police and paramedics arrived on the scene they found the baby boy dead in his mother’s bed. After testing the mother’s blood they found that she had taken methamphetamines (meth) and alprazolam (Xanax). She was charged with manslaughter.
Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing. It is probably one of the most natural experiences on this planet. But for some reason many people remain freaked out about it. Although most of us were breastfed ourselves, some people feel totally uncomfortable around nursing moms, or even talking about breastfeeding. In some places, it’s just about considered taboo. Moms are asked to cover up, and sometimes even requested to go the bathroom to feed their hungry babies. It’s a gosh darn shame.
So, no wonder some moms keep their breastfeeding habits on the down low. One mom said she was ashamed that she chose to continue feeding her daughter after she turned two, so she kept it a secret from everyone. In fact, the only people that knew the toddler was still nursing was her husband and mother. Poor thing! Breastfeeding is awesome, and it should be something a mother is proud of, not needing to hide!
All women know they are supposed to wait until 6 weeks to get busy. This advice is given by doctors for several reasons. One of the main reasons is the mother’s body needs time to heal. Anybody that has had a baby knows there is some interesting happening downstairs for a while after baby arrives especially if the mom had a C-section. But even with the so called “6-week rule”, some couples still end up getting busy sooner than they are supposed to and sometimes mommy gets pregnant, again.
Several moms in a recent survey admitted to having unprotected sex before the 6-week wait was up and many worried they would get pregnant again. There is a widely-believed rumor that women are extremely fertile after giving birth. Well, some women did end up getting pregnant again, right away. One said she was two weeks pregnant by her six weeks’ checkup. Can’t you imagine the conversation with her mom? “Couldn’t you wait, honey!?!”
How could a woman not know who the father of her child is? It seems like a crazy question, but in this fast-paced world, where more and more woman are choosing to be intimate without commitment, it happens more than one would believe. Nadine* was pretty sure who the father of her child was, so she went with her gut. Throughout her pregnancy, she relied on and asked for help from the guy that she believed to be the father. He went to the prenatal appointments and even assisted with the birth. It wasn’t until the child was two months old, that another old “friend” reached out to her after hearing that she’d had a baby.
This other fellow just wanted to make sure he wasn’t the dad, because he’d checked the timing and the math worked out. As much as Nadine did not want to have the testing done, she was comfortable with her current arrangement, she went ahead and had the baby tested along with both guys. When the results came in, Nadine was shocked at the error she had made. Guy #1 was heartbroken because he and his family had grown to love his “son”. Guy #2 was shocked to realize he was suddenly a dad. This very true story reminds us of an old children’s nursery rhyme: first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage…
Everyone knows smoking is bad. Smoking is terrible for the smoker causing lung cancer and throat cancer to name a few. Smoking is terrible for anyone around the smokers, as second hand smoke is a killer, too. Who knew there was a thing called third hand smoke? It’s dangerous too; third hand smoke is the residue left behind after smoking. So even if a person steps outside to smoke, it can still be very dangerous to the people living with them and especially so with children. Bonnie* kept bringing her 5 and 7-year-old daughters into the emergency room, the doctor’s office, and the hospital for asthma related issues, ear infections, coughing and bronchitis.
She was counseled 10 times over a three-year period to quit smoking because it was harming her children. Two months after the daughters last doctors visit, the younger daughter developed pneumonia but was treated and recovered. Bonnie still refused to give up smoking or even talk about it. Not long after, her daughter had to be rushed into the emergency room for a recurrence of pneumonia and severe asthma, and had to be placed on a ventilator in the pediatric intensive care unit. It took her several days to recover.
During the summer anything goes, right? There are less people to judge a woman’s parental skills. So most kids enjoy way more TV time, computer time, and device time. Most kids get to stay up much later, too. Kids often get to eat out more, because what goes better than TVs, internet, late bedtimes and fast-food. Well, some moms take it a bit further. One mom secretly admitted to not bathing her kids during the summer. She felt that the swimming pool was sufficient for keeping her children clean. Obviously it’s a large body of water, but the chemicals required to keep a pool clean probably need to be rinsed off. Not to mention, the poor hair on those children’s head. It be one thing if the kids were swimming in the lake, at least that’s fresh water, but chlorine is a whole different situation.
It’s hard to imagine someone coming into someone else house and making crazy demands. But moms do it all the time. Schools have peanut free zones, dairy free lines, and gluten free bake sales. It is understandable too, because some children are highly allergic to certain things. If a child were to ingest or sometimes even just get close enough to a certain allergen the interaction could be deadly. But what about the moms who are unnecessarily overly picky about what their children eat? The moms that only feed their children from boxes and packages labeled “organic”. They only eat eggs from chickens that are not kept in cages. The list goes on and these stipulations are fine within the walls of that families home.
One mom wasn’t having it. She anonymously admitted that when her kids have playdates or sleepovers at her house she feeds them whatever she wants. When moms ask that her children not be fed fast food, this renegade mom will make sure that the kids all have burgers and fries for dinner. She has been doing this for years and nobody has gotten hurt yet. We hope the record can continue.
Sources: USAToday.com, ABCNews.com, AnnFammed.org, Parenting.come, Kid101.com