There are women who walk around the playground or attend school functions that act like their parenting skills are the ish. But is that all in their head, or is it for real? How can anyone know for sure whether they're really screwing up as a parent or not? And no one likes the thought that they're not giving this job their all. Because little lives are on the line here.

Doctors see lots of patients and can easily assess the quality of a mother based on their interactions with not only her, but also her children. Whether a mom has a newborn or a teenager, the doctor will see signs of her ability as a mom.

For those who are curious what the best and worst mothering traits look like, look to the doctor for ideas and advice. If a mom has questions, ask away. Concerns? Remember that the doctor has likely heard it all before, and there is usually zero judgment. After all, doctors want women to be good mothers to their children, and will help them along the way.

Look below for the main traits that make up a great mother or the worst behaviour that has serious consequences. Doctors and pediatricians have dished on what comprises as the best and worst traits for mothers. We are talking about regular moms who do the right things, and do the best they possibly can. That is what makes them great, and the doctors are here to tell us exactly how!

Read on to see what traits women need to possess, or possibly already have, to make themselves a great mother.

19 Worst Trait: Losing Patience

Oh yes, any seasoned mother will tell you the number one trait you need with children is a boatload of patience! No patience, and let's face it, you may fail as a mother! Doctors agree. They say there is more than just patience, but actually the ability to take a step back and just breathe. Children test us constantly. They are noisy. They spill milk all over the floor. Mothers need to be equipped with extra patience for every hour of the day.

Doctors who dish on this topic say that patience is an essential trait to motherhood, actually it's more of a requirement in a great mother. Patience is necessary not only so we don't take our frustrations out on our own children, but also for our own health and mental well being too.

Anxiety and stress are awful for our mind and bodies. By practicing good patience, we benefit ourselves and in turn it makes us wonderful moms. Try to not lose your cool.

18 Best Trait: They're Selfish Sometimes

As moms, it can be hard to take a moment for ourselves, but it's very important to do so. Doctors say one of the best traits a mother can have is her ability to be a little selfish at times. Go ahead and have a girl's night out with some other moms, go shopping alone, or even have your partner take the children out of the house for a few hours so you can catch up on your favorite television shows (no cleaning allowed)!

It is hard for many mothers to put themselves first, but it is actually good for your children to see their mother taking care of herself as well. Your kids know you are there for them. There is nothing wrong with taking a break once and awhile, in fact, many doctors encourage it and see it as a positive trait in any great mom.

17 Worst Trait: They Never Listen To Their Mother's Intuition

Doctors will admit that even they can make mistakes. This is why they say a negative trait in a mother is the inability to see past what a doctor is telling you, and not going for that second, third, or even fourth opinion.

Being able to arm yourself with pertinent information and expect the best from the expert they seek advice from, is equally important, but something that many moms do not do at all. Instead, they listen to one person, such as one doctor, instead of listening to what their mind and heart is trying to tell them.

In other words, according to doctors, a negative trait that makes for a not so great mom is NEVER going with your gut. Doctors say a mother's intuition is a real thing. Ignoring this amazing ability could potentially harm your child. Mothers do always know best, which is why is something does not sit quite well with you, do not just let it go.

Being a great mom means pushing until you get the answers and information you seek.

16 Best Trait: They Keep Their Cool

Kids will test boundaries and attempt to push your buttons. Your doctor may already warn you about this. Yes, the terrible twos are real, but it doesn't get much better after that! With children, there is always a challenge, always a moment when you get close to steam coming out of your ears and your cool calm self going out the window.

A trait of a great mother, according to doctors, is being able to keep your cool under the pressure your children may present you with. Try your best to not get worked up by crying or screaming, depending on the situation. Doctors will say that by yelling when your child is misbehaving, you are essentially adding fuel to their fire. Keeping calm is much more effective, and something that makes a great mom.

15 Worst Trait: They Push Away Their Kid's Affection

Children need physical affection from their parents. This is one trait that doctors will continue to say makes a great mother, her ability to show her love to her children by loving them unconditionally and providing tons of hugs and kisses, even if the child tries to push her away!

Therefore, the failure to give your newborn baby lots of smooches, and never stop until they move out of the house, is damaging to your child. They need your affection.

Your children want you to hold them and love them. Even when they are not babies, they will have moments where they need their mommy. By being an open and loving mom, they know you will provide them with as many hugs and kisses as they need.

Being physically affectionate is a trait many doctors feel makes for a great mother. Never push away your child's affection. They need to show you love, as much as you should be showing them love.

14 Best Trait: They're More Involved

Being involved is a fantastic trait for a mother to have. You need to be there for your kids, show them the ways of the world, but be careful, because you do not want to do too much for them. Doctors say this trait can be tricky. Being involved is a positive thing, but over involvement can be quite negative and damaging.

So how much involvement makes for a great mother? According to doctors, it is the type of mother who is involved with the going ons in her children's life and works to teach and provide independence to her children, rather than just doing things for them. In easier terms, it is equivalent to teaching your child how to complete their homework, rather than just doing it for him.

13 Worst Trait: Fail To Instil Independence In Their Children

As moms, it can be hard to let our children go. We want to do things for them so they don't have to. We want to make sure they're okay and that they'll make it out there in the world. They need their mommy, don't they? Well, unfortunately for us moms, it's not good at all to coddle your children.

You need to teach them to be independent. For the moms that do everything for your kids... well, you will likely turn them into co-dependent, unable to fend for themselves, adults.

Doctors all agree that one trait of a great mother is her ability to raise her children to be independent people and independent thinkers. As moms we need to teach them to go out into the world as their own person, allow them to care for themselves and fend for themselves. So by not teaching independence, you will not raise someone who can think for themselves. Hey, you will not be around forever!

It may make us sad to know we have to eventually let them go, but by starting to build their independence at a young age we will better prepare them, and that's what makes a great mother.

12 Best Trait: They Know Their Kids Inside And Out

When we say minding your own children, we mean more than just watching them at as they play at the park. We mean really minding them, as if knowing every inch of them, what they're thinking, and how they're feeling.

Doctors say it's vastly important that mothers really get to know who their children are as people, especially as they get older.

Part of being a great mom is the trait of truly knowing your children. By being completely attuned to their emotions and mindset, you can develop an unbreakable bond. In a sense, you will feel their pain, share their joy and be angered by what makes them angry.

It's essential to understand our kids, even when they become teenagers who push us away, we must keep pushing back, and that makes us fantastic mothers.

11 Worst Trait: They Never Set Boundaries Or Respect Boundaries

One negative trait that doctors tend to see in mothers is the inability to set boundaries. Not only do these mothers fail to set the boundaries, they do not actively or consistently enforce them either. If there are boundaries set, having them doesn't mean anything if the child knows they can break them whenever they please, and that nothing will happen to them.

It's important that moms don't worry about hurt feelings, because children will cry or complain if they do not get their way. Kids need boundaries!

Therefore, doctors say that being a "boundary securer" is a definite trait of a great mother. Children need boundaries, and they actually want boundaries. It helps to make them feel secure and settled by knowing where the rules are. Kids don't want to be bad, but they need boundaries set and enforced to obtain a quality life. Great mothers do just this, say doctors.

10 Best Trait: They Ignore The Naysayers

Doctors say one of the best things you can do in your life is to cut out the negative people. This works double for moms who receive negative feedback or are told they are not doing things correctly. Either stop the relationship with these naysayers, or block their advice or talk from your head, doctors advise.

It is a difficult, yet important trait, this ability to ignore the negative people in your life, even if they are your own mother, sister, or dear friend. However, it is a trait that makes up a great mother. You, yourself, should not be exposed to negative criticism, and your children, no matter how young or old they are, should not have to listen to that, well- crap- either.

9 Worst Trait: They Don't Give Respect, Yet Ask For It In Return

Respectfulness is a positive trait for any person to have, and one trait that doctors say every great mom must possess. It goes beyond just respect for your partner, the grandparents, your neighbors, but you must also have respect for your children. Say goodbye to the power struggle, and hello to being respective.

Being respectful means you value others and their feelings. If you value your children, you need to respect them. This means listening to what they're telling you, giving them space if they need it, and understanding who they are as little human beings. We all think our kids will be just like us- but they're not. They are their own person.

A negative trait of a not so great mom is never giving her children respect, yet wanting them to respect her back. It does not work that way. By showing them respect, you are teaching them respect, and that's important.

8 Best Trait: They're Always Available

Don't bother your mother, she's painting her nails. Don't not bother your father, he's having his snack. We can all picture a little child wanting her mother or father and being denied their availability. Doctors say a trait of a great mother is being easily available.

This does not mean rushing to pick them up if they do not want to walk, or doing things that go against their responsibilities. Doctors say being emotionally available to your children is of primary importance. Your kids need to know they can rely on you, and come to you if they need to talk or a shoulder to cry on.

One of the best traits mothers can have is simply being there for your kids, always.

7 Worst Trait: Inability to Have Fun

Kids can be work, that's for sure, but having children should also be fun. Kids of all ages should be enjoyed and shown that mommy is around not just for discipline, but for fun times as well. If everything is always so serious, your children may grow up to resent you for never allowing them, or yourself, to have fun in life.

Relax, and let go of the negativity. Have fun with your kids!

Doctors agree that this trait of a great mother is important to kids growing up. Not just joking around with your kids, but also playing with them, enjoying some alone time together playing a board game, taking a walk to the park, getting ice cream, and much more. It's the little things like this that your children will grow up to remember.

By having fun with the little things in life, you will be a great mommy.

6 Best Trait: They're Not Concerned With Being Super Mom

No mom is a supermom, no matter how another mom may appear to you. Doctors will tell you that the best mothers out there admit they are not perfect. It is okay to not be a supermom, in fact, it is near impossible! Don't beat yourself down for not being able to clean your house constantly or enroll your child in every activity under the sun, or even when there is no dinner except a phone call to the pizzeria.

That is all a-okay!

Doctors will dish and say that these mothers who put on this superwoman act are not truly supermoms, nor are they true to themselves. It is just that- an act. Doctors will say that the real, down to earth moms, who admit they have not vacuumed their house in a month or who say they gave up and let their children eat pretzels off the floor, now those moms, they are the great ones.

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2 Worst Trait: Not So Great Role Models

You are your child's first role model. From the moment they're in your womb up until you are of old age, it's your children who are watching you, listening to what you say. They basically become who you exhibit yourself to be. It works for you as well, you can push yourself to be a better person for the sake of your kids.

Instead of being negative, down on yourself, and doing things you should not be doing in front of your kids, show them how a quality and true person is to behave. They will follow suit- whether it is positive or negative.

Doctors can't stress enough the importance of being a positive role model for children at all times. You are always on when your kids are around. By being the person you want them to grow up to be...that is a trait of a great mom. We must remember this when life and work things start to get the better of us.

After all, children tend to do as their parents do, and not do as their parents say.

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