There’s no other word that can describe pregnancy better than weird. Everything changes. And I mean everything. Babies grow, stomachs get larger, and women tend to go pretty crazy. All the raging hormones can affect a woman’s decision making skills and cause her to make some questionable choices. It’s nice to think that, in the end, we all regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were too afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make. But sometimes, we make some decisions that are so damn stupid and irrational, we all wish we didn’t make them. It happens to the best of us, and while it sucks at the time, it probably won’t matter 20 years from now. Or will it?
Pregnancy isn’t something any woman should regret, even if it came as a surprise. It’s a beautiful, though not-so-wonderful time that brings a new life to the world. But that term “pregnancy brain” that How I Met Your Mother used to describe Lily’s craziness? Yeah… That’s real. And it causes even the sharpest women to act a little dumber than usual. From awful baby names to misinformation, here are 15 big regrets that pregnant women have.
15 Not Taking It Easy
Especially in the first trimester of pregnancy, women tend to worry about everything that’s going to happen in the next nine months. And while that’s understandable, for at least the first trimester of pregnancy, she should be relaxing and taking it easy while she still can. Though that may be difficult with possible morning sickness and cravings, she’ll take it for granted when she can’t lie down comfortably and has to get up to use the restroom every few minutes or so.
Doing too much too soon adds a lot of unwanted and unnecessary stress which is bad for both the mom and her baby. So, don’t worry about the next nine months. It’s fine to do research, but worry about it when it comes and take it easy while it’s still possible to take it easy.
14 Choosing A Name Too Soon
Arguably the best part about choosing a new name for the baby is realizing just how many people are hated and just how many names are associated with bad memories. Sometimes, a woman just knows what her baby should be named. But other times, it’s sitting down with a long list and crossing out the definite no’s that really helps. Mom and dad shouldn’t pick a name until they’re sure that they’re still going to like it after it’s shouted 300 times a day.
This happens to most of us. We hear a fantastic song on the radio, and we play it over and over again until we absolutely hate it. Everybody has that one song, though, that no matter how many times it’s played, they still love it and sing along. Your baby’s name should be that song. Don’t go picking a name too soon!
13 Not Taking Enough Photos
Most women don’t look very pretty during childbirth. It’s absolutely nothing like the movies. Because of this, they usually don’t want many pictures taken. Of course, pictures of the new baby are a must, but pictures of themselves? Probably not. Many women in the late stages of pregnancy don’t have many pictures of themselves either, because they don’t like the way that they look. But, usually, they come to regret it when they don’t have enough photos to look back on while taking a trip down memory lane.
It’s pretty understandable why many pregnant women don’t want their picture taken. The baby weight is a huge factor in lowered self-esteem, and most of us simply wouldn’t have our pictures taken when we’re not looking our best. Regardless, try powering through it. Having those photos will be great in the long run.
12 Allowing People To Help
It’s common courtesy for people to open doors, give up subway seats, or move back a place in the checkout line for a pregnant woman. Some subways and buses even have reserved priority seating for the elderly, disabled, and pregnant women. Most will graciously accept these acts of kindness.
However, some women are just too proud to accept help from anyone, no matter the circumstance. There’s nothing wrong with this sort of pride! It’s great that some are confident and independent! But it’s crucial to remember that there’s no shame in receiving help, and once mom has to deal with a screaming baby 24/7, she’ll be wishing that somebody would help her out.
11 Asking For Advice
Every pregnant woman knows that they will get tons of (sometimes—okay, mostly—unwarranted) advice, whether it’s from trusted family members or from complete strangers. Everybody from the creepy guy on the subway to the best guy friend will have something to say, and, unsurprisingly, it’s usually pretty rude or inappropriate. Unfortunately, the one group of people that pregnant actually want advice from, the veteran moms, will keep their mouths shut. And it’s simply because they already know.
They remember what it was like to be constantly badgered with unwanted advice and what it was like to want to figure it out for themselves. So they keep quiet until asked. Most pregnant women have trouble asking for advice because they think it makes them seem more needy and clueless, but it absolutely does not. Ask for the advice, and be more prepared for when the sh*t hits the fan.
10 Buying Based On Appearance
Some parents are super stingy about what types of baby products will be in their house. They absolutely do not want brightly colored plastic toys all over their floors, and, as a result, they will buy any baby product with neutral colors or colors that match the scheme of their house. Unfortunately for these parents, they will soon come to find that products like this are expensive, hard to come by, and definitely not baby’s favorite.
There’s a reason baby items are made brightly colored and messy looking. It’s because that’s what babies like! Once the time comes, most parents care less about how bright or messy their homes are. As long as baby is happy and the product isn’t so cheaply made that it poses a danger, why not? Either way, it won’t last forever. Baby will grow up eventually.
9 Buying Too Many Baby Clothes
Baby clothes are cute. With all the tiny little booties and itty bitty socks, it’s nearly impossible to not buy out the whole store. And who could blame you for not wanting to resist the urge? Dressing babies up to take adorable pictures makes for a good photo album to look back on, but here’s the thing: Babies grow, and they grow really fast. Those little overalls that have only been in the closet for two weeks probably won’t fit anymore.
There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of baby clothes. But, ultimately, it can be a big waste of money. Baby will quickly grow out of all the fairytale outfits and will end up needing a whole new wardrobe every few months or so. Just get something that’s cute, soft, and inexpensive instead of buying an extravagant closet full of adorable clothes.
8 Not Making A Birth Plan
Yes, a “birth plan” sounds really silly. But it’s actually highly recommended, and tons of women who had smooth births have gone through with it. Basically, a birth plan is a document or folder that allows doctors, nurses, or whoever is overseeing the labor to know the mom’s preferences on dealing with labor pain, preferred delivery methods, etc. Though it might seem easy to just wing it and tell the medical professionals when the time comes, it’s actually much harder than it seems.
A birth plan is also a great tool to put mom’s mind at ease, as it gives insight on what her labor is going to be like. Keep in mind, however, that a birth plan must be flexible should any unforeseen medical issue arise.
7 Getting Pregnant At The Request Of The Significant Other
Some women are not ready, or simply do not want, to have children. They’re pressured into it by family or, more likely, a significant other. “I wish I’d never had children” is a horrible thing to hear and even more horrible to say. Yet, it’s said incredibly often. Many women live lives of regret because their kids hold them back from everything they wanted to do.
This isn’t to say that children are bad; Children are wonderful… for those who are ready and willing to raise them. Don’t get pregnant at the request at somebody else. While the choice can certainly be influenced by the input of others, the final decision should belong to the mom and only the mom. Having a child can be a beautiful process. Just make sure it really is the best choice.
6 Not Having A Pregnancy Photoshoot
Let’s be real: Beyoncé absolutely rocked her pregnancy photoshoot. Her maternity photos took the Internet by storm. Many women, however, choose not to have a special photoshoot to announce their pregnancy. Sometimes it’s a financial issue, which is a completely understandable, albeit unfortunate, reason. But for those who can afford it, and choose not to, may realize later on that they made a mistake. Sure, many women get pregnant more than once in their lifetime, but no two pregnancies are exactly the same.
Having pictures to commemorate the moment, especially ones of such high quality, should definitely be something to consider. Plus, the themes that good photographers come up with are both unique and adorable. If you can, don’t skip out on the pregnancy photos! They’re great mementos, and make for great Christmas cards for the family, too.
5 Spending The Extra Money On Self-Care
A maternity wardrobe, expensive skin care products, and pregnancy exercise classes are just some of the many luxuries women deny themselves because of cost or inconvenience. A common mentality among pregnant women is that pregnancy means sacrifice. And, well, they’re not wrong; Pregnancy is sacrifice. Sacrifice of things like sushi, alcohol, and a good night's sleep.
They say that self-indulgence is good for the soul. So spend some extra money, get some cute maternity clothes, and stay in shape with workout classes specifically designed for pregnant women. Nobody can deny a pregnant woman’s right to some relaxation and luxury. After all, pregnancy is no easy feat. Not to mention that later in the pregnancy, relaxing is pretty much impossible.
4 Skipping The Belly Cast
A pregnancy belly cast is the process of making a plaster mold of the mom’s belly when she’s around the third trimester of her pregnancy. This is a wonderful way to preserve the memory of the pregnancy without the need for pictures. And, when done correctly, a belly cast can make for a beautiful piece of artwork. It’s also completely safe for both the mom and her baby no plaster comes in contact with the skin thanks to some oil and saran wrap.
Many women believe a belly cast to be cliché or overdoing it. But many of those women also come to regret not making the mold. After all, later in life the mold will be a great memory and keepsake and can serve as a very unique household decoration.
3 Not Having A Baby Shower
Speaking of cliché… Um, baby showers? Absolutely the most cliché thing on this list. But who cares? They’re fun! Many women decide not to have baby showers because they’re a lot of effort. Not to mention, hormones can make socializing with lots of people more difficult than usual and catering to guests is not exactly a treat. The thing about clichés though, is that, well, they’re done all the time for a reason. Baby showers are just part of pregnancy. Plus, there are a lot of upsides to having one.
For example, the mommy-to-be gets to see all her friends and family to catch up and have fun. There are plenty of games—and not the boring kind. The kind that are so stupid they’re hilarious. Plus, there’s always good food and usually cake (jackpot!). Plus, GIFTS! So hey, more free baby stuff! Who could say no?
2 Not Having A Gender Reveal Party
Hand-in-hand with a baby shower is a gender reveal party. There are so many creative ways to reveal the gender of a growing baby, and the anticipation leading up to the moment is always exciting. It’s a lot of work, though, which is why many women choose to skip the party and just tell people casually or just keep it a surprise until the big moment arrives. Everybody loves surprises.
The great memories and pictures are what make the hard work worth it. Not having a special gender reveal party can lead to a lot regret in the future. Plus, it’s a good way to showcase creativity. A personal favorite is colored car exhaust corresponding blue or pink.
1 Not Finding Out The Gender Before Childbirth
Yes, almost everybody loves surprises. While we’re on the subject of gender, it’s worth noting that many couples decide to keep the gender of their baby secret until it’s revealed at childbirth. There’s nothing wrong with that. But other than the blue or pink blanket the baby is brought home in, every baby accessory until the baby is born must be gender neutral.
This means the nursery has to be decorated in such a way that accommodates both a boy or a girl. Any pre-bought clothing has to be gender neutral, too. No pretty pink dresses or tiny baseball-themed outfits. Though all those can be bought after the baby is born, it’s still nice to plan out all the blue and pink colored themes beforehand.
Sources: Parenting.com, BellyBelly.com, Babyq.com, EverydayFamily.com