One of the most exciting parts about the impending arrival of a bundle of joy is the party the mom-to-be gets to attend, usually thrown by her closest friends, family or both. More and more often, women are having multiple showers: one at work, one with friends of the past, one with current friends, one with the baby's father's family and one with hers. Others choose to invite everyone they love to one big party and call it good.
It used to be baby shower etiquette that a gal only got a shower for her first baby. Then, the rules were bent if she had a different gender the second time around. Now, many women get a baby a shower every time they get a bun in the oven. Some choose to throw "sprinkles" for women who already have multiple children. These are basically celebrations of a mother's impending arrival where guests aren't expected to spend too much, since they may have already spent a pretty penny for her previous showers.
No judging. However a woman chooses to celebrate when expecting, we feel she has the right to do so in whatever way she deems is best. Baby showers often have have baby-inspired games like Guess-the-type-of-melted-candy-bar-in-the-diaper (ew), and adorable refreshments like baby carrots, baby back ribs or baby quiches (aw).
Some ambitious baby-shower-throwers think a baby or birth-inspired cake is a great way to show an expecting mom just how excited everyone is for her to give birth. While it's the thought that counts, some of the cakes on the list below are so terrifying, they may have a mom wishing she could un-see her baby shower refreshments. Plus, giving birth has never been the most appetizing of subject matters. Check out these WTF cakes below. Feel free to cringe along with the soon-to-be mothers who had to witness these horrors while weeks away from popping out a baby...if you dare.
15 Special Delivery
Aw, how sweet. Someone obviously went to great lengths to make a cake that appears to be a 40-year-old man with a sour expression having some sort of unpleasant medical procedure. Nothing says we're excited you're having a baby like a disturbing piece of artwork that's also edible.
Note the little sign behind the "baby's" head. It says: "Merry Christmas!" This kind gesture could not have gone more off-course. It's apparent the person who made this monstrosity was attempting to make it look like a baby being born.
Unfortunately, it looks a lot like Conan O'Brien and a little like Donald Trump in his early years. There may even be a little Ron Weasley sprinkled in there. The red around the head is disgusting. We're guessing it's a point of entry, but would rather not speculate. Bottom line? Anyone who has ever seen this has probably uttered a WTF, at least in their head.
14 Bikini Babe
The best thing about this creation is the M&M border. It almost distracts from how strange and horrifying the rest of the cake is. Almost. But, almost doesn't count. Oh dear. Okay, where do we start?
This cake appears to be depicting a pregnant gal wearing a bikini top and a pearl necklace. Interesting and creative choices. Maybe the mom this cake was made for likes to go swimming with her most expensive piece of jewelry on..or maybe the baby arriving soon will be named Pearl?
What appears to be baby arms and legs are sticking out of the abdomen on the cake. There are black lines on the cake around the tummy and the bikini top. Are they stretch marks? Caterpillars? Tattoos? Whatever they are, they're distracting as hell, but they look a little delicious and may be made of Oreo crumbs. Who cares what in the world this cake is all about. Pass a fork!
13 Baby Blues
This cake gets points for being extremely realistic. Unfortunately, it's also inedible, because...it's extremely realistic. No one wants to dig in to a piece of cake that actually looks exactly like a little hand or foot. The little banner touting "Welcome Elsa!" Is adorable, as are the little mini scissors that were apparently used to cut Elsa's umbilical cord.
Despite all of this, the cake is an unappetizing masterpiece not fit for a future mom's consumption. We're guessing some guests may be polite when offered a very realistic looking baby ear for their shower refreshment, but making an expecting mother eat an imagined likeness of her own baby, which, by the way, appears to be totally dead, is not cool at all.
Points for craftsmanship and effort, but this kind baker should apply for a position creating fake corpses to be used on CSI and stop making baby shower cakes!
12 Baby Carrot Cake
Cute! Baby cowboys! Riding on carrots! This one is pretty freaking adorable, but also strange-as-hell. It's a mix of creepy and creative that isn't really inappropriate or inedible, just extremely random. It's as if the person throwing this shower forgot all about it, ran to Walmart 15 minutes before the party was supposed to start, and bought whatever cake was on sale.
Carrots don't really have anything to do with babies, so it's likely the shower-thrower hastily threw some plastic babies in the cart (becasue Walmart has everything), rushed home and plunked those suckers down on top of the carrots, feeling like a genius.
Sorry, unprepared shower-planner, but we're on to you. You can't just put a baby on it and say it's a theme cake. Let's just hope the expecting mom this shower was for didn't catch on to your obvious lack of preparation. Shower-throwers these days. It's as if they have better things to do with their time. Despicable.
11 I Dip, You Dip, We Dip
Alright, remain calm. We just have one question. WHAT IS THAT?! It actually and legitimately looks like poop and is causing us to dry heave uncontrollably. Please make it go away. Put the diaper back on that little guy and throw away the chips stat. Is anyone actually going to eat that?
It doesn't look like bean dip, avocado dip, crab dip or buffalo chicken dip. Is it a mixture of all of the above? Is the person throwing this shower insane? A sociopath? One who takes pleasure in watching people vomit into their purses while perusing the snack table? Whatever the f*** is going on here, we don't like it. Not one bit. We don't trust this shower-thrower, and neither should you.
If someone you know pulls this stunt, fire their ass, or demand they take everyone attending the shower to Buffalo Wild Wings for some proper appetizers.
10 Little Swimmers
Oh, now this is fun! A cake that represents the journey that took place to make little Evan James an actual living baby, no more just a twinkle in Mommy and Daddy's eyes. How beautiful. How artistic. We love how happy all of the spermy wormies on this cake are. They totally just missed their shot at survival. They will soon die a death that will never be commemorated.
They had once chance to make something of themselves, and they blew it. That other guy was just faster. He made contact. He's in. We're happy the maker of this cake is so high on life that they assume the swimmers who didn't succeed are happy about it. Great. Evan James is coming into a world that is way to optimistically unrealistic. He's doomed, or at least his shower refreshments are.
There has to be a silver lining. Look at it this way: in future years, his parents will have an awesome baby shower cake photo to help Evan learn about the birds and the bees. Redemption!
9 Nobody Puts Baby in a Cake
Wow! Someone went to a lot of trouble to create an absolutely disastrous cake. Is this a cake? It looks more like a plastic doll head surrounded by every sugary substance whoever made this had in their kitchen.
The goop on the doll's eye is what really puts this one in the WTF category. Or, it could be the outer ring. The brown sprinkles are not doing this cake any favors. It is cute that the hands are reaching up, as if to say, "Mommy! Hold me!" We hate to speculate that this may not have the desired affect.
It may instead give this mom-to-be a recurring nightmare that will last for the rest of her pregnancy, maybe even her life. No one is going to eat this. If they do, they are most likely very hungry...or very polite. Ever seen a live birth? Now you have, via cake. So sorry.
No! This is the most realistically terrifying cake that has ever been created. And, whoever made it decided, against their better judgement, to make the inside of the creation just as realistic as the outside. Who ate the top of this poor, adorable little cake's head? Who ate its hand? Most importantly...Who sliced it up and left it there?!
The cake is going to be totally dry now! In order to keep a baked good moist, it shouldn't be sliced until right before consumption. The only explanation is the cake was cut, but no one dared to eat it. Except for a few twisted souls who were like, "Cool! pass me some!" It's one thing to eat a pancake with a whipped cream smiley face. It's another entirely to eat a realistic looking and quite cute baby cake.
Whoever made this needs a lesson in when to make things look real, and when to opt for a more cartoony rendition. This concoction sends shivers down our spines, and it's likely they are never, ever going to go away.
7 Overall, Looks Yummy
So...is this cake supposed to be sexy? Why is the bosom so voluptuously spilling out of the fondant overalls? Why isn't the cake wearing a shirt? This PG-13 dessert is impressive, but we'd really love an explanation as to why the top portion is so flirtatious.
The foot protruding out of the belly is a nice touch. As is the "Welcome Baby" written in chocolate on the cake's tray. We love the color of the overalls, but once again wonder what the motivation was behind it.
Here's the verdict on this one: this cake definitely causes us to say WTF, but it's beautifully done, not overly graphic, and looks quite scrumptious. Sure, it's weird, but what is normal anyway? This is getting deep. We'll stop before things get too philosophical. Overall, this cake is strange, but sweet.
6 Graphic, Gross and Gut-Wrenching
Oh, lovely. This one takes the cake for unnecessary violent images, terrifying realism and making a soon-to-be mom dread giving birth like she never thought was possible. Great job, Chef Horror. You accomplished your goal of turning something as lovely as a cake into a gruesome, ghastly representation of one of the most beautiful moments in a woman's life.
Nothing personal, but, we HATE your cake. Where did the idea for this creation come from? Hell? If so, we wouldn't be surprised. It's tasteless in at least one sense of the word, and we're betting not many were brave enough to find out what this cake's flavor is.
The apparent blood on the baby's head, the crooked incision, the bloody scalpel, all of it is just the worst. We apologize to any future moms who have been traumatized by this cake and would like to assure them that this representation is wildly inaccurate.
5 Creature From the Jello Womb
This is a cake? What is it made of? How was it created? The image in front of us is as baffling as it is disturbing. The little baby-creature-thing floating in the most unappetizing concoction ever is enough to make anyone thing twice about having children.
The blue, blue eyes, the red, red smile and the pale, pale skin only make it worse. The dress surrounding the cake implies that it's a baby inside of it's mommy, just swimming around, smiling, waiting to be born.
Sadly, it appears that a lot of effort went into this little number, and that the person who made it had only the best of intentions. We highly recommend the chef of this cake should just go to Walmart next time, buy the cheapest cake there, and decorate it with plastic babies. Anything would be better than this. To be fair, it isn't gory, and it isn't overtly sexual, but it is still extremely terrifying. We don't want a bite.
4 Creepy, Creepy Cake
Um...Yikes. This appears to be a pregnant belly with a baby or something coming out of it in the exact way a baby never ever would. There's a hand holding a sign that reads: "Ready or not...Here I come!" This would be clever if the cake wasn't so incredibly fear-inducing.
And, what the heck is that other thing coming out of this apparent stomach? Another hand? A loooong finger? It's better not to know. The good news is that this cake is destroyable and not accurate in any way, shape or form. The person who made it may be horrible at making cakes, a meany who likes to scare pregnant people into labor or just a very misinformed individual.
Whatever the case, this cake should be smashed ASAP and thrown into the trash compactor. Whoever made this should then be subjected to an intensive anatomy lesson, and a short lecture on appropriate baby shower foods.
3 They Tried
At least the person who made this was attempting to create something heart-warming and beautiful. In our opinion, they failed, and this cake is creepy as f***, but it's the thought that counts. So, this cake is twins in a big red oval-shaped uterus chilling until their arrival? Lovely. We still wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot fork. It's just so...red.
The babies are cute in an E.T. type of way. Cute enough that we'd never want to consume them while still being creepy enough to give us at least a few nightmares.
Here's the bottom line: making a cake for a baby shower? The less realistic the better. The less uteruses and umbilical cords and realistic babies on the cake the better. Got it? Good. Do better next time, person who made this. Remember, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
2 Poor Ethan
Points for creativity, but this cake is one of the worst. Why? Well, poor Ethan hasn't even taken his first breath, and he's already being depicted as some alien-demon wearing a strange bonnet. This poor kid. Let him be born and make his own fashion faux pas.
His face does not look in any way human. His poor mom! What if they used a photo of her to predict what baby E-dawg will look like? The remote and TV guide that accompany this cake almost make it okay, but glance up at Ethan again and any possibilities that this cake might be cute disappear in a heartbeat.
Oh, hi there, little guy! Just popping out of Mom's belly button to say hello? How sweet, how funny...how stupid! That's not anatomically possible! Stop creeping everyone out, cake baby!
Please. Seriously. Stop. Your tongue with a hole in it and green lips are enough to send anyone to therapy. Your bulging eyes aren't helping your cause any. Make it go away! For the love of babies everywhere, someone please eat this cake and put it out of its misery!
Have a BFF or sister-in-law who's expecting? Chances are baby shower plans may be in your near future. Lucky duck. A word of caution: if making a cake for the event, please avoid creating anything like what is shown above, and stay away from anything too realistic, too creepy or too bloody and gory. May we make a suggestion? Blue cupcakes for a boy. Pink cupcakes for a girl. Really want to get crazy? Throw a plastic baby on it.