It’s that time of year again, to sneak around keeping a big secret. The Santa secret that is. Collecting gift lists, hiding presents, and going on secret shopping sprees. It’s all a part of the holiday spirit as we ante up for Christmas Day.
Some parents are so good at this, they keep their kids believing for ten, sometimes 12 years! By, then, they just gotta break it to them, frankly as can be. They have done their parenting job so well that it’s tricky to figure out how to bring their kids into reality.
The only thing worse than the almost teenager who still believes in Santa Claus, are the kids who got the surprise spoiled a little too early on. Imagine the little tots who have the horror of discovering the sham from very early on! If this doesn’t create a Grinch, we don’t know what will.
Some of us aren’t so good at this Santa stuff. Maybe we don’t believe in the magic anymore, hate lying to our kiddos, or just plain stink at keeping a good secret. It can get super intense trying to tip toe around the mistletoe trying to keep this massive lie we tell our kids!
Don’t worry though, you probably can’t fail as bad as these parents did! Check out these hysterical and shocking tales of total Christmas sabotage. Even the best parents have managed to make a total mess of the holiday season, spilling the beans a little too soon!
15 Beer And Fries
What kids hasn’t left out milk and cookies for Santa? And maybe carrots for Rudolph, too? This is an age-old tradition dating back so many years we can’t even remember how it began.
But, perhaps we feel the need to get a little creative from time to time. Maybe a hot cocoa and candy cane? Egg nog and chocolate pretzels? Whatever it was, we all ran straight to the plate the next morning, to be sure there was nothing left but crumbs and crusty milk.
This was pure, undeniable evidence that Santa had made a delivery the night before. At least for those with innocent minds.
What was this parent thinking when he asked the poor kid to leave out beer and fries?! Yes, BEER and fries!
“I knew Santa wasn’t real when my Dad asked me to leave out beer and fries instead of cookies and milk”- Whisper Confession
14 Elf Blood
Sometimes our parents tell us some pretty outlandish stuff, little white lies to get us through life’s toughest lessons. But, there comes a time when they have gone a little too far!
“When I was little, my parents told me that the reason my ears stuck out was because I had elf blood in me. It was only after I had an argument with a friend about it at school when I was nine that my mum thought it was time to tell me that not only did I have no elf relatives but that elves didn't exist at all.
She then saw this as the perfect opportunity to also tell me that the tooth fairy wasn't real either. Understandably, I was really upset.'What's next?' I said. 'You're going to tell me that Santa doesn't exist either?' My parents just looked at each other without saying a word before bursting out laughing. Gutted.” -blytheb2 on buzzfeed.com
13 Wishlist Verification
The day after Thanksgiving, kids everywhere start compiling their lists of Christmas wishes for dear, old Santa Claus. Sometimes hilarious, and often well thought out, the lists continue to grow until the day comes to pop it in the mail.
Then, out of sight, out of mind. The requests have been made, and the rest is up to the naughty or nice list. Days on end of waiting and wishing and hoping that the worst of the worst days were not bad enough to earn coal in the stocking.
But, if you ever got a phone call to verify your list, it should have at least been in the voice of an elf! Not from your Dad’s secretary!
“My dad's secretary called me when I was 10 to have me clarify my list to Santa because my handwriting was messy. That pretty much cleared it up right there.” Sheridan Watson on buzzfeed.com
12 Officially Naughty Listed
We all have day jobs, right? Some of them very far removed from the rhymes and riddles of parenthood and childhood fantasy. Some of them so important, that we might forget for a single moment that we have little ones watching and listening at home.
If there was ever a time that one should have thought before they spoke, there is also a time to think before you tweet! What do you say to your kids when they call you out on this one?!
“Dad, did you make a public announcement…from a military account, stating that Santa isn’t real?!”
It is completely impossible to deny the impeccable memory of social media. No matter how quickly you delete it, these little tidbits will still be floating around out there! Be careful what you tweet. The kids might not be on Twitter, but they will hear it through the grape vine.
11 Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
It’s not uncommon for kids on the brink of believing or not believing, to do some investigating. Sometimes with a little snooping through things and sneaking around, the little ones will come to figure out the truth on their own.
But, others never question the honor of their parents, or the legitimacy of the Santa theme. Even so, the truth always comes out. We just hope that the clues are not enough to scar a kid for life!
“One year for Christmas I got a camcorder from "Santa." A while later, I popped in one of the tapes that came with it and found footage of my parents' bedroom from November. Turns out they tested it to see if it worked. So after a while, I finally confronted them about it, and I think they were actually surprised I still thought that Santa was real.”-scopp on buzzfeed.com
10 Santa Is A Cheap-o!
We all do the best we can, to get the best stuff for our kids. But, let’s be real, Christmas is expensive. Sometimes we simply must scout out the best deal or wait for the last sale.
By then, we might be pressed for time, to slap the wrapping on the presents and toss them under the tree. But, slow down just a second! Don’t forget to take the time to take the tags off! Santa’s workshop does not use tags, especially not clearance stickers!
Little numbers on neon tags are surefire way to spoil the wonder of the season.
"My son figured out that I was Santa when he opened his present and discovered that I forgot to remove the clearance stickers from the bottom of the toy. He looked at me and said, 'Santa is a cheap-o!' Yes, he is. Yes he is." -- Brynn D., Tucson, Arizona -thestir.momcafe.com
9 Christmas Unboxed
Somebody behind this ad was a parent for sure, carefully crafting the heartfelt message for the perfect holiday commercial. But, customers weren’t so amused, claiming that the 30 second spoiler has ruined Christmas for innocent bystanders.
The snippet not only omitted Santa Claus completely, but blatantly showed a father collecting Amazon packages full of Christmas gifts and hiding them from the kids. Outrage spawned from every corner of the North Pole and beyond.
Duh! Many kids who still believe in Santa are the pre-school age, hanging around at home with exposure to televisions and computers. High risk commercial right there!
The commercial only aired in the UK before it was pulled off the scene. But, the damage was done and apparently kids within the viewing audience were devastated over the reality of the scene. It was a big Oops for Amazon and a major downer for shoppers in the holiday spirit.
8 Coal For Christmas
"When he was in first grade, my son had a rough year. For a variety of reasons, he was having some behavior issues at home and school. I didn't realize how much it affected him until Christmas morning. He opened his Santa present but didn't seem that excited about it. I kept asking him what was wrong and then he said 'I don't think Santa is real. If he was, I would be on the naughty list.'
Well. That just broke my heart and I burst into tears. Full on ugly crying. My crying freaked him out, so he started crying and that made me cry more and then he cried so hard that he barfed on the Christmas tree.
It was AWFUL at the time but now that he is a teenager it is one of our funniest family memories. We like the dark humor, I guess." -- Mary Jo B., Cleveland, Ohio -thestir.cafemom.com
7 Merry Christmas, MR. Robinson
Perhaps if you are a father of three, you might have some clue to the importance of fictional characters like Santa Claus and Father Christmas. But, apparently even big media stars like Nick Robinson from BBC make Christmas bloopers.
In one quick moment, he forgot his loyalty towards Dad status and made a startling announcement to his talk show listeners.
During a live radio broadcast earlier this year, Robinson casually babbled in mid conversation: "It's like learning Father Christmas isn't real for the first time, isn't it? I'm still in shock."
Professionalism aside, he hadn’t considered that this show airs live during breakfast time. And that it might be blasting in the range of little ears. He was quickly ridiculed on Twitter for his shameful lack of respect for believers within ear shot.
Later, he retracted his statement and offered an apology. He even stated that his own commentary was fake news…and that indeed, Father Christmas is quite legit.
6 Santa’s Sleigh Explained By Science
Maybe it isn’t totally the fault of the parents when they pick a good school for their kids to go to. Perhaps they are not even to blame if they had a say in selecting the best teacher. But, somebody has to be blamed when reality has not blurry edges!
“I was in fifth grade. While I had my doubts about Santa, I always tried to maintain positive of his existence due to my father saying, "if you don't believe, you don't receive," and goddammit, I wanted those presents.
It all fell apart when my teacher decided to tell us a "funny" story with scientific facts that outlined how it would be physically impossible for anyone to travel the world in 24 hours. My teacher explicitly stated that Santa would die if he traveled at the necessary speed to complete such a feat.”- jasonp463428132 on buzzfeed.com
5 Santa Isn’t Cuban?
It isn’t too surprising that perceptions of Santa vary by culture, region, and even country. Although the typical commercialized Santa has a pink nose and big, white beard…the rest is rather variable. Still, the creation of a culturally specific Santa spelled backfire for this kiddo.
“I️n first grade Santa came to our school for a toy drive, and I️ turned to my teacher and said “That isn’t Santa, Santa is Cuban.” Her face alone told me I️ had clearly been lied to up until then. My father is Cuban, and would dress up as Santa every Christmas and wake me up saying “Ho Ho Ho” in a very thick accent. I️ got in the car after school and looked at my mom and said “Santa isn’t Cuban is he? I️s he even real?!” And that’s how I️ learned Santa is make believe.”-Ibeth on buzzfeed.com
4 Santa Is Dead
"I have twin boys. One of them is dreamy and imaginative. One of them is super literal and a very concrete thinker. The first kid loved Santa and all the magic of Christmas. The second one was suspicious from like age 2.
Last year my Santa believer came to me crying and said that his brother told him that Santa wasn't real. He was devastated. I told him to hold on and went to talk to his brother. I tried to patiently explain to kid #2 about how it isn't nice to tell other kids that and that his brother wants to believe, etc.
Kid #2 listens, nods, and marches out to where his brother was crying on the couch and says, 'Okay. Santa WAS real. But now he is dead. Do you feel better?' He did not, in fact, feel better. My wife and I joke that our son's nickname is Dream Killer." -- Laurie R., Greensville, Kansas-thestir.cafemom.com
3 Spoiled Milk And Cookies
When you are going out of your way to earn some milk and cookies, don’t forget to check the ingredients! Especially if the kids are doing the honors, the last thing you need on Christmas Eve is food poisoning from old anything. But, especially old milk.
If your littles are not capable of creating fool-proof concoctions, you just might pay for your lies in a bigger fashion that anticipated. Not only will the spoilt food have you outed, but you might spend the night with the porcelain god rather than under the Christmas tree.
There is no better confirmation of bad cooking and “bad” parenting, than a night of regrets alone on the toilet! Think twice before demanding home-made cookies.
“I found out Santa wasn’t real when I put spoiled milk in the cookies and my Dad was in the bathroom for 7 hours.” -Whisper confession.
2 Robbed By Santa
Have you ever thought about how odd some of the concepts of Christmas are? Particularly when it comes to Santa Claus. Why do we tell our kids to sit on the lap of a complete stranger? And why is it okay for someone to sneak into our house in the middle of the night while we are all sleeping?
We preach about stranger danger, we lock our cars at night, and we seal the windows and doors to our precious homes. Yet, on Christmas Eve we don’t even blink at the confusion we might be causing our youngest ones.
Would your kids let in a total stranger on Christmas Eve, if they really believed that it was Santa Claus?
“When I was 5, I let a robber in through my window thinking he was Santa Claus. The next day my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real.” -Whisper confession.
1 Dead End Letters To Santa
Every parent is deserving of adult time, moments for enjoyment and guilty pleasure, or even the nonsense of television commentary. But, sometimes we just don’t think about it that our kids might be listening in.
While making breakfast, getting ready for work, doing the laundry, we forget that our favorite distractions are still within reach of little ears. But, be careful what you’re watching with an absent mind. You never know who might be clinging on to words never intended for them.
How bad would you feel if your morning addiction was responsible for ruining Christmas for your kid? Apparently, it happens more often than you would think.
“The Today show ruined it for me. They ran a story about what post offices do with all the letters to Santa, 'cause apparently they don't go to the North Pole. Thanks a lot, Matt Lauer.”-Intharwell on Buzzfeed.com