Oh Snooki, you've made so many mistakes. I feel bad for being judgemental, but hey, she put her life out there for everyone to judge. She's made some really bad choices, from horrible makeup and tanning jobs to just being an overall loud-mouthed jerk. But I'd be lying if I said I haven't done some stupid things, especially in my early twenties. I shudder just thinking about where I'd be right now had I put myself out there at a young age the way she did.
I've got to hand it to her though, she's really come a long way. She's super fit, took her makeup game up a few notches, and seems to be focusing on her daughter. But she can't run from her past. It's just too juicy and entertaining to look back on those first few years of her fame. I'm sure she's not particularly proud of those days, but hey, she should just be proud of where she is now. You can't change your past, but she's doing a damn good job of changing her future. She's on the right track now.
If I was her mom, I would have had a heart attack every time I turned on the TV or opened up a magazine back then. I mean, man, was she wild. Partying, dressing in ridiculous outfits, fighting, sleeping around, she did it all. It really makes you wonder what she did off camera, as wild as she was when she was on! Let's take a look at some pictures that Snooki probably wants us to forget about.
15 The Aftermath
Remember when Snooki got punched in the face by a gym teacher in Season one? Yeah, me neither, I didn't really keep up with the show. But I've seen this picture before. Yeesh, who would want this out there? I had no idea that she had been punched! I figured it was just some drunk mishap. But nope! Apparently, some random drunk guy punched her after getting into a spat over drinks. The bartender had cut him off, so he took to stealing drinks from Snooki and her crew, which lead to the fight. It was a big whole deal, and MTV even pulled the scene from the episode so as to not "promote violence against women". Smart move MTV. Snooki was only 21 at the time. I'm not a huge fan of hers, but absolutely no one deserves to be attacked like that.
14 Where's The Beach?
This was a particularly embarrassing episode for Snooki. Season 3, episode 3, Snooki was arrested for disorderly conduct. After a long night of partying the night before, she was so hungover when she arrived to work that morning, that her boss sent her out for some coffee to sober up. What did she do instead? She went out and got some shots, of course! Which led her to aimlessly stumble around the beach, acting a fool. How many hours did she stay drunk for? It was like one big long binge.
She ended up getting so hammered (in the middle of the day, I might add), that she was arrested. The whole time she was loudly asking "Where's the beach?!", "Where is the beach?" It was right in front of her. How embarrassing! She didn't live this one down for a while.
This is the mugshot taken after her arrest for her drunken day on the beach. The beach that she couldn't find!
The picture was released the following Monday, and the media was quick to jump on board. It spread like wildfire! It looks like poor Snook-Snook had been crying quite a bit. Can you blame her? She was arrested. Cameras rolling and everything. And she was wasted! She probably didn't even know what was going on. She wasn't locked up for very long though, and police told People Magazine that she wasn't in too much trouble. She had to stay for a few hours to sober up, but since she wasn't fighting anyone or being too crazy, she was only charged with disorderly conduct. The media blew it up a bit, but that's nothing new.
12 Car Accident
Snooki and Deena got into a car accident while visiting Florence during Season 4 of Jersey Shore. After a long night of partying (go figure), the girls were just starting to sober up when Snooki got into a fender bender. She rear-ended some cops who were escorting them around, and though it wasn't too serious, the accident sent two cops to the hospital.
The girls were just fine, surprisingly. They were taken to the station to fill out routine paperwork but were not arrested. Prior to the incident, the crew managed to rack up over $300 worth of fines over traffic violations and complained that driving in the city was difficult. Snooki even claimed that the brakes weren't working, but who knows. It's easy to shove the blame off when you're constantly drunk or hungover.
11 Hot Tub Fun
At the end of Season 1 of Jersey Shore, Snooki and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino "hooked up". AKA made out in a hot tub on camera. They admitted in an interview with Chelsea Handler that it goes further than that, especially on the road. Mike even admitted that they save the good stuff for off-camera. Um, yeah, I would hope they don't go too far in front of the camera.
Snooki assured everyone that "it's not weird" though. I don't know girl, I think it's pretty weird. I'm sure Mike isn't all that bad, but anyone with a nickname like "The Situation" isn't really my type. I can only imagine that these pictures come back to haunt her every now and then. I know I would hate it, especially as a married woman and a mother.
Ew! I'm sorry, I'm not a gigantic prude, but my God. Where is society headed? It honestly scares me that people are totally okay with saying things like this in front of other people. On camera, even! Yeesh, what is kind of world are my kids going to grow up in?
If you're young and up for experimenting with different people, whatever. You do you. But do you have to tell everyone about it? It's just so trashy. I mean, it's not like this was news to anybody, but it's not helping her case. Things like this are what would make me worry the most if I was in her shoes. One day her daughter is going to find quotes and videos of her mom being a young floozy, and it's not going to be pretty. How do you convince your daughter she needs to save it for someone special when there's video proof of you saying things like this as a young woman? Let's hope she instills good values and is able to explain that she wants her daughter to be better than she was. That's what we all want, after all.
9 Snooki Cleans The "Smoosh Room"
It doesn't get any grosser than this. Snooki and JWoww took to cleaning up the household "Smoosh Room". In other words, the dirty, nasty room that everyone gets freaky in. Why? Because Snooki was preparing to get it on!
I'm not sure if she was just being dramatic (because you can't really put that past her), or if she truly was concerned for her safety. Any room that makes you want to dress in trash bags when you enter it can't be good. I shudder to even think about the nastiness that room has seen. At least they clean it, right? I guess!
This is just embarrassing. I mean, really? "I gotta go clean our community sex room before it's my turn!" Ew. Try explaining that one to your daughter. You can't really explain that one away.
8 Fighting Angelina
At the end of Season 2, Angelina finally decides to leave Jersey Shore. Everyone went out for drinks and when they came back, her bags were packed and she was ready to go. Snooki, who was a little boozed up as usual, finally blew up over the drama that had been going on between them for a long time. They both had slept with Vinny, and another guy named Alex, and the tension had been building hardcore for over two months. Snooki took off her earrings and attacked her.
It wasn't the craziest fight in the world, considering neither of them are really all that great at fighting. But hey, it was juicy. And embarrassing. It's just another thing to add to the long list of crazy things Snooki has done. Angelina left the show and never returned, which pretty much made everyone happy, viewers included. One less drama queen in the clan.
7 Making Out With Deena
Remember that time the girls got in a car accident in Italy? Well, this was the night before. Yeah. Gross, right?
Nothing wrong with a little experimenting, but this incident was beyond nasty. If you're going to make out with your friend, can you at least wait until you're somewhere private? It was described as the two "digesting each other's tongues". Yeah, it sure does look that way. Not to mention, Snooki was seeing someone at the time, so she had to come clean the next day. Did he care? No, of course not. This is Jersey Shore fantasy land, where anything goes. Makeout with whoever's next to you while you're blackout drunk. Have sex in a community "Smoosh Room". If your friend has been with someone you're interested in hooking up with already, not to worry. Trivial things like "loyalty" and "class" don't apply in Jersey Shore.
6 Snooki, The Lobster Lover
Ah, another famous Snooki quote. She will absolutely never live this one down. What a loving, cruelty-free chick she is!
I mean, really. Come on, Snooki! Girl! Use your head. I know what she's trying to say, but even when you take that into account, it's still just a dumb thing to say. Every time you eat meat, you're eating something that was killed for your consumption. Does it really make a difference that a lobster was killed more recently than the cow that made your hamburger? Get real.
This picture has been turned into so many different memes, and she's received a ton of criticism over the quote. I don't imagine it will die down anytime soon. It's still a pretty dang popular quote, years later. Maybe she'll change her views and totally cut out meat since she's so against the killing of animals. I'm willing to bet that she won't, though.
5 Just Go Inside
Snooki made sure everyone knew what they were in for from the get-go. In the first Season, during a (you guessed it!) day drinking binge, she casually squatted out in the back deck to relieve herself. Yeah, that's fine. Except she was at home! Just go inside!
It's really no shocker, but it sucks that the incident was caught on camera. It's not like I've never peed outside before. But I don't typically do that when I'm literally a few feet away from a toilet. It just doesn't make any sense. Unless you're drunk, which Snooki always was back then. So, yeah. I suppose it made perfect sense to her at the time. You have to go pee? Just go! Why waste the energy walking all the way inside, right? And who wipes, anyway? Not the folks in Jersey Shore, apparently.
4 Wardrobe Malfunction
Snooki gave photographers a little more than they were expecting one afternoon while she was out shopping. How does this even happen? In other pictures, she's seen trying to cover up and pull her skirt down. But it honestly doesn't look like she's trying all that hard. Was it really an accident?
And it's not like it should come as a surprise anyway! She's literally wearing NO underwear under her super short shirt. What did she think was going to happen? She either didn't care, or she wanted it to happen. Who knows with her. It's just strange when you're already getting a ton of publicity, why flash anyone? Or, I guess the better question is, why isn't she wearing any underwear? That's pretty trashy. So, when she sat down anywhere that day, was her hoo-haw just out in the open, sitting on the bare chair? Yuck!
3 She's Attracted To Trees, Too?
Yep, that's exactly what it looks like, people. Snooki got so drunk she humped a tree. It's hard to say what was going through her head at this moment, but I have a feeling it had more to do with getting attention than it did with feeling sexually attracted to a tree. Unless she was on drugs or something, which wouldn't surprise me, honestly. I've been to my fair share of parties, and I gotta say - it wasn't usually the drunks who were out humping trees. It was people who had taken some harder drugs.
Oh, Snooki. I'm shaking my head. What were you thinking? Is she really this excitable? Is she looking for male approval? What is going on here? Ps - I'm glad those puffy shoes haven't made a comeback. At least, not that I've seen. Please leave them in 2011 Snooki. I beg of you. They weren't cute then, and they're definitely not cute now.
2 Ride It
You know, I gotta say, Snooki looks pretty good in these photos. Well, this one is pretty funny, but most of them are actually pretty flattering. In a few of the shots, she has a minor nip slip through, and it seems she's gone out of her way to have them taken down. There are articles written about it, but most of the pictures have been removed. Again, what was she thinking? If you're wearing a lowcut shirt, maybe you should skip the bull ride, or do a better job of covering up.
I'm curious to know if she's really the reason the pictures have been taken down. If so, why does she suddenly care? Why are these photos a no-go, when there are so many others out there? Her outfits don't leave very much to the imagination as it is.
1 Pole Dancing
This whole set of photos was truly embarrassing. I know she was just having fun, but given her background, it just makes things even worse. It doesn't help that she's not very good at it, either.
Hey, I wouldn't be good at it either! Don't worry Snooki, I don't think I could show you up on the pole at all. But I wouldn't be caught dead up there, either. If you don't really know what you're doing, no amount of drinking should put you up there. You may feel like a rock star after a few (dozen) shots, but it's just getting worse by the moment. Truly horrible. At least she's not wearing those dang fuzzy boots here. I don't know if I could handle all that. I'm happy that she's grown up a little bit, though dishing out the personal details of her daughter's conception was still a bit trashy. Oh well, what more could you expect from a member of Jersey Shore? Good luck Snooki, you're in for it when your kids hit puberty.