Pregnancy can feel like kind of a vulnerable time, perhaps most especially for first-time moms.

The great unknown looms ahead – in so many scary ways. Even if you put aside fears about what it will be like to go through labor and childbirth, take care of a quite helpless newborn, and then proceed to raise a healthy and decent human being, just those 9-ish months of having a baby onboard can cause quite a lot of worry and anxiety.

Companies seem to know this – and know how to take advantage of it. For every problem, they seem to have found a solution, in the form of a product that can be ordered easily online or picked up at your local baby boutique with the swipe of a credit card… only to sit in your closet with the rest of the junk you didn’t end up needing or using.

Sometimes, they even seem to invent problems out of the blue, the better to sell products to “fix” them.

Yep, some of it’s quite crazy, all of it will cost you a pretty penny, and most of it could be considered quite pointless. It’s 15 pregnancy products moms (sometimes hilariously) waste money on.

15 Cervical Sound System

Let me just start this out by saying I have never met a doctor who advised sticking anything up into the vagina during pregnancy. Anything that can introduce infection or isn’t medically necessary should probably stay outside of the vagina where it belongs, right?

But remember back in this piece’s introduction how we mentioned that sometimes manufacturers of pregnancy products seem to sort of invent “problems” that must be addressed out of thin air?

Well here’s an example: Do you think the baby can’t hear music you play for them well enough when you simply, well, play it? Do you think inserting a speaker into your body would help solve that so-called dilemma?

Someone out there apparently thought this was a good – and marketable – idea.

Just hook up your iPod or phone to the Babypod sound system down under! (Not.)

14 The Mama Strut By Pelv-Ice

The name is almost the best part: It’s the Mama Strut by Pelv-Ice. (Pelv-Ice – get it?? Like “pelvis”??)

Surely, many a mom or mom-to-be has been convinced that this product would be essential to her postpartum recovery after vaginal birth.

Here’s one problem with shelling out $129 dollars for this getup: Some women who plan on having vaginal births end up have C-sections.

Here’s another problem: It’s most likely only really in the hours or perhaps days immediately following birth that an ice pack will really be helpful or necessary – and a nurse who’s done this a few times probably has a nifty trick up her sleeve to deal with it.

Sure, a standard ice pack may not fit great and you may have trouble getting it to stay against the sore areas – but a disposable diaper soaked with clean water and frozen? That’s probably juuuust right. Just stick it in the (also hospital-provided) disposable briefs.

13 Trash-Able Maternity Briefs

So before you run out and buy these Disposable Maternity Briefs – which more than one gal online claims are actually kind of a great idea – here me now: They give these away for free once you’re in the hospital.

Pre-delivery, I can’t quite imagine why you would need these, except for maybe during labor itself, like if your water had broken and you were struggling to contain what was leaking out on your way to the hospital… but I can’t really see too many gals saying, “Oh, wait! Let me find and put on my special disposable underpants! I wouldn’t want the ones I’m wearing to get ruined!”

The other thing I noticed that may be of interest to potential buyers of these bad boys is that they cost just about the same price as cotton panties from a certain designer lingerie brand found quite easily the world over (Victoria’s secret) – and that packs of cotton briefs from a certain warehouse discount store (Costco) are even cheaper per pair.

12 Maternity Barf Bags

You know when you’re out and about and not near a toilet and you have that sudden urge to vomit – but you really want to do it in style?

Me neither.

But how funny that someone has created and marketed – and that someone is apparently purchasing – these specialized, ultra-feminine Morning

Chicness barf bags.

Does it make it any better if it’s contained in a frilly receptacle? Not really.

Also, where exactly do women find themselves needing these? When is there not a bathroom nearby – or, like, a bush?

Maybe this is something that pregnant ladies’ friends and relatives are wasting their money on, rather than the pregnant gals themselves? I could see people buying this as a funny gift for, say, their sister or their daughter-in-law: “Here, hon: Now even your puke will be stylish!”

11 A "We Collect" Cup

Do gals really have enough trouble getting their urine into a collection cup at prenatal appointments that they require a special "We Collect" tool?

I mean, I guess if they do, it’s sort of a neat tool, with its little handle to get the collection area in just the right spot. But the handle on this thing just doesn’t look to be that long, and I’d bet most very pregnant ladies would still be kind of flyin’ blind as far as getting this into the correct position… much like they would when just holding the collection cup under the, um, stream.

Hey, if this has helped preggos in their third trimesters have a better day when they go to those weekly prenatal appointments, then great! And they really do collect a sample every single time.

But is a special tool required to get an ounce or two of pee into a cup?

10 Down-Under Massage Oil

Many a midwife or labor and delivery nurse will tell you that they have seen first-hand the benefits of perineal massage, either during pregnancy, during childbirth, or C) all of the above.

So there doesn’t seem to be anything wasteful about putting some time and effort into that. Hey, if you can prevent vaginal tearing or lessen its severity, it just might be worth a try, right?

But do you really need a specialized massage oil for those particular parts? Um, probably not.

Skipping the oil or using something like plain old olive oil are routes many a gal has taken.

What would I do? I’d talk to my doctor about any and all things health-related.

And honestly, I wouldn’t give up my hard-earned baby-and-pregnancy-writing dollars for something so specific as this.

9 Buoyant Babe

I bet this one is more popular than you might think.

See, I didn’t know just how many women sleep on their stomachs until the question was raised at one of my prenatal / childbirth classes when I was pregnant for the first time.

Swear, it seemed like everyone except for me and one or two others in a room of something like 20 raised their hand to say that yes, they did greatly miss being able to sleep on their tummies.

Someone out there is claiming that this specialized Holo raft is juuuust the ticket to solve this maternity complaint.

See, it might disrupt blood flow through the vena cava to sleep on the back or stomach – so pregnant stomach sleepers are offered a blow-up raft so they can lie face down or even float around in the pool.

8 Poky Underwear

Why, oh why, do they sell so many maternity and nursing bras with underwires?

I mean, I’m fine with underwire bras for everyday, non-pregnant use. I know my mom’s generation sometimes chose to take a strong anti-bra (or only super non-confining and comfortable bra) stance back in their day. You know… peace, love, and protruding nipples…

I actually even sold the things as one of my earlier jobs – and it was fun!

But many have cautioned that underwires can get in the way of milk flowing and lead to problems while producing milk and nursing. Some point out that this isn’t for certain – but why take the chance?

There are so many more flexible, stretchy, comfortable maternity bras out there – that can be used for nursing without any question of doubt. Nursing boobs tend to change in size so much – even within a single day – that stretch and flexibility become awesome, if not totally necessary.

7 Pillow Pals

I love, love, love the idea of pregnancy support pillows – just ask my husband, who had the pleasure of finding them and purchasing them and sharing his bed with them on and off as I attempted to find comfortable sleep positions.

I had one with three different pieces that looked incredibly comfortable. You should have seen that lady on the package, serenely snoozing with her head, bump, and legs all gracefully and perfectly supported.

The reality was, I still tossed and turned, and though we still have the pillow, it’s shoved back into its plastic package and shoved away somewhere, I think under the bed, where it’s certainly not doing much good.

Though preggos may readily shell out cash for “sleep aids” to try to get comfortable some way, somehow, it’s hard to find something that actually does the trick. (A wadded-up blanket became my product of choice.)

6 Jeans Jokes

Sometimes they’re an elastic piece attached to the jeans’ existing closure. Sometimes it’s a stretchy fabric band worn around the top to hold them up. But here’s the thing about these (sometimes quite pricey) jeans expanders marketed to pregnant women so they’ll be able to continue wearing their beloved pairs all throughout pregnancy: Those pre-pregnancy pants probably just don’t fit.

Yes, I realize that the whole idea behind these devices is to bring together a waste that no longer fits over a baby bump in order to hold up the jeans – but many women can’t get their old jeans up over their thighs, hips, and butts once they’re far enough along in pregnancy to have a sizeable bump.

And there’s not exactly any reason to have a special contraption to hold up jeans that you can’t even get up in the first place, now is there?

5 Miracle Creams

Some of them are marketed as special “bump” creams and salves, while others simply exist as the stuff of miracles in old wives’ tales. For example, have you ever heard that slathering cocoa butter lotion on your belly, hips, and thighs during or after pregnancy would prevent the appearance of stretch marks?

It’s such a common practice to use the stuff during pregnancy and after. But guess what? Whether or not you start to look down and see stretch marks once with child has more to do with genetics and weight gain – not temptingly scented moisturizers.

If you like the way it smells, great. If you think it helps to make your skin feel less dry or itchy as it stretches quite incredibly, grand!

But if you think it will prevent the appearance of stretch marks, might wanna save your money.

4 Very Strange Visual Aids

Now, my oldest was still quite young when my second baby was born, so while I did explain as soon as we were sharing the big news that I was growing a baby in there – and she did end up actually witnessing the birth – I never felt it was necessary just yet to go into all of the nitty-gritty details.

I’m all about letting her know how reproduction works as soon as she’s interested and can understand, but the fact that a baby was “in Mommy’s tummy” was about the appropriate level at the time.

But perhaps some mamas out there find this little product useful in explaining the birds and the bees, or, um, the births.

That’s right – this doll (and multiple others out there on the World Wide Web) can be used to illustrate just what happens when a baby is born, full-frontal style.

3 Overdoing The Maternity Wardrobe

Believe me – I know how tempting it can be to buy an entire new wardrobe of maternity clothes based on how good they make you look right now, but it may be a mistake to be quite so shortsighted.

While I’m all about having clothes that fit you well and make you feel comfortable and look your best at each and every stage of life, I would like to caution that it may be a mistake not to consider getting some pieces that will last you longer than, say, three to six months.

Specifically, I’d warn new moms against buying too many maternity tops and dresses that don’t also double as nursing clothes.

So many quality options are now available with hidden slits, clip-down functions, and more crafty approaches to easily and seamlessly get access to the breast for nursing on the go.

Sure beats only being able to wear something for a few months before you have to ditch it or watch it collect dust!

2 Itsy-Bitsy Brassieres

I know pregnant women waste their money on bras – because I’ve done it.

Here’s the problem: You may read at the start of pregnancy that it’s not a good idea to wear underwire bras – or you may simply find that they are uncomfortable. But you look in your dresser or closet to find nothing but this specific type of bra. (Well, now things are swinging back to be a little more ’90s cotton and elastic Calvin Kline bralette… but I know I had mainly underwire Victoria’s Secret in my pre-pregnant collection.)

So you have to go out and get some bras that are comfortable in the moment – but you go overboard. And you end up wearing them for only a few weeks or months – because toward the end of pregnancy and afterward, the breasts often increase at least a size or two, rendering all those brand-new bras quite useless.

1 Eccentric Accessories

You know when you’re just so stoked on the idea of pregnancy that you want to follow a very graphic pregnant theme in all of your clothing and accessories?

No? Me neither.

Do you know someone who just absolutely needs this brooch artistically portraying none other than a placenta?

Someone out there thought it was a great idea to craft a pin that looked like a tiny internal organ that’s grown during pregnancy to help nourish the fetus and is then expelled as afterbirth.

Hey, what some call a bizarre waste of money, others probably call great art, or a symbol of connection, or a beautiful reminder of the basic anatomical facts of pregnancy, and of life!

What do you think?

Will you be ordering this beauty immediately or adding it to your baby registry list?

Sources: Parenting.com, PopSugar.com, BabyCenter.com, Pinterest.com, YouTube.com