Post pregnancy stress topped with moral dilemma? Sign me up right away,said no woman ever.
So let’s just assume that a woman has successfully given birth after a daunting pregnancy. The child is healthy, everyone is happy. Cool, right? Things seem right in place.
We might even imagine a photograph of a woman serenely smiling down at her baby bundled up in her arms. But upon looking closely, we find a woman overburdened by expectations. Everyone expects mothers and motherhood to be oh so perfect. After being physically and emotionally drained throughout the pregnancy, this is the most unfair expectations in the world.
Mothers themselves want to be perfect for their children. Meanwhile, they also crave for some ‘me time’ and want to have a life that does not revolve around their children. It's already difficult, and then people have to open their big mouths advising them to do all sorts of things, even things that conflict with advice they may have given earlier.
So on and so forth. It never ends. And it is tiresome as hell. All of this causes new moms to make various promises to themselves (as well as to others) about doing or not doing certain things. Needless to say, these promises are almost never kept.
Don’t stress though, no woman should feel alone in this struggle. We’re all the same -far from perfect, but still amazing in our own quirky ways. The following is a compilation of the many promises women make and proceed to break after the baby’s delivery. Tell us in the comments below, dear readers, which ones ya’ll are guilty of!
15 I Will Be The Perfect Mommy
There’s a saying,”Nobody’s perfect.” And for good reason.
We see moms struggling to dress their babies in the best clothes, cook better guacamole, keep their homes the neatest and only feed organic food to their babies. All of this just to match some standard set by society that needs to be met in order to declare a woman the perfect mom. Because the physical and emotional stresses post pregnancy aren’t enough, ya know.
Relax, ladies. The baby ain’t gonna compare his mommy to another. The most kids will do is make an innocently ugly drawing that’s supposed to be their mother. Quit making life more stressful than it already is. Children don’t judge their mothers. For kids, their mothers are the epitome of perfection anyway.
If only mothers would stop judging other mothers, we wouldn’t have been talking about this at all. This promise of being a perfect mom is as unrealistic as it can get.
14 I Will Get More Sleep
Oh, honey. How we wish that were true.
It’s no secret that babies actually notice their mother's schedules and choose to be an inconvenience in the worst possible situations. Don’t believe us? Ask all the mothers in the world! They strategically start crying as soon as their mothers start getting drowsy and refuse to stop till they make sure that no trace of sleepiness remains in their mother's eyes. Evil, right?
This promise is made as a desperate attempt to salvage any amount of self love that is left inside of a new mom. And this is when a whole lot of brainstorming goes into finding the best way to get sleep. Which generally involves getting rid of the baby. For example, mothers send the baby out with an aunt or a friend.
But of course, this actually gives rise to another kind of distress - wondering if the baby will be alright during that time apart. If the baby will get hungry. If the supplies were all packed. So all in all, no sleep either way.
Save the guilt for another day and just don’t even try making this promise work.
13 No Alcohol Till The Baby Is Two
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To clear the air, breastfeeding mothers have been advised against drinking alcohol. Because it reduces the quantity and deteriorates the quality of the milk produced and all that jazz. This causes a lot of young women to swear up and down their lives that they will not as much as touch alcohol till they stop breastfeeding.
But, with a little bit of cleverness, a new mom can get away with drinking alcohol with almost zero consequences. See, the simple thing is – one glass of wine takes around an hour to wear off. The more someone drinks, the more she ought to wait before feeding her child. So drinking after a big feed or after the baby falls asleep is a great idea.
Now obviously the baby’s sleep schedule might not be as convenient as required for this plan to succeed, in which case, we just gotta wait for an opportunity and seize it.
12 I Won't Share A Million Photos Of My Baby
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We get it. After months of carrying the baby around and caring for them after birth, the urge to show them off is real. This is why most women in their late twenties and thirties have their social media feeds flooding with the photos of their friends’ babies. The rest of them are busy uploading pictures of their own sweet bundle of joy.
But the thing that these women ought to know is that uploading an unnecessarily large number of these photos is considered a problem. That’s because certain studies have shown that the need to seek approval in the form of likes and comments from everyone is a lifelong ailment. Women often want to validate their parenting with the approval of others.
Ah, ladies. We’re all only human and it’s okay to feel insufficient sometimes. BUT, take that camera and click photos for the memories, not for public record. Obviously, an occasional baby picture uploaded now and then never hurt anybody. Just don’t make it a habit. And quit making these promises.
11 We Will Plan More Outings/Vacations
Yes, that sounds good. But the excitement is quickly replaced by dread. When women realize that all responsibility regarding packing and preparations are upon them, second thoughts do not take long to surface. The lucky ones have helpful husbands who offer to share some of the load. Some women successfully coax dearest hubby into lending a hand.
But not every situation is this convenient. On one hand, new moms crave to have some family bonding and quality time together, but on the other hand, they're mostly tired all the time and do not want to bear the responsibility of any extra work to add on to their daily bunch of chores.
But women in no way should feel guilty about breaking this promise. We’re only human after all. Also keep in mind that family vacations will not make much sense if mommy ends up being all cranky and snaps at everyone and everything. Plan fewer outings, if that means good health and a better mood for mommy!
10 I Will Take Time Out For Myself
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This one is funny because it never happens. The baby consumes all the time and space a new mother has in her life, thus making any and all attempts at freeing oneself futile. Voluntarily or involuntarily, no woman ever has been able to make time for herself for quite a while after having a baby.
New moms are often seen struggling to keep up with the growing demands of the baby. This is why a lot of them long to let their hair down and for once not be constantly occupied with thoughts of their babies.
Who can be blamed now? Babies are cute, after all. And who can resist feeling love for something that has literally grown inside them. Sadly, a lot of women get used to this and start getting pleasure in the company of their child alone. For others, the Kardashians are a thing of the past, now that they have to keep up with their baby.
But the real question is - why do women even bother making a promise like this? We all know it’s impossible!
9 We Will Trust Our Baby With More People
Now this is a struggle like no other. Just how is one supposed to leave their baby with a complete stranger? Okay, not a stranger, but like a friend of the mother’s is still a stranger for the baby, right?
It is a hard hitting fact that new moms are often very paranoid. They strive to make the world around their kid as baby friendly as possible. Thus, their need to supervise every circumstance that their baby is inby themselves, becomes very, very strong. It is only later and with time that new moms realize that they can’t round every sharp edge and it is important for them to trust others with their kid.
Of course, it is also fueled by their need to let their hair down and relax for a bit. Thus, slowly and gradually, the promise is kept. Don’t sweat it, ladies. Promise or not, it happens sooner or later.
8 I Will Work Out
New moms have a little angel with a halo on her right shoulder, and a little devil with horns and a pointy tail on the left shoulder. The angel saying in its darling little voice, “Ya know, you gotta work out.” And this is reiterated by the sarcastic little devil with a, “LOL as if.”
New moms find themselves embarrassed by the condition of their bodies post pregnancy. From a flabby hanging tummy to joint pains, it's all thoroughly unpleasant. Thus, the need to work out is real. Then again, what about the baby?
As new moms obviously prioritize their kids and indulge themselves more and more into parenting successfully, they realize that it might just supplement all the work out they need. In fact, caring for a baby single handedly by itself should be announced as a competitive sport. Like, who needs to work out when there's a baby in the house?
7 I Won't Obsess Over My Baby
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Honestly ladies, after carrying a baby inside of you for months on end and then taking care of it on a 24/7 routine, a woman earns every right to obsess over it. “Look! This is the little ball of happiness that I am bringing up. Yes, it is very cute. No, ya’ll cannot take it for a stroll.”
All new moms are guilty of obsessing over their babies all the time. Taking hundreds of Instagram photos, constantly talking to friends and family about the baby, obsessing over every little progress that it makes, ya know how it goes.
We get it. We really, really do, but others don’t. This is why many mothers make this painful promise of not always obsessing over their babies. Ironically, most of these women end up breaking it because, well, their baby obviously is an irresistible sweet lump.
6 When My Baby Cries, I Will Remain Calm
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New moms acquire supernatural powers right after the delivery of their babies. Their senses sharpen by tenfold and they are able to detect the slightest signs of distress the baby might be facing (anger, hunger, sleep deprivation etc). And God help those who dare stop a new mom trying to reach her baby in distress, because they won’t hesitate in snap you in half.
All of this, only to later realize that the baby in fact suffered from no major inconvenience and has gone back to sleep. Like babies always do. Aaaaaarghhhhhh!!!
Thus comes the promise – “I will not fall for this trap that my baby sets for me the next time!”
The thing is, babies cry a lot. They cry for a plethora of reasons. Sometimes, they can cry just because their mother hasn’t paid enough attention to them in the last 15 minutes. A baby should not (generally speaking) be the reason why a woman’s blood pressure shoots up. Of course, these little things are something that new mothers learn with time.
And being a new mother (especially for first timers), this promise can be a herculean task at first, but women quickly get adjusted. Basically, women are capable of ANYTHING after pushing a little human out of their lady parts.
5 My Husband And I Will Have Quality Time
Like so many other things that new moms are basically missing out on, spending time with hubby is one that is particularly awful. Seeing them every day and still not being able to dedicate enough time to them is likely to seem weird at first. Of course we understand how stressful handling a baby can be, but that doesn’t stop us from feeling guilty.
So here’s what new mothers can do. Don’t dwell on insecurities regarding their romantic relationship after having a baby, the spark as it is fades away with time. This is one piece of advice every new mom needs and is thankful for at some point of time or another.
As for the promise of spending more time with their better half, it will happen. Later, if not sooner, but it will happen. There will be a day when the baby does not require undivided attention and constant care. Women should avoid beating themselves up about it till it arrives.
4 I Will Not Shop For More Baby Stuff
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For new moms, the urge to buy every possible product for their baby is pretty damn high. Once a woman walks into a store with her baby, even the attendants conveniently assume that all shopping is intended for the baby and escort them to the baby department. Even pregnant women don’t escape this phenomenon.
And of course, any mother at some point in time is bound to feel done with all that cutesy stuff around her. The baby’s constant demands obviously call for some serious expenditure. This is when the dreaded promise is made. *shudders*
When given a choice between a smokin’ hot little black dress for themselves and a super adorable onesie for their baby, most new moms pick the onesie. Why? Because they’re mothers. The seasoned ones however, are brave and experienced enough to buy themselves a dress.
After all, rewarding oneself for the many things we do everyday can go a long way. But the question remains, which mother is our reader – the noob or the pro?
3 I Won't Use My Baby To Avoid Social Interaction
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Hahahahahaha! Even we know that this is one promise that’s impossible to keep. Why even bother?
Babies are literally the best excuses for parents who are not particularly enthusiastic about social interactions, especially with people they simply don’t like. For new moms, giving all their attention to their baby and making no eye contact with anyone whosoever, makes an excellent excuse not to talk to people, it seems. Almost every mother is guilty of using her little one as a pass to forgo talking to people.
And why not? Giving one’s child attention is a perfectly legitimate excuse to get out of practically anything, because babies come first! This promise is made in the hopes of improving one’s social life. This promise is broken because it is just too tedious a job to make friends. Isn’t it, ladies?
New moms use their babies as an excuses all the time. And while it’s okay in a lot of situations, they need to understand there’s a life beyond their babies as well. One that does not involve dirty diapers or sleepless nights.
2 I Will Get A Life
Let us take a moment to observe the truth. A woman’s life gets turned upside down after pregnancy. She completely dedicates herself to taking care of her little one. And then with whatever time left, she tries to fix her emotional and physical stressors.
In moments of distress, when the world seems too big and they just wish they could vanish into thin air because of all the responsibilities upon them, women make a promise.
They promise themselves that they will get a life. A life of their own. A life that has time to pursue a career and hobbies. A life where every small decision doesn’t have to be validated again and again so that it is not an inconvenience for the baby.
But how well has that worked out, ladies? This promise is broken because, well, there’s a baby to take care of. Most mothers (not the Super Moms) find it difficult to balance their personal and social lives. Just putting it out there.
1 My Baby Will Have Limited Screen Time
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This one is for when the baby’s a little more grown up. Ideally, toddlers should be allowed around 15 to 20 minutes of screen time a day. This increases by a couple of hours as the child grows up to be 5 or 6 years old. However, mothers often find it hard to take the phone or the television away. This is because for that short period of time, their children stay out of their faces. It's a huge relief!
Mothers make this promise while thinking about their children and trying to be a good and responsible mommy, but mothers break this promise because after a day filled with mindless babbling and incoherent talks with their toddlers, any relief from is as welcome as ever.
It's okay, ladies. It is totally legit and natural for women to excuse themselves off the little responsibilities that motherhood brings once in awhile. This broken promise isn't harmful only as long as the interaction between mother and child doesn't cease to be regular, so sit back and relax.