Mothers typically consider their children to be the biggest blessing their lives. She accepts the responsibility that comes with taking care of a child and raising him or her to be a respectful young person. A mother knows what her child is thinking just by looking at their posture, facial expressions, and attitude towards her or other people. She is the one who knows how to handle her child when he or she is out of control.
We make it sound like this is something that comes naturally to every birth-giver, but everyone knows it’s not easy being a mother. Dealing with one or more mini versions of oneself is, in almost every case, the most difficult and stressful thing a mother must do. So, snapping every once in awhile is not that big of a deal.
But, what if the situation gets so out of control that it makes a mother say or do things she later regrets? What if being a mother just isn’t for everybody?
Oftentimes when things get out of hand, mothers feel the need to blow some steam off, and what better place to do that than Reddit? Here we will take a look at some confessions from moms who have experienced some of the biggest regrets in life.
15 A Different Fantasy
No matter what, moms just want what’s best for their kids. When they are having a hard time, mothers want to do everything in their power to help them out. In some cases, the dad is not always there and, when he is, he may not always be very nice. That’s when a mom must step in to protect her precious child and keep him or her safe.
This young lady got married way too early, which is not uncommon when a woman is left pregnant in her teens. She later realizes that her husband just did not want children at all. “We struggled, and he was very [aggressive with] the children, even when they were small,” she says. This woman managed to get a divorce some seventeen years later and now experiences waves of sadness whenever she witnesses a father being loving toward his children. “Sometimes I have fantasies where I have taken the children and left. I regret very much that I didn’t,” she confesses.
14 An Informed Decision Was Not Made
Every pregnant mommy imagines the perfect life with the perfect child and that’s usually what they expect before giving birth to their loved one. But sometimes, things end up being so much more complicated than that. Kids can be born with certain handicaps and there might not be anything anyone can do about it. One woman confessed that, if she’d known that her son was going to be disabled, she would have aborted him.
We understand, of course, that raising a child with disabilities is hard. We can’t really blame her for saying what she said and having such feelings. “…if I’d known everything [he] would have to go through and will have to go through, there’s no doubt in my mind that, given the correct information, I would have asked for a termination,” is what this mother shares with the world. Nevertheless, she claims to love her son and that he is an amazing little boy.
13 The Police Were In The Wrong
It’s painful for a parent to watch their kids suffer from being treated unfairly. It’s even more painful when their kids end up physically hurt as well. For a mom with a son who has autism, it’s hard to explain to everyone why patience and tolerance are crucial, not to mention an understanding of the situation. The worst part is when all of this is coming from the people we should trust the most – the police.
A mother claims that she regrets calling the police after her disabled son had gotten lost because they used a taser on him after he refused to talk. “He hasn’t been able to fall asleep in his own bed ever since the incident and he is nervous,” says the enraged mother. Apparently, him refusing to talk had been interpreted as him “not cooperating.” Something like this is easily a traumatic experience for both the young handicapped man and his mom.
12 Taking It Out On Her Daughter
This confession is actually a story told by a daughter whose mother confessed to her that she wishes her children were never born. That must be traumatic to hear from one’s own mom! Well, this 26-year-old seems to be taking it pretty well, having the ability to fully understand where all this is coming from. She says that her mother got married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons.
Now, this young lady, going by the username trashpizzabat, is looking for someone who can help her mom out. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s possible for parents to completely love their children while also regretting having them,” is what this dear daughter is saying. Well, there is no need to feel bitter; someone needs to be the bigger person. Besides, confessing a mistake does not make a person anything less of a mother.
11 Should Not Have Stayed Home
A lot of times, women sacrifice their careers to take care of their children. Being a stay-at-home mom is not something to be ashamed of. A lot of women do it and so many of them are happy to be there witnessing their baby’s growth. But, there are also those who aren’t as happy with the same decision.
A mother on Reddit going by the username lovesavestheday82 says that she does not regret motherhood, but she regrets being a stay-at-home mom. According to her, working moms are much, much happier and do not feel miserable like she does. “I feel like part of me has died,” says this mom, which does not mean she loves her child any less than a working mama. This just shows us that we should do what is best for us no matter what, even if it’s not what’s best for other moms.
10 Regret Keeping It
Back in the day, it was a sin to say “I don’t want a child.” Women were frowned upon for feeling this way because, well, isn’t that what females are for? After so many years of fighting for equality, women have earned the right to make this important decision for themselves. Today we proudly see ladies everywhere who, without any fear, choose to say out loud whether they want or do not want to raise kids.
Sadly, there are women who might feel like they are not meant to be mothers but still feel pressured to have children. A mother on Reddit under the username ViolaViolenta confesses that she regrets not having an abortion. “I am looking forward to when he is 18 and I can wash my hands of being an active parent,” writes this unsatisfied mother. She feels that parenthood drained her of her youth, money, and accomplishments. It might sound selfish, but many women feel the same.
9 Did Not Consent To This
It’s great when people know what they want from life: a university degree, a good job, a flourishing career, a nice house, etc. This list doesn’t necessarily have to include children. A lot of times things don’t go as planned and we can understand that, but it does not mean we’re happy about it. What’s worse is when we end up getting tricked into something we don’t want, which is the case with many of the people posting confessions to Reddit.
We found a woman whose boyfriend tricked her into having a baby after she made it clear that she did not want children. She goes by the username TheOtherWomanSorta and she explains she was left alone to raise a child she did not choose to have. “I do love her, don’t get me wrong. But I’m the exact opposite of anything maternal,” she confesses. It’s hard realizing that there are people who were put in such a position unwillingly and without consent.
8 How Is This My Life?
It’s funny how the universe works sometimes. Certain situations can destroy one’s life forever, no matter how great of a person someone has been. Things go wrong, we know that, but very often one can’t help but feel they’ve been dealt a very, very bad hand. We’re guessing that is how most people feel when they find out their child is not the person they hoped he or she would be.
A young mother on Reddit using the username Thrwawy4askrdt shares her story of parenthood and, like many others, it’s heartbreaking. It turns out that she desperately wanted to have a child, a little person with whom she could connect with. Unfortunately, the whole situation went downhill for her when she found out that her lovely daughter suffers from severe autism, making her extremely violent with her parents. She says she loves her daughter in the sense of being a parent, but at the same time she wishes this wasn’t her life.
7 She's An Obligation
To many, children are a blessing. Getting pregnant without planning to ahead of time is often a welcome surprise for many. But, it does interfere with certain plans for the future and it does cause difficulty in people’s lives, especially when trying to get a degree or grow a career. Not everyone is happy to receive an unwanted or unplanned addition.
We got a confession from a mother on Reddit under the username Donotwantthrowaway who feels like a big part of her life has been taken away after giving birth: “there are days that I look at her and just view her as a human that I have to care for out of obligation,” writes this single mom. She sees herself as a parent who got caught up in the middle of a bad situation. This does not mean she doesn’t love her daughter, but she is still bitter about it.
6 Couldn't Love Him
We hear many people say that in the past they’ve had doubts about having children but, after having one of their own, they changed their mind. It is true that a child can have such an effect on a parent. One can look at other people’s kids and think they’re horrifying or disgusting while feeling nothing but love for their own. This isn’t the case for everybody.
A mommy on Reddit going by the name vyckee is one example of a person who never learned to love children, despite hearing from people that things can change. “He was just another kid I have no feelings for,” says this mom who ended up giving her baby up for adoption. She is glad that he wound up in a nice home with people able to give him the affection he deserves. Sometimes it’s just impossible to change your mind, so it’s best to do the right thing for everybody.
5 Left Us
We would like to share another story about a woman forced into motherhood and then left alone to handle it by herself. There are just too many cases like this and we would like to let people know about them because these stories involve actual lives. This, of course, does not mean that all of these stories end badly. Many turn out just fine, but some have traumatic results for both parent and child.
“I can’t describe the hell of raising someone you can’t work up a bond with…” is what this mother had to say about her child from a failed marriage. According to her, everyone who was close to her (husband, his parents, her parents) was excited for a baby, but not her. This pressure caused her to give birth to that child while changing her ways at the same time. The father then chose to leave her, using the changes his wife went through as an excuse.
4 It Got Bad Real Fast
Many people are familiar with the feeling of being in a relationship with someone who is just not the right person but then still giving that person a chance. Very often these kinds of relationships are pretty harmless and couples part ways - ideally amicably. But sometimes, a person can get way too caught up before realizing their mistake. We’re talking “marriage and kids” sort of caught up, and at that point, it gets a bit harder to pretend that nothing has happened.
A mother of three going by the username Bravelittle0ne has shared her story, about making the wrong choice of life partner, on Reddit. She explains how her husband had a mental illness which resulted in her and her kids being mentally abused. Luckily, she is out of that relationship but is still traumatized by what happened. “I regret the way that I have to parent now,” she writes about being a single mother.
3 Two Year Struggle
After the birth of a child, some mothers experience a mental state called Postpartum Depression (PPD), in which everything seems empty and meaningless. They lose their appetite, they lack energy, they feel worthless, and they may think about hurting themselves. All of this has a negative effect on both the newborn and mom. The sad part is that PPD can last up to two years, sometimes even more.
A mother on Reddit going by the username JKSBL confesses that she regretted having her child for two years. “I had very severe PPD/A that manifested mostly as anger and intrusive thoughts,” she writes. She was diagnosed two years after the birth of her baby girl and she has been doing much better after quitting her birth control and finishing with breastfeeding. We’re glad she got help and was finally able to form a loving bond with her daughter.
2 Couldn't Go Through With It
Now, this is a story that differs a bit from the rest. It’s about a mom of two whose first child was planned. She loves him to death but had serious doubts about her second child, conceived by accident. She says that she did not want to destroy the bond she had with her oldest and that she did not like the second baby’s father. “I completely detached, barely picked him up, and didn’t take care of him unless I absolutely had to…” writes MrsBearasuarus on Reddit.
This mother also confesses that she considered both abortion and adoption, but her family was against it. The main reason she did not want the child is that he reminded her of his father, who she hated. Eventually, after finding the right partner, she learned to love her younger son as much as her older one. This story shows us that feelings can change and people eventually learn to live with the choices they make.
1 Kids Are Selfish
Many people fear that they will never again have a minute to themselves after they become parents. Everything has to be about the child. No more randomly driving somewhere to blow off steam, no more alone time with their partner, no more silence. That is why so many people experience this regret.
A loving mother on Reddit has confessed that having a child ruined any possibility of a future career or any ability to be spontaneous again. “Parenting so far has been relentlessly exhausting,” she says, regretting having her child so early in life. It’s true that raising a child is the hardest thing many people will ever do and it requires huge, unending sacrifices. Not everyone is ready to take such a step forward and some people will never want such a responsibility. And that’s fine! Every woman should feel empowered to make the best decision for herself.