There's a new princess in town and she comes with hope for us who thought that fairy tales were just that. Meghan Markle, the new princess and a darling of many has joined the leagues of Princess Kate and she is making every young woman green with envy. After the royal wedding, we are now in speculation mode counting the months and hoping to hear the news that a new prince or princess of mixed race is about to be born in the Royal Family. With the birth of a new baby, the Royals go out in the market and shop around for a royal nanny.
Their shopping doesn't go to the villages nor do they get referrals from family and friends. Their nannies are not run of the mill caretakers who think they can take care of a child because they had a gig as a babysitter in their teens. A Royal nanny is a professional. She, as is most often the case, unless the Harrys will break this tradition, will be a graduate of the Norland School for Nannies. The Royal nanny has mad skills in self-defense and defensive driving and can hold her own in any swimming competition.
Royal nannies are in a class of their own, probably because of the following 15 things they are forbidden from doing.
15 Wearing Makeup
There is this old joke that falling in love with a woman during the day is easy as there are no ugly women anymore due to the magic that makeup is. Now if that same woman appears before you in the morning, that is when one realizes what magic truly is. The daytime and morning lady are two totally different people.
Historically, the Royals have been known to be quite randy. Seeing a pretty nanny makes their imagination start working. It is probably why the female Royals came up with the no makeup rule. Most princesses and queens are incredibly beautiful, but every woman is inherently jealous, even of her own shadow. These women want no competition. It's enough that one is taking care of their kids and may win the kid's affection, despite all the dos and don’ts outlined, being pretty enough that the men notice you just won't fly. Then there is the fact that makeup has a tendency to run or stain clothes. This is totally unacceptable.
Royal nannies are incredibly well groomed. No stained clothes and not a piece of hair out can be out of place.
Young babies tend to have sensitive skins and if a nanny lifts or hugs one of these little kings then the makeup could cause rashes on the child. All convincing reasons why nannies are forbidden from wearing makeup. The Royal Central describes Maria Borrallo’s appearance during Charlotte’s christening and what stood out was her makeup-free face.
14 Having Social Media Accounts
An addict is a person whose life is controlled by a specific substance. We have a new substance in the world today, which comes in the form of technology. It is so lethal that for those afflicted, one cannot last a minute without logging on to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or WhatsApp, because well, they need to know what the other 10,000 friends are doing or feeling today. Forgetting the phone at home or if the phone breaks, a person feels sick and even appears sick. Now if you want to be a royal nanny, rule number one is no social media accounts.
This is not reserved for the help alone, even the Royals do not have social media accounts and even the new Royal who had some pretty liberal views and whom we loved to follow, had to adhere by this rule and she too deleted her social media accounts. It is a good rule though because if one were to become a Royal nanny and have to spend my days around people, other people in the world would hope to feel like they are breathing the same air as the Royals and she might spend her days taking selfies and posting them online captioned #hanging out with the queen.
13 Listening To The Queen In The Bathroom
Do you remember those high school days when we all had a phobia for using the bathroom? Every girl has this one. We all want to pretend that our bodies do not do what comes to them naturally. According to the Talko, the staff in the Royal Palace are not allowed to hear the peeing of the queen. The penalty for such action is undefined, but the rule does seem a bit weird.
We are not sure whether the staff leaves the wing when the Queen wants to do her business. All we know is that they are not allowed to hear her. This is one of those rules that leave one stranded in the headlights saying ‘Oh damn! I just heard the Queen pee. I am so fired!’ As much as we would like to laugh at this rule and scoff at the Queen for being so modest, the truth is, if we had a choice, we too would not want anyone hearing us do our business. But seeing as most of us live in cardboard boxes, we have no choice than to let others listen in. For the Queen at least, she has a huge palace and can reinforce the bathroom to reduce noise.
12 Bonding With The Children
Babies are adorable. Newborns are especially cute and have a sweet smell that only a heartless person would have a hard time bonding with them. Their chubby cheeks and rounded tiny fingers and toes are the stuff magic is made of. When that little one learns to smile, the adorable toothless smile is enough to melt even the hardest of hearts.
Royal nannies are expected to be with the baby 24/7 and take care of each of his needs, but there is one caveat.
No bonding. Royal nannies are expected to stay aloof, even when the sweet-natured innocent baby gives them a wide toothless grin. It is understandable for every mother to feel a tinge of jealousy, especially if her baby prefers the nannies cuddles instead of hers, but when it comes to the nannies, the jealousy goes a notch higher. While most mothers are happy to get a nanny who likes the child and who bonds well with them as they go about the business of earning a living, the Royals want a nanny who takes care of the children in a formal business-like way.
According to UK News, sometimes the nanny becomes dearer to the Royals than their own mothers but a nanny is not allowed to call the next King ‘pooky,’ neither is the young king allowed to call her angel or confuse her with the real mother. This is probably the most difficult task of being a nanny.
11 Wearing Jewelry
So you have that piece of jewelry that your great grandma brought on the Mayflower and that you promised your great aunt you would never take off? Sorry. You are a Royal nanny now and here the rule is, no jewelry. We appreciate the fact that it has sentimental value and it brings good luck, but no. That piece of treasured glitter has to stay at home. This one we are fully in support of. Young babies are attracted to shiny things and anything that they can put in their mouth.
A young child who sees a shiny dangly earring will pull it off the nanny’s ears and this can bring unwanted accidents. If perchance the child pulls off a beaded necklace, those beads can cause accidents if a person were to trip on them. If the child puts one in his mouth, there is a very real risk that he could choke on the bead, not to mention that jewellery is not clean enough to put in a babies mouth. The Royals may have made this rule and we may frown at it, but just like one shouldn’t wear jewelry in the kitchen, the same applies to jewelry while taking care of a baby. According to Mamamia, a Royal nanny can only wear a pair of stud earrings. Nothing more.
10 Using Disposable Diapers
This one is for the mothers who were there when all there was were cloth diapers. Life was really hard. Cloth diapers mostly come in white. Newborns soil a lot of diapers and their poop doesn’t come in white-friendly colors. Maintaining that cloth diaper in its white crisp color is harder than uprooting a tooth. We all love our kids, but let us face it, the stuff that comes out of these babies sometimes can make even a nun swear. It is hard enough having to clean puke all over, but being expected to use a cloth diaper is akin to cruelty.
The Royals have this rule. No disposable diapers. For them, the cloth diaper works and they have no intention of reinventing the wheel. Only in this case the wheel has been modified and made better, but still, they insist on the old-fashioned cloth diapers. We do commend them though because as we know, disposable diapers are not exactly good for the environment. Theirs may be a small contribution for the good of the environment, but small as it is, it does make a difference so on this one we have to say sorry nannies, this one you have to take for the team.
9 Taking Photos Of The Royals
Paparazzi are always looking for that rare photo of a popular person. That rare photo of a baby royal doing something adorable would fetch a nice bundle and the number of likes a person would get if she takes a selfie with one of the young princesses or prince is out of this world. There are times when a single photo of a newborn baby is worth millions.
After the Princess Diana debacle, the Royals are jittery when it comes to paparazzi and they prefer their private life to remain locked behind closed doors.
Even though this desire is usually futile, they prefer that even if photos of their royal babies are leaked, it is not by the nannies. A nanny is there to work, not take selfies and most definitely not take selfies with the toddlers. I guess that is why there is the no social media rule to ensure that none of the nannies is tempted to sneak a picture and post it online. It must be really hard for the nannies, since as any woman who has had a baby will attest, babies do some amazing things as they grow up and we are all tempted to document their feats.
8 Leaving The Nursery A Mess
So a nanny is hired and the Royal has a baby. This Royal cannot breastfeed the baby because well, she is a princess and her girls have to remain, well Royalty. So the nanny becomes the wet nurse. She is now on call 24/7 and when the baby cries at night she has to feed him. Any mom who has ever breastfed will attest to the fact that breastfeeding is not an easy job. Babies wake up every two to four hours to feed and by the time it’s morning, one is tired and starving. Imagine going through all this day and night and still be expected to keep the nursery in tip-top shape.
There are workers in the palace who clean and arrange the nursery, but they are the same workers who work in other areas of the palace and so sometimes, the nanny is expected to handle the mess as there are frequent inspections throughout the day to see how the nursery is. The nanny is also expected to tutor the children, as well as come up with family outing ideas and when she is through, go back and clean the nursery. This is truly a full-time job.
7 Negotiating Their Salaries
Labor unions are something most organizations are used to. When the cost of living goes up, then it is obvious that the employees will want a review of their salaries so that they can at least meet their needs. The Royal nannies have a salary, food and a roof over their heads. They have no social life, so those expenses we incur shopping or holding dinner parties are not an issue for them. Women are usually into clothes, but if you are a Royal nanny, many are the days you are in uniform.
That is another expense gone. Nannies do not negotiate their salaries and it does seem like these jobs are hotcakes regardless. Motivation is said to be both intrinsic and extrinsic and in the nannies case, their motivation is probably in knowing they work for the future king of England and they can, of course, brag in their old age that they knew the king ‘when..' If a Royal nanny requires a pay rise, it would be a rather awkward conversation between her and the Queen with the Queen looking all royal and poised. This is the stuff that intimidation is made of and only the brave would dare negotiate for a pay rise.
6 Give Their Parenting Opinion
The mantra in the royal nanny profession is, silence is golden. For the Royals, it’s ‘Yes you are the nanny and yes, you take care of the baby but no, I do not care what you think. Follow my rules or follow the highway.' For those of us who like to interject in every conversation and stick our noses where they should not be, then royal nanny is not the profession for us.
The Royals prefer people to stick to their station and keep their eyes averted and half blind. A nanny stays within her limits and follows instructions to the letter, with no deviations.
The Royals have no patience and they do not engage in arguments with the help.
If one feels too strongly about something, they have to swallow hard or take a sip of water because no one is interested and if they were, they would rather hear it coming from other quarters. Giving one's opinion is a recipe for joblessness in the royal nanny profession.
There are nannies who have lost their jobs within seven days of getting them for apparent insubordination and engaging in arguments with their bosses. So for those aspiring to become royal nannies, it would be best to first of all practice indifference for a while, otherwise, the job will be short-lived.
5 Discussing Work Outside Of Work
What makes life interesting is the fact that after a hard day at work we can meet up and gossip about the horrible bosses we have and how we wish we could lock them in a closet and throw away the key. This is how most of us get relief from day to day work stress. A Royal nanny has no social time. She has no time to unwind or catch up with friends. Royal nannies are bound by confidentiality agreements and they cannot speak about the job outside of work.
Every mother will attest to the fact that as children grow and attain all their milestones, each milestone comes with its own challenges. The tiny newborn is actually less work than the toddler who toddles around. The worst part is that the hard work gets even harder when the parents micromanage every duty the nanny carries out such that she has no say in what is to be done concerning the baby, yet she is the one who spends all her time with him. After all this, there is no downtime. The nanny cannot go out for a drink and whine. If the boss was to find out, she would be fired.
4 Skipping Out On Those Midnight Feedings
Royal nannies are expected to reside in the palace, preferably near the babies nursery. A Royal nanny is expected to take care of the baby when he wakes up at night and to soothe him when he requires soothing at those ungodly hours. There are babies who sleep very well at night but some babies require a lot more TLC. If by any chance there is a colicky newborn, then the nanny has her hands full. However, if the baby is a good feeder and loves her sleep then her job is relatively easy.
Because the nanny is attached to a baby and she is expected to cater to all of the babies needs, she cannot go to live outside of the palace. She has to always be on hand, ready to jump in whenever the baby needs her. This is ordinarily the job of the mother, but for this princesses, theirs is to carry the baby for nine months, but the minute the child is born, he is handed over to the nanny.
Some of them have good intentions and try as much as possible to be hands on, but with the demands of their positions, they eventually release the reigns of their motherly duties to the nanny. It is a lifetime commitment and while most nannies at least get a break when they hand over their charges to their mothers at night, for a Royal nanny, you are on call 24/7. The Royals cannot afford to lose their beauty sleep to soothe a child after a bad dream.
3 Having A Social Life
if you are a social animal who likes to go out on weekends and take that drink surrounded by friends then royal nanny is not the job for you. The demands of the nanny job are many and so are the expectations. When one signs up to be a royal nanny, she, by default signs over her social life. The nanny job is a permanent job. One is engaged all of the time. If not nursing the charges, then cleaning their nursery, if not cleaning the nursery it's tutoring them.
If you are out with the kids then you are their bodyguard, their race car driver, and their lifeguard.
The nanny is always on duty, always, there is no middle ground. Social events are where funny are hatched to either abduct kids or sell their photos or even leak a story about the Royals and that is why there is a no social life rule. The Royal nannies are housed and fed in the palace and here they stay for life. The royal parties are quite elaborate and even though the nannies are never invited to those, one can always see and experience some of these parties and I guess that is all the excitement one needs.
2 Taking A Break
After months of attending work without fail, most of us experience burn out and it is usually time to go on vacation. Most employers give their employees leave annually. If you are the Royal nanny, the rules are different. You can’t go on leave. The logic is quite simple really, a Royal nanny is in charge of the future king or queen, this is a baby who requires emotional stability so that he can grow up to be his royal highness. This is a noble calling and he is expected to be a stable king.
No one wants a king with mummy or daddy issues. By that logic then, since the Royals do not have time to raise their kids themselves, something the ‘hands on' Princess Diana was never able to do, they hand over the reigns to the nannies. It is as if they say ‘I am giving you this kid to raise but remember, just like a rented apartment, I can ask for it back in a snap!’ A Royal nanny is a replacement mother and as we all know, mothers do not go on leave. Even when they are unwell, a mother stays put and takes care of her kids.
1 Once A Royal Nanny, Always A Royal Nanny
Every profession has a retirement age. After a time, a person stops being productive and it’s time to move to a sunny place where the climate is warmer and spend the rest of your days playing bingo and doing water aerobics. Even for those specialized professions, a person has the option to leave active duty and become a consultant. If you are a Royal nanny, you are stuck for life. The royals do not reinvent the wheel. They stick with what they know and a Royal nanny who works is gold. A teenage royal nanny could be hired today and she will raise one royal and raise the next generation. In case there is no baby royal to take care of, she will go on retirement, but the minute a new baby is born, chances are she will be called from retirement to come and take care of it.
That is if the Royals really liked her. According to NY Daily News, Jessie Webb, who is now in her sunset years and who was a nanny to Prince William and Prince Harry, is now back as the nanny for Prince William’s children. This is akin to raising her grandchildren and who better to raise a child than his grandmother?