We all have secrets.
Some of us have more deep and darker secrets than others, but we still all have them. Mothers probably have the most secrets of all. I say that simply because it seems that the emotions a mother feels run the gamut. From fear to love to anger to compassion, our feelings change quickly. Emotions have a tendency to produce thoughts of all kinds - including some we'd never share out loud.
On the inside, we are emotional rollercoasters. On the outside, we have to be pillars of all that is motherhood - strong, dependable, love, etc.
Just to keep it from getting too heavy all at once, some of these secrets are harmless.
For instance, we moms don't typically share with our kiddos that we hide M&Ms in the back of the cabinet that we devour once our sweeties go to sleep. We also don't tell them that our lives are harder since they arrived. Of course we don't!
We love our children whether they were a surprise or carefully planned out for years and years. Disclosing the location of our favorite chocolate snack would be like giving away the coordinates for a pot of gold. Also, telling our kids that they are the reason we work ourselves into a state of exhaustion would offer nothing but guilt to them.
We just continue to be mom, tried and true mother. I am going to dish out some secrets that other women have confessed about their own motherhood journey. These confessions have no names and they have never found the ears of the husband's.
Enjoy 15 shameful confessions mom doesn't want her husband to know!
15 Had Baby To Save Marriage
Babies are often used in place of marriage counseling. Sometimes, these little tykes work like bittersweet glue at binding a family together. Sometimes not. In fact, most times they don't. This fact doesn't stop some women from trying this marriage-saving method. I mean, look at Megan Fox (who, coincidentally, is NOT the author of this confession, btw).
"I knew he was cheating on me. I'd known for six months that he'd secretly been meeting with his co-worker. Confronting him meant losing the marriage and the life my children and I had known for so long. So, I kept my mouth shut.
I remembered how happy he was when we had our first son and how close we became as a family. How it got to him having an affair is a story all in itself, but it happened. He had always wanted a daughter, so I took matters into my own hands.
I got him drunk and seduced him. My timing was perfect, because I gave birth to our daughter nine months later. He can't leave me now...not with all that child support."
14 Husband Isn't The Father
This confession might sound like a scenario from a song. Funny thing - it is! Ann Wilson of Heart belted out,"All I wanna do is make love to you. One night of love is all we knew." Apparently, it happens in real life, too.
"My husband and I had been trying to have a baby for three years. We knew that it was a long shot because he had issues with his sperm count. At first, it was fun to have unprotected sex all the time, but after a while it was nothing but a chore for me.
I became bitter towards him and sex became meaningless. I just wanted a family. In fact, I was even annoyed that he got to have as much fun as he did and had nothing to show for it. Awful, I know.
A week after my 30th birthday, I got so angry that he couldn't make this pregnancy happen that I found someone who could. I knew I would be ovulating that weekend, so I told him I had a work thing out of town. I got a hotel room, went clubbing, and had a one-night stand which resulted in pregnancy. I even chose the guy based on how closely he resembled my husband.
"I'll never tell my husband."
13 Resent Baby's Looks
When you're madly in love with someone, having a little baby that looks just like that person you love seems like a fairy tale idea. When the love spirals down the drain or simply gets old, looking into that familiar face might be a little more difficult.
"When I first found out that I was expecting, I kept telling him that I hope our baby looks like you. Honestly, I thought he'd be more 'into' the whole being a dad thing if he had a kid who looked like him.
I guess I forgot to mention that he wasn't 100% on board with us getting pregnant.
When our son was born, he was the spitting image of his dad. As it turns out, being a great dad doesn't happen just because you have a mini-me.
Now, when I look at my son, I feel angry that I do all the parenting and my husband gets all the 'chip off the old shoulder' attention."
12 Hates Intimacy Now
Let's just be real for one little minute here. Sex before kids is one thing, but sex after kids is an entirely different ballgame. There is NOTHING, literally nothing the same between the two. Okay, the actual fundamentals are, but that's about it.
"The first time I had sex with my husband after giving birth felt like having sex with a pine cone. It was awful. I expected it to be awful, but I didn't expect it to keep being awful.
The horrible feeling eventually went away, but I just don't enjoy it anymore. He's a guy, so he's the same as he ever was.
I hate having sex with him. I pretend to orgasm quickly just so that it gets over with. Honestly, I hope he finds some little side piece, so I can just quit pretending altogether. I'm just not into it anymore.
Honestly, I'd rather him help me out a little bit more than do me. He thinks it takes the stress away, but I just turn my feelings off. He can't tell the difference."
11 Bitter About Gender
You wouldn't think that the gender of your baby would make that big of a difference, but it can make or break some relationships. Most fathers want little boys and most moms want little girls, generally speaking. Often, it doesn't work out this way and it's just fine. Sometimes it's a big deal.
"My husband has two sons from a previous marriage, but this baby was my first and probably my last. I thought it was nice that he did special things with his boys that they couldn't exactly do with their mother.
I wanted the same thing for my own child...which is why I wanted a girl so badly.
When we found out we were having a boy, I was a little disappointed, but I was okay with it For the first few years, it was okay. Little boys need their mommy. Now, it's different. Like his other sons, he does things with our son that are only meant for a father-son relationship.
Honestly, I feel left out. I wish my son was a girl. Little boys grow up and need their dads I guess."
10 Only Staying For The Kids
Hundreds of thousands of couples stay together for the kids. While this is no news flash, you might be surprised which of your friends are only together because they have kids together.
"I never thought I'd be one of those women who only stayed in a marriage for the kids. Back when I was younger, I thought this was stupid. My happiness is important after all, right?
Now that I have three children with my husband, I can't imagine leaving. The thing is I would love to leave him. He travels so much and I'm left alone playing both mom and dad. People tell me all the time that he's fooling around with women in different cities.
What can I do, though?
Leaving him just for me to be happy would me creating turmoil and endless heartache for my children. What kind of mom would do that. So, I'm going to stay with my cheating husband until my youngest moves off to college. I will pack my bags that very same day. Until then, I'm so utterly and completely lonely..."
9 Would Rather Be Doing...
We all have unique personalities and characteristics about ourselves that basically brand who we are. This all changes when you have babies, though. If you liked to skydive before you had kids then you probably had to give that up to provide a safe and secure home for your new brood.
"I haven't been dancing in four years. I used to be the girl out on the dance floor that everyone wanted to be like. I'm not into clubbing or hooking up, but I am a dancer. It's just a part of my culture.
I gave up dancing when I got pregnant with my first baby. I thought I'd get back into it and I really want to. My husband doesn't really take me serious, though. He just thinks I like the attention from other men and he gets jealous.
All I want to do is dance and show my kids that there is more to their mother than doing laundry and making cheese toasties."
8 Can't Stand Him
There is nothing easy about being parents with your partner. It takes an insane amount of communication and a level of understanding that even Buddha himself would gasp at. In short, it's a tough job. When all the stars fail to align, a marriage can reach its demise quickly.
"My husband had great traits and wonderful standards when we were dating. I don't know what happened, but I feel like he's changed. I know this sounds crazy, but he's not even the man I married anymore.
I can't stand him. I can't stand the way he treats me and I hate the kind of parent he is to our children. It's like we all owe him something. Doesn't he understand that I work all day, too? I mean, this family life is what we signed up for. It's like he didn't think it would be this hard and sort of wants to 'return' his decision, if that makes any sense."
7 Lied About Breastfeeding
There is absolutely no denying that our body's take a huge hit when we bring children into this world. Being pregnant is difficult. Giving birth is difficult. Raising kids is difficult. Bottom line is that it's ALL difficult. That's why most of us have bags under our eyes and countless physical scars.
"My breasts are my best feature. It's what attracted my husband to me in the first place. I'm afraid that if my boobs every changed that he wouldn't be attracted to me anymore.
When I got pregnant, I read oodles and gobs about how breastfeeding ruins your boobs. I know it was a selfish decision, but I pretended like I couldn't breastfeed, so that my boobs wouldn't be ruined by the baby sucking on them day in and day out.
I literally pretended to try a few times and them told my husband that our baby needed formula. Honestly, breastfeeding wasn't so bad and I could have done it. Everything was working fine. I was just too vain, so I lied about it."
6 Negligent When Dad's Gone
Some parents, moms included, put on a great show when they have to. Most of us want to be good moms, but some only manage to look like good moms, even in front of their spouse. Behind closed doors, it's a different story.
"When my husband is home I try to be mom of the year. When he leaves, I drop the act. Who the heck can be supermom all the dang time? Seriously!
When he leaves for work in the morning, I do what I want when I want to. My son plays by himself in his room. He has mounds of toys and a TV, so what does he need me for?
I try to time it right every day, so we are playing on the floor in the living room or starting dinner or something else that appears domestic when he comes home from work.
This stay at home mom stuff is pretty much my way of not having to go to work. I guess I'm lazy."
5 Mom Lies About Dad To Save Face
Addiction can be the worse thing to battle in the entire world. If you've ever tried to help a friend overcome an addiction then you know. It gets worse when you try to help your husband beat his addiction. To make things even worse, try doing it with young eyes watching like this mom.
"Alcoholism runs in his family. I knew that when I married him, but I thought I could handle it. I thought having kids would change him. That maybe his love for the kids would be stronger than his love for the bottle.
I can't tell you how many times I've lied to my kids about their dad. I've hid his drunkenness from them for nearly eight years. I'm exhausted. I'm not sure how much longer I can do it or how many more believable excuses I can conjure up.
He broke my heart with all the promises to quit that he couldn't keep. He'll break theirs, too. I just want to delay it as long as possible.
The messed up thing is that he actually thinks he's a good dad because the kids say he is. I did that. I cover for him, so they don't see him pee himself or vomit all over the sheets. They just see him sober and as dad. Honestly, I hate him and I love him all at once because of all this."
4 Birth Control Didn't "Malfunction"
There are women who have poke holes in the end of their partner's condom to purposefully get pregnant. I know you've heard those wild stories. The father-to-be typically believes that their birth control simply malfunctioned or they were that 1% (like it says on the side of the box).
"My husband wouldn't have married me if I wouldn't have been carrying his child. I just had this feeling that he was going to drag his feet forever, so I lit a fire under him.
He still believes that we used a faulty condom. I actually took a sewing pin and poked several holes in the condom then put it back in the wrapper. I knew he would pay attention once we were in the middle of having sex.
I got pregnant and he proposed. I got what I wanted. Had I left it up to him, we'd still be dating with no wedding band in site."
3 Doesn't Like The Mom Image
The "mom image" is notorious. There are mom jeans and even mini-vans marketed to "soccer moms." While this image is okay for some, it's definitely not okay for others.
"I hate mini-vans. For that matter, I hate SUVs, too. I've just never been into the 'mom image' thing. It's just not me. I'm not some sort of wild-child, but I do have a style of my own.
Having kids sort of messes with that style, you know? You have to adjust yourself to be mom and be your own person. It's not a bad thing, but I don't like it when people assume I'm into everything other moms are into. My husband does that and it pisses me off. I freaking hate scrapbooking and seriously please don't share your darn recipes with me.
My husband thinks I'm totally into all of that. It's my own fault because I've never actually told him that I'm just not the typically mom. His mom was, so I just let him keep thinking it because I think he'll accuse me of being a bad mom if I'm not what he thinks I am."
2 Misses Being Number One
The spotlight was make for some women. These women are typically "Kim Kardashian-like" in nature and demand to be the center of attention as much as possible. Sometimes when these women have babies, there is a fight for number one.
"I'm not going to lie, I'm a really pretty girl and I try very hard to look as good as I do. I tan and workout. I keep up on all the fashion trends. I dye my hair and fit it perfectly. My makeup budget is probably more than groceries. Like I said, I try very hard.
It really gets to me when people don't notice me like they used to. Most of the time, they just notice my kids. Yeah, I dress my kids cute and they look good, but seriously I'm not a shadow!
My husband doesn't even get it. He likes all the attention the kids get, but it really annoys me. They're kids. Of course they're cute. But how many hot women my age are really out there...not many."
1 Thinks He's A Bad Dad
"I think my boyfriend is a sucky dad. I haven't told him yet and I'm not sure that I will. I just try to do all the caregiving for our child and act like I support all his dumb hobbies.
He's either on his stupid computer playing video games or he's out with the guys bowling or playing bags. Like any of those things will get him or us anywhere in life.
Whatever. If he's away from here then I know our son is taken care of.
I mean, the man has juggled holding the baby and a video game controller all at one time. It's pathetic! I think he's a loser with all these 'dreams' has of becoming high scorer at this or that."