Discipline goes a long way, especially during those early years when it matters the most. Children who do not receive the right amount of discipline tend to react in a few different ways than they should. These types of children are taking the parental authority away from their parents, and their parents are letting them. If the parents are not posing structure for the family or do not show control, parents leave the doors wide open for their kids to take on this role. The problem with children being in control of decisions and what takes place in their household poses a few complications. Parents have the necessary skills, education, and experience that a child does not have.
If parents notice themselves listening and catering to every need and want the child has, that is a noticeable sign that the child has taken control. It's easy to give in to children for many different reasons. One, parents know they really want it and do not want to make them upset. Two, parents do not want to feel humiliated in public. And three, parents are used to giving the child everything they want. What is wrong with this situation? A child who gets everything they want grows up with the same perspective in life and expects their parents to continuously help them out like they are used to.
15 The Parent Gives In To The Child Every Time
Giving in to the child every time is a form of children raising their parents. The more you give, the more they expect. The problem with giving in to them every time is you are teaching them that they do not have to earn what they have. Once they grow up, you will need to continue providing them with the stuff they are used to getting because they will not know how to live differently. Everyone loves their children and seeing them upset at the store because they are told they can't have something is hard. It is not only hard on the child, but on the parent too. In the long run, turning down unnecessary wants is actually teaching them a lesson for when they get older.
When parents give in to their child every time, this can be perceived as raising a "spoiled" kid. Not only will your child expect everything they see, but at school, they might have a hard time with other kids and act differently towards others because they don't have everything the spoiled kid has. The long and short of it is, award the child when they deserve to be awarded and when you think it is necessary.
14 The Child Calls The Shots At Supper Time
Asking the children what they would like to eat for suppertime is completely normal, but having to cater to their needs EVERY night is not normal. Kids can be picky, and as a parent, you are the deciding factor whether they eat what is in front of them or you cook them something different to meet their wants. In life, kids grow by experimenting and trying new things. This also applies to the table, when the kids are experimenting with new foods it is helping them grow as individuals and expanding their options for when they get older.
Allowing children to eat sugary foods every day is not healthy for them now and will definitely not be healthy for them when they get older. Slowly changing up the children's meals will teach them to try different things. If the children dictate what you as a parent eat for dinner every night, this is a form of the child raising their parent.
13 The Parents' Weekend Is Planned Around The Childs Plans
On occasion this should happen, but not every single weekend. Children are busy creatures and enrolling them in a bunch of activities is a great idea for teaching your children responsibility and letting them experiment with new things. If you are getting run down every weekend from too many children plans and not doing what you want, this can be exhausting and take away that independence you need as a parent.
It's always important to make sure the children are in good hands and taken care of, but at the end of the day, you need to get out and do what makes you happy too!
Hiring a babysitter or phoning a grandparent or friend to look after the children every so often is good for many reasons. One, you need space away from your children just as much as they need space away from their parents. Two, parents need to get some things done that does not revolve around the children and three, every parent needs a night out to let live as an individual.
Factoring plans around the children are important and as a parent, you need to find a happy medium in doing so. Maybe creating a monthly plan will keep you and the kids organized and you can factor in a 'Me" weekend somewhere to catch up on things a parent needs to do.
12 The Child Is Humiliating Their Parents In Public
We have all seen a child humiliate a parent in public and it is not fun for the child nor the parent. Some humiliation is out of the parent's control, but there is another form of humiliation that parents can control.
For a parent who does not want to be humiliated in public, they need to reinforce positive behavior, good communication skills and enforce appropriate consequences.
Staying consistent is key, and good discipline goes a long way. You can usually tell a child who has been disciplined to a child who has not had the appropriate disciplinary actions enforced.
There are many acceptable ways to discipline a child and finding that action that works is important.
11 Bribing The Child To Do Something
Bribing children is not teaching them responsibility; it is teaching them that every time they do something they should be rewarded. Next time the child makes their bed are you going to reward them with a new toy? This can't continuously happen or the child will need to receive something before they do anything. In the end, bribing children works the opposite way a parent thinks it does. The child has a barrel over you because they will not do what they are asked unless they receive something on their end. This comes down to teaching the child about responsibility and how that factors into everyday life.
Bribing the child at the time to stop a temper tantrum may seem like the right thing to do at the time, but this might only progress into a routine of bad behavior.
Kids will do whatever they can at the time to get what they want unless taught otherwise. Not only is bribing your child teaching them to have no respect or responsibility, it is also confirming a sense of entitlement for the child.
10 The Parents Allow The Child To Disrespect Them
As a parent, it is always important to represent what you want your child to be like. Children pick up on habits and what happens around the house really fast. If a parent is being disrespectful to someone else in their house, the child might pick up on this bad behavior and think that it is okay to talk like that or act in that manner. If a parent is allowing their child to disrespect them, how will the parent have self-respect?
If children get away with disrespecting their parents at home, the behavior in public is usually the same.
Children need to be put in their place from time to time when they are being disrespectful. It is not okay for the child to scream at you and call you names, nor is it okay for the child to question everything you are doing. Disrespectful behavior should not be tolerated at home and will not be tolerated at school or the workplace so the child needs to know that they will not get away with bad behavior.
9 Ignores Their Parents When They Do Something Wrong
If the child is ignoring their parents because the parents did something the child didn't like, this shows no respect. This action is representing a spoiled kid and a kid that no one will want to be around. Children need constructive criticism and they need to hear it from time to time. Letting the child get away with plugging their ears when one of their parents is talking to them, shows no respect for the parents. How does a child learn about respect if they are not disciplined for their wrong actions?
This is a prime example of a child raising their parent because the child is in control of what they want to hear and what they don't want to hear.
Parents need to discipline their children for wrongful behavior so that they understand what they did was wrong and will not be accepted. If a child does not listen to their parents do you think they will listen to their teachers and other peers?
8 Demanding Their Parents Do Stuff For Them
There's no doubt that children are demanding and need special assistance every now and then but doing everything your son or daughter asks is not exactly how parenting works.
The more unnecessary actions the parents do for their children, the more entitled the child gets.
Are the parents working late hours and feels bad so they gift their children with stuff that they don't need? That could be a reason why your child is so demanding. A child is only demanding until they learn differently.
Parents these days go above and beyond to make sure their children are completely satisfied to the point where they don't focus on anything else, not even themselves. This has impacted people's jobs, marriages, and even their health. Parents don't need to stress themselves out over small issues, they just need to learn how to say no and be consistent.
7 No Chores
If children have no chores, who do you think is doing everything around the house? If you guessed their parents, you are right. Children who are raised with no responsibilities grow up with the same mind frame. Why do I have to do it or someone else will do it for me... They might get off the hook a couple times, but as they get older no workplace will want to hire a lazy person with no sense of responsibility. Not only that but when they get their own house, their parents will have to come over and clean and make their beds because they have no clue how!
When parents grant their children chores, they are creating a routine for their children and making them feel competent.
Kids also benefit by gaining accomplishment and it helps them feel like they are apart of a team. It also makes sense that children who are given chores become more independent faster.
6 Parents Are With Their Children 24/7
Children and parents both need their independence in order to remain sane. By leaning over the child's shoulders 24/7 this could create attachment issues down the road. It is good to be dependable and to let the child know that they are always there whenever you need them, but monitoring all day every day is exhausting. Children need space to grow and develop on their own. Yes a child will do things they are not supposed to and maybe it could have been prevented if their parents were around, but that's how the child will learn and grow.
Being at the child's disposal every second will create stress for both the parent and the child when the child grows up.
As a parent, they will not know what to do with themselves once the child moves out because they were always there for them and around them 24/7. The child might have attachment issues and not be able to fend for itself because they don't have their parents around them all the time.
5 Takes Over The TV Every Time
If the child's show comes on at a specific time, it's understandable that they will want access to the TV at that time. It's up to the parent whether they want to give the child access to the TV every day at the same time or not. One thing that should not happen is the child lies in front of the TV all day and does nothing productive. Also, the child should not dictate what the whole family watches from day to day. Making sure the child is aware of other peoples wants and opinions are important too!
By taking turns watching shows that interest the whole family, this shows the child that everyone is important and should be treated fairly when it comes to all activities in life.
Children can easily get addicted to TV, so limiting their screen time is important. Kids will have plenty of time to watch TV when they are older and do not have the capabilities of running around and acting like kids.
4 Parents Pick Up After Their Kids Every Time
It's annoying and no parent enjoys picking up after their kids every single time they touch, play with or move something. Start young, and teach the kids how important it is, if you make a mess you have to clean it up. Parents who pick up after their kids are just as much in the wrong as kids who don't pick up after themselves. The child is showing their entitlement and trying to con you into picking up after them because they don't want to do it. This is where responsibility plays a part.
Showing the child that being responsible is important and picking up their stuff is a form of responsibility.
This is where discipline can play a part. If the child does not want to pick up their stuff, the parent could take whatever it was the child was playing with away for a while, in order for the child to learn if they use something, they clean it up or they lose the privilege of using that item.
3 The Children Have Access To Their Parent's Credit Cards
It's one thing giving the child money to buy something or to go see a movie, but giving them access to your credit card is giving them free range. Teaching the child the benefits of having a credit card is important and is a life tool they will need when they grow up, but allowing them access when they are too young might be a disadvantage to you. Kids at a young age do not know the true value of money and how it's earned. Can you imagine giving a kid a credit card who doesn't know the value of money and coming home with thousands of dollars owing? This is the risk you take when supplying a child with a credit card.
Allowing the child to use the credit card could be a valuable lesson to both. Depending on how responsible the child is, the lesson might be beneficial but if the child is not so responsible you could end up paying a lot of money. Each parent has a different way of teaching their children about money management and if you think this way will work, all the best to you!
2 The Child Is Making Their Parents Do Their Homework
Helping the child with their homework is one thing, but taking over and doing it for them is not helping make the child responsible. Furthermore, you are not allowing the child to learn and make mistakes on their own. If the child is having problems doing their homework, sitting down with them and seeing what their issues are and coming to an agreement how they can improve on these issues is more beneficial to both the parent and the kid. You are not the one in school; therefore it is not going to affect you as much as it will affect the kid. Making sure the child understands what he or she is doing is good, but you also need to make sure they use their own mind and hand to write down the answers.
Always correcting your child and providing the right answers will not allow that child to learn and make the mistakes they need to in order to understand what it is that they are doing.
1 The Child Interrupts Their Parents Conversations
Interrupting anyone for that matter is not respectful nor should anyone feel the need to do it, but as a child, this takes a little longer to enforce. Children, when they are young, feel the need to be heard and to be heard right at that exact moment. The child may feel like their need is more important at the time than what you are about to say or what you are currently speaking about. There are times where this may be true, but teaching them to wait till the person has stopped talking, is only showing them to use their manners.
Children are children and we understand that they will not know any better unless they are taught. As a parent, it is your job to teach them all about using their manners and waiting until the person speaking is done talking before you but in! The older the child gets, the harder it is to enforce rules they didn't have to follow before. Start young, and raise a child with respect and good manners. They will go a long way in this world we live in and will not only help out at home but at school and in the workplace too!