Life takes a roller-coaster turn after we turn into parents. It instantly becomes an amazing journey when babies enter into our lives. Our life revolves around our kids and they become the world to us. However, that should not stop our life and its humdrum.
As beautiful as it might be, there are certainly many parents though who feel some degree of regret about having a child. In a way, they feel stuck or as if their life has stagnated. It is very hard to be a parent indeed, and on top of that, a good parent.
We have to compromise on a lot of things and sacrifice ourselves all for the happiness of our children. Let’s take a look at some of the common things that our kids do that make us regret having them. Although, not all of them might apply to all parents, but at some time or the other these moments and occurrences are inevitable.
15 Your Baby Becomes Your Boss
Yes, it’s true! You have to run on your toes 24/7 just like the clock on the wall. During the first two years of your child's life, you do not get any time for yourself. You cannot sleep in peace and you cannot even think of leaving your child alone while he/she sleeps. You have to be around them all day long.
Between the chances of you getting a breather and the drastically reduced loving moments between you and your partner and no weekend off once you have a kid, you might start to come apart at the seams. The floors are always messy, baby things are in every room of the house and that basket of clothes never goes empty on any given day.
You have to live like this every hour of the day. You'll likely have to wait till your kid gets into a preschool to have any quality time to yourself, and that's only if you decide not to add to your brood.
14 Your Baby Is Constantly Contagious
We feel fit before pregnancy because there was some routine, and now you are left with nothing but your kids’ calendar and reminders.
We do not get time for ourselves when our kids are small. That means no time for the gym, no time for eating food properly, and did we mention the no sleep as well. In this state your body is more likely to catch every little thing going around, and you'll most likely catch it from your baby, especially if they're in daycare.
Getting postpartum depression is also common amongst women, and it can be very difficult to overcome this condition. Bones and joint pain keep occurring and you are constantly running to-and-fro like a train. Too bad you couldn't store up on sleep before your little bundle arrived.
13 Vacations Turns into Staycations
Once the kids arrive in our lives, we have to plan our days and schedules according to them. If they are too small, then we cannot carry them to certain places and cities. We have to book a simple picnic by keeping in check or the things, as small as the weather conditions so that it should not be too hot or too cold for the baby.
Even when kids start their school journey then we have to plan our holidays as per their vacation schedule, which might not fit into our work schedule. It becomes hard to plan long holidays for half a month and you also cannot plan back to back trips, as they might prove hard on your kid's health.
So, there is always this lingering feeling that either let them grow more and then plan a holiday, or we should have planned this trip much before kids came into our lives. The latter proves to be a more better opportunity to explore the world for many.
12 It's Hard to Raise Kids
When you raise your own kids and go through the pregnancy process, sometimes you feel overwhelmed. No one showed you how to be a mother or how to properly care for kids so you always have this voice in your head telling you you're doing it all wrong.
As babies grow into toddlers and toddlers grow into children, you're constantly moving to a new level of challenges or phases. Children will test your patience and make you feel like you're not doing the right thing sometimes, they'll make you feel like you don't do enough when you really do more than they realize.
11 Paying for Their Affection
Kids bring in a lot of expenses along with the responsibilities. There's really not much you can do to brace yourself with savings before the baby comes. Your emotional investments will always be more than your cash investments, although having some cash on hand to take care of expenses, which includes the kids health expenses and school necessities.
After having a kid, many parents feel like their investments and savings are not enough for even one little newborn. Newborns and babies are pretty expensive, and once your baby is finally done with diapers, the expenses don't stop there. Sometimes you might feel like a cash cow paying for your child's affections.
Just be aware that the monetary precedent you set now will be harder to break down the road.
10 Your Partner Doesn't Parent
Raising a kid is a big responsibility that both the parents have to take up equally. A distant mother or father is not enough for a kid. Children need both of their parents to understand his or her world and to know what a family looks like. As a mother, it may fall on you to carry the bigger part of raising a kid, but if your partner is not helpful in raising your kids then it becomes increasingly difficult.
When one parent takes on more responsibility than the other it can cause a rift in the parental relationship. If a partner does not understand your side and does not provide a helping hand in raising children, the mother may start to resent her partner and the situation she's in. All the pent up resentment could be a big problem for both the parents and for the kid as well.
9 You're No Longer You
The pressure of society, and your parents might lead you into an emotional decision of having kids, but you shouldn't walk into this decision lightly, as it will bring a plethora of changes in your life. You need to be mentally and physically fit to have kids.
You give so much of your life and time to your kids and your family that one day you won't even remember the woman that you used to be. All traces of your former self have been replaced by the new you who runs to playgroups and worries about gluten in your kids' diet.
Once you realize that you have been missing for years, but no one has put your picture on a milk carton, you might start to feel like a stranger wearing your skin. The realization that you've lost yourself is real and can give any woman pause about what she's doing.
8 Sacrifice Your Career
When kids come into your life, you just cannot think of anything else. The cuteness and attachment to your newborn baby might not allow you to be anywhere else than beside your baby.
This causes a professional life to come to a complete standstill, as you have to make many decisions related to your kid. You have to decide your meetings and half days in advance based on the routine of your kid. Losing out on a job because of the kids is a worst decision that one has to make, and mostly women fall under this category because men will work, come what may.
You will end up feeling that home is the only office that you have to manage every day and you certainly miss those days when you were just out with your colleagues and friends winning those corporate prizes and gifts for yourself. There is not much more you can do to console yourself in this case.
7 Secondary Infertility
Losing your baby brings in much of a pain in your life. So, if you have lost your second child during pregnancy, in order to give your first child a sibling then give yourself room to grieve, but know your child is also watching you grieve.
Try to move on from what thought your life would be like and live your life with your wonderful child. Think of those precious moments which both of you have shared while you have been together. This will help to heal the pain and you will find that you can go back to enjoying your life again.
Many mothers keep on trying to have a second child. One should remember that being depressed and numerous miscarriages will end up affecting your health. It also leads to strained relationships between kids and their parents.
6 Intimate Life Is Over
Pregnancy and kids put a full stop on our sexual life if not emergency brakes more often than you thought would happen. Not being able to share our personal moments with our spouse can begin to cause friction.
In addition, when we plan a night out, we immediately feel guilty about leaving our cute little child to go out for those special date nights. For a few years, your life becomes a little boring and predictable as you and your spouse focus on the family rather than on one another. During this time, you have household chores and the odd night out to look forward to.
Kids keeps us so busy that we cannot possibly manage time for physical pleasures, and by the time they sleep, we become so exhausted from our day’s work that we also think that it is better to doze off.
5 Personal Goals/Dreams Go Unfulfilled
Kids are special in every way, and as mothers, we just cannot get enough of them. Try to live every single in the moment with your kids. If you are an adventurer at heart with wild dreams, try to fulfill some of those dreams before planning to have kids.
Go for a bungee jump or climb that mountain, travel and visit beautiful places or enjoy a romantic date by the sea-side. Achieve all those professional goals and enjoy your freedom before your kids come. This way, you might not ever regret having kids and you will live with them happily. Maybe you can even share some of your dreams with them.
4 Split Up After Having Baby
When things fall apart in a relationship, many choose to end their marriage with a divorce. This process is hard enough, but if you're going through it before your baby's first birthday, you may feel like everything was a big mistake because your baby will never know his parents in a familial setting.
A kid goes through a lot of emotional stages and some find it hard to cope with the fact that their parents are living separate lives. As long as the children know that they are loved and can feel that their parents at least have a sort of respect for each other, things shouldn't be too hard on them.
Kids whose parents hate each other and aren't shy about it can cause a lot of damage to their children's psyche. Always try to get along with your ex to the best of your ability for your child's sake, especially when they're watching.
3 Always Feel Broke
After having kids, there is no easy way to save money. You might try and keep a little tucked away, but you'll know that sooner or later you'll need that little bit of savings to pay for something unexpected. You might not even have any idea on how much money is going out. Money flows like water, and without any control on the spending, you're pay and your spouses pay will never seem like enough.
From diapers to clothes to vaccines, we have to pay for everything without compromising for the sake of our savings for quite some time. Then, after some time a routine comes in and then we get a handle on our savings. Though much can’t be saved at first, a little savings gives you such a good feeling.
2 Your Children Manipulate You
Some unfortunate parents are caught in their child's emotional trap, all the time. These little monsters manipulate your into feeling you cannot leave them at any given time--with anyone! You have to say ‘no’ to social gatherings because you cannot risk angering your kids. You have to walk on egg shells around your kids because they run the house.
If your kids are really in charge and hold you for ransom, you probably wish you could just escape out of a window some days. Don't worry, Supernanny Jo Frost is still looking for families to help. So if you're too timid to take on your child without first hand witnessing an exorcism worthy tantrum, try giving her a call.
1 Buyers Remorse
It’s true that kids change your life completely for both good and bad. The first few years of raising a kid can be very hard, especially when your baby is a colicky or has any type of malady that makes your life and theirs difficult. In a moment of weakness and tiredness it's not uncommon to wish to go back to a time before kids, just for the briefest tiniest moment.
But it won't be long before you begin to experience the beautiful feelings that come along with motherhood, a life that your kids give you with their little wonders and all that they do in their daily life. You can't look at having a child as a good or bad decision, black or white, it totally depends upon what kind of parent you have become. Put the best of you into your children and you will see something awe-inspiring in return.