By now, many have heard the term “Crunchy” in relation to a specific parenting style, and even more so in references to Mom’s specifically. There are all kind of assumptions and stereo types that go with the label.
According to the Urban Dictionary, Crunchy Moms are neo-hippies, a group of people who for varying reasons choose to take a parenting path that differs from the mainstream. These women are commonly thought of as modern day hippies because of their goals towards natural living principles.
Often times these gals are in support of breastfeeding, non-invasive birthing, cloth diapering, attachment parenting, and organic and vegetarian or vegan living. They are also sometimes known to be anti vaccinations and anti public schooling. Instead they believe in natural immunity and might practice some sort of home school education method. Some grow their own gardens, sew their own clothes, and make their own cleaning supplies, too.
To some of us, these Mom looks like that have got it ALL together. The perfect parent with the perfect plan. In comparison we can feel intimidated and invalidated. It doesn’t make sense to us just how they can pull off all of it off so successfully. When it comes to this, we have to realize that Crunchy is just another label. Most of these Moms are not trying to tick off every box on the influx of articles, quizzes, and competitions to try to be the“ The Most Crunchy of All”. They are just regular Moms, doing whatever it is that they feel is best for their families. They are not impossibly perfect parents providing a glitch free environment for their kiddos.
Don’t believe us? Keep reading below for the most incredible confessions from women who call themselves Crunchy Moms.
It might sound like a far cry to think that those who eat vegan, organic, all natural diets would ever step foot inside a takeout line. But, apparently it does happen! These Moms all confided that they eat convenience foods, and even give it to their kids, too!
“I'm a crunchy mom but my kids beg to eat at McDonalds once in a while. I cave in since you have to live a little.” -Stephania Ahern
“I’m a crunchy mom but I’m addicted to Dominos (Pizza) But, we don't eat at other fast foods.” -Tana Colon
“I'm a crunchy mom, but I order take out at least once a week including Chinese! -Stacy Ruskuski
“I’m a Crunchy Mom... BUT I love to eat QUICKTRIP pizza.” -Alana Whitmarsh
“I'm a crunchy mom but I'll eat an entire frozen Jack's pizza by myself…” -Carrie Preston
Cloth diapers are a TON of work, with all kinds of disclaimers for optimum wear-ability; it’s no question that hand washing soiled bum huggers is a giant chore. Not to mention, hanging them on the line and hoping to have them clean, dry, and ready for the next day for the poop machine baby. These Moms are excused!!
“I’m a crunchy mom but I use “sposies” because fluff literally overwhelms me to even think about. I don’t have a washer or dryer in my apartment complex and I live on the third floor with two kids. Honestly, I just can’t handle another bag of laundry. We love our sposies.” -Jacq Scott
“I'm a crunchy Mom and I'm using Seventh Generation disposable diapers because I can't keep up with laundry.” -Martha Szala
“I'm a crunchy mom, but sometimes I don't want to do laundry and make my baby wear disposable diapers....the Honest brand” -Katherine Henry
~Now that I am tired I used Huggies...I have 2 dozen fireflys and a ton of kiwi pies but I am using disposable b/c I can't even keep our laundry up. - letabug
How in the world is it possible to lug around all the kids and their crap into the crevices of a compact, “responsible” automobile? If it were me, I would forget to plug it in or put the wrong gas in, while trying to keep the siblings from killing each other in the back seat. But, some Moms admit it, at times practicality comes first. Vans, SUVs, Diesels…you name it, Crunchy Moms are guilty of driving it.
“I’m a crunchy Mom and I drive an SUV!” -Martha Szala
“I drive a turbo diesel VW Jetta. I didn't know how bad they are.” -Brittany Calhoun
“I am a crunchy mom in the works. I drive a big Truck, it has lots of room for my growing family.“ -Bobi Murrietta
“We will be getting a minivan before baby is born.” -jorie
So it turns out that all Moms need a glass of wine sometimes, or maybe even a cigarette. Being a Mom is pretty tough stuff and we all need some sort of outlet. Even Crunchy Moms admit that occasionally they give themselves permission to unwind.
"I'm a crunchy mom and I smoke a few cigarettes a day. Please no judging!" -Mary Wilson
"I lie to my kids about what I'm eating so I can have it to myself and spare them the chemicals all while washing it down with a glass of wine." -Carrie Preston
"I'm a crunchy mom but sometimes I give my one year old a bottle with water in the middle of the night instead of breastfeeding so I can drink fireball after bedtime." -Leighann Labrie
“I'm a crunchy mom who is guilty of a history that includes downing cocktails.” -Nicole Formsma
Have you ever came home with your favorite candy, and hid it with your secret stash, just so don’t have to share it with your minis? It’s essential if you want to enjoy anything at all to yourself at some point in the next eighteen years! But, Crunchy Moms don’t just hoard kale chips and granola bars from their kids. They sneak in cheetos and chocolate too, just like me and you!
“I'm a crunchy mom, but I have a (small) bag of flaming hot cheetos hidden in my nightstand” -Francesca Conetta
“I'm a crunchy mom and usually strict on sweets but I ate EVERY price of chocolate my two kids got from trick or treating, then pretended like I had no idea where they went.” -Joelle McMurray
"I'm a crunchy mom but will nurse my toddler just so I don't have to share my CookOut milkshake. "This is your milkie, and this is mine!" -Megan Shanas Smith
We already know that breastfeeding has a million benefits for the baby. But, have you ever considered that there might also be perks for Mommy? It allows you skip on a sink full of baby bottles, it’s convenient in the middle of the night, and you can even use your milk for cooking!! Not only that, but breast milk is free and in perpetual abundance!
“Confession: I don't just breastfeed because it's best for my baby. I also do it because it's free, convenient, and saves me from having to sterilize all those bottles. I've never had to get up in the middle of the night with a crying baby to heat a bottle. I just put my boob in her mouth. Instant gratification. Less crying.” -Sarah Coon Rogers
“I'm a crunchy mom who eats clean, breastfeeds, and is mostly chemical free; I even use breast milk in all my cooking.” -Alana Whitmarsh
“I breastfeed because it is free and the best for baby. Sometimes the way nature intends for things to go is just the best.” -Bobi Murrietta
We’ve all been there before, when we've said far more than we should have. Sometimes it just slips out with a little diarrhea of the mouth. It´s not always meant to be judgmental, and we might even be guilty of preaching what we don’t practice ourselves. Sometimes our candor is just a whoops and we suddenly realize we've said too much.
´”I’m a crunchy Mom and always preach about people/kids eating WAY to much sugar, but I was starving so I ate 6 pieces (small pieces) of cake" -Becky Rollet
“I'm a crunchy mom who is guilty of a history that includes downing cocktails and preceding to bring up things like the benefits of post baby placenta encapsulation and the utilization of milk donors to my non-crunchy, non-mom friends” - Nicole Formsma
“I'm a crunchy mom who secretly delights in making other people uncomfortable with my home birth story, mamma cloth, menstrual cups, nursing without a cover, non-Vax talk, letting my boys pee on trees..... I can't help myself!” -Stephanie Ruzanka-Dale
It would be impossible to imagine a tot that escaped toddler-dom without putting something in his mouth he shouldn’t have! Crunchy or not, kids are still kids. Sometimes we have to bribe them or bide them as we pretend to look away. We let them indulge and explore, and just be kids in old fashioned ways. Sometimes a sucker is a pacifier and the dirt is a neutralizer. For a moment of peace, all of us play by these rules!
“I'm a crunchy mom but I give my 18month old dum dum suckers when we go to the chiropractor so he stays quiet! Haha!” -Amanda Frederick
"I am a crunchy mom, my 15 month old has never eating unnatural sugar, but she's eaten enough dirt to last a lifetime!" -Charissa Fuhr
“I'm a crunchy mom but there are times I reward my kids with sugar! All my friends and family think I'm crazy but I don't care.” -Britney Boyer
Being a Crunchy Mom doesn’t spell out a life of self denial. Even natural things can be satisfying. But, sometimes nothing will do but the perfect “cheat” food. No person is perfect on their nutrition every time. No one is safe from cravings of brownies and ice cream! These Mamas know that it never hurt anyone to splurge a little bit.
“I'm a crunchy mom and I'm addicted to baking...and eating what I bake.” -Kaitlyn Converse
“I'm a crunchy mom but ate a Klondike bar every day towards the end of my pregnancy.” -Devon Ragan
“I'm a crunchy mom who loves maple glazed sour cream doughnuts.” -Stephanie Ruzanka-Dale
“I’m a crunchy Mom and Have a terribly awesome Starbucks coffee addiction...er coffee in general.” -Bobi Murrietta
It´s not always possible or practical to have your baby at home, away from hospitals, doctor’s and nurses. But birthing choices vary and CAN be granted in medical facilities. These Mamas prove that you can have a baby your way in many places away from home. Bravo to these patients who blended the best of both worlds!
“I birthed all 3 kids of mine in a hospital, yay for time to recover & hot meals ;)But, I had my wishes all granted. No vax, bath, & delayed cord clamping.” -Bobi Murrietta
“I am a Crunchy mom and had all my kids in a hospital and didn´t keep my placenta.” -Megan Lamkin Sutton
"I'm a crunchy mom and still have my 3rd babies placenta in my freezer... just because I couldn't let the hospital have it." -Stephanie Ruzanka-Dale
“My baby will be born in a hospital w/ an OB, I am not opposed to epidural, and had one previously. I was also induced a week late and was very please with the outcome, a 5.5 hour labor!" -FreeThinker
“I use a doula for birth even though I birth in hospital.” -jorie
“Sometimes there's a time and place for modern medicine and a HAPPY mom is a good mom. I'm a very crunchy mom." -Joelle McMurray
Sometimes being a Mom isn’t enough to spare you from eating things you don’t want to. An aversion to green stuff can follow you well into adulthood. But, if you are a crunchy Mom, you might have to suck it up. We all know that kids follow our lead and it´s up to us to be the example. These brave Moms set aside their innate vegetable loathing, to convince their kids to eat the very things they never wanted to.
“I'm a crunchy Mom.. but, not a crunchy person. My kids eat bell peppers like apples, but I hate them! I've been known to eat things myself that I won't let my kids have because it's not crunchy enough.” -Laine Common
"I am a Crunchy Mom and I have always encouraged my children and husband to eat all these different vegetables because I know they are good for us. My children don't know I am extremely picky and don't like very many green vegetables because I eat them too and never let on that I hate any of them. Live by example I always say...one day when I am old I will refuse to eat this stuff and they will be shocked!” -Stephanie D. Prukop
Some people think of “hippie” and they take it quite literally. Some crunchy Mommies do take it to the extreme; refusing to cut their hair, shave their legs, and or even use shampoo. But, that certainly isn’t true of everyone. These pretty ladies don’t care if it’s controversial or hypocritical, they keep themselves together and grant themselves permission to get all dolled up with hair products and make up.
“I use MAC makeup and I'm a hairdresser so I slather chemicals all over women's heads for a living!” -Alana Whitmarsh
“I shave my legs and underarms and wear makeup.” -Lousli
“I shave and wear make-up (minimal, just enough to even out my horrible complexion).” -Orange
“I still bleach my hair and on a day where I'm out all day in heat around lots of people I use a slightly less natural deodorant!!” -Britney Boyer
“I wear makeup, shave, and dye my hair.” -Mama2Chloe
Okay, so we all have our little quirks, weird things we do that make our significant others question our sanity. But, mostly they just raise their eyebrows and put up with it. So it seems, even Crunchy Moms go a tiny bit overboard sometimes and their husbands just don’t know what to make of it! All of us have husbands that think we are at least a little bit crazy.
“Sometimes, I hide my organic, non gmo, vegan, gluten free, etc, snacks and food for me and my children and grandchildren, and give the "not so good processed stuff" to my husband. He doesn't care anyway, and thinks my "crunchy" choices are a bit ridiculous. Also, he buys bathroom cleaner with bleach and other harsh chemicals. So, when he is at work, I pour the contents of these down the toilet and refill them with white vinegar and baking soda and fresh organic lemon juice. “ -Celina Chitty Williams
It´s not always true that the crunchy types exclusively practice meatless, vegetarian, or even organic diets. These can be a pretty tall order especially when initially implementing the ideas. Even when these things are desired, they are not always practical or affordable.
But sometimes these Moms and their families simply don´t want to eat that way either. Surprisingly, many crunchy families love meat and may have even reversed their previous stance. For them, anything goes!
“I can't usually afford organic, but try to buy it when possible, and always organic milk.” -Lousli
“I tried being a vegetarian once. turned into a monster. Meat makes me happy. very happy. I rarely buy organic. It's very pricey and limited around here." -wtchyhlr
“I'm no longer a vegan. I will never eat meat again, but this baby likes cheese and ice cream.” -SeniorMemberBoobs
Contrary to popular belief, many of these modern day hippies buy the bulk of their stuff from real live stores. Not just health food and natural product shops. It´s not true they always make all their own products, sew their own clothes, and mix organic cleaning supplies. They may not even have produce gardens at home. While some very well do, others are just like the rest of us. They push the squeaky cart around Walmart to load up on low supplies.
“I don't have a garden I buy produce at the store.” -letabug
“My garden has flowers in it. Not veggies. I go to Safeway for those.” -wtchyhlr
“I am a crunchy Mom and I never seem to make the local farmers market because I can´t get going that early on a Sat. If only they would deliver.” -Megan Lamkin Sutton
“All 3 babies are formula feed because they are lactose intolerant (I tried I really did and I still wish I could breastfeed them).Their lactose free formula comes from Walmart because it's the cheapest place to buy it and when you have 3 on it .. that matters” -oohlalabags