Many moms daydream about the moment their babies will enter the world. They imagine him seeking out mom’s eyes and locking onto her. They picture the baby nursing nonstop and wanting only mom for the first few months. But then reality sets in, and mom can’t handle the constant crying.
Maybe dad or grandma is better able to soothe the baby in the early days. And as much as mom loves her baby, she resents the fact that attachment hasn’t come easily.
For moms who don’t feel immediately locked with their babies, it can take time to develop a relationship. After all, you’ve only just met! Still, that first month can be a struggle. Especially if you’re nursing, you might resent your tot for causing pain or discomfort. If you’re recovering from a gnarly natural birth or a painful C-section, you might feel even more detached from your little one.
In some cases, moms or their babies have significant challenges that make it hard to connect- like postpartum depression or another illness. But for the rest of us, it can just take some time to settle in with the new baby, start bonding, and finally feel like a real mom.