Who doesn’t love babies? Well, the truth is not everyone. Yup, there are some people in the world who do not like babies. I can’t figure it out, and probably no one reading this can figure it out. If nothing, I am a curious person, so I had to figure out what babies could possibly do that pisses so many people off!
Pedophobia is an actual name for people who are afraid of babies. It is a real fear some people have of both bearing children as well as being around babies. While that is interesting, we are here to talk about how babies tend to piss some people off.
Before everyone gets upset with me, and wonders why on earth I would want to write an article about this, just stay with me for a minute. If we listen to one of the theories that has been gaining some traction lately, it states that babies are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. They are not just little, mindless versions of mom and dad, but they are actually little genius’ who do things on purpose! If we look at all of these reasons with that theory in mind, we may begin to understand it just a little bit.
Heck, I can admit it, I look at my baby sometimes and wonder why she does things sometimes, things that make me want to shake my head, and I am thinking ‘oh, you are such a little jerk.” Let’s be honest with each other, this is a safe space, sometimes our children do things that annoy the heck out of us. We love them, but they are little monsters sometimes. I have found 15 things babies do that have the potential to completely piss someone off.
15 Don’t Know What They Want
How much sense does this make: baby cries for pacifier, gets in, spits it out, repeat crying! Now, if we go on with the theory in mind that babies know what they are doing, this is a little irritating. It almost makes it look like are actively seeking attention. What can make this even more irritating is that they tend to do it at night, when they need their pacifier to get to sleep. Which can leave an irritated parent going in and out of the bedroom multiple times to retrieve the pacifier. Parents quickly learn though, as we soon stop retrieving things when they are thrown multiple times.
They also never seem to know what they want. I was eating a snack one afternoon, and my baby decided to throw a fit cause she wanted some. So, like the nice mom I am, I gave her some. She then threw a fit because I gave it to her. So, I took it back, and guess what happened? Yup, she threw another fit. It was a tad irritating to say the least.
14 Bath Time Is Clean Time
This one seems like it is one of the most irritating things in the world. You get a nice warm bath ready for your little one, and you are all excited for a clean and wonderful smelling baby. Who doesn’t love that baby smell (well I guess those people that hate babies). After wrestling with them for what seems like hours to get them dressed, you finally get them in the bath. What is the first thing they do? They go to the bathroom. It really does seem like they hold it in until bath time, and then they just let it all go.
If it’s a little pee, you may just finish the bath quickly for the night, and maybe skip the hair wash. But if it is the dreaded number 2, now you have to start all over again. You have to drain the bath and re-fill it with clean, non-contaminated water. Then you look at your baby, and they have that look in their eye like they knew what they were doing and that they will do it again. Little jerk!
13 Can We Just Change Your Diaper!
A diaper change should take about 2 minutes, for an experienced mom. But when you have a baby that will just refuse to sit or lay still it can take about 2 hours. This is one of the things my daughter does that literally make me want to pull my hair out. The moment I lay her down for a diaper change, she decides she wants to roll around and try and escape like I am about to perform some for of torture. I don’t get it, my daughter is 15 months old, we have changed diapers about a million times, she knows the drill.
Changing clothes is no easy task either. When women are pregnant they imagine dressing their little one up in all sorts of beautiful clothes. We quickly realize, that it is more like trying to wrestle a crocodile, so your kid doesn’t end up in that cute outfit from grandma, they end up in a onesie and maybe some pants.
12 If They’re Awake, You’re Awake!
We know that babies are not the best sleepers, we expect it. I think we would all be lying if we said that at some point it didn’t get a little old. We know they aren’t doing this one on purpose, whether it be teething, a regression or a growth spurt, babies will wake up during the night. Buy, boy does it get kind of irritating. It does get a little different as the baby gets older.
They soon will start to test parents, and see if they cry mom and dad will come in. That means that you put them to bed like normal, and they just start wailing and jumping up and down and crying for no reason other than they want you to come in. This is an easy way to push mom and dad’s buttons as they know nothing is wrong, and they stare at the monitor thinking just lay down!
11 Perfect Timing
Timing is key in everything, and no one seems to know the worst possible timing quite like a baby. You got them all dressed, and you have to be at a family event very soon. This is when that little angel baby of yours will decide to throw up AND poop everywhere. She not only does this all over herself, but all over mom and/or dad, so now everyone has to change an start all over again. This is why people who have kids are always late. This drives people without kids nuts, but they just don’t understand.
If you are like me and you hate being late, this bad timing can sometimes be extremely irritating and may even piss someone off just a little bit. It’s OK if mom or dad gets a little pissed off, as long as it is all in their head and never taken out on the baby. I am sure that they aren’t aware of what they are doing, even if the look in their eyes tells you something else!
10 Violent Beasts
Babies are violent little monsters. OK, so they are not monsters, but they are still violent. One of the ways a mom will know that it is time to trim her baby’s fingernails is usually after she has been ripped apart by what can only be described as claws. They are also very primal in nature, they claw and punch and pull their way anywhere, usually climbing up mom or dad.
Let’s also not forget their lovely habit of head butting. This happens once they have control of that little head of theirs, so it is almost like they are doing it on purpose. Who would do something like that? It usually only hurts the person being head-butted. Babies also have no empathy, so when they hurt mom and dad they rub salt in the wound by laughing right in your face. Yup, they don’t care they just laugh at your pain and misery that they caused.
9 Camera Shy Or Just Jerks?
This happens way too often for it just to be a cute coincidence. Baby does something adorable, over and over again, then mom pulls out the camera or video recorder and they stop. It is like they forgot how to do something they were just doing for ten minutes. It doesn’t even matter if you have your phone with you all the time, no matter how long it takes you to pull out that device to record this sweet milestone, they just stop.
Then you have to explain to people that your baby really does know how to blow kisses, or wave hi or even say cookie. People say they believe you, but we wonder if they do. We wonder if they think we are just trying to make our little one seem smarter than they really are. So, at the end of the day, all our little ones are trying to do is make us look stupid. Thanks a lot!
8 Leave Your Clothes On!
Babies are like little escape artists, and it get’s old fast! Babies are always pulling off two pairs of clothing; socks and shoes, and boy is it annoying. You have the perfect outfit on them, equipped with matching socks and shoes, you run to the bathroom before you head out the door only to come back and the shoes and socks are nowhere to be found. Now, not only do you have to find the missing clothes, but you have to wrestle with them (again) to get them back on.
They also like to do this while you are already out, I don’t know how many pairs of shoes are in the backseat of my car, but there is a lot. Don’t get me started with how many she has lost on our many walks. You are out for a friendly little stroll around the block, and you get home and she only has one shoe! I always search for the cheapest pair of shoes for this exact reason, it’s just not worth it.
7 They Don’t Appreciate Anything
That’s right I said it, babies do not appreciate anything. We buy them the best of everything and feed them the most delicious and nutritious food and they don’t appreciate any of it. We know they can’t actually say thank you, but it would be nice to get some credit. What do they do? Well, they immediately dirty the clothes they are wearing, I swear my daughters close stay clean for about 5 seconds before they are messy, and no amount of bibs can save them.
They also have this lovely habit of throwing all that yummy food on the floor. This post may be a bit sarcastic as we know babies don’t know the value of things until much, much later, but it is still a bit aggravating. I don’t think anyone has any idea about how much laundry they will have with a baby, or how often they will have to sweep the floor. These chores are just vastly underestimated.
6 Patience Is A Virtue
They have no patience; they know what they want and they want it yesterday. This is another thing that we know babies don’t have, they are not born with the ability to be patient, it is something that they learn as they grow and develop. That doesn’t seem to stop us from being just a tad annoyed when they can’t seem to wait 1 minute for you to pour their bottle or get them a snack.
See, understand that when I said that babies piss us off, I don’t mean the same kind of pissed off we get when someone cuts in front of us in a line. I am not afraid to say that when my daughter is throwing a tantrum because she can’t wait one second, it kind of ticks me off a little bit. I still love her to death and would do anything for her, but I am constantly trying to teach her to have some patience.
5 You Just Can’t Negotiate
This one goes hand in hand with patience. When your little one is waiting for a couple minutes for you to make their bottle, and you are thinking I need to do this faster, you can’t just explain to them why it takes a minute. Well, I mean you can, but it’s not going to do much good. You just can’t negotiate with them. You also can’t reason with them, which is pretty annoying.
The irony is, most of the waiting that babies tend to do is caused by them. Going back to the diaper changing challenge. The baby hates getting their diaper changed, so they roll and squirm desperate to get away. This makes the diaper change last longer, where if they just laid still, it would take 1 to 2 minutes. Unfortunately, babies lack this ability to think rationally. So, really it is their fault!
4 They Scream ALL THE TIME!
Crying is another ‘side effect’ of having a baby, but we know it is coming. Babies cry, it comes with the territory. We know and expect them to cry, but that doesn’t mean we don’t reach our limit sometimes when the crying just becomes a little too much. Don’t even get me started on the whining. Babies and toddlers love to whine, and it is just as annoying to me as nails on a chalkboard. It can be aggravating.
Lets also not forget that lovely period in development when babies are finding their voices. This is when they scream like banshees for no reason and all the time. They also aren’t picky. They will do it when you are at home trying to catch up on Survivor or when you are at the grocery store. While at first we think this is so cute and adorable, it gets old very quick, and all you want is some peace and quiet.
3 They Fight Sleep
There is little that parents cherish more than a good chunk of sleep. It is something you quickly realize that you took for granted before the baby came along. Have you ever taken a moment and realized how infuriating it is when your baby fights sleep? They are the only one in the house that can sleep whenever they want and how much they want, but they choose not too. The irony ticks me off!
They are tired. You know they are tired, they know their tired and everyone on the block knows they are tired. We know because they are just so cranky! You know all the cues, so you get the bottle ready, put them in their warm pajamas, and as they are literally falling asleep in your arms, you put them down. Nice try, mom! They are wide awake and they refuse to go to sleep. They want to do anything BUT fall asleep! It is really annoying!
2 Repeat, Repeat, Repeat!
OK, babies love repetition, they love to do things over and over. It is how they learn things, but it also becomes a game. Parents all over the world play countless and endless games of peek-a-boo. Babies love this game, because they lack object permanence. That means that if they don’t see something it doesn’t exist to them. So they think that when we cover our faces, our faces are gone!
These endless hours of peek-a-boo can be exhausting and a tad annoying as we are forced to play over and over again. Why are we forced to play? Well, for many reasons. It makes our kid laugh, and we love to hear that sweet sound. Also, because sometimes it is the only thing that will get the baby to stop crying for one second!
1 They Make Us Love Them
Through all of these things, babies make us love them, and man is it irritating! Babies, toddlers and kids, may know that what they are doing is driving us crazy, but all it takes is one little innocent look or smile and we all swoon. It is the most evil trick of all time, and in that sense they really are masterminds. They are much smarter than us adults and are capable of getting away with anything with just a smile and a kiss.
Have any parents out there been in a situation where you really want to be mad, irritated of just generally pissed off at something your baby, toddler or kid has done, but you just can’t? We love them, no matter how much they irritate and annoy us. We may pray for a sooner naptime, but you better bet that we will miss them when they are sleeping. Now, that’s annoying!
Sources: thebump.com, theadventurer.com, diaryofthedad.co.uk