It can not be said enough that childbirth is one of the hardest things a woman will ever have to do in her lifetime. It doesn’t matter if she has a natural birth or a C-section, it is difficult, and it takes a lot of energy and effort. Unfortunately, we all are so proud to boast that it is only hard on the mom-to-be. This makes sense, and it is the most difficult thing for her, but it can also be pretty hard on the dad-to-be as well.

We often forget about the other person in the room, the dad standing there looking terrified and unsure of what to do. He does not particularly enjoy seeing his partner in so much pain and not being able to do anything to help. The truth is that there are a lot of things a dad can do to help make sure that mom has the easiest labour experience she possibly can. Dads are not routinely told what to do and what to expect because most of the focus is all on mom and her efforts.

Throughout the pregnancy, we always tell mom what is coming and what she will need to do, but there are not a lot of childbirth classes for the dad-to-be, and this can leave him feeling helpless. He is not sure what to do, because he definitely does not want to do anything that will make it worse. Your rule of thumb should always be to communicate with mom and let her tell you what to do to help her. If a dad-to-be wants to be super prepared he can read this list which is bound to give him a lot of tips and tricks that he can do to make sure mom is calm, focused and relaxed (well as much as she can be).

15 Pack Your Own Bags!

There is a lot to do to get ready for the arrival of a baby. You must set up the nursery, get all the furniture put together and just get some last-minute shopping done. One other thing you must do is to make sure that the hospital bags are packed. You are likely going to need three bags, one for the baby, one for mom and one for dad. Mom will be busy packing up things for the baby and herself, so it is really up to you to make sure your bags are packed.

Sometimes, there are a lot of things dads can do to make labour easier that don’t actually involve doing anything specifically during the momentous occasion, and our next few entries will discuss this. Taking something off of mom’s already busy plate is a great way to help her stay calm and reduce stress. If you need ideas of what to pack in your bag, the internet is full of really helpful lists.

14 What Mama Wants, Mama Gets!

This may be the most important part of the whole childbirth process. What mama wants, mama gets. As long as it isn’t something that she medically can not do or have, she gets it. If she wants you to sing her a song, then you better sing her a song. If she wants you to rub her feet for four hours, then that is just what you are going to have to do.

This encompasses all that we have talked about so far, but it goes back to showing your support and love for this woman. She is going through one of the hardest things she will ever do, and the least she deserves is to have what she needs when she needs it, no matter how silly it sounds to you. It is also important to make sure that you don’t utter any complaints when she asks you for the 30^th time to scratch her nose for her, or you may need more than that thick skin we talked about earlier.

13 Stay Calm!

We already talked a bit about how mom can get into a panicked state at some point during her childbirth experience. This is to be expected. Childbirth is very hard on her body, and while it happens multiple times a day it can still be dangerous to mom and the baby. This means that it can be quite easy for mom and dad to be on edge during the whole process.

It is important that dad remains calm during this. As understandable as it is to have moments when you want to completely freak out, don’t. At the very least, keep it inside and when all is calm and back to stable, excuse yourself to the washroom and let it out then. If mom sees that you are calm, it will help her relax. If she sees that you are worried as well, it will only make it all worse.

12 Plan The Hospital Route

A lot of women have one big fear when it comes to giving birth: that they won’t make it to the hospital on time. That something will happen, and she will end up on the news because she delivered in the car on the side of the highway. First time moms usually have plenty of time to get to the hospital, as labour can take hours. Second and third time moms notice a drastic decrease in the amount of time in labour. None of this information will help reassure a nervous mom, but there is something you can do.

Plan your route to the hospital. Chances are that you will be the one driving to the hospital, so it is a good idea to have a planned route that you will take. Keep in consideration if there is any construction going on that could cause a delay in traffic. Practice driving to the hospital different ways and at different times of the day. Rush hour traffic is going to impact how long it takes to get to the hospital. If mom needs to get to the hospital during rush hour, it is a good idea to have a back-up plan.

11 Time Those Contractions Yourself

When that first contraction hits, things are about to get real crazy, real fast. It is important to time those contractions, and this is a dad’s job. Mom will immediately have a million things on her mind, and probably won’t be in the best state of mind to time her contractions. Sit with her and keep count of when those contractions are coming and how long they are lasting.

Gone are the days where you must grab a pencil and paper to log them all down. There are countless apps that help time and count contractions. Your best bet is to download this app ahead of time, instead of panicking when the contractions start and having to find the right one. Take the time before to find one that you are comfortable using, and spend some time playing around with it so that you are comfortable.

10 It Is All About Distractions!

While childbirth is exciting, it is also very long. First-time moms can be in labour for hours, even days, and there are bound to be points where things get very boring. If mom has gotten an epidural she is probably not in much pain anymore, which means she is just laying in the bed waiting for this baby to come. When you have an epidural, you can’t just get up and walk around, so it is up to dad to provide some distractions to help pass the time.

If mom did not get the epidural, then she is probably in a lot of pain, and distractions are one of the best ways to keep her mind off the pain. Dad can do a lot of simple things to keep her distracted. He can try to play some word games, tell stories or even pull out a deck of cards and enjoy some card games. Talk to mom-to-be before labour starts and discuss what kind of activities she would think would be best to distract her and then pack them in your bag so that it is one less thing for her to worry about.

9 Be Her Voice

Now, we know that women definitely do have a voice in the labour and delivery ward, but it is probably just grunts and screams. This is all to be expected, but it comes with a downfall. She will not be able to voice her wants and needs as well as she would before. She is not thinking clearly due to the amount of pain and discomfort, so she will need you to be her voice.

Have a clear and long discussion before hand about what your partner wants and needs during childbirth. What is her birth plan? Does she not want visitors at all? These will all be up to you to make sure that what she needs she gets. If she doesn’t want visitors but people keep coming, it will be up to you to clear the room. Yes, this includes your own mom. If she doesn’t have to worry about her wishes not being followed, it will be a lot easier on her.

8 Show All Your Support

Dads, when you are in the room, you are not just there to witness your baby being born, you are there to offer your support. You are her partner, her labour team and her support system and this is the time you are being called into action. It is quite possible that there will be moments during childbirth that your partner will get a little bit panicked. It is an overwhelming time and she needs someone to calm her down and remind her to breathe.

That person is you. It is your job to remain calm and level-headed. You need to be the person to tell mom everything is OK, and to remind her how to breath when the times get rough. You know her best, and you know what will calm her down. When the contractions are getting intense, or it comes time to push you must reassure her that everything is fine and that she is doing a great job.

7 Time To Thicken Up!

Childbirth is messy, and if you don’t have a thick skin now you better work on that for multiple reasons. Women who are in the throes of childbirth do not tend to be so level-headed. The pain and amount of work she is going through is bound to make her a little short tempered. This may (and probably will) cause her to be cross with you at times, and for no reason. If she snaps at you and tells you that you are breathing too loud, then you better quiet that breathing down. Now is also not the time to argue.

You will also probably see a lot of blood and other bodily fluids, and now is not the time to cringe. Remember, mom needs your reassurance that everything is fine. She does not need to look up and see you cringing at what you see. That is not going to reassure her that everything is fine. A good way to prepare yourself is to watch some YouTube videos of childbirth, so there is no initial shock and you have an idea of what to expect.

6 Support The Neck

When it comes time to push, you may feel relieved that the end is in sight and you are about to meet your little baby. Don’t get ahead of yourself here, because pushing that baby out is probably going to be the hardest thing she has ever done. This is when she needs your support in whatever way she asks for it. This is when you are going to keep reassuring her that she is doing a good job and when you motivate her to keep pushing.

You are also going to have to offer some physical support here as well. This will make the job of pushing a little easier. The nurses will be your best friend when it comes to what to do, so listen to what they say. They may ask you to hold her leg up, which helps her bear down. You will also want to support the back of her neck so that she doesn’t strain any muscles in her back when she is pushing. Mom will be sore enough after pushing, we don’t want to add any pulled muscles to her recovery journey.

5 Get Your Camera Ready!

This isn’t something that will make childbirth easier, but it is something important to remember. When that baby is born, make sure that you are there to snap some pictures of that fresh little baby. This is not something that mom will be thinking about in the moment, and the immediate moments after a baby is born is so blurry that she is going to want some pictures to look back on.

A lot of women find themselves asking their husband about what happened when the baby came out. That is because they just can’t remember. After they have had time to settle down and rest, it can all be a big blur. That is one of the reasons why having pictures is such an important thing. Just remember to be respectful of the doctors and nurses in the room and try not to hinder what they were doing. It is also probably a good idea to stay away from pictures between the legs.

4 Cool Washcloths Are A Must!

If I can chime in here a bit about what really helped me during childbirth, I would say that it was a cool washcloth on my forehead. It helped so much I make sure to tell every expectant mom I meet who asks me for some advice. Dad, this is another job for you. All of these little jobs will be up to you to do, to help make mom’s job a lot easier.

Women are prone to sweat when they are in labour, because it is such hard work. When you are already uncomfortable, a sweaty and hot face is the last thing you want or need. Dad can get that washcloth and can either dab the sweat off your face or place it on your forehead to help ease some of the uncomfortableness. If you know mom would rather use a washcloth from home, then make sure you pack one in the hospital bags.

3 Let Mom Rest!

One of the best things you can do during childbirth and immediately after is to understand that mom needs to rest, and to allow that to happen. Childbirth is called labour because it really is hard work. She has already endured the 9-months of pregnancy and now the hours-long journey to get that baby here, so she deserves every chance she can get to rest and relax.

During labour, make sure that there are no unwanted visitors who may be interrupting the mom-to-be’s chance to sleep and rest while she can. She will need all of her energy when it comes time to push that baby out. After the baby is born, the same rules apply. Take over diaper duty and any other tasks you can with the baby while mom gets some much-needed rest. You may have to play the part of bouncer for a bit. If mom isn’t up to receiving guests, then they will have to wait, and it will be your job to excuse them out of the room.

2 Take Charge And Do Your Own Research!

A lot of dads express that when their wives go into labour, that they end up feeling useless. That there is nothing they can do to ease their wife's pain and discomfort. While you may not be able to take her pain away, you can definitely help her by feeling more confident. Remember if dad is calm, mom will be calm. Take charge of the situation, and make sure you do your own research.

Read those baby books and watch videos about childbirth. Yes, even watch some videos of women giving birth. It may no be pretty, but it will help prepare you for what is coming. The reason a lot of dad’s feel overwhelmed is because they have no idea what is coming. They aren’t expecting all the screaming, blood and mess so it sends them into a shocked state and they lose the ability to think rationally about what to do to help mom.

1 The Baby Is Finally Here, You Are Not Done Yet!

So, the baby is born, and dad is thinking that his job is done. It is actually the complete opposite; the hard job has just started. Mom has a lot of recovering to do, especially if she tore or had a C-section, and she is going to need your help more than ever. Take over a lot of the parenting duty, this will help mom and help you bond with the newborn. Mom and baby are pretty bonded after spending 9 months so close to each other, now it is dad’s turn.

Get her what she wants, anything that may help her relax. Listen to the doctor when they are explaining how she will need to recover and what she can do. Then remind mom, because she will probably forget a couple of them. What may be the most important tip is to get your wife a present. It doesn’t have to be something extravagant, but at least get her some flowers or a small token of your love to celebrate and honour what she just went through.

Sources: babycentre.co.uk, parents.com