15 Things Doctors Must Tell Moms (And 5 They Can Keep To Themselves)

When a woman falls pregnant, all she wants to know is that everything is going to be fine. She turns to her trusted girlfriends or family members to ask questions about their experiences. She even turns to the Internet to investigate all the pain, backaches, headaches, mood swings, nausea, and everything else that pregnancy comes with.

The other trusted figure a woman turns to for answers is her doctor. Oh yes. The doctor possibly gets all the raw, unedited questions. Like - why is mom feeling pain in her pelvic area when she's months away from her due date? And is it normal to be suddenly annoyed by her husband’s presence? These and many more real and honest questions make their ways to the doctor as every expecting mother eagerly awaits his response.

But the thing is, the doctor knows about all the new hormones that are currently running through a mom-to-be's system and the last thing he wants to do is to upset or scare mom. So what happens? Well, sometimes she's not told the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Sometimes doctors get a little selective about what they share with an expecting mother. Although we understand the principle of this, we certainly feel that there are some things that we just MUST know. Here’s now a look a look at the 15 things we want nothing but the truth about from our doctors and the 5 they can just keep to themselves.

20 Must Tell Moms: A Birthing Plan Is Not Always Set In Stone


A birthing plan is basically an expecting mother’s wish list for when labor day comes. This plan details who you would like to have in the delivery room with you, what pain meds you are okay being administered on you, and basically everything else that you would like to happen during that experience.

Many expecting mothers love this idea because it somewhat puts them in control of what may come. But here’s the thing – when that day comes, no one knows exactly what’s going to happen. You may not need pain meds, you may react allergically to the pain meds, your partner may get a little panicked and you may decide that it’s best for them to exit the room.

Birthing plans are a great idea to follow if possible but if circumstance change, your doctor may need to make decisions that are in your best interest, regardless of whether or not it was part of your birthing plan.

19 Must Tell Moms: Pain Meds Won't Always Help

Okay, this one sucks, we know. But unfortunately, this one is true ladies. Many women will have this little item clearly stipulated in their birthing plan because they have heard that a certain pain relief medication works better.

Remember that we’re all different and what may have worked for your sister or your best friend is not necessarily going to work for you. It would be therefore great for your doctor to make you well aware of this fact. This is why it’s important to also attend antenatal classes before delivery so that you are educated about other forms of natural pain relief methods such as breathing techniques and gentle stretches that you can do.

18 Must Tell Moms: What Your Birthing Options Really Are

We’re in the 21st century and the great thing about being alive in this day and age are the options that we have available to us. Some hospitals allow for a water birth while others don’t. Some hospital delivery rooms allow for your whole family to be present in the delivery room with you while many others will only allow your partner with you. There are women who also swear by the birthing ball…

Most people think of delivery options as just either natural or c-section but that’s not the case. Doctors need to tell expecting mothers about the many options that are available so you can choose what you feel may work best for you.

17 Must Tell Moms: The Unexpected Effects Of Pain Meds

We touched a little about how pain meds may not work as you expected earlier but we thought it’s important to highlight another point – the effects of the pain meds on you. For instance, many women who want pain relief often opt for an epidural. Mayoclinic highlights that “you could experience an inadequate or failed epidural. You could develop a fever or itchiness or experience postpartum soreness in your back”.

All the other pain relief methods also have their side effects. We certainly don’t want you to think that pain meds aren’t good. Nope, you have the right to choose what you feel will be best for you but it’s important to be made aware of some of the possible side effects.

16 Can Keep To Themselves: "I've Never Seen Anything Like This Before"

Yeah, doctors can most certainly keep this little bit of information to themselves. Don’t get us wrong, we are pro honesty. If our blood pressure, our cholesterol or anything else is not what it should be, then we certainly want to be made aware of this fact so that we can make the right decision for ourselves and unborn babies. The problem is when we are made to think that we are weirdos who have developed something unheard of. So to all the doctors out there who may be reading this article, the words “I have never seen this before” should never be uttered by you.

15 Must Tell Moms: Every Delivery Is Different

This is an important piece of information that every expecting mother, especially a first time mom-to-be, needs to be made aware of. There is so much information online about what to expect in your first, second and third trimester that this information sometimes comes across as if this is how ALL pregnancies should go, but that's not the case.

For instance, not all pregnant women experience nausea. Some women don’t even have labor pains (those lucky beings). There are also women who go their whole pregnancies without really gaining much weight until the last couple of months while other women begin to show very early and gain a whole lot of weight. It is important not to compare pregnancies and just take each day as it comes.

14 Must Tell Moms: When The Baby's Head Is Too Big For Natural Delivery

This point on our list re-iterates our previous point mentioned about how birthing plans are not always set in stone. You may exercise, eat as healthy as you can, do some stretches that promise to help you with the delivery of your baby when the big day comes but sometimes, unfortunately, you’re just not in control.

You will get an idea of how big your baby’s head is during your sonogram appointments but no one can tell whether or not your pelvic area can handle that or not. Sometimes, you get into labor and after hours and hours, it is then decided that a C-Section is necessary because your body just can’t push the baby out.

13 Must Tell Moms: When An Induction Is Necessary

This information may be a little hard to swallow for moms who are trying to go the all-natural route when it comes to their pregnancy and labor. There are many different reasons why an expecting mother may need to be induced a little earlier than expected. Healthline highlights some of the reasons for inducing labor to be “growth problems in baby, lack of amniotic fluid surrounding baby, diabetes, high blood pressure, preeclampsia, uterine infection, and placental separation from the uterus” to name a few. There are also occasions where you go way past your due date. If any of these occur, you may need to be induced and have your baby in a non all-natural way.

12 Must Tell Moms: If You Need Assisted Delivery

Unfortunately, not everything goes according to plan during labor. American Pregnancy explains how an assisted delivery works. “After ensuring that the anesthesia is working, the health care provider will gently apply forceps or a small amount of suction to the baby’s head. As the mother pushes through her next contractions, the health care provider will gently assist the baby’s head through the birth canal”. Assisted births are an extension of what we discussed earlier – how birthing plans aren’t always set in stone. A mother may enter a delivery room prepared to deliver one way, and then after some time, come to realize that she and the baby are having a difficult time.

11 Can Keep To Themselves: If You Have A Little Accident During Labor

Number 11 on our list is a little embarrassing but hey, things happen during labor. You may end up crying, shouting at people, swearing at some of them and yes, you may even have a little “accident” while in the process of trying to push your baby out. How do we suggest doctors and their nursing staff deal with this? A woman in labor, especially for the first time, is already stressed enough by all that is happening to her. The last thing she wants to hear is how she had a little accident. Our advise then? Er, just pretend like everything is okay and focus on helping us get that baby out.

10 Must Tell Moms: DHA Fish Oils Should Be Taken Postpartum

When a woman is pregnant, there’s a lot that her body gets put through. This is why you’ll be put on multivitamins as soon as the doctor confirms that you are with child (although taking a multivitamin is recommend to be taken a few weeks before conception).

Taking a daily omega 3 supplement, which contains EPA and DHA that are found in fish, is recommended by doctors, however, once many women have delivered their bundles of joy, they tend to ditch the omega 3’s.

American Pregnancy highlights how women should continue taking their supplements for a while after delivery and while they are breastfeeding. “After delivery a mother’s level of DHA can remain low as breastfeeding transmits her reserves of DHA to the breast milk for the baby. The need for DHA remains critical for your new baby through two years of age as brain development continues through this time.”

9 Must Tell Moms: Eating Well Will Help Baby And You

Eating healthy is always a good thing, especially when you’re pregnant. Eating a healthy, balanced diet, will help to ensure that not only you but your unborn baby is getting all the essential vitamins and minerals that he or she needs to not only survive, but thrive.

Even though we may know this and have read some books, or even read up on some studies that support the importance of a healthy diet during pregnancy, sometimes, those pregnancy cravings are just going to get to you. Of course, this is probably one to the best times in your life when you can just endulge in all the goodies you desire but we just feel that it’s important for our doctors to touch on this subject so that we are reminded about the benefits of getting back on track with eating good food.

8 Can Keep To Themselves: If Baby's Heart Rate Lowers

Now this one on the list is definitely a big “Can Keep To Themselves”. Which woman, right in the middle of trying to push her baby out, wants to hear that? Er, no one. This news will stress out any mother-to-be. Unfortunately, during labor, there may be quite a number of complications that arise. Sometimes, these complications affect the baby and ultimately, the baby’s heart rate.

Although we did highlight earlier that the doctor should be open about what’s happening during the labor process, the truth is that they can definitely keep this to themselves. Whether it’s deciding to implement an assisted birth or deciding that a C-Section is now necessary, we’re open to the doctor recommending what they feel will work best if there are complications but we definitely don’t want to hear anything about our little one’s heart rate lowering.

7 Must Tell Moms: Walking Really Does Help

You’ve probably been told by your mother, older siblings or aunts about how they benefited from walking during pregnancy. And maybe you told yourself that you too will do it once you’re pregnant...but then nausea and fatigue hit you so hard that the last thing you feel like doing is heading the treadmill or taking a walk around the neighborhood.

As hard as it may be to do ladies, walking is one of the best things to do during pregnancy. Lifecell highlights that “regular walking during pregnancy reduces the risks of miscarriage, birth defects, still birth, gestational diabetes, etc…Although it is slow compared to other exercises, walking is safe and risk-free."

6 Must Tell Moms: If They Need To Pop Your Water

If you’re a first-time mom, this may come as a surprise to you – You water will probably not pop by itself right at the beginning of labor. Nope. All the movies that we grew up watching of women rushing off to the hospital when their water broke are just that – movies.

In real life, a woman’s water usually breaks towards the end of the first stage of labor. Of course, sometimes your water will break a little earlier and this is definitely when you must rush to the hospital but most times, your doctor may just need to pop your water in order to aid the labor process along.

5 Can Keep To Themselves: "Are You Sure You Don't Want A C-Section?"

C-Sections were often the last resort for labor. A long time ago, women used to go to the hospital to have their children naturally, and if complications arise, the doctor would then advise for a C-Section. These days, women who have complications during labor still end up having C-Sections, but there are some women who will at times opt for a C-Section first for different reasons.

This has made the procedure very common. Parents highlights that “nearly one out of three pregnant women deliver via caesarean section”. While we are pro-choice and have no problem with a woman opting for a C-Section or the doctor deciding it’s the safest option, when you’re in the delivering room and trying the natural route, you don’t want to hear your doctor telling asking you if you don't want a C-Section.

4 Must Tell Moms: About Natural Herbs And Teas

We discussed about healthy eating and taking your multivitamins. This is something you would have known about even before falling pregnant. One thing you may not have known about though is all the common herbs and teas that you can drink that are said to help aid the labor process.

Did you know about Evening Primrose Oil? Healthline explains that “according to American Family Physician, evening primrose oil may help the cervix soften and efface (thin out). Other studies suggest that it can help shorten labor duration.” There are plenty of other natural teas and herbs that are available and this would be great to learn about, especially for a mother who would like to take the natural route.

3 Must Tell Moms: You Don't Have To Stay Pushing On Your Back

This is another one that we wish more doctors would tell their expecting mothers. Maybe we’re just used to seeing this position in movies or perhaps it’s a little more comfortable to lie on a bed and push but the truth is, there are multiple ways in which you can give birth.

Some women prefer to squat, another common position is when you are on your hands and knees…you may also prefer to stand and squat down while holding onto a chair in front of you. Like we mentioned earlier – labor is unpredictable and you certainly can never be too sure of what to expect.

Discussing some of these positions with you will help you be aware of the fact that if the lying on your back thing is not working for you, you can get into a more comfortable position during labor.

2 Can Keep To Themselves: If They Had Bad Complications With Another Patient

This is a big no no. Do not tell us that your previous patient had some complications during labor. Do not tell us that you had a difficult time during another labor situation. Do not tell us that the mother and baby have been admitted to hospital because of too much loss of blood during labor or anything else.

This will only make us scared. It will make us question whether or not we can trust our doctor. It will also make us question whether or not we are up for the challenge of labor. Labor can be a very stressful time during the pregnancy process and although we may have our loved ones there, comforting us, we need our doctors to assure us that everything will be alright.

1 Must Tell Moms: You Can Do It

So, it’s the year 2018. There are currently over 7 billion people in the world right now. This should tell you of how literally, billions of women have given birth before you and this should also remind you that if they did it, so can you.

Sometimes during pregnancy and labor, we begin to doubt ourselves. We know we’re women and can do a lot but sometimes the labor pains and the nonstop pushing makes us doubt ourselves. This is, therefore, number 1 on our list because yes, every pregnant woman certainly does want to hear from her doctor that she CAN DO THIS.

References: Mayoclinic, Healthline, American Pregnancy, American Pregnancy - Taking Supplements, Lifecell, Parents, Healthline - Natural Herbs and Teas

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