Any overdue mothers should pay attention to this. For those who've been pregnant for how long now...like 5 years, right? So, these women are due for a good long laugh, because if labor isn't going to entertain them, then reading this might as well.
Eviction day will come, but in the meantime let's just examine this wonderful world of being overdue. By "wonderful" we mean annoying and frustrating, just so that we're on the same page.
Once a woman has gone through all the trimesters, and with each one experienced the coinciding emotions, she's so ready to have that baby. The first trimester was exciting (even with morning sickness). The realization of being a mom filled her every thought. It was the greatest! The second trimester was cute and precious. Her growing bump was the perfect size to dress adorably and those first kicks are amazing to say the least. It is also the greatest!
Now, here comes the third trimester...
Okay, so she's going to be a mom - she's got this handled. Her baby kicks her like a ninja now - yeah, she may pee a little in her pants. Oh, and her body has been stretched to the limit by a big, fat baby who apparently wants to grow old in there.
The most popular search on your Google is no longer, "Cute Newborn Outfit" for an itty-bitty photo session (that was supposed to be yesterday). No, ythe most popular Google search is, "How to induce labor naturally."
We totally understand those overdue moms.
Here are 15 things guaranteed to happen to overdue moms. Enjoy!
15 Get Annoyed At People Asking If Baby Has Arrived
People are not only concerned for your well-being, they are also incredibly nosey. Oh, and they are impatient as well. As friends, family, co-workers, and random strangers ask you about when you plan to give birth, try not to be holding anything with significant weight.
Even a cell phone might do the trick of conking somebody on the head to teach them a lesson. We encourage you to keep violence at bay. Maybe for relief from your frustration you could resort to classy sarcasm. Either time has stood still or you've been pregnant for ages. Either way, people pestering you about D-day is going to annoy you.
Better to just give a short sweet answer and keep everyone off your back and in the loop. You know you've not forgotten to give birth, and their reminders won't speed it along, but they don't quite understand where you're coming from.
14 Consider Castor Oil As A Means To An End
Yum, everyone loves a good gulp of castor oil...said no one ever. When you're overdue, your baby weighs 300 lbs (all on your bladder, no doubt), and you're desperately trying to evict him or her, it's all out on the table.
We know you've gone Google crazy and read story after story about the ways to induce labor - castor oil being one - but just remember how this one works. Castor oil is a stimulant laxative. It actually causes contractions in the bowels, which in turn cause uterine contractions. Really, it only works if your body is already ready to go into labor.
Be ready for diarrhea with this natural labor induction. You may want to keep scrolling down your Google search, though, because this one could get yucky! Always remember to run induction methods by your doctor first as well.
13 Cross Fingers And Toes That Today Is THE Day
Earlier in your pregnancy, you dreamt of cute little babies. You imagined the first moment you'd meet your new son or daughter and how it would feel to hold that new baby for the first time. You pictured dressing your new baby, loving on him or her, and spending precious moments looking into those helpless, little eyes.
Now, you just want that kid out!Seriously, you so desperately want to breath more, pee less, and eat without heartburn. In addition to standing, sitting, laying, walking, etc. comfortably, you are beyond ready.Instead of daydreaming of your sweet moments, you daydream of TODAY being THE day you get to give birth.
You've crossed your fingers and you've crossed your toes. Please, please, please be the day!
12 Get More Uncomfortable Each Waking Moment
It's true that the longer you are with child the more uncomfortable it gets. How could it be any other way? I mean it's not like you have carried this baby for months and months already. It's not like he or she is growing way too big to fit in there. It's not as if your body has been stretched and repositioned to accommodate this baby. So, it shouldn't need to be easier towards the end, right?
Ha! Except that ALL of those things are true. You have been carry this baby F-O-R-E-V-E-R, and he or she is too big, and your body is so over it.
You've gotten to the point where sleeping is impossible because it's so uncomfortable. Walking, standing, sitting all follow suit. It's just all really, really uncomfortable.
11 Eat Labor Inducing Foods
So, your friend at work told you to eat spicy food to induce labor? This is a common myth or wives tale. It's believed that eating spicy food is a catalyst for labor. In all reality, there is no scientific proof to this.
This may be somewhat of a disappointment to you, so here's some good news. There is a food that may help to soften your cervix, which as you know, is a key part in labor progression. Pineapple contains bromelain, which helps to do this.
Black licorice is probably next on your list followed by garlic and an array of tea. Fiber is also good to eat when you're wanting to induce labor. Honestly, you'll just about eat anything to start these stinking contractions. Chinese food is also on the list of labor inducing foods, so may we suggest going out to a nice meal and hopefully nature will take it from there.
10 Calculate And Recalculate Baby's Size
You may have downloaded a pregnancy app on your smart phone. You've been following all of your baby's growth spurts, inner uterine milestones, and size comparisons throughout the entire pregnancy. It's been a really special time for you and you always look forward to that new app notification that your baby is up to something.
Now that you're overdue, the app doesn't say a whole lot of new stuff. Mostly it just reminds you that you are overdue and in waiting mode. So, that's exactly what you do - wait.
Of course, it's impossible to just sit and wait. You are a woman after all, which means you're going to be thinking thoughts up to 100 mph.
Gone are the days where your sweet little baby was the size of a raspberry, though. Now, you're starting to add the numbers together pound by pound, and have come to the conclusion that you're going to give birth to a 25 lbs. baby. Yes, any other scenario just seems silly at this point.
9 Start Looking Up Gestation Periods For Other Species
As you come to the realization that you're going to be pregnant until the end of time, you begin to wonder how challenging everyone else has it. you've already heard all the stories about the longest human pregnancy, which was about a year long.
Now you've moved on to other species. Apparently nothing is more comforting than learning an elephant has a gestation period of 23 months. You begin to suspect that indeed you're giving birth to an elephant.
The sperm whale follows closely behind the elephant with a gestation period of almost 20 months. You're still positive you're going to be pregnant forever, but it felt good to know other creatures suffer for their beloved children, too.
8 Wonder If There Is Something Wrong
Along with the other gazillions of thoughts racing through your head at the current moment, also comes some worry. In all seriousness, it's incredibly common for an overdue mom to worry.
Granted, worry and concern is all part of being pregnant and being a parent, for that matter. When things don't go as we want them to or expect them to, it's troubling. Doubts have a tendency to creep into your mind.
Maybe my body doesn't work properly. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe there's something wrong with my baby. There are so many worries that could haunt you.
Most babies are born between 38 and 42 weeks. Once the 42nd week has passed babies are consider post-term. One in ten babies are post-term. So most likely your little baby is just as perfect as ever and there is no cause for concern. Just hold tight and D-day will come.
7 Walk And Walk And Walk And Walk
In addition to eating spicy foods, licorice, and garlic, walking is known as a very popular labor inducer. Inevitably you've been walking day after day after day. Well, what you're doing is more like waddling or sort of rolling down the sidewalk, but it definitely counts.
Why is walking good for this? Walking is the most upright position you can be in for gravity to works its magic. It allows your baby's head to put pressure on your cervix. Then as you walk, the rhythmic pressure of your baby's head on your cervix stimulates the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that helps to trigger and regulate you contractions.
Even if you haven't seen results yet, exercise like this will still benefit you. So, keep it up mom!
6 Answer "No, We're Not Having Twins" 1000 Times
There are certain questions you are guaranteed to be asked throughout your pregnancy. When are you due? Is it a boy or a girl? How are you feeling? They are all great questions and most likely you won't tire of them too quickly.
As the pregnant progresses the questions will change. Especially if you're carrying big or you are overdue, there will come the notoriously insulting question:
"Are you sure you're not carrying twins?"
Not only have you already explained the number of babies kicking the living daylights out of your insides, but you've taken about all you want to take from rude people.
Of course there is only one baby in there! No, I'm not just a fatty, this kid is about to graduate high school in the womb because he refuses to be born. What's your excuse?
5 Feel Like A Race Against Induction
Once you hit week 42, your baby is considered to be late or post-term. Often, doctors start to get a little antsy and opt for induction at this point. This can freak some expectant moms out.
Most moms want to experience the excitement of their water breaking and getting to call their significant other because they are in labor. It's all very much like the movies to think like this and all very exciting!
Also, most moms have heard the horror stories of pitocin contractions and how much worse they are. Even the risk of C-section runs a little higher with induced, post-term babies. When it all comes down to it, stories are stories. Your pregnancy is unlike any other one, so let your body and your doctor guide you.
4 Get Jealous Of Anyone Laboring Before Her Due Date
Over and over you hear of this mom or that mom having their baby at 39 weeks or 40 weeks or at least before their due date. You're so happy for them that they don't have to go through the longest two overdue weeks in the history of mankind.
In addition to being insanely jealous, you're furious that Mother Nature is such a cruel B. This is so unfair. All the cutesy moms with their little bumps get to have nice little 6.5 lbs babies while you're huge and probably going to give birth to Jabba the Hutt.
These feelings will all fade away once you're holding your precious baby - who, coincidentally, will not be Jabba the Hutt. The overdue weeks are the tough ones, and the feelings run the gamut. The struggle is real.
3 Try "At Home" Means Of Induction
We've already told you about the food you can eat, the delicious castor oil, and walking. Are there any more ways to induce labor? Ah, yes! These are the fun ones. Most likely, you and your partner have tried a few of these as well.
Sexual intercourse is known for inducing labor. Orgasms are great for getting those contractions going. So although you may feel huge and awkward at the moment, this may be just the thing to do to get that baby out of there.
Another thing is stimulate your lady bumps. Breast stimulation has been accused of producing very strong contractions, so watch out here. Bouncing on an exercise ball is another fun one that has been reliable. So many things from which to choose, which one will work for you?
We're guessing you've already crossed them off your list. Been there done that!
2 Start Maternity Leave, Still Expecting
Well, you scheduled your maternity leave around the time you were "supposed" to be having your baby. The only problem is that you're still pregnant. So, now you're using up your maternity leave to waddle around and hope for labor to rescue you.
It stinks, but it's a common occurrence. There are some working moms who work right up to their maternity leave, too. This has to be equally as miserable. One way or the other, your maternity leave is getting off to a rough start
Although it would be nice if things would just go your way, consider this is a precursor of things to come. For some reason, kids just don't do what we want them to do a lot of the time. Maybe this is just training for the future?
1 Convinced That The Baby Is Never Coming
You've officially hit the last emotional stage of overdue-ness. Denial. Walking 500 miles a day didn't convince this kid to come out. Eating spicy food or pineapple didn't do the trick. Not even getting some intimate TLC was enough to start those longed-for contractions.
You're never going to give birth. Your child will attend school inner-uterine. There's no other choice as he or she s just too stubborn to be born. Even your Googling days have come to an end. Now you just sit and sulk while watching Netflix marathons.
Your induction date is set, and that's all there is to it. It's been a long haul and you're exhausted from it all.
Then in the middle of all your sulking, you feel a twinge? Labor? Ah, moms never give up hope. Happy laboring!
Sources: www.whattoexpect.com, www.webmd.com, www.babycenter.com, wwww.mayoclinic.org,