He played an active role in creating the life growing inside. He may feel though, that after his deposit is made, his role is over. All eyes are on the mommy-to-be while he sits on the sidelines, much like the water boy, waiting for his wife to need something.
Most men don’t really know what they should be doing, and rely on their pregnant wives to tell them. They will stand by their partner’s side while strangers come up to rub her belly. They smile politely while conversations start about baby names, nursery themes, and pregnancy symptoms. They will be left out of those conversations, but will receive a death glare if they so much as look like they are not paying attention.
Men worry about everything from their partner’s health and the health of their unborn baby, to how they are going to afford to raise this child. They stress over how your relationship will change after the baby comes, and if they will ever receive your attention again.
Men get that being pregnant is tough. But they want us to know the process is difficult for them too. They try to help as much as they can, but there are times when they wish they could say how they really feel to their pregnant partners. We share 15 things partners would love to say without suffering any repercussions.
15 "Do You Really Need Another Bowl Of Ice Cream?"
Men get that we are pregnant and hungry. But all the time? Our partners wonder what we are growing inside of us that makes us so ravenous. Is it a tiny baby, or an elephant? They see us having seconds or thirds at mealtime, and snacking in between all day long.
Once morning sickness has subsided, and you are well into your second trimester, the baby begins growing more rapidly, causing your body to provide more nourishment. You may think you can eat as much as you want since you are now eating for two, but you need to keep in mind that the second person is much smaller than you. Most moms only require about 350 more calories per day than usual in the second trimester, and about 500 per day more as she nears the end of her pregnancy.
Make sure you are drinking enough water. It’s easy to mistake dehydration for hunger. Choose healthier foods instead of junk foods that won’t keep you very full for long, and eat smaller meals, but more frequently.
14 "Humina Humina"
Most men are visual creatures. Show him a picture of any woman with her breasts showing and he’ll instantly be turned on. When you are pregnant you may view your breasts as too big and too tender. He’ll probably look at them with his mouth watering. He will want to touch and play with them all the time, which might be annoying to you since they are so tender through much of your pregnancy.
Estrogen and progesterone hormones can be to blame for the tenderness and changes happening to your breasts during pregnancy. There is also an increase of blood flow to them, along with fat that’s building up as they gear up to make milk.
Be vocal with your partner on what is okay to touch, and how he should be touching them. Investing in a good bra (avoid underwire if you can) will help give some needed support too.
13 "Why Are You Getting So Huge"
Your husband is noticing your growth, but hopefully he doesn’t feel the need to announce it out loud to you. Most pregnant women are well aware of how big they are becoming. Not only is your stomach stretching, but your hips are growing proportionally to your belly. You may not want to admit it, but your behind is expanding also. As your baby is growing in your uterus, the fat and nutrients you need to make milk gets deposited in other areas of your body. Your butt included.
Your body is inevitably going to change when you are pregnant. You might imagine yourself staying thin and healthy, with only a perfect round belly proving your pregnant. The truth is that your breasts are growing, you are storing more fat, and you might even be retaining water. You may not look like you imagined but your pregnant body is perfect.
12 "What Did You Do All Day?"
Your partner leaves the house as you are asleep in your bed. He comes home and you are laying on the couch. He wants to ask you what the hell you did all day. Did you do anything besides lounge around and watch Netflix? But he has no idea how exhausting it is to grow a child. While most of us would love to do nothing more than sleep all day, especially early in the pregnancy, we usually do much more than our partners realize.
We might be battling morning sickness, and sometimes it takes an extreme effort to not vomit. Believe me, we would much rather be up and about getting things done, than spending the morning trying not to move so we aren't puking non-stop.
We do more than they think. We are doing laundry, washing dishes, cleaning the house, making meals, paying bills, grocery shopping, and the list goes on and on. We may be taking care of other kids, or even holding down our own jobs.
The next time your husband asks you that stupid question, offer to give him a chance to walk in your shoes for a day. We guarantee he’ll change his mind about what he thinksw you accomplish every day.
11 "How Fast Do You Think You’ll Lose The Baby Weight"
Every man has a friend who's wife only gained 10 pounds while pregnant, and had a bikini ready body before even leaving the hospital. Listen men, that is not reality. It took nine months to put this weight on in order to bring your baby into this world. And now, for many more months, we must use our bodies to feed her and take care of her. The least you can do is give us time to work our way back to being as close to pre-pregnancy shape as we can. It may take a lot longer than you expect too. And some of our body parts will never again be like they were, but that can be a good thing too.
We may end up with permanently bigger feet, wider hips, saggier breasts, and a bit of a belly that never goes away no matter how many sit ups we do. But there’s so many other changes too that men should sit up and notice. Like the way we can tell what our baby needs just by the sound of his cry, or how we can instantly pick out our son in a crowded playground with 100 other kids running around.
10 "You Are So Moody"
One minute you are laughing and having fun, and the next you are sobbing uncontrollably. Your mood swings are so great, that sometimes our partners can’t even stand to be around us. And they are left wondering if the take-out they brought home for supper is going to please you or have you plotting their murder.
When pregnant, a lot of what is happening to your body is beyond your control. Blood sugars dip, water is being retained, and hormonal fluctuations can cause your moods to change by the second. Not to mention that the fear and anxiety you are feeling along with the body changes you experience during pregnancy are enough to bring on mood fluctuations for anyone.
Pregnancy is stressful and a little overwhelming, but it is also amazing and joyful. Tell your partner how you are feeling. Sometimes even admitting you don’t know why are you are acting so crazy, and thanking your spouse for supporting you, will go a long way.
9 "We Can Save Money If You Don’t Have The Epidural"
When men have to push a baby out of their smallest opening, then they can choose the type of pain management used. Even though the epidural will likely cost more money than going natural, the choice to have one needs to be left up to the one actually enduring the pain. You should, of course, take what he thinks into consideration and discuss it, but the decision should ultimately be yours.
Epidurals block the pain signals that travel to your brain. Each person handles pain differently and it doesn’t mean one person is any tougher than the next. Only you can decide if the pain you are experiencing warrants an epidural or not.
There are risks and advantages to every procedure. Your partner and you should discuss everything in detail with your provider so you can make an informed decision. Make sure your wishes are well known before you go into labor.
8 "Can’t You Walk a Little Faster?"
Men get tired of slowing down to wait for their pregnant wives to catch up. It may only take them an extra few minutes to reach their destination, but to them it feels like hours. The third trimester waddling you inevitably do might annoy him to no end.
As your belly gets bigger, it messes with your center of gravity. You are shifting your weight to compensate for the added bundle of joy you are carrying in front. In addition to all that, hormones cause your joints to be looser and can make part of the spine a little unstable which causes you to waddle.
As frustrated as your partner may seem with your slower pace, don’t rush yourself. You may fall and injure yourself or your baby. You are carrying his child, so the least he can do is slow down for you. Pregnancy doesn’t last forever.
7 "Will Your Lady Bits Ever Be The Same?"
The condition of your vagina is likely the one thing he might worry about the most. And with reason, we suppose. You are going to be pushing out an entire baby out of it.
So, what really happens to your vagina after birth? As hard as it is to believe, you will stretch enough to accommodate your infants head. During pregnancy, your body has been working hard to release hormones called estrogen and relaxin. These hormones work hard to get your body ready to deliver your child. How much your vagina needs to stretch depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your baby, genetics, how many previous deliveries you’ve had, and how tone your muscles are.
With all of this happening, it’s probably no big surprise that your vagina will never be exactly the same as it was pre-pregnancy. However just as the vagina is able to stretch, it also has the great ability to recoil. And unless you had some major birth trauma, you and your partner will probably never notice the difference. Some couples admit that sex is even better because of the closer bond you now share.
6 "Let’s Have Another Right Away"
After the emotional high of watching your baby enter the world, your partner may be begging you for another ASAP. At that point, you may disagree as you recover from delivery.
Having a baby too soon after the first is risky. A pregnancy within 18 months of giving birth increases the risk of low birth weight for the baby, and preterm delivery. A closely spaced pregnancy might not give you enough time to replenish your depleted supply of nutrients needed to sustain another healthy pregnancy. You are also more likely to experience placental abruption, which is when the placenta peels away from the wall of the uterus either partially or completely.
Big gaps between siblings aren’t really recommended either, as that can also cause health issues. However, experts are unable to tell us what the perfect space between kids is, so your guess is as good as ours.
Choosing when to expand your family is a very personal decision. Discuss it in length with your partner and be sure to acknowledge the potential health risks you might face.
5 "Do We Really Need to Discuss Baby Names…Again?"
Your husband will feel like you’ve discussed every baby name ever created. It seems like each name you love, your husband will hate, and vice versa. Expectant moms like to have the name picked out and everything ready to go well before labor begins. It’s part of the nesting process. Men, on the other hand, will often not see any rush in picking a name out, and will grow bored with the constant discussion on it.
While searching for the perfect name, you both will need to remain grounded. Instead of trying to convince your partner to love your name choice, listen to his reasons on why he doesn’t. If he feels like he is being heard, he may be more willing to compromise on a name, or at least continue the discussion longer than he would normally have. Remember – you are both on the same team so don’t let emotions run high.
4 "Let’s Do It!"
Your partner might have understood your desire not to make love during the first trimester. You were puking every few hours, exhausted, and seemed to be tender everywhere. His patience was probably rewarded during the second trimester, when you may have been insatiable. During this “honeymoon” trimester, you were feeling better and more like your normal self. Plus, without worrying about birth control, you were able to be more spontaneous.
Things are different during the third trimester. You’ve gained quite a bit of weight, your back hurts, you can’t sleep, and there’s a host of other reasons why you don’t want to hit the sheets with your hubby to do more than just sleep.
Even if you don’t feel like having sex, it’s important to keep the fire burning. Find some other ways to create the intimate bond without having intercourse. Find time to talk each day, touch each other, and make an effort to kiss and hug as much as you can.
3 "Pregnancy Is Hard On Me Too"
Men realize that we are going through a lot to bring a healthy baby into the world. What they want everyone else to know is that pregnancy is tough for them too. They just don’t get to complain like we do, because everyone will call them selfish and callous.
From the second you announced you were pregnant, you received the spotlight. Your partner was left in the shadows waiting for the occasional pat on the back. They know once that baby is born, you’ll share that attention with your newborn, but he’ll still be left on the sidelines.
They have to attend childbirth classes and spend hours learning how to rub your back, help you breathe, and support you during labor. They may have to work extra hours to afford all the baby shopping you intend to do. That big screen TV they’ve been planning on will turn into a car seat/stroller combo.
Men believe the list of hardships they face during pregnancy should be acknowledged also.
2 "You Are Keeping Me Up At Night"
During the third trimester, it gets increasingly difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position. The baby is using your bladder as a punching bag, driving you to the bathroom numerous times during the night. Your partner would like you to know that you are keeping him up too.
You are constantly pushing the blankets off both of you. You may be hot, but he is freezing. You go to the bathroom, and either the light wakes him up or you do as you return to bed and toss and turn to find the right spot.
You are up and down all night. You are either looking for a midnight snack, running to the bathroom, or searching for Tums to ease your heartburn. Not to mention the leg cramps that have you screaming, jerking your partner out of a deep sleep to rub the offending muscle for you.
1 "You Deuced When You Pushed!"
They can’t believe what they just saw, but swear you pooped on the table while pushing. He tries not to make eye contact with the nurse as she quietly wipes it away. He is grossed out and unsure if he should mention it to you or not. Hopefully he’s wise, and chooses not to.
You can’t help it! You will be told to push out your baby just like you are having a bowel movement. The muscles used to poop are the same ones used to push out the baby. Plus, the baby is putting pressure on your colon, making the embarrassing bowel movement even more likely.
The fear of this happening is very real for pregnant moms. Their partners may not even realize it’s possible until they witness it happening. The good news is you won’t even know it happened. Unless your partner opens his big mouth.