Guys may not deal with morning sickness, but that doesn't mean that they don't go through big-time changes while their ladies are pregnant. Men do have feelings, too, and pregnancy tends to dredge up a lot of emotions, doubts, and insecurities.
If your guy seems different since you announced that you're expecting, getting the inside scoop on what he's thinking and feeling will help you keep your bond with him strong while you're pregnant and even after your baby is born.
There may be guys who breeze through their partner's pregnancies and never have any bad moments. However, these types of guys are few and far between.
It's pretty common for men to have at least some anxiety about what's happening to the bodies of their partners, as well as what's going to happen to their own lives once they are dads.
If you've been focusing on your own pregnancy symptoms, thoughts and emotions, take a step back and see things from his side. Once you understand how he may be feeling, based on this list of things that guys do tend to worry about while their ladies are pregnant, you'll be ready to soothe his fears and strengthen your relationship.
15 That Your Intimate Lives Will Change
Guys really care about intimacy with their partners and a lot of guys worry that they won’t be able to enjoy satisfying intimate lives while their baby mamas are expecting. If you show him that you’re still happy to please him, you’ll soothe his fears. Of course, you may not particularly feel like pleasing him.
It's really up to you if you want to try and sexy it up, or if you just snack in front of the TV. You're the one who's pregnant and only you know what's best for you right now. If you're not in the mood because you just don't feel good or don't feel as attractive as you did before you got pregnant, try to explain to him that pregnancy is a temporary situation. It will pass and things will return to normal.
Bear in mind that your guy has testosterone running through his body which gives him a great big libido.
14 That He Won’t Be A Good Dad
If you’re expecting a baby with a guy who’s never had a kid before, he may worry a lot about whether or not he’s going to be a good dad. He may fret about whether he’s up to all of the responsibility of being a role model.
Soothe his fears by buying him parenting books and giving him other information that helps him learn baby care and parenting facts before the baby is born. Let him know that you have confidence in his ability to hold the baby, feed the baby, bathe the baby and change diapers.
Sometimes, all we need from others is just a bit of emotional support. We need to know that people believe in us. He may need emotional support from you in order to build his confidence and put his fears aside.
Also, let him know that it takes time to bond with a baby. Some guys bond at the very first second and others need a bit of time, maybe a couple of months. If he commits to spending a lot of time cuddling with and caring for his baby, he'll bond sooner and being a great dad will be simpler.
13 He'll Definitely Worry About Money
Babies are expensive. Estimates in the USA show that a single baby costs $233,610 to raise. That’s a big chunk of change! If you notice him going over your budget or talking a lot about money, see what you can do to put his mind at ease. Maybe you could make money from home if you’re going to stay home with the baby?
He may not even be talking about money. He may just be thinking about it an awful lot. It's up to you to ask questions which help you to figure out what's worrying him while you are pregnant. If you two have tons of money, it's probably something else. However, most couples don't have tons of money. Money is an issue that often destroys relationships. If you suspect that he has money on his mind, you're probably right.
Being a primary breadwinner is a big responsibility and it's tiring. If he's going to be the primary breadwinner when you're home with the baby, you have to empathize with him and all that he will have to do in order to generate enough cash to take care of you and the baby.
Money worries usually happen because there are real money issues that may be causing problems now or will cause a problem down the line. You should open up by talking to him about money and see what he says. Having an honest discussion about what will happen to your finances after the baby is born is important.
12 That The Baby Won’t Be Healthy
It’s really common to have fears that a baby won’t be born “normal” and healthy. Dads-to-be have these fears, just like expecting women do. The odds of having a healthy baby are in his and your favor, so try to remind him that most babies are born perfect.
Not that a baby has to be perfect. Babies are born with various health issues or disorders every single day and they are special, valuable and loved. They are perfect just as they are. There is always the possibility that your baby will have some health issue or "defect" when it is born. It's up to the both of you to be mature enough to accept the possibility that your baby won't be born "normal".
Show him stats to ease his fears. Talk to him about how he'll handle things if the baby does have a health problem or a birth defect or something like that. It's his baby, whether it's has a health issue or special needs or whatever. A baby that does have more needs requires more love and maturity from its parents. Your partner can deliver.
11 That You’ll Lose Your Figure
Sure, this is shallow, but it’s true. A lot of guys are afraid that their partners won’t lose the baby weight after childbirth. In some cases, their partners really don't lose the baby weight.
Men are visual and they want their partners to fit the ideals of beauty that they see in magazines, online and on TV. If you have a cute Scarlet Johansson figure before conceiving and end up with a heavier, curvier body, you are not alone. It's common for a body to change radically after pregnancy.
To motivate yourself to get back to your ideal weight after pregnancy ends (if you want to), remind yourself that he fell in love with you when you looked a certain way. Try to sympathize. Men are brainwashed by films, TV, and their own hormones. They want something nice to look at and your guy may wonder if the days of admiring your hot body are over forever. They don't have to be.
10 That He Won’t Have Free Time
Guys want time to hang with buddies, play poker, go to the gym and watch sports. He may worry that his whole life is going to be about earning money for the baby and taking care of the baby. And actually, a big part of his life may well be earning money for the baby and taking care of the baby! As you can see, a lot of fears that guys have while their partners are pregnant are fairly sensible. There WILL be changes and guys know this. They worry and they prepare themselves.
You may have the same fears. You're not going to have the same amount of free time that you used to have, either.
To deal with this issue, try and think about how the two of you can carve out time for your interests and for being together. You'll need to work on your relationship after the crazy and hectic newborn phase is over. How will you find time for things that give you joy and make you feel good?
Planning things out will help a lot. If he loves to lift weights, make sure that he can still do it sometimes when your baby is born. Give him plenty of time to indulge in his fave hobbies while you're pregnant...and do the same!
9 That His Daddy Issues May Resurface
If a guy has Daddy issues, and many do, he may be afraid that history is going to repeat itself. He may worry that his kid won’t be satisfied with his parenting, the way that he wasn’t satisfied with his bond with his Dad. Mommy issues may also resurface at this time.
Does your partner have problems getting along with his mom or dad? These issues may be on his mind right now. If he seems anxious while you're pregnant, this may be the reason why. Sometimes, the prospect of becoming a parent unleashes a lot of memories and they may be good or bad or both. It's about the circle of life.
Kurt Cobain had difficult relationships with both, his mother and father. These family problems set the stage for a lot of depression later on, as well as a lot of creativity. Every guy is different and those who's struggled with their bonds with their parents may wonder if they're going to have the same problems with their own children.
8 That He Won't Get Enough Sleep
We all love to sleep and to feel rested when we wake up. He may worry that about the lack of sleep that awaits him in the future. It's hard to have fun and joke around when you're unbelievably tired. Most of us are sleep-deprived regularly, even when we don't have children. New parents are probably some of the most tired people in the world!
There will be times when he doesn't get enough sleep because of the newborn. Your best defense against these worries that he has is to give him time to rest now. Let him sleep in whenever he can before the baby comes and try to do the same. Life is going to change soon, but the baby will start sleeping through the night eventually and life will then get back to normal.
Kanye West supposedly hired a nanny and paid her thousands of bucks a night, provided that he wasn't woken up by North West while he was sleeping. If he did get woken up, the night nanny got less money. This probably won't be an option for you, but it does show that guys value their sleep.
7 That He Won't Give You Enough Support
Some guys aren’t super-sensitive and these types of guys tend to miss a lot of emotional cues. Your guy may worry that he’s not tuned in emotionally enough to give you the support that you need while you’re pregnant.
If you have a sensitive partner who routinely notices how you're feeling, even when you don't tell him, you're lucky. If your partner is not as sensitive, you may wonder if he's going to be able to give you emotional support when the baby is born. Every guy has his own personality. The less-sensitive ones are going to need to step up and become more caring and intuitive. Some of them may not be up to the challenge.
It's smart to let your guy know that you have fears about pregnancy, too, and that you're counting on him to be sweet to you while you are pregnant and when the baby is born. Sometimes, guys really need their partners to spell things out. Don't assume that your partner knows exactly how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Tell him so there's no confusion.
When he knows what's going on in your mind, he won't worry as much about missing your emotional cues.
6 That He'll Become A Mini-Van Person
Most guys want to be cool, rather than piloting minivans through their towns and cities. Your guy may dread the idea of trading in the hot sports car in for a mini-van which is loaded with baby gear. He may want to be a father, but may not want to lose his cool, non-Dad image.
Reassure him by letting him know that you don't need to invest in a family wagon right away. As long as you have a good car seat, the baby should be safe in the vehicle that he's driving right now. Down the line, he may go "full soccer Dad" with a practical minivan, but there is no rush. He can make the choice at the right time.
It takes time to ease into the parenting lifestyle. He's got plenty of time to adjust. You're still pregnant, he doesn't need to sell his car and buy a minivan at this very moment. All of that can wait until later. While his lifestyle is going to change when you give birth, every single element of it doesn't have to become different.
5 That He'll Get A 'Dad Bod'
If your guy is into fitness, he may see other dads who have gained a bit of weight due to the pressures of parenting. He may be afraid that he’s going to develop a Dad-bod once the baby is born...or some time afterward.
Sometimes, the "Dad-bod" is just the result of the natural aging process. As men (and women, too) get older, their metabolic rates slow down. They burn calories at a slower rate. This means that they can eat the same amount of calories that they did when they were younger and still gain weight. Sure, it's depressing, but there are ways to avoid weight gain. Cutting down on carbs, exercising regularly and drinking plenty of pure water will help.
If your guy doesn't work out, but he still worries about getting a Dad-bod after the baby is born, try to come up with some physical activities that you can do together, with the baby. Look for a stroller that has off-road wheels. Then, you can all go on the safer hiking trails which are found in so many city parks.
Walking the trails with the baby on a nice sunny day will be good for everyone. Bear in mind that newborns need to stay at home for a while after they are born until they get a little bigger and stronger.
4 That He'll Be Attracted To Other Women
When you’re pregnant, you may not fit his ideal of beauty. Some guys think that pregnant women are beautiful and others don't. Also, when you’re taking care of a newborn, you may not have time to stroke his ego. He may anticipate these problems and worry that he’s going to slip up and get close to another woman who isn’t pregnant or taking care of a baby. For example, pretty co-workers may begin to tempt him, because they aren't dealing with morning sickness and pregnancy weight gain.
A good guy is not going to stray while his lady is pregnant, even if there is a part of him that wants to. A bad guy may stray whether you're pregnant or not. You probably already know which type of guy you have. If you're lucky, you have one of the good ones.
Try to set some rules. He shouldn't be out partying a lot or working late all of the time. Watch out for these red flags. Also, if you notice that he has a bit of a roving eye while you're expecting, let him know that his conduct feels disrespectful. You need to set boundaries so that you can have a happy pregnancy.
3 That Your Personality Will Change
Your guy may be used to having a lot of good times with you and he may be wondering if pregnancy is going to change you on the inside, instead of just on the outside. It probably will change you, but the changes may be good ones. When you become a mom, it's not just about you anymore. Also, it's not just about your partner. You will be responsible for another human being. He will, too. It's an unselfish way of life. It can make you a better person.
It's possible to go out and have fun when there is a baby at home. You just need a support system. With this in mind, think about building a support system while you're pregnant. If you don't have family who will be able to take care of the baby while you go out for a date night with your partner, then look for a reliable babysitter in your neighborhood.
Check references and prices. Find someone that other parents trust. Then, let your partner know that you've found a good sitter, so you will be able to go out with him sometimes. This will help him to understand that you're not going to morph into a completely different person.
2 That You’ll Love The Baby More Than Him
Some men are big babies themselves, so he may worry that he’s going to take second place in the family when the baby is born. For a while, he might take second place. Babies are helpless. They need love and care 24/7. Plus, they are adorable.
It's important to let your partner know that you'll always love him as much as you do now and that you'll love him as much as you love the baby.
Your partner may be used to getting tons of attention from you. He may get babied by you regularly. If you do baby your partner a lot, he's probably addicted to the attention and affection. Reassure him that your heart is big enough for him and your new baby.
There will be plenty of times when you need to put the baby first, but the baby will get bigger and balance will eventually be restored. What's important is getting through pregnancy and the newborn phase together. If he's smart, he'll understand that you have to make the newborn your priority for a while. He'll do the same thing.
1 That He’ll Love The Baby More Than You
He may wonder if his bond with the baby is going to be stronger than his bond with you... and worry about it. Most of us do create powerful bonds with our babies. As soon as we see our babies for the first time, we feel overpowering love and want to protect our sons or daughters. It's a beautiful thing, but it doesn't have to mean loving our partners less.
As his bond with the baby grows, his bond with you should grow, too. Some romantic relationships don't survive new parenthood. Those relationships were on shaky ground anyway. A good relationship will get stronger when there is a baby in the mix. You both made the baby. Sharing parenthood should pull you closer.
Encourage him to bond with the baby whenever he can. It's the best thing for the baby. Also, let him know that you love him and need his love back, even though he's busy with the baby. Honest communication, without judgment, is the key to keeping a relationship strong during pregnancy and beyond.
Sources: Parenting.com, People.com, Dailymail.co.uk