We new moms are a breed of our own. Not only are we totally awesome, but we're usually a little on the crazy side of life. We worry. We cry. We freak out about...anything we feel like freaking out about. It's the nature of being a new mom.
The thing is that it's totally okay. It's sort of what being a new mom is all about. Heck, it's what being a mom is all about! We are the queens of concern and care (aka worry and paranoia). We get paid to do this...oh wait, no we don't. Well, maybe paid in baby kisses.
There are special people who are pros at handling us new moms. Hopefully our family falls in this category. Doctors fall into this category, too. Sometimes you wouldn't think so, but most doctors have this way of connecting with new moms that offers a great deal of assurance and comfort.
They even listen to our crazy and paranoid concerns. Let's face it, new moms freak out a lot. Caring for a newborn is different than anything else you've ever had to to so of course you're freaking out.
Some of the things new moms worry about really drive doctors crazy - not literally, but they can get seriously annoyed with all of your little new mom quirks.
Here are 15 things that new moms do that drive doctors crazy. Which ones have you done?
15 Freak Out Over Soft Spot
Thinking about my little baby having a vulnerable spot on one of the most important parts of his body still sends shivers down my spine. I protected that soft spot with my life!
What doctors know and new moms find hard to believe is that the soft spot (aka fontanelle) isn't as prone to horrendous damage as we think it is. In fact, it's pretty darn tough. Contrary to popular belief, it's not even your baby's brain right underneath his skin.
What your doctor with tell you as a new mom that while you do have to be aware of the soft spot as it is tender and a good indicator of ailments, you don't have to freak out about it.
New moms tend not to listen to this medical advice. I totally get it! You're still going to annoy the crap out of your doctor, though.
14 Panic At Funny Baby Noises
Who knew that so many strange noises could come out of a little baby? I mean some of these little ones sound like Darth Vader when they breathe.
On top of that the amount of odd gurgles and sputters coming for newborns could be likened to an old Chevy truck about to breakdown on the side of the highway. So naturally you begin to worry if your baby is breaking down. It's scary!
All of the noises can really freak a new mom out. But if you run into your doctor's office in a panic, the good ole doc is probably going to roll his eyes at you.
Apparently, babies are supposed to sound like creatures from the deep. This is normal. After examining a few thousand babies, most doctors are used to these noises and sometimes forget that new moms are definitely not.
13 Avoid Telling Truth About PPD
Thankfully, postpartum depression is becoming more and more disconnected from a negative stigma. Women are being educated about it. Even celebrities are opening up about their own experience with PPD, which is helping other women face it.
When you go to your first checkup after giving birth, you will probably be required to answer some type of questionnaire about how you feel, both emotionally and physically.
One thing that annoys doctors is when moms aren't honest with the state of their emotions. Whether these moms are ashamed or scared or just don't want to face it, lying helps no one.
It actually makes matters worse. Doctors already know this, but they aren't mind readers so you can imagine their frustrations in learning one of their patients is having a hard time.
12 Schedule Doctor Visits For The Sniffles
You don't have to be a hypochondriac to go to the doctor for the sniffles. All you have to be is a new mom. Quite frankly, who is to blame them? Like mentioned before, babies are strange little creatures.
They make strange sounds, do strange things, and strange stuff comes out of them...at every sphincter, too! It's very confusing to a new mom to know what to take seriously and what to just shrug off as normal baby weirdness.
The thing is that doctors typically know the difference and tend to either laugh off our paranoia or get annoyed at "wasting" their time.
Better safe than sorry, though, so I think I'd rather have an annoyed doctor than a baby who is truly ill.
11 Worry The Pacifier Will Choke Baby
Warning labels come on pacifiers, so there must have been a situation at some point in time when a baby had an issue with his or her pacifier. Of all the moms to be freaked out by their babies choking on the pacifier, the fear originated in reading the warning label...every dang time.
Recommending a pacifier is something that doctors will do straight to your face. Then when you freak out to them and disclose all your detailed fears, your doctor will still comfort you and look you straight in the face. He knows you need that reassurance. He's a trained professional and he won't falter, even as annoyed as he is.
Of course, he'll probably drink bourbon with his other doctor friends later that night and laugh about it all, though. Honestly, I'm okay with that.
10 Fail To Contact Lactation Consultant
When it all comes down to it, most women are physically capable of breastfeeding. The hard part is making everything work right. Breasts do crazy things and babies do even crazier things, so having success breastfeeding can get a little tricky.
Personally, I don't think that women were supposed to do all of this alone or figure it out by themselves. Back in the day, the women of the family or even of the village would act as a little sub-family. They'd be mid-wives, lactation consultants, and they'd even play doctor for all those new mom fears.
Doctors still believe in this type of environment which is why they get super annoyed when new moms who are having trouble breastfeeding fail to reach out to their lactation consultant.
9 Overdress Baby
Babies seem like helpless little beings who need to be bundled up to be able to function properly. Although babies are pretty darn helpless, sometimes they could do with out the crazy intense bundling. Actually, most of the time they could do without it.
You can't send baby out in a t-shirt and jeans when it's 50 degrees like you can your husband, but a snowsuit isn't the way to go either.
Doctors have a hard time explaining this to new moms and they tend to get annoyed at the cutesy, little outfits that moms dress their babies in.
While we moms and the doctors both have our own unique perspective, a good rule is to dress your baby in one more layer than you're wearing. Bonus: it can be cute!Hopefully this will appease your doc
8 Question Doctor Because Of New Research
OMG science is forever finding new things that will kill you. It's awesome and ridiculous all at the same time. Of course we want to know how to take care of ourselves the best way that we can so we can live the best life possible.
Sometimes new moms take this a little too far, though. While there is a great deal of research that is notable, there are some bogus articles, as well.
New moms have been known to question the doctor because they read this or that. It can get annoying.
Following your gut as a new mom is a must, but you've got to take your daily dose of common sense, too. If an article says that all cribs are dangerous because they could flip upside-down in an F5 tornado trapping your baby underneath and creating a "caged bird" complex, so don't use a crib...then maybe you should take another dose of common sense. Let your doctor have a break.
7 Fail To Pay Attention
As a pregnant women you dealt with pregnancy brain. As a new mom you deal with new mom brain. It's all very similar. The brain malfunctions just originate for different reasons. Also, you're a woman and natural thing of 753 billion things at one time.
We would love to listen to and remember every single thing the doctor tells us. It's probably not going to happen, though. With a screaming baby in our arms and 100 more errands run, we can't capture it all.
I know doctors get annoyed when we don't listen then call back to ask the same question we asked while we were there, so we actually have a second chance to grasp it all.
Could you just send me the dictation of our appointment so that I can transcribe it. Better yet, can you just send me the transcribed copy? Thanks a bunch doc!
6 Tell Doctor How To Perform Exam
Each doctor has his or her own way of doing things. This includes how exams are performed. If you learn anything from doctor's visit over the first five years, it's that you baby is usually fussing and probably throwing a huge fit in the exam room.
For babies and kids, going to the doctor stinks. The stupid stickers they give kids don't really help all that much either. We parents just pretend like they're supposed to. When it all comes down to it, no one likes going to the doctor, so can you blame kids?
Needless to say, a pediatrician has a big job in dealing with your screaming child. He or she has probably only handled about a million kids just like yours, so let the doc do his or her thing. The last thing a doctor needs is a parent telling him how to do his job.
5 Play Miss Know-It-All
Doctors are uber annoyed at people who frequent WebMD.com or other self-diagnosing sites then attempt to diagnose their baby...to the doctor. Last time I checked, that was the doctor's job.
For many people, just a scroll through a page of symptoms makes them an expert. Who needs 8-12 years of training to be a doctor anyway, c'mon!
Seriously though, although these self-diagnosing sites seem helpful, your doctor is probably going to get frustrated that you don't just trust him or her to do the research for you.
Of course there are situations where further research is necessary, but for the most part, your doctor probably has you and your sweet baby covered.
4 Treat Baby Like Porcelain Doll
Here's a fun fact that you are probably telling everyone now that you're a professional mom - babies are not actually as breakable as you think. News flash, I know!
When you first had your little one and got to put clothes on him for the first time, you were probably incredibly cautious. The nurse probably laughed at you as you ever so gently pulled the onesie down and wrapped your little one in a loose swaddle.
Next thing you know, you're swaddling that baby like a little burrito and can change his clothes in under ten seconds (because that's really all the time you have).
This notion of treating our babies as if they were porcelain dolls can annoy doctors to no end. While each baby is indeed very special, most of those little tykes are tough as grit.
3 Obsess About "Doing It Wrong"
Do you want to be supermom? I know that I do. Most mom do strive to be the best mom they can be. It's a tough job and it's a very, very emotional job. You know we moms have the tendency to obsess and worry over stuff.
I bet you've plopped down on your couch in tears before just weeping over how horrible of a mother you thought you were. The kicker is that most good parents feel this way. They worry about what kind of parent they are and how they can do more for their kiddos. It's usually the crappy parents who think they're awesome 24/7. You know what I mean?
It's normal, but doctors can still get annoyed at us. They hear our worries are woes day in and day out. I'd be willing to bet that they can spot a dynamite mom from a mile away, but they still listen to our worries and fears.
So, while we keep worrying they'll keep reassuring us that we're not as bad as we think we are.
2 Worry About Percentiles And Milestones
Every single doctor's visit will have some element of measurement. Most of the appointment is based on measurements actually. Your baby's head circumference gets measures, his weight and height, and whatever else the nurse feels like measuring.
After all these measurements, your doctor will talk to you in what seems like another language - the language of percentiles. After he blurts out all the numbers that seem big and important, he'll probably say, "your baby is doing just fine."
It all sounds very intimidating, though. It's not only percentiles that can be intimidating, though, milestones can be, too. He'll want to know if your baby is doing this or that yet. One doctor visit after another you may have to mark a "No" if your baby has not yet met a typical milestone. THEN, your little one will undoubtedly perform that milestone task the very next day. Always. Little stinkers!
But, of course we moms freak out and doctor rolls his eyes again...
1 Bring Online Articles To Debate
You're not going to win any brownie points with your Pediatrician (or anyone in his/her office) if you decide to bring in hot topics to debate. There are a thousand and one new articles being written about this or that. You should do this for your baby, oh wait, we were wrong, do this instead. That's research and progression for you!
Your doctor has to stay involved in the field of research and has to stay up-to-date on all things medical. It doesn't mean that he or she has to whole-heartedly believe in them, but the research has to be acknowledge.
The last thing your doctor needs is for a researchy new mom to bring the newest medical fad into the office to debate. They will dread seeing you.