New moms have a lot on their plate. There is a lot of pressure being a new mom, even though being a mom is totally awesome. Being a mom requires many doctors’ visits for the baby, and in that time, we get pretty used to being at the doctor’s office. Some of the things new moms worry about really drive the doc crazy. They listen to the paranoid and crazy concerns and demands of new moms daily. As a mom, we think we know what is best for our baby, but that is just not always the case.
The doc is there to make sure the babe is healthy, happy, and safe. Of course, not every doc is the best fit for every family, and if that is the case there can be plenty of other offices to choose from. Either way, doc may say things that mama just does not want to hear. We understand that as a parent we know our children better than anyone else, but to be honest, we do not know the medical end of it as well as the doctor does.
It is okay to admit that we just do not know it all, and leaving it in the doc’s hands could be lifesaving. Doctors must deal with naggy, controlling, bossy and/ or even paranoid moms on a daily basis and they are so used to it- but that does not mean they don’t wish they would just cooperate.
Here are some of the 15 things new moms do that drive the doc crazy. Know anyone guilty of any of these?
15 The Soft Spot
Some parents know about a baby’s soft spot, while others find out when touching their baby’s sweet little head. The soft spot ( aka the fontanelle) is not as sensitive as moms believe. Doctors will tell parents to be aware of the soft spot because it is tender, but it is not something that needs constant freaking out over. Normal touching will not harm the baby. When touching the soft spot, you are not having any contact with the baby’s brain, like some believe. What you are touching is a thick protective membrane. At some point this soft spot will not be there anymore, but in the meantime, there is no need to go crazy over it. To do any real damage the soft spot would need to be poked very hard and purposefully.
Not every mama decides to nurse, and that is totally okay. For those who choose to and really want to succeed- it is best to get help if needed. Breastfeeding is not easy for everyone and it can be tricky. Contacting a lactation consultant, midwife or even your OBGYN can help get everything going in the right direction. Not reaching out for breastfeeding help when needing it is just setting yourself up for failure, and that drives doc crazy! There is no reason to be embarrassed, this is new and confusing to a new mama. This is something baby and mom need to figure out, and having a little intervention cannot hurt. If a mama reaches out for help and the problem is not fixable, then she can at least say she tried and did not give up until she had to!
13 How Do You Dress Your Baby?
Babies are so helpless and innocent and fully rely on mom and dad’s assistance. When it comes to dressing baby, it is best to not over or under dress your peanut. The rule of thumb is to dress baby in one more layer of clothing than you are wearing. Some adults can go a whole winter without a winter jacket or are constantly shivering even in the spring- and that is all fine and well, but babies don’t work like that. The main goal is to keep baby comfortable, and that really can be a challenge. Doctors want parents to keep their baby’s temperature normal, and adding or taking away clothing in specific environments can cause temperature change. We get it, some baby outfits are super cute- but when it comes to baby’s health and safety, it is always best to be practical instead.
12 Assuming The Baby Is Behind
Every single doctor’s appointment will have some focus on your baby’s growth. Doc will be keeping track of baby’s head circumference, height, as well as weight. Doc will also focus on what baby is and is not accomplishing milestone wise. Some mama’s will freak out if doc mentions that baby is not doing something they should be (for example, rolling over) but sometimes babies just do things at their own rate. Of course, sometimes the delay could be more serious while other times baby is just holding off for another week or so and doing their own thing. Doc will also start talking percentiles and that is the comparison of your baby to other babies their age. Doc will let mama know if there is a need to be alarmed, and if he/she does not say anything, the best bet is to trust the doc and not panic. Some mama’s obsess over these percentiles and milestones, and that drives doc nuts!
11 The Skin Obsession
Dryness and peeling of the skin is totally normal when a baby is born. This might get in the way of moms dream newborn pictures being that this is not the cutest newborn stage symptoms. Think about it, baby spent nine months surrounded by fluid, so her skin was never able to flake off like an adult does. If baby's skin seems irritated, you notice a rash or breakout or if babies skin seems excessively dry, contacting the doc is not a terrible idea. More often than not, it is just a normal part of the newborn stage and it can drive some docs crazy when parents are constantly rubbing all sorts of things on their newborns skin to get it to go away. Lotions with perfumes and dyes can make babies skin extra dry along with too many baths.
10 Calling The Doctor Because Of The Sniffles
Being a new mom can bring out worries you never knew you had. Babies make strange sounds and have liquids that come out of what seems like everywhere- we get why some mom's freak out. It is confusing to know what is serious and what is just normal. Of course, it is better to be safe than sorry, and this is situation that may annoy doc but at least they know you care about your kiddo. Some docs may get annoyed while others are always more than happy to answer any questions. It is scary when baby spikes a fever or starts coughing, and sometimes calling the nurses line is the best bet before making an appointment. It is hard as a parent with no medical background to be able to figure out what is worth going to an appointment over and what is not.
9 Ignoring Care Safety
As parents, we like to think we know what is best for our child and we have it all under control. While that may be true to an extent, that is not always the case. Some parents like to ignore or not educate themselves on car seat regulations and that drives your doctor bananas! Following simple rules can save your baby’s life, and doctors just don’t get why some parents don’t listen. Making sure the car seat is installed correctly for the baby’s height and weight as well as placing the chest clip and tightening the straps correctly is crucial. Some doctors repeatedly tell parents to not put their baby in the car with a puffy jacket, and yet they still do it. How can we blame doctors for not getting irritated? Placing your 8-month-old forward facing is not going to make doc very happy.
8 Pushing For Medication
Its natural to want our babies to get better as soon as possible. The truth is, antibiotics and medicines are not always the answer. There are appropriate times for medications, and if during a doctor’s visit doc claims they do not need medicine, it is best to take their advice on it. Pushing gripe water, essential oils, Tylenol and antibiotics can really irritate doc. It is always best to trust the professionals and they will let you know if whatever the issue at hand is a cause for alarm. If doc does not feel baby needs medicine, mama fighting back is not always helpful. Of course, mom wants what’s best for baby, but doc has more knowledge on the topic than she does and sometimes it is just best to let the professionals take the lead.
7 Skipping Out
We all lead busy lives but if something is important enough to you, you can make time for it. Skipping well-visits can be a recipe for disaster. Developmental and health problems that are not addressed and taken care of by a doctor can get much worse. Doctors have the access and ability to help their patients, and when parents don’t speak up, it can be detrimental for their kids. As parents, we are our kids biggest advocate, and not keeping up with their health can create lifelong problems. Continuing to go to well-visits helps the child and parent feel more comfortable with the doc so they’ll be more likely to discuss future concerns. It really upsets doctors when parents ignore their child’s health because as parents their job is to protect and help their kids. No one wants to set their kids up for failure, and skipping well-visits can be harmful.
6 The Mom Group Problem
While pregnant and after baby it is encouraged for moms to join a mom group (online or in person) so that they are a part of a community who understands them. Mom groups can be amazing, but, they do not know more than the professionals. If three moms from your mom group claim the best way to get baby to sleep is to give them Benadryl, it is probably best to ask the doctor first before making that move. Just as bad as swearing by the mom groups is swearing by google. Of course, we can find very valuable information on the internet, but there is also a lot of false information. It is always best to consult the doc who knows your baby and his/her medical history before doing anything or making any big decision. Swearing by the mom group or WebMD is most likely going to insult your doctor.
5 Questioning Everything
Science is constantly finding new information that furthers and add to our knowledge of certain topics. New moms have been known to question doc because of what they have read. It can get annoying and can be insulting to the doc. While there is a lot of research that is notable, there is research that is not 100% accurate. It also depends on how things are worded to the doc, saying “I read recently somewhere that breastmilk can help with the ear infection treatment process, what do you think about me giving it a try?” is MUCH better than saying “new research says breastmilk can cure ear infections and I am not going to give my baby the ear drops and antibiotics because I keep up with the newest research.” Sometimes the way things are worded can make a difference on how they are said. Either way, it is always best to trust the doc and their medical team.
4 Lying About The Dark Cloud
When mama goes to her first checkup after giving birth, she will be required to answer questions pertaining to PPD (postpartum depression.) Doc wants to make sure mama is mentally and physically healthy. Not telling the truth about the presence or severity of PPD can really annoy and disappoint your doc. We understand why some mama’s try to dodge talking about this- embarrassment, fear, or even exhaustion can be the reasons. Not talking about this issue can make matters worse, but doc can’t force the truth out of you. Doctors care about their patients, and it is frustrating for them to know they have the ability to help their patients but their patients are just not giving in. Lying help no one and the issues of PPD can get pretty severe.
3 Think You're Doing It Wrong?
Most moms strive to be the very best mom they can be. It is a tough job, but no one is perfect. New moms tend to obsess and worry over some things (or everything.) This is a normal feeling, but doctors do get annoyed at this. Of course, doc still listens to the worries and fears, but that does not mean it does not drive him/her crazy. Doc will reassure us that we are doing an excellent job, but that does not always take away the worries. Good parents worry about what kind of parent they are and wonder what they can do better. It is normal to have self-doubt in any situation in life, but being a new parent, it is totally normal. Is baby getting enough to eat? Are they gaining enough weight? Are they wearing the best diapers? We understand, but it still drives doctor’s crazy.
2 When The Doctor Gives You Advice...
The doc cares about you and your baby, and it is really rude to not pay attention during the appointment. Sometimes thinking they've got it all under control is a reason mama's do not pay attention to the doc. Another reason is maybe mom is nervous and gets so mentally overwhelmed that she cannot focus. It is common to get overwhelmed when fed tons of new information. It is best to bring a notebook with you to jot down information as Doc is talking. They are the experts and they do know best. Not giving the doc your attention (PLEASE refrain from texting during an appointment) is a sure-fire way to disrespect him/her. Fussing over your cute baby or day dreaming can wait until after the appointment, in the meantime, listen to what the doc has to say.
1 Being Over Confident
A sure-fire way to get doc annoyed is for a mama to be a know it all about stuff she does not really know much about at all. Scrolling through google does not make you an expert on your baby’s health, going to medical school does. Your doc probably has you and your little peanut covered and although some websites can be helpful, they are not to be taken 100% seriously. Doc will probably get frustrated if you do not put your trust in him/her and do the research for yourself. Of course, there are times when further research is necessary, but that is not up for mama to take charge of. Doc will look into the issue on their own and consult with fellow colleagues. We understand moms just want to protect their babies, but insulting the doc is not the route to go.