Parents are pretty good at knowing what’s good for their kids and what’s not. However, commercials and advertisements sometimes over exaggerate the quality and entertainment value of their products, (mainly because they’re oriented towards kids), and parents end up wasting their money on useless products. That, or, parents are just crazy rich and decide to blow their money on whatever they see fit for their child. Nothing wrong with that, let’s just hope said kid doesn’t grow up to be too spoiled.
Whatever the case, some just make the wrong choice when shopping for their children. And we can’t blame them. Toys are different now than they were 30 or so years ago, and most just buy something that looks entertaining even if they don’t really know what it is or what it does.
Everybody always says don’t judge a book by its cover. Maybe the same should be said about products for kids. Brightly colored packages and bold fonts make the most ridiculous things look fun and cool. Plus all those cheesy, overexcited infomercials that all seem to just repeat the name of their own product over and over to get it stuck in people’s’ heads. Some products stand out from the rest, though. These are the ones that are just so dumb, it’s hard to wonder why anybody would make them in the first place, let alone consider buying them. Here are the 15 dumbest things parents have paid for.
15 Designer Baby Clothes
Many well known fashion design companies have their own line of baby clothes. Designer baby shoes, too. And no, they’re not cheaper than their regular clothes. In some cases, they can even be more expensive! Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to buy the best, high quality clothes for a baby. But think about it, it’s not very logical. For one, that’s a ton of money to invest, and we all know that designer clothes are made to look good, not to be comfortable.
Another thing is that in a month or so, all those expensive clothes will no longer fit, and all that money was wasted. Baby will probably appreciate soft clothes designed specifically for comfort and sensitivity, and so will the wallets of all those parents. Not to mention, baby clothes are usually always cute, no need for a brand name.
14 Baby Doll
There are literally thousands of different types of dolls on the market. Ones that walk or crawl, cry, come with bottles, or even a mini stroller. And why not? They’re cute, and most little girls love their dolls. Berjuan Toys, however, decided to manufacture a doll that a child is supposed to breastfeed. And in all honesty, it’s a little creepy. They cost a whopping $89 USD, though since their arrival the price has dropped considerably.
A child is supposed to wear a bib type of thing that comes with the doll. The doll has a sensor that activates a suckling motion and sound when placed near the corresponding sensors in the bib. The company probably had honest intentions, but a small child breastfeeding a baby doll is a little much.
13 Gelli Baff
No, that’s not a typo. For $10 USD, bath time will turn kids messy instead of getting them clean, and as an added bonus, it’ll clog the drain! The sarcasm here was probably pretty evident. These “bath bombs” will turn a child’s bath into a big vat of colored goop. Though usually they find it pretty entertaining, this stuff is a nightmare for parents.
It’s incredibly hard to clean out every last bit, and some people experience their drains being plugged up afterwards. Not to mention that after a kid soaks in all the slimy substances for a while, they’re probably going to need another bath to properly clean off. Bath time can already be difficult enough when dealing with especially fussy children, but come on now. Is this really necessary?
12 God Almighty Action Figure
The most offensive item on this list probably goes to this action figure. It’s literally a beefed up version of what people believe God would look like, and he comes with an AK-47! Neat! Many parents complain that teaching kids about religion at such a young age is not the best thing to do, and those who don’t mind the religious aspect complained about the weapons. Okay kids, don’t be bad or God will smite you with his assault rifle?
11 Dancing Doll
The toy comes in a brightly colored “night club” themed box, with little hearts around the words pole dance. The doll itself comes with a brown haired girl in a short, glittery dress, attached to a pole on a circular stage with a disco ball on top. What kind of message is this supposed to be sending kids? “Hey mommy! I wanna be a pole dancer when I grow up!”
The box states that the doll can dance, spin, go round and round, and slide up and down. Clever rhyme, but honestly. The only people I can imagine buying this thing is a father who’s trying his hardest but has no concept of what toys are appropriate for a little girl.
10 Fun Shapes For #2 Time
Even though the product itself is the most idiotic thing someone could’ve invented, they at least could’ve come up with a better title. What poopy time fun shapes is, is a plastic tool that is, well, inserted into a child's rear to make their poop come out in shapes such as stars or hearts. I can not comprehend why anybody in their right mind would invent this, let alone why anybody would even buy it.
Imagine those machines that squish playdough out into rolls of shapes. It’s basically that. For human waste. What’s worse is that the box states that their new patent easy glide technology makes the process a lot less messy. Which means that they had an earlier version that was even more shoddy.
9 USB Pet Rock
I’m sure lots of us had pet rocks as a kid when our parents wouldn’t get us a real pet. And there’s no shame in that. But Spending $15 USD on a USB rock is a bit of a stretch. The USB part doesn’t even do anything. You plug it in, and nothing happens. Waste. Of. Money. Tons of people spent their cash on these, however, so to each their own.
The rocks come in a little cardboard carrying case, similar to the ones you get when you adopt a cat, and it’s lined with straw. It’s actually pretty cute, but not $15 dollars cute. If a kid wants a pet rock, it’s pretty darn easy to just go outside and pick one up. Plus, they’ll probably get over it in a matter of days after they realize how boring it is.
8 Furby Babies
This list wouldn’t be complete without our childhood nightmare, furbys. These fuzzy demons are plagued with stories of paranormal activity and just plain awfulness. They’re cute for about 2 hours, but then they get weird. These brightly colored, big eared egg shaped creatures have noise boxes that most people claim stay on even when the batteries are taken out. Creepy much?
Even if no paranormal things actually happen around these things, they are just plain annoying. The noises they make are super loud and incredibly obnoxious. Most kids find them scary, and those who don’t get bored of them after a short period of time. Then again, kids do that with almost everything. It’s almost like their changing brains are just wired to only like things for short periods of time. Maybe electronics are the way to go?
7 Tamagotchi Pets
Tamagotchis are actually pretty cool, and they can teach kids about responsibility. But at a young age, children usually don’t have much conception of the subject. These little electronic egg shaped devices were invented in Japan. It’s a virtual pet that kids have to take care of, but here’s the catch. Unlike other virtual pets on the market, this one is capable of dying. It has to be cared for and paid attention to like an actual pet.
Tamagotchis can even interact with other tamagotchis, similar to sharing games through cables on an old school gameboy. The concept is actually pretty clever. Unfortunately, many kids (as mentioned above) get bored after a short period of time, and let their tamagotchis die. It’s fun for a while, but ultimately a waste of money.
6 Silly Bandz
Silly bandz were one of those products that got extremely popular for a little while, and then died out and nobody heard of them again. Like the kendama, and today’s fidget spinners. Silly bandz were basically colorful rubber band bracelets that were shaped to look like certain items, such as guitars or skateboards, etc. They had thousands of different designs, and kids wore tons of them on their wrists.
But, it’s kind of pointless. The whole notion of the product is to have a bracelet shaped like a certain thing. But when the bracelet is actually worn, the shape disappears, and they look like lumpy circles. Not to mention that they snap really easily. They were cheap enough, but everybody got over them pretty fast, and they wasted a lot of people’s’ time.
5 iPotty Gadget
iPhones are cool, so are tablets and smartwatches. But iPotty? That’s a bit much. It’s a brightly colored plastic potty training tool that includes a stand for an attached tablet to go on. Buying kids expensive electronics is already a pretty bad idea, and a tablet specifically designated for potty training will quickly be unusable once potty training is complete.
Most adults today don’t have any problems going to the bathroom on time and in a civil manner, which means our parents potty training methods were perfectly fine without a tablet for us to play around on. Also, potty training will probably take much longer with such a distracting item sitting right in front of a child. It just seems a little counterproductive and expensive to be buying as a short term solution.
4 Play Silks
It’s exactly what it sounds like. Silks for children to play with. And they’re not cheap! Silk usually isn’t, and such a delicate material should not be in the hands of children. But the concept itself is also pretty dumb. It’s literally just a square of silk. An expensive square of silk. And there’s nothing else to it. Children are just supposed to use their imagination or something.
Maybe I didn’t grow up to be a creative adult, but I can’t imagine very many things that would be fun with just a square of silk. Tie it up and make it look like a flowy fish, but still. The average kid would typically want something more entertaining, like toy cars or dolls. Perhaps if the silks were big enough, they could be used as a soft play mat, which would make more sense. They’re actually pretty small, however.
3 STD Plushies
Even though these are a little weird, even I have to admit that they’re actually SUPER CUTE! The message is a little weird though. It’s good to teach kids about STDs, but it probably shouldn’t be something they should know about at such a young age. Plus the fact that the manufacturers made them look so adorable, which kids associate with good things rather than bad.
The line includes the most common STDs such as herpes and chlamydia. The same company who made the STD plushies also made plushies of common diseases like the flu or common cold. And yes, they’re also really adorable. Honestly, they’d be pretty cute little stuffed animals as long as the children don’t know what they actually represent. I do have to admit, though, this would be a good way to teach older kids about STDs and diseases.
2 Socker Boppers
These were actually pretty popular. And honestly? Pretty fun, too. But many parents complained about the message they’re sending to our children, which is essentially hitting others is okay. Socker Boppers are inflatable boxing gloves that kids use to play box or fight each other with, though it’s all in good fun.
Unfortunately, an inflatable item designated for punching isn’t the greatest idea, as they popped pretty often. Though they were surprisingly durable, it only lasted so long. Children loved them, but most parents had problems letting their kids punch each other, even if it didn’t hurt at all.
1 Plush Toy Uterus
It seems that toy companies will turn anything into a plush toy. STDs, viruses, and yes, a uterus. It even has fallopian tubes, and an optional egg that can come with it. This thing isn’t detailed enough to be able to teach kids about the reproductive organs, so I’m not sure what it’s intended purpose is.
Just like the other plushies on this list, it’s still cute. This one, however, is a little bit creepier, as it has eyes. And the eyes are placed in such a way that the fallopian tubes look like severely deformed arms, and the whole thing just looks like an amorphous blob. Still cute, though? Get the whole collection! Eggs, sperm, and yes, they have male appendages too. I didn’t think it was possible to think balls were cute, but.. Nailed it!
Sources: HuffingtonPost.com, Heavy.com, Cracked.com, Listverse.com, AwesomeInventions.com