Having a baby is no easy task. Not only is it physically exhausting and painful, but it usually requires the parents to lose a lot of sleep. Many new parents are up all night in the hospital dealing with contractions and the pain of childbirth. Although the women do most of the hard labor, the dads get exhausted too, especially the ones who are extremely supportive.
Having a baby is also a huge emotional shift. You are experiencing love and affection that you have never felt before. Many new parents didn’t even know that they were able to feel such strong emotions for another human.
Having a baby changes you in just about every way. Parenting is an exciting and rewarding journey, but it can also be a really scary endeavor in the beginning. You don’t know what you are doing and many new parents are paranoid about everything. While some may try to say that your parenting style is crazy or that you are overreacting, you have every right to parent exactly how you want to. There are just certain things that new moms and new dads don’t want to do the day the baby comes home and that’s okay. Here are 15 things that parents should avoid the day the baby comes home.
15 Let The Guests In
Oftentimes, guests like to visit new moms and dads while they are still in the hospital. It’s very normal to have family or close friends stop by to see your new little bundle of joy and to make sure the mama is doing well too. While some people might deny guests while they are still recovering from birth, most new moms and dads don’t mind.
They are still on an emotional high from meeting their baby, and they are excited to brag to the world.
Perhaps they get some flowers and balloons or take pictures for the baby book. The point is, they are still in the hospital.
Once you bring that baby home, everything changes. All of a sudden real life seems to hit you. Mom and dad realize that they are all alone with this fragile little baby. The last thing they want is for guests to come knocking on their door bringing germs and loud voices. According to Huffington Post, new parents should not let anyone come over the day they bring the baby home unless you can cry in front of them or tell them to “shut up.” Basically, visitors are not the priority at this time and it might be easier for everyone to just avoid it for a while.
14 Clean Things Around The House
It might come as a surprise, but babies don’t exactly pop out right when you are expecting them. There is a good chance that a pregnant mom-to-be was planning on picking up the house, dusting, sweeping, or even doing some laundry before her baby arrived. However, nature has a way of taking over. It can be frustrating as new parents who want everything to be perfect when you bring that little bundle of joy home for the first time, but your house may not look perfect. Just remember that your baby is what’s important, not the fact that you didn’t have time to sweep before they arrived.
Some new moms and dads might have it in their mind that they want to pick up the house right when they get home so that it’s nice and clean for the new baby. Unfortunately, that ship has sailed and there are much bigger fish to fry.
According to Parents.com, it is recommended that you deep clean the areas of your house that may hold the most germs, such as doorknobs and light switches. They recommend doing this before the baby arrives so that you don’t have to worry about it with a newborn. Of course, you can’t get to everything on your list before your water breaks, so if the day comes to bring your baby home from the hospital, cleaning shouldn’t be something to worry about.
13 Schedule Newborn Pictures
We’ve all seen those Instagram moms who seem to pump out the most magical looking newborn baby photos the day she brings her baby home from the hospital. Sometimes it seems literally impossible to do.
As a new mom who wants to brag about her baby’s beauty just like everyone else, scheduling newborn baby photos might seem like something that should be done the day you come home from the hospital.
After all, your baby doesn’t stay that little forever. If you didn’t know any better, you might think that you need to start calling photographers the day you come home.
In reality, it’s totally normal to schedule newborn photos within the first two weeks of their life. According to Peachpit.com, the age of the newborn actually does make a difference in the type of pictures they can take. For example, if you want those super curled up pictures where your baby is “womb-like,” the earlier the better.
Babies become less flexible as they grow and get older, so it may be beneficial to consider what type of photos you want before your little one is even born. The day you come home from the hospital is simply not the day to worry about it.
12 Call The Insurance Company
In the midst of figuring out motherhood and fatherhood, another important aspect of parenting is a lot of legal stuff and paperwork. Health insurance is extremely important, especially when it comes to newborns. With new babies, it’s unclear what health issues they might have and how many doctors appointments might be in your future.
It is always smart to make sure your child is covered. As a new mom, your instant thought once you bring your baby home is probably going to be in regards to safety. You want to ask your doctor every question in the book, which makes you remember that doctors can get really expensive without insurance.
According to Bernard Health, you have a 30-day window to enroll your newborn baby in your healthcare plan. Since you need their social security number and birth certificate, this is not something you can do before they are born. I know it may seem like a lot of stress to deal with in the midst of being a new parent, but this is not something that needs to happen the first day you come home from the hospital. Give yourself a few days or even a week to settle in, and then start worrying about these details.
11 Fill Out The Baby Book
Okay, so you’ve decided that you want to be a DIY mom and make your child’s baby book the best one on Pinterest. Ultimately, baby books are used as keepsakes and can capture these amazing moments of early parenthood. Looking back on these memories of your newborn’s first back or their dad cutting the umbilical cord can be incredibly special. And, sometimes you might think that if you don’t start organizing this baby book immediately, then life will just get in the way and it will never get done. The truth of that matter is, if a baby book is something that’s important to you, you’ll make time for it.
Trust me, if you want to make a baby book, you will. But, it doesn’t have to be the day you come home from the hospital.
That time does not need to be the day you come home from the hospital. New moms and dads are usually exhausted, and the thought of getting out the craft paper and putting hospital pictures in a book may not sound like fun.
10 Write Down The Birth Story
Writing down the birth story is something that is recommended to moms for many reasons. First of all, it can be really nice to look back on the story and remember all those emotions and memories. Another reason is that oftentimes women forget how painful childbirth actually was. According to The Conversation, science does suggest that over time women begin to remember labor and birth pain as less severe than they originally recalled.
Some people believe that this is caused by the fact that women want to keep reproducing and so their mind tells them that it wasn’t so bad. Another thing that is said to happen after labor is the halo effect, which is where the overwhelming joy of having your baby makes all the pain seem worth it.
With all these changing emotions, it may seem like you as a mom are destined to forget exactly what you were feeling when you gave birth to your newborn. A desire to document your experience is totally normal, and can even help you prepare for your next birth in the future.
However, you do not need to start documenting your experience while you are still experiencing it. Don’t worry about getting every little detail down on paper right away. When new moms give themselves a little bit of time to adjust, they can write with more clarity about their birthing experience.
9 Stress Over Assembling The Pump
It’s no secret that pumping breastmilk can be a super stressful endeavor. Not only is it something that society has a ton of opinions about, but it’s been pretty much ingrained into the minds of women that breastmilk is a million times better for her baby than formula. While there is no getting around the benefits and nutrients that come from breast milk, it’s not worth all the stress and anxiety that it can bring to young mothers. When you first come home from the hospital, you want to make sure your baby is safe and well taken care of, but it’s also a good time to start learning the ropes of parenthood.
If your first pump doesn’t work, don’t stress. Just try again the next day.
Assembling the breast pump is something that can cause way more harm than good. I have a personal friend who literally started crying when she couldn’t figure out how to get it to work. It is an extremely stressful time and despite all of the amazing and positive emotions, sleep deprivation and exhaustion really do take a toll on you. If you are super dedicated to breastfeeding, that’s great.
8 Hide Your Insecurities
Let’s be real: new moms have so many insecurities it’s hard to count. They are worried about being good enough for their baby. They are worried about doing something wrong. They are worried about how they look or if society will judge them for a certain decision they made.
Trying to act like you have everything under control when you don’t is something you should not be worrying about on the day you bring your baby home. You should be happy and stressed and worried and willing to ask for help if you need it.
Besides all the normal stresses of motherhood like lack of sleep and pure exhaustion, trying to act like you have it all together can actually make everything worse. There is so much peace in being real with yourself and everyone else around you. Keeping up a facade is exhausting and something that new moms really shouldn’t have to worry about.
The day parents bring their baby home from the hospital is supposed to be an exciting one, but according to Netmums.com, bringing a tiny little fragile newborn home for the first time can be a really terrifying experience for most parents. However, so many parents try to hide their insecurities instead of just owning them.
7 Try And Stay Busy
As crazy as it sounds, many moms and dads feel like they have to stay busy the day the baby comes home from the hospital. They’ve read all the parenting books and have subscribed to every online blog. They have all this information and yet, they don’t know what to do with it.
Should they put the wipes in a warmer? Should they make another bottle? Maybe they should start doing the dishes. For a lot of new parents, there is this overwhelming feeling of anxiousness that causes them to want to stay busy. This stems out of a love and concern for their baby, and a desire to make sure every little need is met.
There is nothing wrong with sitting back and relaxing with your new little one. If there are those moments that allow for some peace and quiet, parents should embrace it, not feel like they are wasting time. According to Parents.com, staying busy can actually feel like a chore when you are a new parent.
You love your baby and want to spend time with them, and yet all you can think about is everything you could be doing while they nap. This is a very normal mindset for new parents to have, but be kind and give yourself the first day to simply relax. Don’t worry about what you should be doing and just worry about what you have to do to take care of that baby and enjoy any downtime while it lasts.
6 Worry About The Baby’s Outfit
So, you have a closet full of newborn clothes, but half of them have spit-up on them and the other half are simply too small for the giant baby that you birthed. Don’t worry, this is totally normal. I know it seems like some people have newborn babies that come out of the womb destined to be models, but that is just not real life.
The day you bring your baby home from the hospital, reality will hit you and you will start to detest all those other parents out there who made it look so easy on social media.
After dealing with diaper explosions, spit up, breastfeeding disasters, and a crying spree that lasted for an hour, the last thing on your mind should be the baby’s outfit.
And yet, in the back of your head, you’re thinking about all the other babies who were brought home from the hospital looking perfect. You begin to question the outfit you put your baby in and wonder if that is really good enough to be their first real outfit. According to Parents.com, new moms and dads should not worry about trying to be perfect.
Ultimately, you guys get to decide how you want your baby to look and dress. There is value in doing things that feel right for you instead of what you thought you should do for society. Who knows, maybe the ugliest outfit will become your baby’s favorite.
5 Worry About Being Polite
Ever since we were little, we were taught to be polite. It’s in our nature not to want to be rude to people. Especially people we like. Parenting opens up a whole new can of worms. When it comes to being a mom or a dad for the first time, it is okay to put your foot down when it comes to how you want to raise your kids. According to What To Expect, there are tons of friends and family who usually want a chance to hold your newborn baby.
There are a lot of new moms and dads who don’t feel comfortable passing their precious little newborn around like a sack of potatoes. It could be a fear of germs, or it could simply be a protection thing.
Either way, you guys are the parents and the one thing you should not be worrying about on your first day home is being polite. It’s your job to be the best parents you can be, and that means sticking to your guns and learning to stand up for yourself and your baby. Most new moms and dads worry about the inevitable confrontation that could arise when others ask to hold your baby or to even come over before you are ready. Most people are understanding so don’t worry about not being polite.
4 Ignore The Recovery
Usually, when people go through surgery, they get to stay in the hospital for a week, and then they come home and get taken care of for another week or longer. When a mom goes through surgery or a delivery, she gets a crying baby and no break for herself.
One of the biggest mistakes that parents make when they bring the baby home from the hospital is that fact that they completely ignore the fact that the mom is recovering from everything too.
Her body just went through a drawing and exhausting event, and she needs to be catered to as well.
Oftentimes, new moms ignore this advice themselves. They are so eager to be the best mom ever and to take care of their baby that they forget to take care of themselves. According to Vox.com, nearly have the women who give birth are still in pain weeks later.
That is because giving birth is very hard and takes a toll on a woman’s body. That should not be ignored just because the baby is home now. It’s important for the mother to be open and honest about how she is feeling and the dad might have to step in and do things while she recovers.
3 Force The Bond
It’s important to remember that every parent bonds with their newborn a little differently. It’s okay if there doesn’t seem to be this instant connection that everyone talked about. Love grows and putting pressure on this connection will just stress you out as a parent.
You can’t force the bonding to happen. It is a natural process and everyone is different. It can be easy to take your baby home from the hospital and to all of a sudden feel like you aren’t bonding enough with them. You may begin to question if there is something wrong with you, or if you will ever love your baby as much as you should.
According to Parenting.com, breastfeeding, staring into your babies eyes, and just cuddling can all release a feel-good hormone that causes bonding to happen. Basically the more you act like a parent, the stronger your bond will become.
So don’t worry if you feel like there’s something wrong with you or if that bond isn’t there right in the beginning. Just like everything else, it will grow with time. The first day you bring your baby home is all about feeling things out and getting into a rhythm. Usually, that baby is the center of attention, so there’s no doubt that they will feel the love.
2 Assume The Baby Wants You
This one is for the dads! All too often, dads feel like there are certain things that they simply can’t do for their newborn baby because they are not the mom. Since the mom carried that baby and birthed the baby, it just seems natural that there will be certain things that require a mother’s touch.
This is a big mistake for fathers to make because they are not giving themselves enough credit. It’s easy to be scared or timid when it comes to a fragile newborn, especially when you are not the one who has been feeling them inside of you for nine months.
It’s important for dads not to assume that the baby wants mom. The baby probably just wants love and milk and a diaper change. And fatherly bonding is extremely important too. According to Sleeping Should Be Easy, the fact that the baby fusses with dad could be due to poor timing. Perhaps dad gets home at the time of day where the baby is usually cranky, or on the first day home, maybe the mom hands dad the baby after a feeding when they are fussy, or when they need a diaper change. You can see the theme. For dads to really find their footing with this whole parenting thing, they need to try bonding during the times of happiness.
1 Try To Look Presentable
Can we all laugh together at this one? Moms of newborns who try to look presentable are wasting their energy. Not only do moms go through immense pain and agony to birth a child. But, it’s followed by a mess of emotions, extreme exhaustion, and sleep deprivation.
By the time mom and baby make it home from the hospital, putting on makeup and looking cute are the last things on the priority list. However, many moms often feel like this is something that she should do. If there are going to be visitors coming to see the baby, or pictures being taken, it makes sense to want to look halfway decent.
With all the other stresses of bringing a baby home, looking presentable is one all moms can take a pass on. No one will judge you for those baggy eyes and greasy hair. It’s all apart of the process. According to Jezebel.com, it’s important to keep things in perspective. When you look back at the pictures of your first moments home with your newborn, do you want to look like a glam squad showed up? Or, do you want to have a raw, natural, and glowing face from the joys of motherhood? It’s up to you, but remember that you don’t have to look a certain way for other people.
References: Huffington Post, Parents.com, Peachpit.com, Bernardhealth.com, TodaysParents.com, TheConversation.com, Netmums.com, Parents.com, Parents.com, Whattoexpect.com, Vox.com, Parenting.com, Sleepingshouldbeeasy.com, Jezebel.com
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