Pregnancy is a journey of the body and mind. A woman can’t understand what this journey entails until she embarks on it herself. It's like one of those long voyages to sea, and it pretty much takes the same amount of time, maybe more. Actually probably more. Nine whole months. It's an adventure of the senses for those of us who have experienced it. Though there are extraordinarily cool moments, like feeling baby kicking away in her stomach, to seeing that first heart beat on the monitor in her obstetrician’s office, there is also the nausea, the tiredness and soreness, as well as a whole bunch of other things that make a woman feel a little overwhelmed at times.
She usually thinks that with all the pregnancy books out there and what she has seen her friends go through, that she knows the whole routine of pregnancy well, or at least reasonably well. She is partly right, of course. But she can't know the total experience unless she is living it. Then and only then will she experience the highs and lows and know how she will get through it. A woman may say, “oh, I will never do or say that.” But she will be surprised at what will come out of her mouth when the time comes. Here are 15 things Pregnant Women Never Thought They’d Say:
15 I Could Use A Drink
We all want to believe that once we become pregnant and have another human life growing inside us, we will make only good choices and do healthy things that are good for us and our baby. We are all human though, after all. Everyone has their moments when they want to make choices that are not the healthiest for their bodies and minds. Alcohol is one of them. Now, in moderation it's fine.
But when a woman is pregnant, because doctors don't know the amount that could cause damage to the fetus, women are told to abstain and they do. This is why when she has an alcohol craving, and some Moms do, she feels extra bad like she is doing something wrong as a future mother for even thinking of indulging in a drink. She just needs to repeat, “I am allowed to have desires for myself. As long as I do not put baby and myself in danger, it is alright. I will celebrate with champagne after baby is born!"
14 I Could Stay Pregnant Forever
On the flip side are women who from the moment of conception, have everything going hunky dory. They experience zero nausea, aches and pains, have tons of energy, (to a certain extent), and just in general feel terrific. These ladies would not even mind if pregnancy lasted more than nine months. They will tell anyone who will listen that this will make them happy, and sometimes gain admiration, sometimes other pregnant women who are not as fortunate will shoot daggers at them.
Life sometimes is not fair, as not all women experience pregnancy the same way. All we can say to these lucky ladies is "hats off to you." Send some of it this way for the rest of us. We’d love to experience some of the glowing, happy, joyful side effects of pregnancy. Many of us seem to have either a completely negative experience or a little bit of everything, but not too much positive stuff. At this point, we take what we can get.
13 How Much Longer?
And here is the other side of the coin. These are the women that are super excited about becoming Mommies, but are at the end of their ropes with this whole pregnancy thing. How much more nausea, back aches, bloating, gas or other irritations do they and their body have to go through before this kid comes out? They are anxious to meet the child and VERY soon. They may be near the ninth mark or mid-way through, but regardless, are at the point where they are tired of being pregnant.
They are not tired of carrying future life. That's the only exciting part. But they are tired of being pregnant and want to move on to the next stage - like yesterday. They want to meet this little being that has already turned their world upside down. So try and look at the positives of this baby instead of all this horrible body stuff going on.
12 This Is Not Fun
What the heck did she think pregnancy would be? Some women think they'll be a little tired, hungry, maybe a tad bit nauseous. She didn't picture what she was now feeling. This is not fun at all. This is a pain in the butt, and if it were not for her carrying her beloved future child she wouldn't know how to get through it. She’d probably go stark raving mad. Still, there were times when she was doubting her sanity with this “having a baby thing.”
Who knows what would happen after if her life is already crazy now. She may have to call off any future kiddos as maybe her body just didn’t get through pregnancy well. Smiling on the outside while trying to make everyone else, including her partner, think she was ok, is wearing her down. Soon she’ll have to flip out and let loose to re-calibrate.
11 OMG How Am I So Gassy!
Ok this is something she is not too thrilled to share or even admit to, but she did not realize how gassy she would be during pregnancy until she actually experiences it. Some days it even seems to her like, pardon the expression, all that wind is propelling her and baby across the room! The gas and bloating are another unfortunate occurrence during the pregnancy phase, as the body adjusts with all the different hormone levels and changes that it is going through.
The side effect is the woman’s body seemingly having a life of its own when it comes to digestion and elimination. This is particularly difficult if she had always been a very proper sort of woman who was offended by men doing this sort of thing. And now her body is off like a firecracker. Still, she needs to accept this as another stage of pregnancy and make the best of it.
10 Who's Drive Is This?
Oh my lord. She thinks about sex all the time now. Ok, maybe not in those beginning few months when she was spending most of her time hunched over the toilet, but now that her stomach has adjusted and quieted down, she is revving to go right at the time her partner is not. Men can be a “no go” as he is worried she is too fragile and does not want to risk hurting the baby. Of course, this is not possible.
As long as she has not been told anything by her medical care practitioner or doctor, she has the green light to go ahead with any sexual activity. This may not be enough to convince her partner though, if he is worried about potential problems. Yes, this can be a dilemma indeed, but one that the couple must work out together for both to be able to move forward together.
9 This Kid Is An Alien Who Has Taken Over My Body
Yes, sometimes it feels this way to women. The body that used to keep food down, like meat and coffee, now can't do what it did before without being sick, evoking tears or being extremely tired. The growing baby has taken over her body and mind completely, and similar to brain washing (though in a totally natural way), baby has immersed its opinions and way of being into Mommy's life.
The baby can then be compared to an alien life form who has taken over the space and is running the show. Of course she knows this is natural and only for nine months, but she may be tempted to yell at this little alien once in a while for making these extra issues for her. Sigh. She misses her cup of coffee, burger and chocolate, stuff baby just does not like or want or need. On the other hand, it can sort of be cool to watch them move!
8 So, This Is My Birth Plan
She feels this obsession with creating a birth plan that has to unfold exactly this way. She knows this is probably not one hundred percent possible, but she is thinking this to have some sense of control over a body that no longer feels like hers. This is not easy. She knew in theory she’d have to relinquish some space and energy, but had no idea what to prepare for. Now that she is in the boat of having to handle all these Mommy-to-be feelings, she wants to at least be able to plan for what she may be able to control - her tolerance of pain, drugs or natural childbirth, etc. When she is seeing things in very concrete terms like this, it helps her deal with her stress and feelings of ambiguity and worry about becoming a mother. One step at a time.
7 Why Can't I Just Sleep!
All the stress and worry about impending motherhood is easy to hide in the daytime. She is busy at work, preparing for baby at home with decorating the nursery and baby-proofing every cupboard and surface, and talking to family and friends about her excitement. Her mind is occupied and she has no time to stop. It’s in the night time when she is lying in bed in the dark, and things are quiet and she doesn't hear anything else, that she can't quiet her racing brain and the thoughts that keep firing back at her.
What is she worrying about? Well, pretty much everything from childbirth, to being a new Mom, to baby’s health and well-being, to doing the right things to keep baby safe. She also worries about the world baby is being born into and what she can do to protect him or her in this world to stay safe and healthy. This all floods her brain and she can’t sleep. Then of course, is the fact baby moves around a lot that keeps her up.
6 I'm Not Shaving Today
She'd have thought she would have decided to go grizzly in the lower half of her body, but hey, if it’s hard enough to see the legs after a certain amount of time due to a slightly larger abdomen, who cares if they have black hairs that are as thick as a bear’s skin on them, right? She also would feel the same about her under arms. Ok, she can see those, but bending and positioning herself to shave when she feels nauseous, tired or dizzy, is just too hard.
Also, her level of embarrassment would have dropped at this point in pregnancy. People get it that she will be having a few more hard months and cut her some slack in the meantime, so she can drop her defenses a little, too. She realizes surviving each day is more important than being hairless and will hear herself saying that to people, too.
5 Where Is the Bathroom
She was told that she would need to pee a lot while pregnant. But never did she think she’d be pretty much glued to a toilet the whole nine months. This is basically what is happening now, and wherever she goes, she is asking for toilet directions. It's funny, embarrassing, and at times exhausting, but there is no way around it. She will not start wearing diapers, though sometimes she has close calls and makes it, then wishes she had a diaper in her purse just in case.
Regardless, the bathroom question becomes something constant she is asking whoever is there and wherever she is going. It kind of becomes second nature to her and soon loses all sense of strangeness, too. It’s only the weird looks she gets from others that makes her realize she has probably asked the toilet question a million times. Still, after a while she gets used to this.
4 Why Are My Dreams So Friggin Weird?
Dreams already get pretty weird sometimes, but nothing like during pregnancy. She never thought in a million years that it could get even worse. She dreams of strange people, animals, fantasy worlds, anything really. It's cool, yet a little jarring, too. She tells anyone who will listen about these dreams and wonders what is causing them and where they are coming from. People tell her it's from hormones, stress, tiredness and all of the above.
Regardless, she finds herself thinking about where the dreams are emerging from and talks a lot about them to family and friends. She may find herself reading dream interpretation books trying to piece all of this dream puzzle together. It's interesting, but not something she thought she’d be thinking and talking about.
3 Why Can't I Stop Crying!?
Oh those hormones seem to have no end sometimes. She will cry at things like commercials, songs, food, books and even trivial fights with her partner, family or friends. It's driving her crazy, but at the same time this is all perfectly normal hormone-wise. It's one thing knowing that it's going to happen, and another thing to experience it happening daily and at random moments.
She is embarrassed and frustrated by this, but knows she has to get through this difficult time. It's temporary at least. She will probably say this many more times to herself to feel better and bore everyone around her, but hey, she’s the pregnant one here building a human so everyone should just give her space and get out of her way. She also is not the most rational during this time and does her best to try and stay sane, but of course she has her moments there, too.
2 You Know, You're Really Boring...
She never thought she’d be one of those women that talked non-stop about baby furniture, clothes, diapers, books, feeding, and really, anything and everything baby. If she could step outside and look at herself chatting away and people’s patient expressions and interest going over to glassy stares as they start to get bored and lose interest, she would probably try to stop, but it's hard. She has become this baby encyclopedia and whether people want to or not, she can’t help trying to educate them and talk to them about this, her new cool topic and interest and something she thinks everyone would love as much as her.
This is a novelty for her and she would be surprised at what people would be saying about her obsession - as for her it's simply something cool and new and interesting. Never in a million years would she think she would become one of “those” women chatting all day long about pregnancy and babies.
1 Oh, This Is Pregnancy Brain...
Then there are all the things she is forgetting every day, common things like putting the milk in the cupboard and the slippers in the drawer. Also, she is misplacing things, forgetting what people are saying to her, and in general feeling discombobulated in life. Pregnancy brain is something that is happening to her and is affecting her daily, though she may forget about its importance as it becomes part of her regular norm.
She used to laugh at friends who talked of this, but now it's happening to her and all she could do is laugh and shake her head and make the best of things. That is, she can do all of this when she remembers what it was she was thinking about in the first place. This is a tough time for her, but by making jokes and going with the flow, it will hopefully get easier for her and for people around her.