Pregnant women are everywhere you look. Between work, church, or on social media, you can’t escape pregnant women, nor should you want to. For some women, it’s super exciting and they will want to talk about everything. She will want to talk about the first time she felt the baby kick, when she found out the baby’s gender, or what color the nursery is going to be. However, some women might not enjoy talking about personal parts of their pregnancy, and that should be respected. They might be having a tough pregnancy or maybe she only likes to talk about her pregnancy with her close friends.
Sometimes they can get a bad rap for being easily irritated, and rightfully so. They’re just walking around, growing a human being inside of them, like it’s nothing. It’s actually very hard work! Between the hormones and the constant need to pee, pregnant women are entitled to be a little frustrated from time to time.
Besides the obvious off limits questions such as struggles with fertility, conception, or any reference to a wide load, you should try to stay away from personal pregnancy questions, unless she brings them up first. If all else fails and you don’t know what to say, you can always tell her she looks amazing and that she can totally have that other cookie. Stick to those two things and you should be good. If you simply can’t fight the urge to discuss her pregnancy, here are 15 things pregnant women never want to hear.
15 Baby Will Come When It’s Ready
A woman sees those lines on a pregnancy test. She goes to doctor's appointments and the doctors tell her everything she needs to know. She reads monthly updates about the baby’s size and what fruit or vegetable it most resembles. She does piles of research in the middle of the night which does less to ease her mind and more to convince herself she’s dying. After carrying that baby for nine months (which is actually more like ten), her excitement slowly turns into anticipation. She can’t wait to see the baby but she also can’t wait to get the baby out. After going through all that, you can imagine her answer, and the look on her face, when someone tries to tell her that baby will come when it’s ready. She’s known that baby will come when it’s ready. If she wants to complain about how she wants baby to come out, let her. And if she wants to Google ways to get baby to come out sooner, that’s where you leave her alone, and not tell her that baby will come when it’s ready.
14 You Look Like You're About To Pop!
Think of how you will feel when you tell a pregnant women she’s about to pop and you learn that she’s only six months pregnant. Yeah, you probably won’t feel too proud of yourself. Regardless, the phrase “about to pop” should never be said to a pregnant woman, even when her due date is tomorrow. Definitely don’t say it to her face, but I would recommend staying away from the phrase altogether. She is the one who has put on all that extra weight for the baby. She said goodbye to her skinny jeans long ago, and toward the end of pregnancy, she can barely fit into her maternity clothes that are supposed to fit pregnant women. She probably is literally about to pop, but there’s no reason for you to point out the obvious. She knows that she’s about to pop and even worse, she feels like she’s about to pop.
13 The Store Didn't Have The Donuts You Like
If an expecting mother sends you to the store to pick up a specific type of donut, you need to come back with them. She doesn’t want to hear the words, “the store didn’t have the donuts you like.” Did you try all the other stores in the town? Maybe the gas station? You may be thinking that it’s silly to give in to a pregnant woman’s every wish, but she can’t help it. Seriously, it’s science. With all the hormones coursing through her body, it makes her body feel like it’s not her own. Here’s a little example for you — a woman will produce more estrogen during one pregnancy than throughout her entire life when not pregnant. There are so many new things happening in her body, all at once. If it takes a special donut for her to feel more like herself, the least you can do is get it for her.
12 Get All The Sleep You Can Now
Babies don’t sleep. I know that. You know that. A pregnant woman who is about to give birth to a baby definitely knows that. That doesn’t make it better or any less true if you say it. You know what’s even worse than making sure a mom is aware that babies don’t sleep? Telling a pregnant woman to get all the sleep she can now. She can’t literally catch up on sleep now and then magically not need sleep for the next six months after the baby arrives. It doesn’t work like that. And if you say that to a pregnant woman and she gets frustrated with you, know that it’s not because you are telling her something she doesn’t know — it’s because she is a little frightened to be entering into this next stage of life, and knowing that she will be sleep deprived doesn’t help ease her feelings.
11 Are You Scared For Labor?
The answer to this question is yes. Now you don’t have to ask the nice pregnant lady. You’re welcome. If she is a first time mom, she’s scared of all the unknowns. How does she know when it’s time to go to the hospital? People have told her how much labor is going to hurt (this is also something pregnant women never want to hear), but she’s never experienced it before and really doesn’t know how it will feel. She's probably scared about possible complications or if her baby will be okay. If she already has children, she is probably still a little scared. She has been through it before and knows exactly what she’s in for. She know exactly how those contractions feel. Maybe she had everything go perfectly in her first birth and she is worried it won’t go perfectly this time. And like every mom ever, she is scared, but will endure whatever obstacle comes her way to make sure her baby is healthy.
10 Are You Sure It's Not Twins?
“Are you sure you aren’t having twins?” Wow, you're so funny. I mean I get it, kind of. She’s super pregnant and you’re trying to make a joke. Except it’s not funny because you’re making a joke about her size. By the way, that’s never okay, even if someone is not pregnant. If she is almost due, she’s been to the doctor over 10 times. The doctor has used a doppler to listed to the baby’s heartbeat over 10 times. She has had at least one ultrasound. You know where they can actually see inside her belly and look at the single baby. They being the doctors who have studied how to be an ultrasound technician for years. So yes, she is sure that she is not having twins. But thank you for that joke. And on the off chance that you are right and she is actually having twins, congratulations. Otherwise, you should probably stay away from this phrase.
9 You Are Way Too Tiny To Be That Far Along
It’s true that pregnancy can bring a lot of self-consciousness. You would be self conscious too if you put on 40 lbs. You might think you’re being nice by making a comment about how she doesn’t look big enough to be that far along. However, this is another phrase you shouldn’t be throwing around lightly. It’s probably more common that a pregnant woman gains too much weight than not enough weight, but it does happen. She has probably heard from her doctor that she needs to gain more weight to have a healthy pregnancy. She is already worried that her baby is too small and that something is wrong with her pregnancy. Every mom wants to be able to provide nourishment to the growing baby inside of her. However, sometimes they aren’t able to. Too big or too small — let’s just say that all comments about body size are off limits.
8 Are You Going To Try Again For The Other Gender?
If it’s someone’s first child, they are going to get asked if they are going to try for the other gender whether it’s a boy or a girl. If someone has other children but they are all the same gender, they will absolutely get this question at least once during their pregnancy. Maybe you encounter a pregnant woman who loves all things pregnant and just wants all the babies, all the time. She might be nice to you. Another situation includes a woman who has been very sick her whole pregnancy and is really just hoping to hold her baby in her arms soon. Regardless of their situation, asking someone if they are going to try for the other gender is very personal. You know what you are really asking them right? Think about that one. Why don’t we just let woman enjoy their current pregnancy and not worry about things you shouldn’t be worrying about.
7 Those Changes Will Be Permanent
This is what a pregnant woman really, really wants to hear. While sacrificing her body and her favorite food and drink, she also wants someone to remind her that her body will never be the same either. I’m actually totally kidding. I don’t recommend you say that to a pregnant woman, ever. It’s no secret that babies are hard. They’re also amazing. They come into a family’s life and completely change it. They bring hope, and they represent everything that is good in the world. A woman knows that babies come with sacrifice. Sleep, favorite foods, or even her body. Her body will never be the same again. Even if she loses all her pregnancy weight, her clothes still won’t fit quite the same. And that’s okay because she brought life into the world! She knows the sacrifice she has to make and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
6 Can I Touch The Belly?
I have been pregnant two times. When one of my friends or family member asked to touch my belly, I also said yes. I was enduring sickness, heartburn, feet in my ribs, and so much more just to grow this child. I wanted everyone to feel that I was growing a baby in me. However, I think there is a enormous difference between a family member and a complete stranger asking you if they can touch your belly. I never had a random person in the grocery store ask to touch my belly. It’s probably a good thing too, because I don’t know what my response would be, and I can’t promise it would be nice. Growing a baby or not, it’s weird to touch someone’s stomach. If you are a close friend or family, it might be okay for you to ask if you can touch her belly. If you do not know the expecting mother, under no circumstances should you ask to touch her.
5 Can You Eat That?
While it is true that pregnant women do need to slightly modify their diet, it’s not your place to enforce any rules. With all the old wive’s tales out there about what pregnant women can and can’t eat, it’s no wonder people are a little uneducated in that area. I was told I couldn’t eat certain foods with my first pregnancy and was told it was actually okay to eat them during my second pregnancy. These change all the time. Do you know who the perfect person is to tell her what foods she can and can’t eat or how much she can eat? Her doctor is the best person for that. If you are not her doctor then you shouldn’t be the person. The only time you can tell an expecting mother what she can and can’t eat is if she put you in charge of watching what she eats. Even in that case, I would be careful.
4 Was It Planned?
“Was it planned,” is close to the top of the list at one of the worst questions you can ask a pregnant woman. Even if it was your place to know (newsflash, it isn’t), what good does that question do? Does being planned mean that the baby will be better liked than a baby who isn’t planned? I have had two children. My first child was planned. The experience was amazing and I was so excited to finally hold him in my arms. My second child was not planned. When my son was six months old, I started getting sick every morning and soon found out I was pregnant again. While we were very surprised, the experience was just as amazing and I was equally as excited to hold her in my arms. Being planned or not planned doesn’t change how I feel about them and it never will.
3 You Really Should/Shouldn’t...
When a woman gets pregnant, she will receive heaps of unsolicited advice. Some of it will be good and some of it will be bad. Most of it will not be good or bad, it will just be different from what you want to do. There aren’t many people more passionate than pregnant women, so giving them unsolicited advice is not recommended. They know the pros and cons for delivering with or without an epidural and have already decided what they want to do. They have researched about the benefits of breastfeeding and believe strongly in whatever their choice may be. They already have their ideal birth plan and the chances of them changing it because you say an offhanded comment about formula feeding moms is not going to deter her. While the way you do things may have worked for you, she believes strongly that her way will work for her. Neither way is better or worse — it’s just different.
2 Baby Horror Stories
Did you have the world’s longest labor? Do you know a friend who wasn’t able to get an epidural and said it was the most excruciating pain she’s ever felt in her life? That’s awesome — but maybe you should keep that to yourself for now. Expecting moms are already worried about everything under the sun, especially if this is their first baby. I’m sure they know how to use Google and can read all about those awful experiences. Any sad, horrible, or painful birth stories are just going to worry them more and are generally unhelpful. You don’t have to sugarcoat everything and say it’s the best thing that’s every happened. Maybe just stick to the stories that are a little more upbeat. If her doctor is concerned about something or wants to let her know other possible outcomes, then her doctor can be the one to address that with her.
1 I Forgot To Record Your Show
If a pregnant woman asks you to record her favorite show so she can watch it later, and you forget to do it, then you are in trouble. She has been thinking about watching that show all day, and you’ve basically crushed her hopes and dreams. You have a couple of options. First, you can scour the internet to see if you can find it online anywhere. You can check other channels to see when it will air next on TV, but it probably won’t be right now, which is when she wants to watch it. Another option would be to see if any of your friends may have recorded the show. If you have exhausted all your options and absolutely cannot find the show, the next best thing is to go out and buy her favorite snack. She will still be upset, but her tummy will be happy. If you haven’t done so already, an apology is also welcomed.