It’s hard for even the best of moms to be 100% appropriate in front of the kids, all the time. Some behaviors, which aren’t appropriate for kids like cussing or drinking, can be fun for adults. We all have those moments when we balance our desire to engage in certain behaviors, against the potential damage those behaviors might do to our children.
For example: Mommy really needs that wine in the evening to keep her sane, so she hopes her sanity is worth whatever detrimental side effects the kids will suffer from witnessing a wine glass permanently affixed to mommy’s hand (I’ve no experience with this whatsoever, BTW). Or, perhaps mom wants to go out with her girlfriends for a night on the town; but how does she sneak out past her daughter so her little girl won't see mom's hoochie-mama outfit? It’s tough. Moms want to have the chance to enjoy adult pleasures, without negatively influencing the kids.
There are many behaviors that women do that aren’t necessarily bad, but they definitely aren’t appropriate to do in front of impressionable children, because of what the children will learn and model. Monkey see, monkey do, right? These are the things that moms should try their very best NOT to do around the kids.
Check out the following 15 things women do in front of their kids that are completely inappropriate. If you do any of the things on this list in front of the little ones, you might want to rethink these behaviors.
15 Pole Dance In Front Of Their Kids
Listen, moms—I'm all for working out; obesity is a real epidemic around these parts, so please feel free to get your work out on with no objection from me. I'm not even against pole dancing, if that's your thing. It takes real strength and talent to climb that pole...but let's not do it in front of the kidlets, okay? Yes, I do realize that there aren't any men in your home throwin' dolla bills at ya (at least I truly hope not), but it's still not appropriate. I'm actually a little surprised you need someone like me to tell you that, but since this picture (and others like it) exist—clearly you do. Why don't you join a pole dancing class if you feel the need to, somewhere far away from innocent eyeballs? I'm good with that! But poles in the house aren't much better than having a porn studio in the garage...It just ain't right, people.
14 Misuse Of Weapons
There are some things in this world that it's just not right to joke around about, and weapons are one of those things. You don't play with them, you don't joke around when you are handling them, and you certainly don't point them at people, unless you are defending yourself from an enemy. Whether this mother was jesting, or just trying to look tough, this just isn't funny. Pretty sure this is one of the worst images I've ever seen, but taking a picture with a gun is not the only thing I'm talking about. Moms who carry guns should be responsible gun owners, and they should not treat that responsibility lightly. Guns and other dangerous weapons should be locked away, and parents need to teach their children the proper way to handle guns. If we want to keep our right to have guns, we need to take that privilege very seriously.
13 Groping Or PDA Behavior
We've all been a little creeped out when our parents gave each other a good long smooch; something about your parents kissing is just gross! But I'm not really talking about a loving embrace, followed by a long peck on the lips. I'm talking about some serious groping/grabbing action in front of innocent eyes. Yes, kids are going to walk in on mom and dad doing the nasty—it happens—but we should probably try to do that business behind closed doors. Sexualizing children before they are ready for that kind of thing is all kinds of inappropriate. Squeezing each other's private body parts is likely going to fall into the category of PDA, in case you weren't sure what qualifies. Grinding against each other's bodies, even with clothes on, is also a bit uncomfortable for the wee ones to witness—I'm quite sure a lot of people would back me up on this one.
12 Sending Nudes With Kids Around
Sexting is a big thing these days, and I'm all for spicing up the love life—go for it! Just be careful when little eyes are around (or round, as the case may be). Moms still want to look and feel sexy, and they certainly have a right to want to turn on their partner. There is nothing wrong with sexting between two consenting adults, but the kids are not consenting to seeing your naked bum. Sure, they might be too young to really have a clue what's going on, but then again, they might. And, did you know that exposing a young child to sexual behavior is a crime? Now you do! Some of these moms likely don't think the situation is that big of a deal, but just imagine if it was your mom exposing her naked body to you? Get that mental picture in your head, and then maybe you'll think twice about sexting in front of your kids...
11 Watch Raunchy Television
I'll be honest with you; I've broken this rule a time or two. I have a real willpower issue when it comes to Game of Thrones, and I find it tough to wait for the kids to go to sleep to binge watch my favorite show. Still, I try to at least kick them into the other room, so they can only hear the blood-curdling scream of Ramsay Bolton being eaten by his own dogs—at least they can’t see it. But, we moms have to remember that what we allow our children to witness on television affects them a great deal. We've known about this for a long time…I knew there was a reason my parents wouldn't let me watch MTV or Pretty Woman when I was growing up! We've got to remember that there are age ratings on shows for a reason, and even then we need to be careful what they're watching. Things are just getting more difficult to monitor, what with Youtube and Ipads everywhere. Still. Try.
10 Wear Inappropriate Clothing
Come on ladies! If you don't know this by now, then nothing I can say here is going to help, but there is a fine line between sexy and—well—let's just say, don't cross to the other side of that line. Lots of women like to wear tight clothes. Tight clothes show off our attributes, and maybe the fact that we've worked out the last couple of weeks, so I get that. But, there's tight clothes and then there's tight clothes, you-know-what-I'm-sayin'? I know a few moms who probably have that deer-in-headlight look, because they're like, "tight clothes are tight clothes, right? What's she talking about?" Sorry to say, I can't help you moms. If you see nothing inappropriate with the way the women in the above pics are dressed, then keep doing what you are doing. Maybe your kids won't notice, and they will grow up totally fine. Throw some salt over your shoulder though, just in case.
9 Fighting In Front Of Kids
Physical violence just isn't appropriate in front of the kids, and it doesn't matter to me who you're coming to blows with—the spouse, or the BFF that had the gall to get your exact same haircut. I really don't even like boxing or UFC as a sport—I know! What's wrong with me?—I just don't see what use fighting has ever done for anyone. Unless you are defending yourself from an assassin, what's the point? Anyhoo, if you're going to fight, 'like daddy taught you' then go ahead and channel your inner Ronda Rousey, but let's wait until you're not near those little ones, yes? Is that a deal? You know how when you were in high school, and you wanted to fight but you told your enemy, "Meet me later in the parking lot!" That will work here as well. "Meet me later, when my kids aren't with me!"
8 Heavy Drinking Around Kids
This is going to be a tough one, because we all do it. We all have friends over for a tipple, and the kids are somewhere nearby. Oh! There's little Timmy, he just ran by with the Nerf gun! If you think they aren't watching though, think again. They see you. Sure, you can try to disguise the adult beverage by putting a red nose on it, but kids are smarter than you think—they can't be fooled. They can read your body language and shifting behaviors, just like the rest of us. If you think that drinking and smoking (heaven forbid, other drugs), don't affect your kids, you are kidding yourself. Still, you will notice that the title here says 'heavy drinking around the kids', emphasis on the word 'heavy'. That's because I'm trying to justify my own naughty behaviors the way we moms like to do. If I drink 'lightly', does that make it okay? Please say 'yes'!
7 Swearing Around The Kids
When I say 'swearing around the kids', I'm not really talking about the occasional four-letter utterance that drops from our lips after we just walked into a glass door. I'm talking about using foul language on the regular in front of the kiddos. 'Cuss words' aren't bad in and of themselves, they're just words used for expression. The trick is, that certain words are appropriate in certain situations, that’s what the kids will learn. It is this word 'appropriate' that I want you to focus on, not whether I'm saying 'never say bad words ever or you're evil', rather I'm saying: "Don't swear around the kids." Same as you wouldn't drop the f-bomb in front of your new boss, choose all of your words carefully in front of listening ears, and not just swear words—all words. Your kids can be negatively impacted by slanderous language, mean or derogatory words, etc. Be careful what you say, your kids are always listening.
Well, I suppose if you are being unfaithful to your partner, then you are probably not making the best decisions regarding your children as it is, but it should go without saying that you shouldn't be unfaithful in front of your children. Texting (sexting) and secret rendezvous should probably take place when the kiddos aren't around, and yet I know a lot of moms who have no problem doing this. Maybe they truly believe their kids won't understand what they're doing, or maybe they justify their behavior by believing that if mama's happy, then the kiddos will be happy too... If you're going to cheat, no one can stop you, and I'm sure you have your reasons, but don't engage in any of this behavior in front of your children. What do you think they are learning from watching you? They are learning to cheat and be unfaithful to their future partners.
5 Lying To Someone Or Cheating On Something
In this instance we are talking about lying to or in front of the kids, as well as cheating on something like a test or similar. I've seen this in action numerous times, and kids get a mysterious thrill when grownups do 'bad' things like lie or cheat, but they are absolutely learning that it's okay to do this behavior…as long as you don't get caught. "No officer! I wasn't speeding!" you say with little Junior in the back seat. Or, you tell your kid's teacher that he/she was sick at home, when you were really on an extended vacay. You just didn't want the day to count as an absence at school. But even these 'white lies' are hurting someone—your kid. They are shaping your kid's character—their honesty and integrity. Yes, we all have lied at some point, or sneakily cut someone in line at Walmart, but try to do this inappropriate behavior as little as possible.
4 Inappropriate Dancing
A lot of things that are inappropriate for kids are a real judgment call. Dancing with your kids isn't a bad thing—in fact they love it when you dance with them. Dancing is a great work out; it gets kids up and moving, rather than sitting on the couch. But, dance moves that are overly sexual aren't really appropriate around the younguns. This goes back to the PDA we discussed earlier. Sexualizing children is a horrible problem in today's world, with kids dressing and acting far beyond their ages. Part of the problem is our music icons are all twerking and doing other sexual dancing, and our kids see this. Let kids be kids; let them jump around goofily to clean versions of songs. Try a nice Kidz Bop CD. Don't let the kids watch raunchy music videos (see Watching Raunchy Television above), and for twerk's sake, don't perform these raunchy moves right along with the little ones.
3 Baring It All
There is much debate about whether baring it all in front of the kids is appropriate or not, and I'm going to go with a middle ground answer of—it depends. Not enough research has been done on this topic, and different cultures believe different things regarding nudity, but I do think that you need to pay close attention to the way your children are behaving. If your child appears uncomfortable with your nudity, respect that right away and don't strip down in front of them. If your children are hinting at wanting more privacy, absolutely respect their right to keep their privates to themselves. Any sexual behavior between you and your spouse should never be engaged in around the children. I think that a general rule should apply regarding mommy's nakedness: if your kids can point out your privates and call them by their names, probably shouldn't be naked around them.
2 Talk About Adult Subjects In Front Of Kids
Kids are always listening, even when we hope they aren't. Any time my husband and I try to have an adult conversation, my oldest is like a little creeper—trying to listen in. "This conversation is not for you, little one!" But, she's curious. It would be impossible to censor every single thing we adults discuss near our kids—they are going to pick things up, and there's not much we can do about it. The one thing we can do is try to be more careful what we discuss and be aware of who's listening. Try to take important family discussions somewhere where the kids can't go, and when the girlfriends come over—keep down any raunchy or inappropriate comments. Try having the conversation at a later time, perhaps after the kids have gone to bed. Again, we can't censor our kids from every conversation, but we can be careful what conversations they are able to hear.
1 Yelling With Kids Around
Some people and cultures are more vocal than others, and communication is important—so I'm not saying to bottle everything up, but I'm often surprised at how many moms will yell and scream around their kids. I’m not really talking about a good shout at the football field, but I’m talking about angry nasty yelling when you have a disagreement with someone. Yelling is one of those things that will elicit an automatic response from the kids in the vicinity, and it's not a positive response. They always looks scared when grownups lose control, and yet kids don't get to just walk away from all the drama—they're stuck with you. They have nowhere to run and hide, no way to escape the fear the screaming causes. Don't yell in front of your children. Don't yell at your children. It's really not appropriate, and it doesn't teach children how to control their anger and emotions, nor does it teach them how to communicate in a productive way.