While it's true that kids do say the darnedest things, often they say too much about one of their family members or something they hear repeatedly, but don't know that they themselves are not supposed to repeat it. We can just hear the boys reminiscing about the time Dad made them booger sandwiches. Then the girls are unabashedly talking about Mommy's front butt.
Yeah, TMI slips out of innocent little mouths far too often. It's not a lose/lose situation, though. Maybe too much information gets spilled and mom's face turns a little red. No, it's not lose/lose at all. In fact, it's a win/win for both parties.
Kids get to tell stories filter-free, and we adults get to laugh our butts off at those stories. It's more than just stories, too. Find out what faultless mistakes are made by little ones that just take a turn for the worst. It's not their fault they don't know when something is not supposed to be shared.
Bottom line is that kids tell it like it is. Their world is much more innocent than our adult world. They've not been jaded by the perversions of life as we know it. They take things at face value and sometimes they catch us off-guard with their blatant honesty.
Just remember next time not to leave that special toy lying on the nightstand or say something in front of a child that's best not to be repeated, because it will come back with teeth!
Here are 15 times kids' TMI was totally embarrassing. Try not to blush!
15 Daughter Tells TV Show What She Doesn't Like About Her Mom
Four-year-old Polly spoke very confidently when she confessed the part of her mom she liked the least. The bad part about it is that she did it on national television. Oh, and the part she didn't like was something fairly intimate opposed to her hair or nose or big toe.
Kym Marsh and daughter Polly appeared on ITV's Big Star's Little Star. When the presenter asked Polly what she liked least about her mother, there was no hesitation. As part of the show, Kym had to guess the answer.
She had to decide which answer to the question her daughter had given. They were: “her kisses are really wet,” “she watches herself on TV,” “her singing is too loud” and “when she gets her boobies out.”
Kym knew pretty quickly what her daughter had confessed. She told the host, “When we’d have a shower together she’d go ‘mummy’s boobies, I don’t like mummy’s boobies’, so I think it’s when I get my boobies out.”
14 Little Girl Thinks She's Wearing A Bracelet
When you get a new piece of jewelry you flaunt it, right? So, it's only natural for a child to do the same thing. Does the same set of rules apply if that new piece of jewelry isn't actually jewelry? Not sure what I mean? Then read on, please.
Much to 20-year old Ben Lauder's delight, he'd had a recent pleasurable romp with his girlfriend Amy-Jade. A certain toy in the shape of a large ring was used during this lavish love-making session.
Like any good nightmare, extreme pleasure always takes a wrong turn. The next morning he got a text from his girlfriend horrified that he'd left the toy on the nightstand. Why, you ask?
Ah well, Amy-Jade's 2-year old niece had been parading around the house with her pretty new "pink bracelet" that she found in Amy-Jade's room. After the little girl had been ruthlessly robbed of her newly found treasure, she was very upset and kept going through Amy-Jade's drawers to find it.
Lots of good anecdotes in this thread, I would even choose the funniest ones:
13 Kid Thinks People Shrink If They Don't Eat Their Veggies
We all know the speech about how important it is to eat all your vegetables. It's been given hundreds of thousands of times by millions of parents. And yet, some of us still eat a bag of popcorn and a spoonful of cookie dough for dinner. Sorry, Mom.
In addition, we all know that the scientific reason people look differently from one another is because of their hereditary make-up. Chromosomes are powerful kings and queens, and we just live in their world. That being said...kids don't know all these things yet. Here's proof.
On a grocery shopping trip, one child loudly asked her mom, "Is that what happens when you don't eat your vegetables?!" The poor victim of this child-like ignorance was a person with dwarfism. Thankfully he had a good sense of humor and didn't call the kid out on his curiosity.
12 That Time I Thought My Kid Called A Lady A Whale
Sometimes the right thing is said at exactly the wrong time. For instance exclaiming about your sports team victory, "we killed 'em" while at a funeral would be a fine example of this. Here's the thing, though, kids have zero sense of being politically correct. Their PC radar isn't broken, it's not yet established.
A story to prove my point:
A mother and young child were in the grocery store shopping one day. While in line at the checkout they found themselves behind a very large woman. The poor mom was mortified when her 4-year old said, "Look at that whale Mom!"
Both the large lady and the mother thought the child was simply stating the very non-PC obvious when, in fact, he was pointing out a magazine with a whale on it.
Oops. Just a case of bad timing!
11 The Silent "R" Is A B***H
Not only do you have to be careful what you say around little ones, but you have to remember that even the nice words get altered somehow. Here's a story about just that.
A family living the ranch life decided to take a day in the city to do some shopping. With two small children in tow, Mom and Dad were simply trying to wrap things up for the day. Target was their last stop, and it proved to be the best one.
With only a few more items on her shopping list, Mom was moving right along. She told her two-year-old son that all she had left to find were some britches (for you city folks, britches are pants).
When they finally located the right ones, the little boy was very excited. He proceeded to shout throughout the store, "Mommy, I got britches!" The only problem was that when he said britches, he sort of forgot the "R" so it turned out a little more embarrassing for Mom.
10 Boys Eat Dirty Popcorn
Silence is a wonderful, tranquil, near nirvana experience most of the time. When you're a parent, silence means something horrible is happening, trouble is brewing, and a mess will need to be cleaned up. Here's a story about silence and hiding the evidence.
One mother was hosting a sleepover for her son. For a treat, she sent the boys to bed with a bowl of popcorn. For an hour or two she heard giggles and laughs, but at one point the noise stopped.
As she entered the room, she was horrified to find her son and friend sticking popcorn between their butt cheeks them farting it out. The worst part is that they tried to quickly hide all evidence their activity by eating the butt cheek popcorn as quickly as possible.
Eww, just eww.
9 Girl Thinks She's Playing With Oversized Pen
It's already been established that kids don't understand many of the complexities of our adult world. Things that should be kept hush hush are often discussed...or rather shouted by fearless children. Often, this leaves us adults red in the face. Here's a very red-in-the-face story.
One especially artistic three-year-old loved to color and draw. More than going outside or even watching TV, she wanted to create some type of art. So, one Saturday morning as her siblings watched cartoons, her mom invited one of her friends to come over for a visit.
The little artist suddenly became very frustrated. Surrounded by her pencils, pens, and papers, she started to sob. She couldn't get her pen to write. Her mother's first thought was that it was out of ink.
Nope, it was her mother's vibrator and not a pen at all. Oops!
8 Awkward Announcements From The Men's Room
Some parts of the body should be left to discuss either in the privacy of your own home or at least in a quiet voice. This is a rule that children absolutely do not understand. Even as much as we try to tell them, some things just don't get through. Check out this embarrassing story.
A three-year-old failed to listen or obey his parents and decided to swallow a thumbtack. His rather disappointed father took him to the emergency room to see if they could offer some help.
While waiting their turn, the dad decided he needed to use the restroom before embarking on what could turn out to be a very long doctor's visit. Naturally, he took his young son in the restroom with him.
The little boy decided that then would be the perfect time to announce something. As the father is busy urinating, the son shouts (so that it could be heard from the waiting area), "Daddy, your willy is SOOOO big!" The remainder of their wait for the doctor was awkward to say the least.
7 Little Girl's Future Looks Bright
A few letters either added or taken away from a word can really change the meaning of it. Kids don't exactly know this let alone understand it. Let's face it, the English language isn't the easiest language to learn. Mix-ups happen and we just have to laugh about it. Here's a mix up for you.
During an open house at an elementary school, things were going normal for one little eight-year-old. Her mother was mingling with the other mothers and the little girl was proudly telling people what she wanted to be when she grew up.
It wasn't until the mother actually heard what her daughter was saying that she became mortified. She was announcing that she wanted to be a prostitute when in all actuality she meant that she wanted to be a prosecutor. Very different sides of the law, but still, an honest English language mix-up.
6 Girl Thinks Tinkerbell's Shoes Looks Like Mom's Privates
Anatomy - it's one of the most difficult topics to discuss with children. It's difficult for us adults, I should say. Kids are totally cool with it. In fact, our cutesie little words like va-jay-jay and hoohoo or winky and ding ding kind of throw them off a little.
Funny genital names aside, though. How exactly do you go about explaining pubic hair? It doesn't serve a whole lot of purpose except working as a buffer for private parts against friction. Still, little bit hard to explain. However, little ones do notice it. Check it out.
A 3 1/2-year-old went into a public bathroom with her mom while she went to the toilet. While she was doing her business the little girl said, "You have a bit of fluff on your privates like Tinkerbell's shoes."
Priceless. Plus, you'll never see Tinkerbell's shoes in the same way...
5 Mommies Favorite Tampons
Kids are curious little creatures. It's important to remember that they are innocent (to a certain extent) little creatures, as well. What is taboo to us adults is typically not taboo to the little ones. That's how we wind up with stories about kids telling too much information. Here's one for you.
A cute little three-year-old asked her mom was the box of tampons was in the bathroom. Her mom bluntly told her that they were tampons and that they are special for mommy.
A few days later, the little girl was shopping with her dad at the pharmacy. She spotted a box of tampons on the shelf and instantly got super excited. Knowing she had just discovered a treasure her mom would be thrilled with, she shouted, "Look Daddy, tampons! Mom's favorite!"
Needless to say, her dad got so flustered that he left the pharmacy without the item he had originally intended on buying.
Oh, and they didn't get the tampons either. Sorry, Mommy.
4 The Pirate With A Sense Of Humor
You can blame TV or even blame Hollywood for some of the things that our kids believe. For instance, when a child sees a pretty girl with red hair, it's either Ariel or Merida. All people with dwarfism are Santa's helpers and all men wearing eye patches are most definitely pirates. And so it goes in the mind of a child...
One mother found this theory to be all too true. While shopping one day, her and her young son spotted a biker. This particular biker was decked out in black attire, had long hair, and was wearing an eye patch.
The little boy fearlessly shouted, "Look Mama, it's a pirate!" To the mother's horror (and slight amusement), the biker passed them, but not before turning toward the little tyke and saying, "Arrrgh!"
Some people (especially biker pirates) have a great sense of humor!
3 Boy Was Excited To Find A Ho(e)
To some young kids and to some in the older generation, words with negative connotations are often innocent. For example, a Coke is a Coca-Cola not some nasty illegal drug. A screw is simply a funny looking nail in your tool box, not a nickname for a sexual act.
Here's a story of an innocent situation gone dirty.
At about three years old, one little boy was just learning how to help his parents in the garden. His dad was teaching him about planting the seeds, watering the ground, and all the tools used along the way.
Well, while dad and son were picking up more supplies in the garden section of a store one day, the little boy spotted a garden hoe. Being excited that he'd recognized a valuable gardening tool, the little boy shouted, "Daddy, look at that big hoe!"
It would have been completely innocent had not a young woman wearing a skimpy crop top not been standing directly in front of the gardening tools. Poor embarrassed Dad.
2 Daughter Tells Class About Mother's Diarrhea
Poop is poop. It's a pretty normal thing, but somehow we adults are not too keen on discussing the topic. Kids are perfectly fine with it, though. In fact, most of them will even tell you the color, shape, and size of their bowel movements. Awesome. Here's a poop story for you.
One little four-year-old attended pre-school three days a week. At the beginning of the pre-school class, her classmates would all sit in a circle for story time.
One day the little girl showed up to class late. Her mom hadn't been feeling well, and they were just behind schedule. Of course, Mom didn't really think much of disclosing this information to her young daughter, but she probably won't do it again.
As mother and daughter entered the classroom, the little girl announced, "We're late because Mommy had diarrhea."
1 Kid Calls Boss An SOB At The Company Picnic
Remember this if you remember nothing else from this post. Do NOT tell your children anything negative about your work or your boss, especially if your boss could be exposed to your kids one day. They will repeat it all back and they will not feel bad about it. Take this story, for example.
At age 5, one little boy was invited to accompany his parents to the father's company picnic. It was a fairly large gathering hosting about 150-200 people. As the big bosses made their rounds and mingled as big bosses mingle, the father's boss found himself having a conversation with the little boy.
Upon introduction, the little boy genuinely said, "My Daddy says you're a son of a bitch." For the rest of the day, the father's co-workers fed his son ice-cream and cake. Apparently he had the guts to say what none of them could!
Sources: Bored Panda, Elite Daily, Little Things