Pregnancy can be one of the most beautiful things a mother will remember for the rest of her life. A mom will always remember her first pregnancy clearly from how she reacted to finding out about the life growing inside of her, to the first time she felt her baby flutter in her belly. She will also vividly remember the first time she gave birth. Some women know right away that they will only have one child, while others will plan on having much more. For some women, certain circumstances will lead them to the decision to only have one child for specific reasons.
Sometimes women have a mental picture in their head of how they think their pregnancy and childbirth is going to go. They try to map out every detail from where they will receive their prenatal care, the kind of maternity clothes they are going to buy, right down to what hospital they want to deliver at. Not everything works out as we plan it, though, and situations arise that might alter the paths that we have chosen for ourselves.
Things like pregnancy complications such as, gestational diabetes and preeclampsia could happen to even pregnancies that were presumed to be healthy. Then there are labor and delivery complications such as the need for an emergency C-section because the umbilical cord wrapped too tightly around the baby’s neck.
When it comes to pregnancy, the only certain thing about it is that nothing is certain. Here are 15 pregnancy traumas that will make mom stop with 1 kid.
15 It Was A High Risk Pregnancy
A mom could be considered a high-risk pregnancy if she or baby has increased the risk of health problems and her doctor most likely may want to monitor her more closely than someone who isn’t a high-risk pregnancy. A mom may be considered a high-risk pregnancy if she is more likely to go into premature labor, or have preeclampsia, or to get gestational diabetes, or to have any issues with the placenta.
If mom already has diabetes, blood pressure issues, a history of drug and alcohol abuse, cancer, are older than 35-years-old, have had previous miscarriages, or are on specific medications the doctor may classify mom as a high-risk pregnancy.
There is nothing wrong with playing it safe. It is always better to play it safe than sorry when it comes to pregnancy and the health of mother and baby. One also never knows what challenges may arise as well. Sometimes having a high- risk pregnancy if enough to make women reconsider ever having another child.
14 The Body Didn't Heal Itself
There are a lot of postpartum issues that a mom has to worry about, that she may not even realize, after having a baby. Some things may seem like common sense such as pain when doing the dirty after having the baby while other things are a little less obvious like some urine incontinence.
A lot of women do not know about these things until well after they have already gotten pregnant. Some women may have also decided not to have gotten pregnant had they known about all the postpartum risks that could happen such as the chance that their uterus could creep out of their insides and try to wave at people.
There is a lot of stuff they do not tell women, even women who are trying to conceive. It is like a well-hidden secret they do not get passed down from generation to generation. Thank heavens for Dr. Google. Too much of a postpartum risk could be why some women decide that they are not having another kid after the first one.
13 The Delivery Room Damaged The Ego
Some moms may decide to stick with only one kid based solely on the fact that their first born’s delivery traumatized them by making them feel incredibly embarrassed no matter how many times the cute doctor told them not to worry about pooping on the bed because it happens to a lot of moms. Some women, probably quite a few, find the entire birthing process to be embarrassing in some way, shape, or form so much that it literally scares them away from having any more kids.
Giving birth, something that people would consider an intimate moment really is not an intimate moment for the mom at all because there is the doctor, nurses, and depending on where one is, all these other people surrounding a woman’s private areas making sure that mom and baby are okay.
The entire pregnancy process, minus doing the deed, lacks intimacy because there is always someone poking at areas that women just don’t like strangers, even doctor strangers, poking at. If a woman could safely and painlessly deliver their own baby they most definitely would.
12 Mom Couldn't Keep Anything Down For 9 Months
Some women have morning sickness so severe that they, literally, cannot keep anything down day in and day out. Morning sickness is a very misleading name, because it can happen at any time of the day, and not just in the morning hours. Morning sickness is caused by the changes in the hormones and is experienced at 50 percent of pregnant women. It can start around the 6th week and can go up to the 12th week, and unfortunately for some, it can last the entire pregnancy.
Another hormone that rises rapidly in early pregnancy is called estrogen, which is a possible cause, all with other hormones, that can cause morning sickness. The other things are the heightened sense of smell and sensitivity to odors that will make mothers feel ill and make them want to gag or throw up. There will be smells that one has smelled all their life that now makes them want to run for the hills.
For some reason, the morning sickness is so severe that they have no choice but to terminate the pregnancy or risk becoming and staying severely malnourished that they either stay malnourished or abort. For some women, it is a very tough call while others it was entirely too easy.
11 Baby #2 Is At Risk For Birth Defects
Most birth defects can be detected during prenatal screening tests, however, there are still a few birth defects that do not get picked up, or that just do not get detected for whatever reasons. Most doctors request extensive family backgrounds of genetic histories, racial, and ethnic backgrounds. Some mothers need to get tested for environmental exposures such as what medications they are taking, drug and alcohol history, and infections since all of the above can cause issues and complications for the baby.
The woman's age also plays a factor in whether or not the baby may develop certain risk factors for developmental delays. If a mom is 45 or older, there is a 50% of having the baby having Down syndrome or similar chromosomal birth defects. Breeding within one's own gene pool would also be cause for some genetic concern when it comes to birth defects. Sometimes birth defects can be detected using an ultrasound machine, and if a defect is seen there is a chance that the baby will be delivered via C-section. Women who have a child with birth defects are less likely to have a second child.
10 When It's Not Love At First Sight
Sometimes after having the baby, some moms are not always able to develop an instant connection or are able to fall madly in love with their baby. This is usually due to postpartum depression. Postpartum depression can sometimes develop after giving birth and sometimes days, weeks, or even months after giving birth. It is a psychological condition known for affecting new moms and can happen to as many as 15 percent of women.
Just because a mom may not be able to have the love for her baby the way that she expects, or that others expect of her, right away, does not mean that she is a bad mom or that she will never be able to love her baby. There is help, and a mom should not be scared to ask for it. The hardest part is asking for help, but once mom does that, and takes that first initial step, things will start to get easier.
Treatments such as antidepressants or talk therapy have helped other mom’s combat postpartum depression. A mom will just have to find out what is right for her since everyone is different. This could be a reason that a mom decides not to more than one kid because they are scared to suffer through it again.
9 Mom Can't Stand Looking In The Mirror Anymore
A woman’s body goes through a lot of physical changes during the entire pregnancy process. Some of those changes are more noticeable than others. Many women do not like the noticeable changes that happen to their bodies during the entire pregnancy process. They dislike the internal changes such as hot flashes and hemorrhoids and the more external changes such as stretch marks and the growing belly.
Some of these changes also stay with a woman well after the baby has been delivered as well. While they might diminish in noticeability they are still there. Such as stretch mark, they may decrease in noticeability over time, especially if a mom tries to use scar minimizing creams or vitamin E, but usually the never fully go away.
Some moms are also unable to get rid of the mommy pooch on their tummies even after only one baby which can be discouraging at times. Sometimes these things alone are enough to keep moms from wanting to have more than one kid.
8 Forced To Have A C-Section
Emergency C-sections are performed for numerous reasons, and a lot of times they are unplanned. Many women plan on having natural, vaginal births but due to complications or other reasons, things may not have turned out exactly how they have planned. Emergency C-sections may sometimes have to be performed due to the position in which the baby is lying in its mother’s uterus such as, breech or transverse. Other things such as placenta previa, placenta abruption, and uterine rupture.
If there are any complications with the baby, such as the baby started to become distressed and its heart rate starts to decrease, or if mom won’t continue to dilate for whatever reason, or if the umbilical cord gets wrapped around the baby’s neck. Needing to have an emergency c-section is a reason that a mom may decide to stop with one kid.
7 The First Baby Turned Out Terrible
Sometimes moms envision what they think their new baby will be like. They wonder if their hair will be straight or curly or if their eyes will be light or dark. Some moms wonder what the pitch of their cries and coos will sound like and if they will have little dimples in their adorable little cheeks. Not too many moms ever stop to think that their baby will be a little monster when they come out, but the truth is that does tend to happen some times. At times, some baby’s just cry and cry and cry some more. One would think that the baby would eventually cry themselves to sleep but that does not always happen.
Some babies are just really fussy. It is probably bad to say it like this, but some baby’s really are just terrible. Some moms really cannot tolerate that and may really decide that they never want to have any more kids because of how terrible their first born turned out to be. Maybe their first born was also a fussy eater and could only breastfeed when they intended to bottle or vice versa because they found that easier than running through the tenth formula brand.
6 Trouble Getting (And Staying) Pregnant
For some women getting pregnant to begin with can be a very trying time in their life and that can leave them with very little energy to want to ever try it again. Some women are very fertile and can literally get pregnant the first time they make an attempt. For others it may take years of trying and expensive treatments, not to mention a lot of heartbreak, before they ever get that first positive pregnancy test.
It can be a very difficult process for some women to go through, and unless a mom has ever been in the situation where they have had trouble conceiving it would be hard to imagine what it could possibly be like.
Sometimes, after having the first kid, it may be easier to conceive a second but some women just do not want to put themselves through the heartache again and it is completely understandable as to why. Going through fertility troubles can put some traumatizing mental wounds on any woman.
5 Dad Is No Longer In The Picture
Whether a mom was a single mom from the start of her first pregnancy, became single during the pregnancy, or it happened after the baby was born it really does not matter because being a single parent is tough. Babies are a lot of work and they are not cheap either. Not only will mom be missing out on sleep but she will also have to figure out a way to take on the financial burden while trying to fill the shoes of mother and father. It would be understandable if a mom would choose not to have another baby because she is a single mom.
Even if a mom would get into another relationship, get married, or the father would come back into the picture nothing is ever guaranteed and a lot of moms know that and take that into consideration. At times, the father may have never been in the picture, to begin with, or there could have been other circumstances. Having to raise a baby by oneself could definitely traumatize a mom enough to make her stop with one kid.
4 The Baby Arrived Too Early
Premature labor happens when mom goes into labor at 37 weeks or earlier. Premature labor can be dangerous for baby depending on how early they arrive because they always run the risk of their lungs not being fully developed. If that happens they might need assistance from a machine to have help breathing until their lungs are strong enough to breathe on their own.
Sometimes premature labor can be associated with smoking and also cause the baby to have low birth weight and underdeveloped organs. Unfortunately, babies who are born prematurely can also have some learning disabilities and may also have vision issues as they grow and get older.
Premature babies have also been associated with having some behavioral problems. Sometimes these issues alone are enough to make a mom not want to have another baby in the future because a child with learning disabilities and behavioral issues can be difficult to deal with.
3 On The Other Hand, The Baby Arrived Too Late
Post-term pregnancy is when the mother has a pregnancy that lasts more than 42 weeks. A normal gestation period is 40 weeks. Two weeks may not seem like a big deal to some people but to a pregnant mother, it may seem like an eternity. Mothers may be extremely excited to meet their bundles of joy and going past the due date can be very stressful.
Having a post-term pregnancy does not only cause a mother to have to be uncomfortable even longer, especially with the extra trips to the bathroom, but it can cause complications. Going past 40 weeks means the baby is still growing each day, which could lead to a possibility of having a C-section if the baby becomes too big.
There is also a risk of a placental insufficiency which can cause a lack of oxygen. When a mother goes past 40 weeks it also means more trips to the doctor for tests such as contraction stress tests, biophysical profile, and antenatal fetal monitoring. With all of the complications that a post-term pregnancy can bring this could make moms stop after one kid.
2 The Biological Clock Is Ringing
One thing that may stop mom from wanting to have more than one kid may be the age she had her first born at. If she was a little older, more so 35 or older, and she had a pregnancy complication related to her age, that would most likely scare her away from wanting to have attempt to forego the whole process a second time in fear of the same complications arising again.
It may have just been a fluke chance that there was even a complication, to begin with, but that could have traumatized mom enough to make her rethink ever wanting to go through the same thing again.
There are plenty of women out there that are older than 35-years-old that have had healthy pregnancies and that have even gotten pregnant more than once after that age and still had everything turn out fine. Sometimes things happen that we cannot explain and for reasons that we cannot explain. It is understandable not wanting to go through the same thing twice though.
1 Not All Women Are Meant For Motherhood
When a mom first finds out that she is pregnant, she may be ecstatic at first and cannot wait for the arrival of the baby but when the baby comes, things may change. Some moms may realize that maybe they are not so ready for motherhood after all. Maybe they finally realize how expensive it is to have a baby and how quickly their baby uses up diapers and wipes and that mom cannot afford to have a baby. Or maybe mom starts to realize that she cannot juggle the motherhood with her work or social life.
Some moms start to realize that having a baby was the worst thing to happen to them and how selfish they truly are. They enjoy staying out until 2 am and sleeping until noon way more than they realized. Some moms start to realize just how miserable motherhood is truly making them. This should never be confused with postpartum depression because one is mental disorder while the other is not. A mom realizing that she is not meant for motherhood could be a good reason that she decides not to have more than one kid.