Parenting is not for the faint of heart: it involves hard work, difficult lessons, and so many bodily fluids. Like when you not-yet-potty-trained toddler takes off his diaper and smears the poop all over his crib. It will test your patience, your will, and the strength of your body and mind. Case in point: a tantruming and hangry toddler who is screaming bloody murder while you try to check out in the grocery store. When the parenting struggles get real, parents look for advice from family members (who hasn’t called their mom at 3 am with a baby question?!), books, the internet (hello, Google), and even the pediatrician.

Despite the struggles, we, as parents, don’t always want to admit just how hard it is. Because we think that admitting it is hard might be confused with being a bad parent. FYI: admitting parenting is hard does not make you a bad parent. It makes you a conscious and aware parent. Still, there’s many things parents don’t say out loud when it comes to parenting. A lot of things.

And although celebrities aren’t typically seen as parenting gurus, some celebrities have crystal clear visions about what parenting is really about. Here are 15 unfiltered celeb moms who say what we don't have the guts to admit.

14 Drew Barrymore: "You Can Talk Until You're Blue In The Face..."

We’ve heard the saying that kids are like sponges, but few of us actually really admit what that really means. The truth is that OUR behavior is parents has a lot to do with the behavior of our kids – whether we like that or not.

While appearing on The Ellen Show, Drew Barrymore admitted that her behavior sets the tone for the family: “It really is about the tone you set. And you can talk until you’re blue in the face, but kids watch what you do every single day of your life, all day long, and that behavior and that example and that love and community and honesty is just, I think, what’s making everything feel safe for my kids and that’s really the intention I had as a parent.”

So what’s the moral of the story here? If you’re yelling at your kids, don’t be surprised if they think it’s okay to yell back at you. (And vice verse for all the good stuff you do too.)

13 Tina Fey: "They Want To Kill You So Bad"

You spend hours cleaning the house, and (what feels like) 37 hours later, you finally sit down on the couch for a much deserved break. Then you see it: yogurt smeared all over the recently steam cleaned carpet. You almost don’t believe it. You walk to the playroom to ask your children about the yogurt when you see the tornado alley of toys, the leaking sippy cup, and a toddler undressed down to his pull-ups. You are pretty sure steam is coming out of your ears.

Tina Fey understands this scenario all too well: “It’s so funny because they’re not strong enough to kill you. And they want to kill you so bad! They can’t kill you. Not yet. Try again in a couple years.”

You might feel all the rage feelings, but only Tina Fey openly admits that your kids are actually trying to kill you.

12 Ellie Kemper:“I Don’t Know What I’m Doing..."

Ellie Kemper brings us all to a very poignant reality: “I don’t know what I’m doing, but then I have to remind myself no parent does, right?”

Is she right or is she right? As much as we want to think we know what we are doing, parenting is hard and confusing and the rules seem to constantly be changing. Especially when problems creep up at 2am: “is the baby sick or just overtired? Is she teething? Is Motrin safe? What about those natural teething tabs? Wait, weren’t they recalled? What if she has to fart – or burp?” Like I said, parenting is confusing, but most of us fake our way through it, relying on the advice of parents, pediatricians, friends, and of course, Dr. Google.

Only Ellie admits what the rest of don’t admit: none of us really know what we’re doing.

11 Kate Hudson: Breaking Up Is No Excuse To Be A Sub Par Parent

Breaking up sucks, no matter who you are and what type of relationship you had. But breaking up is infinitely more difficult with children in the picture. Pre-kids: a breakup could allow for all of the self-pity and wallowing and Netflix and ice cream that you could possibly want. Breaking up post kids: There’s no time for wallowing and self-pity because you have kids to take care of.

Kate Hudson calls on all divorced / broken up parents to challenge them to rise above their circumstances: “If Matt and I had a great relationship, we would still be together, but we chose to move on because we had different visions of how we wanted to live our lives. That doesn’t mean, though, that we can’t rebuild something that would be the best thing for the kids.”

Hudson challenges single parents to rebuild their lives for the sake of their kids – not wallowing in ice cream tubs, as much as you might want to do that.

10 Jennifer Lopez: No Slander Whatsoever

During custody battles, many judges often order parents to attend co-parenting classes, and often, the first rule in any co-parenting class is ALWAYS refrain from slandering the other parent and talking bad about that parent in front of the child. For angry and hurt couples, that is a lot harder to do than it sounds. J.Lo, however, reminds all divorced couples that it’s not about you (the parent), it’s all about the kids – and that means no talking poorly about the other parent!

“Marc and I are very good friends, we’re very supportive. I feel it’s my responsibility as a mom when their dad is not there to let them know that their dad loves them very much because that’s the doubt that they have when he’s not around or they haven’t seen him. That’s my job to do that the same way it’s his job when he’s with them to say, ‘Mommy is working and she loves you.’”

9 Idina Menzel: "You Have To Get Past Your Own Egos"

While J.Lo has the guts to tell other parents that you have to support the other parent – no matter what - Idina Menzel jumps on the bandwagon to admit that slander is never the solution. (Even if it feels so good to do.)

“[Our son] comes first and you have to get past your own egos and you never talk bad about each other.” Idina’s quote is pretty straightforward; she knows that talking about the other parent says a lot more about your ego than anything else. Again, this is why “talking nice about the other” is often the number one rule in co-parenting classes.

However, this quote also applies to non-separated couples. Even married couples can be victim to this. “Ah, your Dad is so lazy! I hate when he doesn’t do X, Y, Z. What a slob!” This type of language has no place in a family as it only teaches children to speak this way about people. And yes, there are actually nice ways to address issues such as dirty socks left all over the house, and that is exactly what Idina is getting at.

8 Ray Romano: The Clean House Myth

Having a clean house is a cruel myth that makes most parents feel inadequate. What about all those TV shows in which the house is immaculate and there are actual kids still living in the house? That’s just TV magic. Most parents strive to keep up the appearance of an immaculate house, but it’s just so darn hard to do, especially with really young children. And this is why moms and dads do the mad rush before company comes over – because it just so hard to keep the house in a constant state of “ready for visitors.”

Ray Romano busts the myth of a perfect house: “Having children is like living in a frat house—nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”

Of course, this isn’t an excuse to live in a dump… nope! We’re talking about perfectly tidied houses. There is a difference between clean and cluttered.

7 Erma Bombeck: The Need To Escape

Who doesn’t love a good girls’ night out? A few drinks with the girls followed by an all-you-can-eat taco bar, an upside down pineapple torte, and a good girly movie? It sounds great, and we do love our girls’ nights out – but why? We also need “me time”; we say that it’s mental health, but it’s more than the that: we need to escape the kids from time to time, and that’s totally okay. It doesn’t make you a bad parent.

Erma Bombeck jokes about the need to escape: “When my kids become unruly, I use a nice playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” Her quote is funny but she is saying what we have a hard time saying: we NEED a break. It’s not just luxury to have a girls’ night or some me time. It’s imperative.

6 Mark Ruffalo: You Are Never Doing Enough

You know that feeling: no matter what you do, it’s never good enough. Unfortunately, that feeling applies to parenthood too. As much as we tell ourselves that we are trying and trying is all that matters, Mark Ruffalo puts us in our place and reminds us all that you are never doing enough of the right thing; there is always room for improvement. He said, “If you’re not yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.”

Of course, he is also saying that spending time with kids is filled with instruction and discipline (how else are kids going to learn anything?), but his point is that you need to be spending more time with your kids… even if part of that time involves teaching your kids the hard lessons. You must be present in your kids’ lives and that’s a fact.

5 Nora Ephron: You Might Be Unpopular

When you bring home your tiny baby from the hospital, you have all these beautiful ideas of watching your child grow up and being their best friend. Tea parties and mani-pedis with your little girl. Taking your son on father-son camping trips. We know there will be tantrums and terrible two’s, but it’s hard to imagine ever being truly upset with that tiny bundle in your arms.

Nora Ephron admits what parents have a hard time admitting, that your kids might not actually like you. She said, “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” I guess that’s a good thing we already have a dog??

She’s not trying to be pessimistic, but she is being realistic about how human relationships work. They won’t always be perfect, but that should never stop you from investing in those relationships.

4 Will Smith: You Actually Aren’t The Boss

When your kid asks for chocolate milk and cookies for breakfast, you probably say no. They might ask you why not, and you might have responded by saying “Because I’m the boss, that’s why.”

It’s easy to think you’re the boss of your child, and you might be … for a while. But Will Smith admits that no parent can control the bodies of our kids because at the end of the day, you AREN’T the boss.

In regards to his daughter’s request to cut her hair, Smith said, “When you have a little girl, it’s like how can you teach her that you’re in control of her body? She can’t cut my hair but that’s her hair, she has got to have command of her body.” Think about that next time your daughter asks to get her ears pierced or her hair in a new style.

3 Hillary Clinton: You Are Not Superwoman

Women tend to take on the role of superwoman, trying to juggle full-time work and full-time parenting and full-time house management. Any one of those three items is more than enough work. Yet, here we are, trying to be and do it all. New moms especially feel like they need to take on the mantle of superwoman, and quickly feel overwhelmed.

Hillary Clinton admits what the modern mom cannot: you are not a superwoman. She said, “It takes a village” and yes I know she didn’t invent that phrase, but too many moms ignore the truth of that phrase. Clinton just re-shared what many parents need to hear, that it’s okay to ask for help. In fact, it’s usually necessary to ask for help. Without help, you’ll burnout, and a burnt out parent is an anxious, unhappy, hot mess.

2 Amy Poelher: You Have More Love Than You Know What To Do With

Before a woman has any children of her own, she may wonder what it is like to love a child. She has love in her life – her partner, her family members, her friends. But none of that love is exactly like the love of a mother and child.

Amy Poehler admits that the love for a child can consume you, and it can give you more love than you even know what to do with. She said, “‘I swear, if I could eat my children, I would. I’d consume them like some beast in a Hieronymus Bosch painting, but in a friendlier, more mom-like way. Their little bodies make me salivate. It takes everything I have not to swallow them whole.”

It seems funny the way she describes it, but she is spot on. There is more love than you can handle.

1 Kelli Williams: You Will Want To Abandon Your Kids

Oh family vacations! They can be so fun and filled with happy memories, but they can also be pretty stressful.

In regards to family vacations, Kelli Williams admits what parents might not have the guts to – that you might want to abandon your kids. (Just don’t actually abandon them… because that’s wrong. And illegal.)

Williams said, “We were on a family trip to Death Valley, and there were moments when my husband and I wanted to just leave the kids there — all the whining! You think that no other kid can do it as much as yours. When they’re with friends, they’re great; when they’re in the car with just the family, it’s maddening at times. But you adore them anyway.”

I suppose take this with a grain of salt when planning your next vacation, especially if you’re planning 10+ hour road trips!