When a mother holds her baby for the first time she sees perfection. An angel sent from heaven. Her baby is a total masterpiece! Moms eyes are filled with love. As if anytime she feel like she's glowing this would be the moment. Whether she is a first time mom or a experienced mom, the baby is the main priority in life - mom's number one! Mothers want to teach their children the best of things about life and how to be happy.
So much excitement and enthusiasm kicks in and you just want to start doing everything you can with the new little baby! So you start cleaning up the messes even though they're old enough to not be making one anymore, and letting them have the second or third cookie, and eventually continue dressing them even when they're old enough to be dressing themselves - because, let's face it, it's faster and easier for mom to do all these things instead of mustering up the patience to wait for baby to do it alone. The title "Mama Bear" kicks in. You do everything you can to make sure they're happy and healthy, and have everything they can possibly ever want. No mom should ever be to blame for wanting this for her child.
But with great and loving intentions, mothers can easily turn their adorable perfect little babies into grueling monsters from another planet. This can happen way quicker than you can ever imagine before you realize you have a problem. All of a sudden you are excited for your baby to grow out of habits and stages. Dinners become a wreak, you only leave the house if it's worth it and heaven forbid you have to get a hotel room.
Here are 15 ways mothers can turn their angels into spawns:
15The Happy Monster
When newborns or infants begin to cry we tend to give them a bottle, even when they shouldn't be hungry. At social events, for example a wedding or causal BBQ, moms will do anything if their baby is screaming to quite them down. Out comes the bottle or you're in the corner of the room nursing all dressed up. Mothers say that they hate the feeling they get when their baby is crying and they just can't satisfy or figure out their needs. Paranoia and panic sets in if they feel others are annoyed by the interruption.
The sucking sensation either helps them fall asleep or they just like to suck. When you're on an important phone call and you're repeating everything you're saying with your finger in your ear, you quickly get a bottle or whip your boob out. But giving in all the time because mom can't stand the screaming or is mortified that other people will be annoyed, can cause monster-like behavior. Babies cry - this is not new information. So when you go somewhere nice and baby gets used to this type of soothing, baby will likely start crying to take advantage when he or she wants another bottle.
14The Pampered Monster
Many mothers report that they are guilty as charged for holding their babies consistently. People will smile and say you can never hold a baby to much! Well it's all about what's on the schedule and what your goals are to accomplish that day. Mothers seem to grow that third and fourth arm as soon as they deliver a baby. A talented mother can juggle nursing, vacuuming, folding laundry and drinking a cup of coffee. A baby who demands to be in your arms at all time can create a challenging life. Sometimes you will just have to put the baby in the crib to get showered, eat without having to inhale your food or change a sibling's diaper.
Mothers admit that they hold their second baby way more because of other children in the house. This happens in cases where mom is protecting her baby from the other kids around because they think baby's like a toy. Toddlers and younger kids are obsessed with babies and they can over welcome their new addition. Soon, moms are holding to sooth anytime the baby fusses. Mothers say they hold their babies while making lunches, cleaning houses and nursing and walking at the same time. This turns a baby into a monster because when you want to do anything like pee or help a younger sibling, the baby will start screaming for mom to pick him or her back up again.
13The Boss Monster
We have all been there. When you want to just sit on the couch and decompress from the day and your baby just will not go to sleep. You have rocked and fed for as long as you could. Hopping in the car at nap time or soothing them to sleep by the motion of the car creates a monster who may not go to sleep on their own. Yes, it's so much easier and faster but the long term affect could become a royal pain in the butt, especially when you are more than over the day and ready to pass out.
Rocking them to full sleep every time they need to go to bed instead of laying them down partially asleep creates a long lived habit. My baby got used to being walked around with a bottle to go to sleep - and I walked miles! Your little tiny baby can quickly weigh as much as a boulder as you bounce and pace around. You will become a slave to your child if they do not learn to self sooth a little. You will regret it!
12The Whine Monster
Of course keep your baby safe but dashing to them every second is annoying to everyone. The unexpected gasps and the panic attacks every second creates raging anxiety for all those around. Everyone becomes on edge in the room due to the mother who is hovering around and screams every time their baby falls down. I think every new mom has her fair share of cardiac arrest moments. Second time around moms laugh at what they used to get upset about. You can always pick a mother of 3 or more out in a crowd due to them sucking up the moments of relaxation as their child is on the monkey bars.
A mother can make a girl or a boy very needy. Not allowing them to figure out things on their own or ever getting a boo-boo can create a major drama queen. Every time frustration kicks in or they bump themselves they tend to panic and cry because they don't get enough trial by error. Babies are eventually going to try new milestones and if they are going to be curious they might as well be confident. This goes for steps, climbing off chairs correctly or scrapping their knees. Helicopter moms - you gotta take a step back!
11The Eggshell Monster
This creates a monster by keeping the house sound proof when the baby is sleeping. This is an easy habit to create when there is only one child in the house. When they baby is sleeping, you may be napping too, so it's quiet. This could be a mom's quiet time with a book and coffee, so it's again quite. This can become a regular routine and moms never notice how quite they keep their house until company comes over. You could become the mother who shushes everyone when they talk or laugh inside the house. Anytime the baby hears a noise in the house, he or she wakes up.
This is also impossible if the baby has siblings. I always envied mothers who could take their kids to the park and lay a blanket down and their baby would sleep through everything. Having your baby used to some white noise is a great tip if you ever want to put your baby down for a nap somewhere other than your home. Take the do-not-ring sign off your front door and allow your baby to learn to sleep with some noise.
10The Smart Monster
Families with more children admit they tell the other children to give in to the baby. For example, "Just let the baby have it", "That's the Baby's, Give it to them , Don't just let them cry". This not only creates a little resentment from other children but it creates a baby who turns into a child who cries every time they don't get what they want. It's a good idea to not make siblings hand their stuff over just to keep the baby from screaming and having a fit. Even though you so badly don't want to deal with it, your baby has to learn they don't get what they want just because they cry and scream.
This is much easier said than done in the heat of the moment. It's the first of many sharing lessons a baby can have. Your kids will thank you for it. This creates a tiny monster who screams over everything they want and they know they will get it! Babies catch on that their scream can get them just about anything.
9The Stranger-Scared Monster
Letting people hold the baby even if the baby becomes fussy with someone else allows them to get comfortable with other people and build trust. Many people report holding a crying baby makes them feel very nervous and uncomfortable, and so hand the baby right back over to the mother. The baby learns that if I cry instantly, then I will go back to my mom. We have all been around babies who will not even look at you when their mom is holding them. You put your arms out for them and the baby turns and screams. You want to be able to have your baby comfortable with people you trust.
By all means not just any stranger! It's hard as hell to walk away from your baby when someone is holding them and they are reaching for you and screaming, but it's good for them to get out of their comfort zone and realise that you're coming back. When you're at family dinners or gatherings, let others enjoy your baby's company and your baby will learn to gain trust and get familiar with other people. There will come a time where you have to have a babysitter or enroll him or her in daycare, and your baby will not be able to cope without you in sight. Stay-at-home moms report that this is a struggle due to the fact that they are constant caregivers, so baby is used to mom doing everything for him or her.
8The Food Snob Monster
Feeding baby food for the first time is so exciting! Mothers can't wait to see their babies first expressions when tasting different foods for the first time. Babies, just like adults, love the sweet stuff! My own baby learned real quick even by the sight of the food on the spoon what I was feeding them. If it was something they didn't want, she would not even open her mouth. I would try every other spoon, one with veggies and then one with fruit. Soon she would be spitting out the meats and veggies and opening real wide for the fruits and yogurts. A great trick is blending similar tastes of fruits and veggies together, but sometimes that's not always what's available.
Have your baby learn to love straight veggies and meats and then slowly bring out the sweeter foods. I did this with my third baby and I could totally see a difference in her eating habits. This is tough because the excitement of stating cereal and foods is a fun milestone. This is also typical of juice and water. Start water earlier even before you mix the two together. Humans needs so much water, and it's good for us. Mothers who try fruits and yogurts too early can cause a veggie and meat snob. Babies know what the other stuff tastes like and its SWEET! Soon all they want is fruit and yogurt or the meltdown comes
7The Restaurant Monster
Babies who get used to sitting on your lap while you eat, quickly takes away from your meal enjoyment. As soon as they can go in a high chair, make that a routine place where all eating happens. This will keep your house less of a crumb infested disaster zone. Babies who know they can get out of their high chair will start to expect that everywhere and all the time. Just like their bed is for sleeping, their high chair is for snacks and eating. I personally find myself letting my baby walk around with cookies and a drink and then regret when I have to vacuum and wipe up milk paintings on the floor. Save yourself some house work and start being more strict about eating only at the table and high chair.
Again - an easier battled talked about issue than actually sticking with it. People used to tell me, "Don't let the snacking and eating in the car even happen" and i used to think yeah right, like that's going to happen. I can now see where they're coming from when I see a grave yard of old gummies, crumbs and french fries all over the floor of my car. Keep the eating where it belongs! Crying to get out of the high chair every meal time is exhausting and tends to get annoying.
6The Picky Monster
Babies at a young age can learn who they want to put them sleep at night, who they want to put them in the car seat and who changes them. Giving them control over these things allows them control over everyone in the house. By not changing the routine up a bit, babies can cry over someone doing something for them. This can create a dictator in the house. Sometimes moms and dads are busy doing different things at night and the routine has to have a change. The last thing you want is a tantrum over who is putting pj's on or who is brushing baby's teeth.
My daughter would scream if I got her out of her car seat when she wanted her daddy to do it. She also wants only me to push the stroller when shopping and she was not even one yet. If you are one of those families who are always running late, this monster is not going to help you beat the clock at all. Making sure all their needs are met and over catering to them are two different parenting styles. Babies, toddlers and kids should not be picking and choosing who is going to do what in the household.
5The Never Enough Monster
All mothers say how much they love laying with their children till they fall a sleep or reading books ALL night. But it's all fun and games when the baby wants you there longer and longer and you still have a million things to do before you actually go to bed. Every time you cave and stay one more minute or read one more book, it's way past their bedtime or you wake up in the middle of the night not in your own bed. They learn real fast their quota of how long you will stay and they begin stretching it longer each time. Making a deal of how many books you are going to read and setting a timer can help end the pressure of staying longer than you actually want to.
Children who have to have someone lay with them end up having trouble falling asleep on their own as they get older. My mother does a lot of babysitting for me, and my middle child cries that she won't lay down with her at nap time. My mother has to refuse because she is taking care of my youngest. This can make it tough on babysitters and grandparents. The last thing you want is someone MISSING their nap! These expectations turn unrealistic, especially if you have other children.
Articles are everywhere stating how laying with your kids till they fall asleep is fine and not doing any harm to them. It's not the harm on them to be concerned about, it's the harm on you and the rest of your evening that could instead be used relaxing with your husband or getting last minute things done in the house before the alarm goes off for another action packed day.
4The Maggie Simpson Monster
The binky. Where to begin? The never ending insights on when to take the binky away. Everyone's experiences and opinions are definitely different on this topic. Whether you believe in the binky or not, the day still comes when your child is just too old to be walking around with a pacifier in his or her mouth. The stages of getting rid of the binky start with mothers taking it away but allowing it for sleep, then gradually taking it away then, too. This sometimes works and sometimes just explodes in your face. Every time I would want to take the binky away, we would have to travel somewhere or a a sickness would hit the house and it would become just bad timing. Then it would get put off and put off.
Then the out of sigh out of mind technique is tried. My middle daughter seemed to stash binkys all over the house. Right when I would think we were over it, she would come around the corner with an old binky her mouth that was hidden under the couch. Then we would be at ground zero again. When you have a screaming tired headache or just want a quiet cup of coffee and the baby is fussy, the binky becomes your savor. The binky can reappear even after it's been taken away numerous times due to lack of patience and just needing some piece and quiet. Never forget moms are human, too!
3The Spoiled Monster
The performances mothers get sucked into doing every night just to get their children to bed. Mothers report they have snacks to give, baths to give, finding favorite pj's, brushing teeth, a ritual meltdown, songs to sing, books to read, prayers to say and laying down with baby all to JUST GO TO BED! In addition to the endless amount of chores it takes to get babies into bed, some people warm milk if the baby is no longer nursing or if daddy is putting them to sleep. Warm bottles are a must for newborns but older infants can get a little too used to it.
Warming milk is very soothing and is great but remember what you are setting yourself up for as the baby gets older. Warming a bottle of milk at 3:00 am because you know they will not even look at it before 11 months old gets old real quick. Giving your baby cold milk during the day and evening is a way to keep this from becoming a necessary chore to get them to go back to sleep in the middle of the night.
2The Obnoxious Monster
Mothers admit that they have learned to tune their children out when they're playing in the house. Living with small children and infants makes a person numb to noise. Moms are the worlds best multi-taskers out there and they learn real quick to pick their battles. If the kids are entertained and playing, that means you have time to work or enjoy something else in life. As long as they are not killing each other and nothing is on fire, you're golden! Next comes the realization that your kids are the loudest bunch of kids in the world. People start asking you how you can stand the noise all day. The running gets away from your radar too until someone needs stitches.
Until your kids are in a group with others kids, you don't realise how loud they actually are. What you allow in your house, small children will also do when they're visiting other homes. It's hard for them to turn rules on and off when they're having fun. You're just happy to sit down when you notice it's your one year old running and screaming through your friend's house. Even though it's hard to be super consistent with kids, remind them about voice levels and safe playing. Mothers can't even know it that they are creating annoying behavior.
1The Tasmanian Monster
Infants and toddlers love to tear things apart (break things apart) while they play. Letting your baby break and play roughly with their things in your home tends for them to not learn the meaning of being gentle and keeping things to last. This monster creating behavior is only human nature - curiosity kicks in and babies soon realize they they can pull things apart. All kids start by dumping and moving on to the next activity. This can get out of hand. Mothers regret not correcting or modelling better play because all their crayons are insistently broken, games are missing pieces and parts vanish from toys.
Freshly painted walls have masterpiece drawings on them and all toys are used as hammers. Mothers fear they are suppressing their baby's curiosity and creativity if they control play too much, this is not controlling but it protects your wallet, house and other people's belongings. Play dates are great but when your kid is the one to break everything in other people's houses, you pay the price. All of this is typical but can be worked on. People report that they can easily get upset when they see kids destroying things and never being corrected.
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