Have you ever looked at those impossibly well put together moms on Instagram and thought, "How do they do it?" Somehow, these women have managed to birth and raise a child, while making it look easy and dare we say it… fun! They’re not breaking a sweat over sleepless nights or messy kitchens. They might even boast about how messy their kitchen is, in carefully curated Instagram posts.
These 15 inexperienced mommies are winning the mom game and they have us wondering, maybe there's something we're missing on inexperienced motherhood...
You may think that being a mom becomes easier the 2nd, 3rd, or if you’re part of a clan of nineteen kids in counting, the 19th time around. Spoiler alert: that’s not always the case. Sometimes, it’s the inexperienced moms who get it right the first time around. There are a few benefits to being a new mom that can make a woman pretty good at taking care of her little one. There’s something to be said about a woman who just goes by her gut instinct and simply enjoys her time with her newborn.
After all, raising a new life is really not as scary as we think. In fact, being a mom is a lot of fun and it makes women feel good. Science has proven that when moms stare into their newborn’s face, the mom’s bodies release dopamines. So, read on to see what else these inexperienced blogger mommies have when it comes to parenting.
15 They Don’t Know All The Bad Things That Can Happen
‘Be careful what you think’, might sound like ‘new age’ advice about the universe and its energies, but you should know that there’s science behind it. There’s a reason that happy people stay happy and miserable people are eternally doomed to be Debbie Downers. Our experiences shape our brains (literally) and how we handle situations becomes a pattern for whether or not we’ll be happy or the type of person who empties rooms at parties. It’s called ‘experience-dependent neuroplasticity’. It’s based on research that has proven us when we focus on fear, and negativity, we’re prone to depression and anxiety. So, moms who only think about the positive aspects of being a mom- gratitude, love, laughter- have a higher chance of being happier moms who experience higher feelings of contentment being a mom.
14 They Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
Let’s face it, being a mom is messy, tiring, and can sometimes make you feel like a servant to a person 1/4 of your size. Yet, being able to laugh about it is a powerful tool against all of life’s messy moments as a new mom. No one wants to be the mom who is stressed about the finger paint on the walls or piles of laundry in her new house. Yet, we all want to be the mom who can laugh it off and leave her wall as is, because she considers her one-year-old’s fingerpaint a ‘work of art’. Moms who don’t put pressure on themselves to be perfect, are less likely to sweat the small stuff. Your child’s still alive, so pat yourself on the back even if the laundry hasn’t been done.
13 They Enjoy The Moment And Have Fun
Bouncing off of that last one, when you’re not sweating the small stuff, you’re more likely to have more fun. Have you ever noticed that fun people seem carefree? It’s the same with moms. You’re not just letting your toddlers paint on the walls, you’re painting on the walls too! You’re laughing and enjoying a moment with your little one. That’s what being a parent is all about. It’s the funny faces you’ll make at each other. It’s the secret giggles you’ll share. It’s not just about a perfectly clean house or always stepping outside with your hair shining like Kate Middleton’s. It’s about the smile that you get to share with your little one; even if it brings dirty looks when you race your shopping cart down the aisle of Whole Foods.
12 They Allow Their Natural Instincts To Kick In
Forget all of the parenting books. We were built to know how to be moms; literally. Sure, you might need a little help here and there from doctors and, dare, we say, mother in laws. Yet, for the most part, moms from all walks of life, and different educational backgrounds have been rearing decent human beings since the dawn of time. And, those instincts are strongest when the baby is first born. Our bodies will even adjust our temperatures to accommodate our newborns when our children are lying on our chests or breastfeeding. Another cool fact about being a new mom, studies have shown that when we’re calm, we can calm our newborns and synchronize their heartbeat to ours by simply looking into their eyes. It’s no wonder that newborns constantly want to be with their mommy.
11 They Might Think It’s Easy
This superhuman ability to calm the emotions of a baby might have some new moms think it’s easy. Nighttime breastfeedings are a cinch. They’re calm, so their child is calm and being a mother is a walk in the park. Kudos to that mom. After all, studies have shown that even up to the age of four, children absorb their parents' moods and behaviors. No matter how subtle, your baby will pick up on how you feel. It’s human nature. So, when you’re happy, you’re baby will be happy. Now, we’re not saying that babies who cry all the time, and who seem miserable, is caused by their parents feeling miserable. We’re simply saying that being relaxed and happy can affect your baby to act that way too, and make raising a newborn that much more enjoyable and easy.
10 They Love Their Child More
When you’re happy, you’re prone to be more open to love. That love extends to your child. More often than not, moms who experience difficulty bonding with their child also experience issues bonding with other people. Yet, when you’re happy with yourself and your partner, children are more likely to be the ‘happiest kids on the block’. And, who doesn’t love a happy baby? Often times, love is thought to bring happiness. Yet, it’s actually the other way around as it’s easier for people to love when they are happy. After all, love isn’t always going to bring about positive emotions. Loving another human being, even your child is an emotional roller coaster of both positive and negative experiences and emotions.
9 They Want To Be Around Their Child More
If you read this and think that all moms want to be around their cuddly new babies, then you haven’t heard of post-partum depression. Not every mom feels love at first sight and when you have an angst-ridden new child on your hand. Those feelings of love will be harder to come by. Well, you might love your child, but you might not like them and want to spend time with them. Simply put, new moms who associate their newborn with stressful situations will find that they don’t want to be around them. New moms who associate their newborn with love and peace, might even become ‘addicted’ to them. When our emotions are in that happy state, being addicted to our children’s smell, itty-bitty hands, and even their cute heavy sighs, is one of the ways our bodies have been designed to help new moms bond with their child.
8 They Often Practice Attachment Parenting
There’s a big debate surrounding attachment parenting at the moment. While it’s not the only way to parent a child, it’s definitely one of the many good ways out there. And, many moms who trust their instincts might find that this style of parenting comes to them naturally. Attachment parenting is based on a strong bond between the child and mother. Now, this bond doesn’t always mean that the parent is an overcontrolling hawk. It simply means that they offer love, support, and foundation for having healthy relationships later on in life. Children need a safe haven to explore the world. That haven is their home with their parents. When they have a loving, and supportive, relationship with their parents at a young age, it will affect how well they handle their relationships in the future.
7 They Expect To Learn
Inexperienced moms are aware that they don’t know everything. They might trust their instincts, but they’re also open to adapting and learning how to be a better parent. They’ll seek out advice and may be open to a book or two. They’ll actively learn and communicate with those around them to become the best parent that they can be. That openness to knowing that you don’t have all the answers can lead to less stress since these moms don’t have the same pressure to ‘have all the answers’. Moms who have their 2nd or 3rd child might feel as though they are expected to know everything and will put pressure on themselves to be ‘perfect’. Yet, you should always be open to learning about your child, new parenting techniques, and simply taking advice on how to be the best mommy you can for your little one.
6 They’re More Likely To Ask For Help
Asking for help is one of the best skills you can have as a new mom. You’re always a first-time mom. Motherhood is a constant learning curve. You might need everything from meal-planning tips to breastfeeding tips. You may also need someone there just to lend a helping hand. If you don’t ask for help, think that you can do it all and that you have all the answers, you’ll eventually burn out. Yet, many moms state that it’s hard to ask for help. They feel judged, shamed, and even nervous about people finding out that they don’t have all the answers. It’s a terrible thought because whether it’s your 1st or 3rd time breastfeeding, motherhood will have a way of throwing you a curveball. So, it’s just always better to ask.
5 They’re Open To Emotions
After nine months of hosting a growing life inside you, you have finally given birth. You now have to take care of that life. You bet, there are going to be a lot of emotions! Taking a deep breath and acknowledging all of your emotions is one of the best things that you can do for you and your little one. It won’t always feel easy and enjoyable. Some moms might experience postpartum depression. The worst thing they can do is feel guilty and bottle up those feelings. You’re not alone and you shouldn’t be judged for looking after your mental health. Inexperienced moms might be more likely to consult their physician and speak to a professional when they feel sad, unlike moms who ‘have been around the block’ a few times.
4 They’re More Likely To Co-Sleep
News flash! Co-sleeping is not always dangerous. There has been concern that co-sleeping can lead to sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Yet, there is a way to do it safely. It’s ideal if you’re a light sleeper. Also, co-sleeping can boost your baby’s development. As James McKenna, a professor of anthropology at the University of Notre Dame, puts it, “To put a baby alone in a room and close the door doesn’t help the baby learn, grow, and develop those sensory distinctions. When a baby first enters the world, she’s building a relationship with her mother, father, or caregiver.” Even when a newborn is sleeping, they’re still learning and their brains are developing. Studies show that co-sleeping is on the rise. We’re not sure if that means that new moms are falling asleep during feedings or if they’ve read the studies that co-sleeping infants wake up less.
3 They’re More Likely To Leave The House
New moms need to leave the house. Sounds easy, yet by the time you’ve cranked out your 2nd or 3rd kid, it’s harder than it sounds. Laundry piles up, dishes need to be cleaned, lunches need to be made, and all of this needs to be done in between trying to nap and shower with a new bub, that cries out for you 24/7. Leaving the house and even keeping up with your social life can become more and more difficult. Inexperienced moms who ask their moms for help with the laundry, and may not think anything of bringing their newborn on their brunch date with them, have achieved something that most moms can only dream of. They leave the house! And, it’s not always for a job or picking up their older kids from soccer practice. It’s to get a dose of fresh air and to feel like a human being again.
2 They’re Overly Prepared With Stuff
New moms tend to buy a lot of stuff because advertisements will tell you that you need things like a diaper genie. Spoiler alert, you don’t. Even if you don’t buy the stuff yourself, most likely you’ll receive dozens of gifts for your little one. Yes, inexperienced moms have it made. They may not know that they’ll need to have several different blankets for their newborn, but they’ll definitely have them. Experienced moms love to share their knowledge (and hand-me-downs) with new moms. It’s basically part of the mom code. And, that code means that no new mom will be without. There are also the first-time grandparents who will feel as though they've lost their minds with all the baby stuff that they’re buying for their first grandchild. We hate to say it, but baby #2 will not receive that much attention.
1 They’re More Likely To Take Time For Themselves
Take a look at mommy bloggers. Most of them are inexperienced moms who somehow find time to trim their post-baby frames into six-packs. They also seem to have healthy social lives and perfect blowouts… all the time. These moms have somehow found out how to balance being a new mom with being a functioning human being who takes time for herself. It’s the holy grail of motherhood. And, it’s not easy. Actually, it get’s harder and harder with the more children that you have. It’s a difficult balance when you have other obligations such as a job or being a wife, in addition to being a mom. So, it’s no wonder that many moms don’t take time for themselves. Yet, inexperienced moms who simply go about their regular lives, but with a new accessory they have to push around in a stroller, might be better off than the rest of us.
References: HeySigmund.com, RaiseGood.com, HuffingtonPost.com